Angel of Music, Why Must I have This Torment?



Sarah Madonna



Prologue





~Raoul~



I begged Christine to come out of her room. I stood there on the other side of the door pleading with her to let me in and talk to her or at least stop crying. She was there for almost a week already. That bloody thing, that monster. The Phantom of the Opera, he made all this happen to my poor Christine. She had fainted when we reached the shore of that house on the lake, in that dreadful boat, if a house is what you want to call it. I can't imagine my poor Christine there forever and me living my life above ground with out her. She was so brave to kiss that fiend, she saved my life. She saved both of us. I brought her to my flat that I had in Paris. Even before that night she had informally moved in with me keeping her things at her own. Still spending some nights and keeping some dresses and what not at mine. Despite my protests she wanted a room of her own. She was in her regular room, I had a few things put in to make her feel more at home. There is a picture of her father and mother and a picture of us at the sea so many years ago.

When she comes to her senses and starts speaking to me besides saying,

'Oh Raoul" or "Go away please Raoul."

I plan to arrange a date for our marriage get her away from the Opera house for as long a possible and move back in to my house a miles outside of Paris.

The only person that she lets in is that maid Maria... She tells me Christine has barely eaten for the week and I often think she is ill.... I'll try again.

"Christine, love please. Are you ill my love? I need to see your face. For god's sake talk to me."

I could hear her sobbing into a pillow. How much I wanted to be there and comfort her.

"Christine...." I said once more swearing it was my last attempt.

Than the door swung open and she was standing there. Eyes red, hair all frizzy and she was wearing one of my dress shirts, she said once she wanted one because when she was scared or upset she would wear it and feel comforted in it. I asked her why she would be frightened alone in her flat. She told me because the neighborhood hers was in was a bad one with women screaming out in the streets. I of course had offered to pay to get a better one but she refused. I now know she was not scared of the part of Paris she was in. She was afraid of the Phantom of the Opera. I was so foolish not to believe her. But I mustn't blame my self for that Angel in Hell.

"Why are you crying my love?" I asked

"I'm such a horrible person, I can't to stop and think what I did to ruin that man's life. I told him I hated him." Christine said

I of course stood there dumbfounded not understanding what she was saying. Was she sorry for telling that bastard she hated him for trying to kill me ?

"What do you mean? What man?" I said not putting things together

She had now walked in the room and sat on the bed. I followed and sat next to her. Looking over the pillow was fresh with tears.

"Erik, Erik is a man! I was so contemptuous. I took off his mask to the whole opera populare."

Why is she saying this to me? Why is she crying over him? I stood up in disgust and backed away from her.

"Why are you telling me this I have no pity against that monster."

"Raoul he's not a monster! Why are you so..."

I became so mad. She was siding for this monster? I reached out my hand towards her and slapped her face. She touched her face with a look of pure horror. She started to cry. That made me feel even more mad.

"Christine, stop." I said forcefully

"Who's the monster now, Raoul. How could you?" she sobbed

Did she really say that to me? The Viscount de Chagny? I went down floors below anyone should go to save her from that bastard. What if I had never went? What if I went down days later and saw her dead and abused in such horrible ways only to fulfill a man's desire. I'm her fiancé and she had never much opened her legs to me. What if she didn't want me to find out what she did with that... I got so mad I made another attack on her.

"you immoral whore." I screamed



~Christine~



"Who's the monster now, Raoul. How could you?" I said fighting back tears.

He struck me. I know he had been drinkin. His eyes were bloodshot and his breath smelled of it. Most likely because I haven't been speaking to him for the past few days. My friend, my beau, my fiancé. I sat there my face burning. His face was red, his boyish looks were gone but only a look of true hatred came over him. His hand again. It was over his head and it shouted



"You immoral whore."

It all happened so fast I didn't know what to do. Never having anyone raise a hand to me. My father would never even think to do that. Once we had gone to a Fair where he was playing the violin. I was only 10 years old, and there was a man hitting a little girl because she had dropped her ice cream. I was scared and held tight on to him. I can only imagine Raoul would do that because he didn't' love me.



~Raoul~



I must have it her hard because my hand ached all over. I hit her jaw and with a crack she fell to the floor and was unconscious What did I do? What did I do to my Christine? I gently picked her up and laid her down on her bed. As I looked upon her with her face bruising I started to cry. I will get her out of here. Back to my house, our house miles away from Paris where she won't have to think about him. I walked out of the room and summed the servants to pack up some of our thing because we were moving back to my mansion.



