PART ONE

"Ugh, I hate Valentine's Day," Lois declared, making a face at the red and white balloons adorning the entrance of the mall. She turned to Chloe and grimaced. "Have I mentioned that? I hate Valentine's Day."

Chloe rolled her eyes, opening the door and holding it open for Lois. "Yes, you have – thirteen times today, to be exact."

"Well, I just want to make sure it sinks in. This is a huge favor I'm doing for you and I don't want you to minimize it, okay?"

"I know – I'm already doing your laundry for a month," Chloe reminded her. She picked up a soft cotton sweater vest and held up thoughtfully. "What about this?"

"You're kidding me, right? No wonder you need my help – you do suck at picking presents." Lois reached out and snatched the sweater from her hands. She dropped it back on the pile distastefully and steered her cousin away from the men's section of the department store.

"Hey, he loves those kinds of sweaters," Chloe replied defensively. "And it's not like I suck at getting presents for girls – just for guys. I can never figure out what they want."

Lois stopped walking and looked at Chloe curiously. "Is that why you didn't get anything for Clark on his last birthday? I was wondering what the whole IOU thing was about."

"Hey, those IOUs are quite expensive you know!" Chloe shot back. Then she started laughing and admitted, "Okay, yeah, I had no clue what to get him. I mean, what could he possibly need?"

Lois shrugged and turned away to look at a case full of watches. "Sometimes it's not about what a person needs. Sometimes a present can just basically say that you're thinking about the person and you care about 'em."

She was so focused on a particular black watch in the case, she missed the speculative look that Chloe was giving her.

"So, is that what the journal meant? That you were thinking about Clark?" Chloe asked, in an off-hand manner. She didn't want to freak Lois out with her line of questioning.

Startled by her words, Lois turned to focus on her. Her eyes widened in horror at the implication of Chloe's casual remark. "God no – I just got that for him because I couldn't think of anything else. When all else fails, get something affiliated with writing – you should have gotten him a pen."

"So you're saying that you would have gotten anyone a leather journal, with their initials monogrammed on the cover, for a birthday present? It had nothing to do with Clark, at all?" Chloe asked, with a raised brow. She didn't bother to hide that she didn't believe Lois's assertion that the present was meaningless.

Lois didn't bat an eyelash. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you. Journals are the gifts of choice for Lanes everywhere. You're gonna be getting one for your birthday, too."

With that, Lois walked closer to the make-up counter and picked up a lipstick, opening the cap to examine the color closely.

Chloe shook her head, grinning ruefully. She wasn't going to get anything out of Lois, now. She tried one last thing. "Well, it may have been a generic gift, but Clark really liked it. He's already used up half of it. You'll probably want to get him another one for his next birthday."

It worked. The lipstick clattered to the glass counter and Lois whipped around to face her. "He's been using it? Great."

"Yeah," Chloe nodded, amused by the interest in Lois's eyes. "But you didn't hear that from me. That's actually why you're helping me today, too."

Lois looked confused at the abrupt change in topic. "Ah… because Clark's writing in his journal?"

"No, because you managed to get a guy a present he actually liked. So, you gotta help me!! This is my first Valentine 's Day with a boyfriend and I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Relax, Chlo," Lois responded immediately. She dropped her arm around Chloe and gave her quick hug. "We'll find something. Jimmy's just lucky that he's got you – the present is just icing on the cake."

"Keep talking," Chloe replied cheekily. "You are fantastic for my ego. That's another reason you're here."

"Glad I could help," Lois said dryly. "Since I can't keep my own love life straight, the least I can do is help you with yours."

"Oh, Lois, I totally forgot." Chloe looked at her guiltily. "Is this too weird for you after breaking up with Oliver?"

Lois shrugged and shook her head. "It's okay – me not being with Oliver has nothing to do with my irrational hatred of Valentine's day. Even if I was with him, I was still going to be sitting at home."

Chloe highly doubted that. Knowing her cousin's ex-boyfriend, Oliver wouldn't have let Lois get away with that. He would have done something charming, romantic and over-the-top. And there was no way Lois didn't realize that. Chloe contemplated Lois for a second and came to a quick decision.

