The Original No
Temari was in a mood. A mopping mood. One of her friends, Ino, had just gotten engaged and the news triggered a breakdown. She had no one and Ino cheerily announced how her long term boyfriend, Shino, had just popped the question. Great. Their love made her want to gag. Temari sniffed into her blanket again and groped for the phone.
"Minami? Can you stop by? I need someone to cry with," she sniffed into the phone. Ten minutes later, Minami burst in, dripping wet from the rain, dark hair plastered to her neck. Green eyes glared, and softened like butter as Temari walked in with a carton of Rocky Road and two spoons. It was that kind of night.
Lots of tears, ice cream, and hugs later, a light bulb flickered over Minami's head. She glanced nervously over at Temari, who was watching a Spanish soap opera. This was getting pathetic.
"Hey 'Mari, maybe you should post a personal ad or something. 'Feisty Blonde seeks Man' or something like that. C'mon, it can't really hurt right? You don't have to send a picture until they send theirs," Minami braced mentally for an angry protest. Instead Temari nodded slightly and walked over to the kitchen to get paper and a pencil, when Minami hissed in pain.
"Damn it!! That light bulb's burning my hair!"
Temari's list grew longer by the minute. It took up three pages and after a few shots of warm sake, Minami convinced her to post the whole list, with a convincing argument of "juuss stand out fuurr once, wouldja?" After a week, the first batch of responses came in the mail. The girls sat in Minami's apartment and pored over the letters. Minami pointed out one of the guys.
"Ok, how 'bout this one? 19, tall, single, dark, and seems pretty smart. What's wrong with him? Well? I know that the one guy with six arms was a freak, but seriously, this was looks pretty good." She passed the letter and picture over to Temari, who narrowed her teal eyes.
"I specifically said no ponytails! Look at this boy, he's a freaking pineapple! Check out this one, he's adorable."
She held up a picture of a guy with black hair and very round eyes. Minami shrugged and Temari grinned like a wolf.
She would call him for a date tomorrow.
The next evening, after the date with Lee……..
Temari burst into Minami's apartment, furious and panicked at the same time. After more ice cream, Minami coaxed the story out of her.
"I called him yesterday and he told me the sweetest story about one of his favorite teachers and we talked for hours. And we decided to meet for drinks and dinner, and I go to the restaurant, and in comes this beast in green spandex! And he comes and sits right next to me, and apologizes, because he got a haircut yesterday and didn't tell me. It was a bowl cut! A bowl cut freak!!!!" she wailed into a pillow. Minami patted her on the back.
"Hey, it's ok. Just look through all the no's one more time, you'll find someone that's really great. Try the Pineapple Guy, or that one guy with a dog, or something."
FIVE YEARS LATER
Temari and her long time boyfriend, Shikamaru headed down to watch clouds on a hill, where he (finally) proposed. Minami laughed when Temari rushed into her apartment and just squealed and waved her hand around. Turns out, the hill is where Shikamaru's dad snapped a picture of him that he mailed away to the longest personal ad he had ever seen.
Minami teased her mercilessly.
"Isn't he the wrong one? The guy with the ponytail? He's the original no, for crying out loud! And he's so lazy. What's he like when you're alone, hm?"
Temari grinned and played with her new ring. "All over me."