Sometimes Kelly Kapoor couldn't remember why she was doing this. She didn't want to be hear cradling the receiver of the black phone under her chin while she kept one eye fixed on the doorway of her private nook. She didn't want to have to constantly worry that Michael, Jim or Dwight were finally going to figure out the lies she had been telling for the past few weeks. She didn't want to know how people in the office would look at her differently if they knew the truth about what she was doing. She didn't want to look at herself in the mirror as she tried to make sense of it all.
And there would be a night like tonight when he would show up at her door with his bright blue eyes blazing and she would remember her reason for everything. A single kiss could bury all her fears and the simple graze of his hand across her cheek could justify what she had done. She was doing this for him…for them.
Kelly would have to be stupid to believe that lying for Ryan was the answer to all their problems or even her prayers. She knew that he was only using her to get what he wanted. However, after a year of not kissing him, feeling him, loving him, she needed to get what she wanted. The thing he didn't know was that she was using him too. Ryan made her feel a depth of emotion that Darryl would never be able to conjure up in her. She would have never lied about the customer surveys for her actual boyfriend. No, that stupid streak was reserved only for him. He'd always had that kind of hold over her and a part of her really wanted to shake it. Unfortunately, a bigger part of her was still completely in love with how he was making her feel right now.
"Oh, God," she moaned as she grazed her perfectly polished nails through his dark hair. Ryan pulled back and looked into her eyes before diving in to lay a trail of open-mouthed kisses along her collarbone. Her lids fell shut as she threw her head back to grant him greater access. Ryan slid his hands up her legs until they found a warm home on her creamy thighs, just beneath the hem of her gauzy red dress.
Dancing her backward on the bed, Ryan managed to press her down to the mattress. He'd always liked this part, hovering over as her eyes danced with wild abandon and passionate anticipation. He knew that she would inevitably wrap her leg around his waist and him completely down onto her body. Her favorite part had always been the weight of him against her. Ryan had to admit that part was pretty nice, too.
She could hear the blaring of the latest Britney Spears single as her cell phone rang somewhere within the confines of her dark apartment. The only time Kelly ever ignored a call was when she was with him. The sound of the phone was quickly drown out by Ryan's ragged breath in her ear as he whispered all the things that he wanted to do to her. She felt the familiar sensation of desire dart through her body straight to her center. His eyelashes fluttered over her skin as he showered kisses down the gentle slope of her neck, across her bare shoulder, over the length of her soft arm and finally upon her wrist. He leaned back on his heels and gazed down at her proudly, knowing the effect he was having on her very willing body. She rewarded his efforts with a lazy smile before reaching for the row of buttons on his bright blue button-up shirt.
Her tiny fingers worked nimbly over the buttons as she peeled away the shirt. Ryan laughed softly as he tossed it over his head and proceeded to do the same with her dress. He'd always had so much fun with Kelly when she was like this. This was the one place where he had always been the one to take the reigns in their relationship. She was quiet and completely under his spell in the bedroom. If this was all there was to them, he would have been fine with loving her forever. It was only when they went outside the four walls of her apartment that they ran into trouble. However, like he always did, he managed to block it out and concentrate solely on the tempting dance her fingertips were currently performing on his belt buckle.
"Do it," he grunted into her ear before burying his face in her silky black hair. She giggled softly in response as she undid his belt and pulled it free from his black pants. Ryan captured her mouth in a soul-shattering kiss while she managed to unbutton his pants and shrug them halfway down his legs. He pulled back only long enough to push them the rest of the way off before turning them around on the bed so that she was on top. Her hair cascaded down over both shoulders, making her more beautiful than she'd ever looked before, so much so that he had to tell her. In fact, he might have let it slip that he loved her. She didn't respond. She never responded when he said it in bed. If she didn't say it back, he could pretend that it wasn't real and wouldn't have to feel guilty later. He didn't have to lie to her and tell her that it didn't mean anything when they both knew that it kind of did.
So, instead of declaring her love to him, Kelly reached behind her back and unhooked her hot pink satin bra and let it slide down her bare arms. She smiled at him cheekily as he rose up to meet her, kissing the place where the straps had been only moments before. Kelly laughed a little as Ryan nipped playfully as her skin before kissing gently over the same spot. He'd always been very good about the stuff before. He was also pretty good at the during stuff. It was only the afterwards part that he needed to work on.
"Are you sure about this?" Ryan asked huskily as he leaned across her body to retrieve the silver foil packet from her nightstand drawer. Her silent nod was the only permission he needed. Tucking the package beneath her pillow, he went back to work kissing down her bare chest and over her slightly rounded stomach. Kelly was soft in all the right places, with her curves and her hips. He liked that when he held her, he actually felt something. She wasn't like those anorexic club chicks he had picked up on in New York. He'd needed the exact opposite of her then so that he could forget how good he'd had it in Scranton. However, as his fingers spanned her waist to pull her body firmly to his, he didn't want anything other than Kelly. He needed to be there with her.
"I want to feel you," she implored desperately as her hands brushed over the front of his black boxer briefs. Lying back, she presented her legs to him so that he could remove matching panties. He took his time inching the satin material down her calves, stopping periodically to tease her with his touch or brush a kiss over her skin. He enjoyed the sharp inhales she took every time he touched her, relishing the effect he still had on her. Finally, Kelly felt him pull the material over her manicured toes, setting something free in her.
