Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim you misguided fools!

"Social Disease"

Chapter 1

Zim sighed as he sat in class. He glanced up at the clock. 2:45. There was still another 25 minutes of class left. He was in High-skool now. 11th grade to be exact. Things were much different now then they were in Elementary Skool. Oh, he still tried to take over the world, but now for a totally different reason - most of the time just to get a rise out of Dib, who was still his partial-enemy. Even though Zim would never admit it, Dib was the closest thing to a friend he had. They talked at lunch, they did projects together, walked home together. In fact, quite a few comments on the pair had been made that they were even TOGETHER together. This was absurd, of course, Zim had thought, when he heard someone talking about it in the bathroom. Still he couldn't help but wonder about such things. A member of the mighty Irken race would surely never inter-breed. Especially with a pitiful human whelp such as Dib. But still…

Zim cast a half-glance at the human aforementioned who sat across the room, two seats down and one seat back. He clenched his teeth and fisted his hands tighter as he stared. He quickly averted his eyes as the human looked up from whatever it was he was writing, though by the look on his face, he was drawing again. Whatever he drew, Zim was not aware, for Dib kept his drawings in a separate folder in his bookbag. And even though they were pretty much friends, Dib never mentioned the folder or his drawings, so Zim never found any reason to bring the subject up. Besides, mentioning something like that would give away the fact that he observed the human constantly. And this, he did not want.

Zim looked back up at the clock. 10 minutes left to go. Ms. Crepsley was still babbling on and on about something. Zim wasn't really listening to her. Fazing in and out of her conversation, catching only a few choice words like 'destruction' and 'death'. He was mostly just wrapped up in his internal conversations, most of which having to do with Dib.

Zim's mind slipped into some dark corner and he suddenly caught an image he wouldn't willingly admit to anyone that he'd thought about. But instead of shy from the thought, he became more interested, letting his mind free to think up all sorts of…things… and before Zim knew it, he was forced to cross his legs. Then the bell rang. He cursed in his native language under his breath and slowly gathered his things as he struggled to regain control of himself. Finally, calming himself down enough to maintain appearances, he stood up and slung his book bag onto his shoulder. He smiled at the human who stood waiting at the door for him, and they began walking through the sea of people towards the door.

"Are you okay, Zim? You look kinda…shook up." Dib asked, walking next to the Invader.

"Eh…of COURSE I'm okay! Nothing can shake up the mighty ZIM!" Zim semi-shouted playfully into the air, halfway raising a fist as he spoke.

Dib smiled and cocked an eyebrow. The alien never failed to amuse him. His rants were usually just for show - Zim couldn't be taken seriously, nor could Zim take anything seriously. He had a wise crack for everything and anything.

"Riiight, Zim…" Dib responded, adjusting his book bag on his shoulder and squinting as they stepped into the blinding afternoon sun.

Zim cast another glance at the boy, who was now wincing at the sunlight. Dib was taller now, of course. The flowing scythe on the top of his head was a bit longer now, hanging down behind his head nearly to the base of his neck. The back and sides of his head were shaved while the rest of his hair was spikily slicked back, although a few rebellious strands maintained their position, jutting into his eyes, which were a bright amber color behind his wire-framed glasses. He always wore his trusty trench coat, even though he'd gotten a few new ones to fit him better over the years. His shirt today was consisted of a blue smiley face with its tongue sticking out, on a black shirt. He wore knee-length shorts today with his long, steel-buckled boots that rose up to his knees.

'Yes, the Dib has definitely changed since the short little runt he was in fifth grade.' Zim thought, tearing his eyes away for a second time as Dib turned to look at him, but Dib had caught his gaze and smiled a bit.

"What?" he asked, trying to pull a non-interested tone.

"I don't know what you're talking about, human." Zim said stoically, trying to maintain his strong voice. Dib sighed quietly and looked away, and Zim saw with the corner of his eye. He finally gathered up the courage and asked, "What do you draw in class all the time, anyway?" and he regretted it as soon as he did, biting his tongue as he waited for a reply.

"Oh…whatever I feel like drawing that particular moment. Why? Have you been watching me or something?" Dib replied, beaming playfully to show it didn't matter either way.

"NO! I just…happened to look back and see you drawing is all…"

"Then why so defensive about it?" Dib grinned, continuing to stare up ahead.

"I'M NOT BEING DEFENSIVE! I just don't want you to get…eh…wrong ideas in your giant head! Why would I WANT to watch YOU anyway?" He huffed and jabbed a finger quickly at the Dib's shoulder, like a spear.

Dib made a noise and rubbed the spot on his shoulder, pulling a face. "I don't know, Zim. I have no idea what runs through your mind. But you DID look like something was wrong the last few minutes of class. What with the sweating and shaking and clenching your fists and-"

"So you were watching me TOO then!" Zim cut him off, grinning in triumph as Dib's smirk melted off and he blushed.

"How am I NOT supposed to notice a shivering, sweating alien in the corner of the room? Kinda hard to miss."

"You could've kept drawing in that vile little book like you always do. You didn't HAVE to look at me!" Zim's squeedilyspooch swelled with victory.

"Neither did you…" Dib mumbled, eyes downcast as they walked down the sidewalk towards their neighborhood.

The long stretch of silence seemed to ring in Dib's ears as they continued. The only sound that could be heard was that of their feet falling on the pavement. Finally he sighed and looked back at the Invader. "What're you doing later tonight?" he asked.