"Why don't you come with me and Jimmy?" Chloe suggested. "For dinner? I don't want you sitting at home alone tonight."

Lois glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, with an amused grin. "You want me to be the third wheel on your Valentine's date? With, as you put it, the first boyfriend you've ever had? What's wrong with you?"

"There is nothing wrong with me," Chloe replied, with an answering grin. She trailed after Lois as they exited the department store into the main mall. "I just happen to love you more than I care about Jimmy. I'm not going to have you sitting at home by yourself, moping into a pint of Ben & Jerry's, while I'm out having fun."

"Well, that would never happen. I'm not the moping into Ben & Jerry's type," Lois pointed out. "I more of the 'let's go run five miles' type."

Chloe eyed Lois's tall, svelte figure critically. "So that's why you've lost weight! I was wondering."

Lois glanced down at her jeans and green t-shirt. "I have? Well that's a great bonus – I should break up with hot billionaires more often."

Lois looked around and noticed a stall selling various perfumes and colognes. "How about some cologne or after-shave? It's a nice generic boyfriend present." She picked up a bottle and uncorked it. Taking a tentative sniff, she made a face and put it back on the counter.

To appease her, Chloe picked up a bottle and looked at the label. But she didn't give up. "What if I get you a date? Then you won't be a third wheel." Chloe suggested.

Lois snorted. "You're kidding me, right? Any guy that agrees to go out on a blind date tonight -- on Valentine's day -- is definitely a loser. And I'm not in the practice of going out with losers." Lois thought for a second and then amended, "At least, not on purpose. If they turn out to be freaks or serial killers later on, it doesn't count."

Chloe started laughing. "Okay, well… how about Clark?" Before Lois could say anything, Chloe quickly added in a warning tone, "And don't call him a loser."

"Wasn't going to," Lois replied, her innocent words belied by the guilty look in her eyes. "But I will tell you that there is no way I'm going out with Smallville."

"Why not? Give me one good reason why Clark Kent is not someone that would qualify as an excellent date," Chloe challenged her. "He's sweet, he's kind, he's nice, he's honorable and…"

"He's boring, he's boring, he's boring, and he's boring," Lois interjected. Chloe glared at her and Lois's tone softened. "Look, for what it's worth, I agree with you. Clark's a great guy. And he will make someone very happy one day. But I'm not the one it's gonna be, Chloe. He's not the sort of guy I want and I'm positive that I'm not the sort of girl he wants."

"And what sort of girl would that be?" Chloe asked sharply.

"I'll give you hint – the initials are L.L. and they don't stand for Lois Lane," Lois shot back sarcastically.

"Oh, you mean Lana," Chloe responded in a bored tone. She picked up another bottle and sprayed a bit of the cologne on a tester paper. "He's over her. It took over a decade, but it's finally happened." She gave a Lois a theatrically tortured look. "Trust me, I know. If there is anyone who knows the way Clark Kent feels about Lana Lang, it's me. Unfortunately."

Lois couldn't help but grin at that. "That's fine. But I'm still not going out with him – it doesn't change the fact that Clark and I aren't compatible. We're just friends, Chloe."

"But you could be so much more," Chloe argued. "I see these guys you go out with and all I can think is that there's this great guy right there and you won't even let yourself look at him properly."

"I look at him fine, Chloe. And I don't really think that there's much more to see," Lois answered in an amused tone. Her cousin's blatant attempts to set her up with Clark were becoming kind of funny.

Chloe gave her an odd look. "There's a lot more to Clark than you could realize, Lois. And that's part of the reason I want you guys to come with us tonight. Clark needs to get out, too. It'll be good for both of you to have an excuse to dress up, go out and have fun. We're all friends – don't you think hanging out with us tonight could be even a little bit better than exercising all night?"

"Well…it wasn't going to be all running – there was a hot bath and good mystery novel in there, too," Lois responded with a teasing grin. She blew her bangs out of her eyes and made a decision she knew she would regret later. "But, okay, fine – if it'll make you happy then I'll do it. Just as along as it's understood that it's not a date – we're just doing it for you."

"Perfect!" Chloe beamed at her happily. "Now I just have to convince Clark."

