The Flying Hippopotamus Killing Hour
Ryan woke up from a long sleep and went down the stairs. There he found Seth eating breakfast and talking to Sandy. "Are you sure this is kosher?" Seth wondered in his head before eating his sausage links. Ryan could hear it even though Seth didn't even open his mouth. "I can hear everyone!" he yelled. Everyone stared at him. "I told you to take the cocaine away from him!" Seth yelled at Kirsten. They went at it, calling each other every name in the book. Ryan ran to school as fast as he could. Before the bell rang for the beginning of class, he bumped into Marissa and Summer. Marissa, looking depressed, embraced him. "Why am I looking sad even though I'm off the quaaludes? I had a shower," Ryan could hear from her. He backed away, walking to class before hearing Summer ponder, "Does fucking Oliver make me crazy?" Ryan, puzzled by it all, looked at her as if she was a druggie.
If there was one thing Ryan was more shocked about than this power was his sudden friendship with Luke. He was in the lunchroom, sitting next to Anna and Seth. He could hear no thoughts for the most peaceful ten minutes of the day, until something had to come up. A white guy stood on top of a lunchtable next to the trio and started singing "I'm Not Going, I'm Staying" with a tenor that made the others look shocked and bewildered. A group of animal control people busted from the doors and blew a dart gun just as he was at the "and you, you, and you, you're gonna love me" part. He collapsed right onto the shiny plastic tiled floor. The people were looking at the controllers like cannibals. They ran to them and started grabbing and killing them. A human hand landed on Seth's mashed potatoes. The trio were the only ones who didn't want them dead. "This is like a horror movie," Seth said. Suddenly, an announcer could be heard. "Can three normal high school students survive against cannibalistic classmates? Ryan Atwood, Seth Cohen, and Anna Stern in "Cannibal High Schoolers"! Now Playing," a pesky, annoying announcer yelled through the loudspeaker.
If I continued, this would be an episode of "OZ".
THE END
P.S.A: Hello, I'm Benjamin McKenzie. Tonight's episode chronicled the perils of marijuana use, none of which we could show due to that bitch Janet Jackson. So, if you are affected by this episode, subscribe to High Times magazine at this number, 1-800-Doobie. Stoned operatiors are standing by with more irresponsible comments than a Michael Moore movie. Call now, or cannibalistic high school students will come for you. Goodnight, and I have one tiny note: Wu Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with!
Ryan woke up from a long sleep and went down the stairs. There he found Seth eating breakfast and talking to Sandy. "Are you sure this is kosher?" Seth wondered in his head before eating his sausage links. Ryan could hear it even though Seth didn't even open his mouth. "I can hear everyone!" he yelled. Everyone stared at him. "I told you to take the cocaine away from him!" Seth yelled at Kirsten. They went at it, calling each other every name in the book. Ryan ran to school as fast as he could. Before the bell rang for the beginning of class, he bumped into Marissa and Summer. Marissa, looking depressed, embraced him. "Why am I looking sad even though I'm off the quaaludes? I had a shower," Ryan could hear from her. He backed away, walking to class before hearing Summer ponder, "Does fucking Oliver make me crazy?" Ryan, puzzled by it all, looked at her as if she was a druggie.
If there was one thing Ryan was more shocked about than this power was his sudden friendship with Luke. He was in the lunchroom, sitting next to Anna and Seth. He could hear no thoughts for the most peaceful ten minutes of the day, until something had to come up. A white guy stood on top of a lunchtable next to the trio and started singing "I'm Not Going, I'm Staying" with a tenor that made the others look shocked and bewildered. A group of animal control people busted from the doors and blew a dart gun just as he was at the "and you, you, and you, you're gonna love me" part. He collapsed right onto the shiny plastic tiled floor. The people were looking at the controllers like cannibals. They ran to them and started grabbing and killing them. A human hand landed on Seth's mashed potatoes. The trio were the only ones who didn't want them dead. "This is like a horror movie," Seth said. Suddenly, an announcer could be heard. "Can three normal high school students survive against cannibalistic classmates? Ryan Atwood, Seth Cohen, and Anna Stern in "Cannibal High Schoolers"! Now Playing," a pesky, annoying announcer yelled through the loudspeaker.
If I continued, this would be an episode of "OZ".
THE END
P.S.A: Hello, I'm Benjamin McKenzie. Tonight's episode chronicled the perils of marijuana use, none of which we could show due to that bitch Janet Jackson. So, if you are affected by this episode, subscribe to High Times magazine at this number, 1-800-Doobie. Stoned operatiors are standing by with more irresponsible comments than a Michael Moore movie. Call now, or cannibalistic high school students will come for you. Goodnight, and I have one tiny note: Wu Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with!