Zim looked up quickly, caught off guard by such an odd question. His antennae twitched curiously under the fake hair. "Why should I tell you?"

Dib shrugged. "I don't know…maybe I could come over later and we could just hang out or something. You know…friend stuff." He paused, waiting for Zim's reply. "We ARE friends…aren't we, Zim?"

Zim stared blankly at the sidewalk in front of him, thinking of all possible replies, and finally settling on, "Why would I be friends with my worst enemy?" but it was said almost softly, completely void of threat.

Dib smiled. "I'll take that as a yes. I'll be over later then." Dib said, patted Zim on the shoulder, and headed off in the direction of his house, a separate way than Zim went.

Zim stopped short for a minute, watching the human as he walked away, trailing his eyes, examining his so-called foe. Why would the Dib want to come over to his house anyway? What could they POSSIBLY do together that was so magnificent? What was the point of this 'just hang out'?

=Meanwhile, somewhere above the Earth=

"Are you sure he's on THIS one?" said one Irken soldier to the other, looking at a large, extremely vague map.

"I'm positive. This is Ee-arth, right? The big, spinning blue and green one?" replied the other soldier. They sat in an Irken spaceship, hovering just outside the earth's atmosphere.

"I think so…but where's he stationed at?"

"Over in section 77C." the soldier pointed to the location on the map of Earth.

"Well then, let's go get him!"

And off they flew…

A few minutes later, the spaceship landed in the back yard. The soldiers got out and walked around the house to the front door. The first one knocked, then they stood there for a minute before it opened slowly to a little, green dog.

"Yeeeeeeeeeeeessss?" the dog asked, looking up at the soldiers.

"Is Zim here, GIR?" one soldier asked, craning his neck to look down at the fluffy green thing peeking up at him.

"Wow!" the dog piped. "You know my naaaaaame!"

"Yes. Yes we do. But is Zim here?" he repeated, becoming slightly annoyed.

The little dog just stared up at them for a long moment before squeaking, "He'srightoverthere!" and pointed to the kitchen.

"Thank you." The soldier replied, stepping past GIR and into the house, the second soldier following behind.

"GIR WHO IS….it…" Zim halted as he noticed the soldiers who saluted him on sight.

"Mighty Zim, I am Irken soldier Kri and this is soldier Krad. We have come to take you to the Massive with us." Said the first soldier, who looked up at the taller Irken.

"Um…since when did you guys get so short?" Zim asked, looking down at the soldiers.

"Actually, Zim, you have gotten taller. So tall, in fact, you have out-talled the Tallests by an Earth-en half-inch." He made a gesture with his fingers.

Zim's jaw hung open. "You can't be serious."

"I assure you, Zim, we are very serious," said Krad, eyes glittering over the top of the collar in her uniform.

"We'll take you back to the Massive where the Tallest initiation will begin and then you will- " Kri started.

"But I can't leave!" Zim cut off. "I'm not done destroying the planet yet!"

"Oh, we already have an invader to take your place! Tallests don't do invader work!" Kri laughed.

"You don't understand! I can't be a Tallest!"

"Well, why not?"

"Cuz… because…eh…I have…work to do! Yes! Very important work to complete!"

"I'll take care of it." Krad said.

"What about my stuff, my base?"

"We'll pack it straight away, but you have to report to the Massive first." Kri replied.

"But I don't want to be a Tallest! I don't know the first thing about BEING a Tallest!"

"That's why we have to report immediately, so you can start the training." Kri's tone sounded slightly agitated by this point.

"Why so reluctant, Zim? Haven't you always wanted to be a Tallest? That's every Irken's dream!" Krad cut in, gesturing widely with her arms.

Kri narrowed his eyes, pointing accusedly toward Zim. "You haven't made friends here, have you? Because you know that's against Invader protocol to-"

"No! Of course not!" Zim snapped. "I just don't want to be a Tallest!"

"Of course you do, silly! Now come on!" Kri said, smiling, grabbing his arm and gently tugged him towards the door. Zim shoved his hand off, fuming.

"I'm not leaving with you and that's final." Zim snapped again. "Now get out of my base." He narrowed his eyes, pointing toward the door.

"But, Zim, you-"

"I SAID GET OUT!" Zim shouted, baring his teeth at the soldiers, who fled for the door. Zim slammed the door behind them, still seething in anger. Then his face dropped and he walked to the couch and collapsed on it. He turned his head to face the wall, his claws gripping the fabric. They'd be back and he knew it - the tallest Irken would be forced to be a Tallest whether he wanted to or not. That was the flaw of Irken society; the taller the Irken, the higher the rank, that's just the way it was.

What had triggered his surprising growth spurt in the first place? How did he go from being the shortest Irken to the tallest in a matter of a few years? The gravity? The food? What was it? He wasn't sure. But he was sure of one thing… he didn't want to leave Earth behind. Whether Dib was his friend or not, he was all he had in the whole universe. If only Dib was an Irken, things would be better. Dib was as tall as Zim…if Dib were an Irken, they'd be equals in rank. Tallests. Then maybe Dib would get the appreciation he so rightly deserved, not be treated like dirt by stupid, idiotic morons who rank their species by what clothes they wear. Maybe he could…was it possible…?

Zim quickly leapt off his couch and made a mad dash toward his labs. He had work to do…