Slipping her hands beneath the waistband of his briefs, Kelly looked into his eyes intently as she wrapped her small hand around him. Ryan moaned into her shoulder when she ran her fingertips over his length with her left hand and pushed away his underwear with her other hand. Now there was nothing between them, including the emotional barriers Ryan built up to keep her from seeing the truth and Kelly kept so that he didn't break her heart again. Kelly reached back and pulled the hidden packet from under her pillow and tore it open with her teeth. "Look at me," Ryan demanded as she started to roll it onto him. He held her steady gaze, sparks radiating between them. Finally, once he was completely protected, he wrapped his hands around her body and pulled her into his lap. Only when she was settled onto him completely did he stop to revel in the feeling of her with a very satisfied, "Oh, God."
Kelly started to move her hips against his body, wanting to feel him sink into the depths of her core. No matter how awful Ryan had been to her that day, this moment always made all of it seem worth it. He pressed his forehead to hers as they started to move together, completely in sync and as one. He loved the strained way she called out his name, prodding him to take her closer to the edge. Her nails raked over his bare back as she impaled herself on him over and over again. Ryan held firmly to her waist, not once letting her slip away from him. He liked to hold her tightly, to feel every inch of her body and of the experience. Her heart pounded wildly against his chest as she tossed her head back and groaned contently. He met her halfway in a long kiss, swallowing yet another series of moans from her pert ruby lips.
"Not yet," he warned her softly in her ear as he felt her body start to shake. He was always doing that, taunting her to the brink of a much-needed orgasm, only to pull her back from the edge over and over again. It was a sick little game that she enjoyed entirely too much. Their goal had always been to fall over the edge at the same time so that they could bask in their mutual pleasure. Ryan knew exactly the right pace to take her to tease her without exasperating her completely. Kelly knew how to elicit a quicker release when he wasn't playing fair. Tonight, however, there would be no game playing. They both wanted to enjoy this for as long as it lasted because they knew it would come to an end all too soon. "Kel, are you with me?"
She smiled happily at him as she nodded her head before pressing her face into the nook of his arm. She loved it when he called her Kel. It was such a small thing that made her feel so much. "Right there, Ry," she begged him, her words muffled by his shoulder. He loved it when she called him Ry. It was such a big thing that made him feel so complete.
"I'm close," he told her a few minutes later as he slid his body over hers. Her hair was fanned out over the light pink pillowcase, her arms thrown over her head in utter pleasure. Her bare chest pressed against his as he brought them closer to the brink. Kelly reached up to entwine her arms around his neck, bringing his face down to hers in a long kiss. Her legs locked around his waist, deepening their connection with every thrust. Finally, he felt the familiar surge as her body started to shiver beneath his. Moments after, he brought them both to their release without any grand announcement, only a kiss.
Ryan held her tightly until the convulsions of ecstasy had subsided. Only then did he slip from her body and roll onto his side so that they lay like spoons. Ryan brushed a kiss over her shoulder before wrapping his arms around her body. Kelly pulled the sheets up over them and allowed herself the few precious moments of being held that he would give her. She looked at him over her shoulder coyly, pleased at the adoring way he was smiling at her. "Yeah, so that was good."
"Mmhmm," she agreed lazily, running her fingertip over his forearm until she reached down for his hand. He entangled their fingers together and rested them against her bare hip. "It's too bad that the customer surveys are due tomorrow."
Guilt washed over him as Ryan remembered what had brought him here. He had convinced Kelly to risk her job and lie about the surveys. He thought that if he could make Jim and Dwight look bad enough, Michael might consider firing one of them and move him back to sales. Kelly had agreed only when he had promised to spend time with her. He had figured that they would just watch a movie at her apartment and maybe makeout a little on the couch. It had been a very pleasant surprise when she had acted on this instead as the form of payment.
"Yeah," he said finally after realizing that he hadn't responded. He didn't know what to say. "But maybe we shouldn't be doing this anymore anyhow. You're with Darryl now. We've been broken up for a year. I know you won't believe me when I say this, but I don't want to hurt you again, Kel."
"I believe you, Ry," she promised, and he knew that she meant it. Kelly had always believed him, believed in him. That had been one of the hardest things for Ryan to accept and to let go of. She was the only person who'd ever had such blind faith in him. With everyone else, acceptance had always come at a cost. "I knew what I was getting into."
"Well, maybe I didn't," he said before he could stop the words from coming. He felt her stop breathing as she looked up at him again. There was a vulnerability in his blue eyes that had never been there before. He had said so much in those four words, things he wanted to deny but she needed to believe were still there. "I didn't know that it would feel like this when it was over."
Kelly turned over in his arms and pressed the length of her entire body to his as she kissed him with all that she had. It could end here, and they could both walk away before either of them got hurt again. She could go back to Darryl, and he could go back to whatever random skank he picked up at Poor Richard's. They could pretend that it didn't matter how deeply she felt and the fact that she could make him feel anything at all. However, she didn't want to. She wanted to find a way to make it work. "Well, there is always the year-end customer complaint report I have to file."
A devious smile played across Ryan's handsome features. "That could work," he agreed before pulling her back to him for another kiss. Maybe despite what the cynics said, Ryan and Kelly could have their cake and eat it, too.