"Wait – you didn't talk to him, yet?" Lois asked, appalled. "So, there's a chance he'll say no? Great, Chloe – that is not going to be good for my ego."

"Oh, he won't say no," Chloe assured her. "Trust me."

Lois's brows shot up in surprise and she gave Chloe a quizzical look. Before Lois could get Chloe to explain how she was so certain that Clark would say yes, Chloe had turned away from her and was holding up a beautifully cut glass bottle. It looked hand-blown and was gorgeous.

"What's that?" Lois gazed at the bottle, riveted by its beauty. "Even if the perfume smells bad, we should still get it – it's gorgeous."

Chloe nodded and gently removed the top, sniffing at the contents experimentally. Her eyes lit up. "It smells great. Lois, check it out."

Chloe thrust the bottle under her nose and Lois inhaled deeply. "Yeah, it does smell fantastic. You have to get it." Lois plucked it out of her hands and called out to the high schooler managing the cash register. "Hey, how much does this cost?"

"I don't know – just check the bottom," he said sullenly.

Lois flipped it over and saw that it had no price. "There's no sticker."

The tall, lanky boy slid off the stool, clearly irked that he had to exert himself to help a customer. He came closer to get a better look at the bottle. "Oh yeah, this one is five hundred bucks."

"Five hundred dollars?" Chloe gasped. "What's so special about it?"

"It's made by this weird guy that owns his own apothecary in downtown Metropolis," the kid explained, perking up at a chance to gossip. "All of his stuff is more expensive, because he makes these things with special flowers and herbs." He leaned closer to them. "They say that no two of his perfumes are the same and that he knows how to do magic."

Lois and Chloe exchanged a look and both rolled their eyes at the same time.

"I think the only magic the guy's pulling off is making money disappear from people's wallets," Lois responded, with a raised brow. She carefully set the perfume back on the counter. "No thanks – we'll pass."

The two girls walked away, deep in conversation about what to get Jimmy and didn't notice the young, dark-haired woman that had come up to the teenage boy.

"Did you get it, Max?" The young woman glanced from right to left to make sure that no one was listening in on their conversation.

"Yeah, Justine, I got it," he answered, pulling a brown paper bag out from under the counter. He handed it to her nervously. "I did everything you wanted, but I still don't understand how you're going to use it. You'll never get that close to Lex Luthor."

His sister pulled the multi-colored bottle out the bag and stared at with a triumphant gleam in her icy blue eyes. "I don't need to get close to him – I just need to be in the same place as him. Every Valentine's day he goes to the exact same restaurant with his date, at the exact time. He's got a standing reservation. There's a private room just for him and his victim." Justine looked at Max coldly. "We're going to take advantage of that private room."

Max nodded quickly, glad that his sister hadn't gone off on a tangent about how Lex had dumped her the day after Valentine's. It had been four years, but the wound was still fresh – and she'd never let him forget it, either.

"Okay, what do you need me to do?" Max asked, desperately hoping that whatever she intended to this with perfume would make her finally get over it and move on. "I'll do whatever you want."

"I know you will," Justine gave him one of her fleeting smiles. "You're going release the perfume into the vent that feeds into the private room. The perfume should travel all over the room, and I'm going to make sure he's completely alone when the chemical hits. So, I'll be the first person he sees while he's under the influence of the perfume. He won't be able to resist me after that. The potion only lasts twenty four hours, but I'll just keep making sure I keep spraying more on every day."

"But what about his girlfriend? Lana Lang?" Max asked, with a confused look. "Won't she be there?"

Justine abruptly stopped looking happy. "I've taken care of her – the server that's going to sneak you and me into the restaurant has a crush on her. He'll distract her for us."

"Wow, Justine," Max said admiringly. "You thought of everything."

"I know," she replied smugly. Justine put the bottle back into the bag and handed it to Max. "Remember – you need to meet me with this at the back of Chez Alice at eight o'clock. Don't be late!"

"I won't," Max promised. As his sister stalked away, he had a moment of misgiving about the plan, but quickly dismissed it. After all, his sister came first. And if his sister managed to get Lex Luthor to fall madly in love with her, Max would definitely benefit – it wouldn't hurt to have a billionaire as a brother in law, after all.