~Christine~



Where am I? I heard the clip-clop of horses hooves. I could vaguely remember ice being put on my face and Raoul singing softly to me. I opened my eyes and looked above me. I was laying out on a bench of a carrage and my head was resting on Raoul's lap and he was gently stroking my hair saying to him self what I have done, what have I done? He was looking off into the distance with a far off look. My face hurt so much, but why? I could remember Raoul knocking on my door and comforting me and fragments of everything else.

"Oh, your awake my love." Raoul said to me as if I had been dying and came back to life.

"Yes dear, where are we going? What has happened?" I asked I put my hand up to my face and it stung.

Raoul's face looked as if he was in pain. He softly traced his finger along my face. I felt a chill through out my body. What was making him so sad?

"What's wrong?" I asked

"Nothing love, don't worry. We're going to my house. It takes about two hours to get there." Raoul said

"Why Raoul? Why do I feel so weak, why does my face hurt?" I asked

He looked shocked.

"Don't you remember?" he said eyebrows raised

I nodded my head no. What could have happned. I wondered if everything is all right. Moving closer to his body, but he backed up alarmed at my affection. He paused for a moment.



~Raoul~

Don't you remember?" I asked

How could she not remember? I thrashed at her. I struck a lady. My one love. I did so hard she was unconscious for hours, she had a fever and fell in and out of delirium. It was four days. Her fever had finally gone down so I can take her out of the house. I thought to lie to her and never tell her what I did. Maybe in years to come, when she wasn't off dreaming about another man and passions they could possibly had. I will never tell her now when she can go to a man who would never hit her and love her like she deserves.

Christine nodded her head no and moved closer to me. I was taken aback she, showed tenderness to me even though what I have done to her? I had to stop and think for a second.

"You became ill love, fell out of your bed and got that horrible bruise. We're going home now. Where you can get better."

She smiled at me and closed her eyes and snuggled closer to me.

"Now this explains why I feel like this. Don't be frightened Raoul, I'm fine just a little tired. Wake me when we get home."

She thought my expression was because I was worried about her health. How trusting she is, most likely thinking I would never harm her. My face was overcome with hatred towards myself for what I did to her. Thinking she would ever have intimate relations with another man.



The hour had passed quickly. I spent the whole time looking upon her wonderful face. I prayed I hadn't broken her jaw, because it looked horrible. The carriage stopped and my sister Amy stood at the door to greet us. I didn't want to wake Christine so I gently picked up her head from my lap and let her sleep.

Amy walked over with open arms. She stayed in France at my house while I as living in Pairs. Away from her house in England. Amy was four years older than me.

"Raoul! Your here I received your letter days ago. I was expecting you back sooner. Where's Melissa?"

"Who?" I asked she couldn't possibly mean Christine.

"Your sweetheart, the opera girl. And little friend." She said

"Christine is in the carriage sleeping, she took ill." I said not wanting to show any disrespect towards my sister.

"Oh, poor dear. Well, do you want me to get someone to take her to her room, dear."

"No, I'll take her Amy, I don't want her to be alarmed if she was to wake up."

I could scense some distaste from Amy about Christine. I should just ignore it not to make matters worse. I picked Christine up and started to carry her inside. Amy just stood there at the door knowing I needed her to open it.

"Raoul, Raoul, I never thought I'd see the day when my little Raoul would be reduced to servant work. See what she has done to you? An performer, I really thought you would do better than her. I thought your little adolesscent crush on her was it. You really had to be the paton of that Opera. Curse mother for making you love the opera. Raoul everyone's read the papers all the family all the friends. I hope it's gossip I really do. Now I see you doing this I doubt it, I pray I didn't have to lie for you. What are you going to do now? Get the bags?"

What? What was Amy thinking, to say these horrible words. She couldn't possibley mean them, or could she?

"Will you get the door?"

I asked ignoring it more so. She snaped her fingers and had a maid open the door for me.

"Show, them to her room if you please."

The maid opened one of the doors and started to walk in. Amy was looking at Christine as if she was a sickly stray cat I had rescued from the rain and bringing into the house.

"Amy I really do love her."

Her face softened some what. I could only hope it was from knowing what it was like to have a love. Having her husband of five months die of illness.

"Just go Raoul."



The maid had showed us to Christine's room right next to the master bedroom which was mind. There was a door connecting them I smiled at the thought. I lay her down and her face had a smile. Her eyes started to flutter, she was waking up

"Raoul?" she said with barely a wisper.

"Yes love, shhhh go back to sleep." I said

She moved around in her blankets and smiled.

"Raoul, why do you take care of me so much?" she said these words with a smile and fell asleep again.

I must talk to Amy, she can't be like that to Christine. With those words of hers I swore to myself I will protect Christine and keep her from harm as long as I can. I will never mistreat her again or make her pretty face flood with tears again.