Title: Hottest Couple of the Year

Summary: Oneshot. When Abby feels the need to come up with a celebrity couple name for Jenny and Gibbs, she and Tony explain this certain American custom to Ziva.

Disclaimer: The usual – I don't own NCIS, blah blah blah.

A/N: I thought the concept was hysterical, and I love making up celebrity couple names. I'm also a little wired on caffeine.

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"What?"

Abby's face flushed excitedly. "You heard me, McGee."

"I heard you too," Ziva said, "but I'm not sure I quite understand this. Is it an American custom?"

Tony wagged his head. "Ziva, Ziva, Ziva – you have so much to learn about us Americans and our strange ways! You see," he put on that let-me-tell-you-about-the-birds-and-the-bees voice, "when two celebrities love each other very very much, the tabloids give birth to a love child."

Abby, who had conveniently made a slideshow to go along with this lecture, clicked her mouse. Images of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie appeared on-screen.

"Case in point," Tony concluded. "Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie – God she's gorgeous. Anyway, Ziva, what do you think the press call them?"

"I can't begin to guess," she said dryly.

"Haha!" He pointed to the screen as Abby made the name flash above their pictures' heads. "Brangelina!"

McGee shook his head sadly. "I hate the tabloids. They print no news of any value."

"McGee!" Abby said, shocked. "They do so!"

"Like what?"

Abby whipped out a copy of The Inquirer. In bold red letters the headline read, MOTHER GIVES BIRTH TO TWO-HEADED ELVIS CLONE! ALIEN FATHER CREATES NEW CROP CIRCLES TO HERALD THE BIRTH OF THE ELVIS CHRIST!

Ziva's eyes widened. "Ah…"

McGee's jaw dropped. "What the hell?"

Even Tony looked freaked. "Um, Abbs, that's not exactly what I was going for…"

"What?" Abby looked at the cover. "Oops, that's not the one I meant to pull out." She tossed The Inquirer aside and pulled out People. On the cover there was a picture of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony with words reading: J-LO MAKING HER NEW HOME IN SPLITTSVILLE?

"Perfect," Tony beamed. "Come on, Zeeevahhh. You can't tell me that you don't think that's interesting."

"But I don't."

"LIES!" Tony bellowed. "Come on, McGiggle! Tell me I've struck a chord with this!"

"I'd be lying through my teeth if I said that were true, Tony."

Abby pouted. "Tony, I don't think I'm going to let Tim see my new tattoo."

"Good call, Abbs!" Tony smirked at McGee for a moment before asking her, "Hey, did you Photoshop that fake magazine cover I asked you to?"

Abby smiled widely. "YEAH! It was so much fun, Tony, and it looks sooooooo good!"

"Let me see! Let me see! Put it up on the plasma!"

Abby hit a button and it popped up – a giant People cover with a picture of Gibbs and the Director emblazoned on it. The caption read JENTHRO: TOGETHER AGAIN??

Tony gasped in awe as Abby beamed and Ziva and McGee edged away from them. "Abby – you're like a technology goddess."

"But it was your idea! It was genius, Tony!"

"I'd hate to see your idea of brilliance," someone quipped smoothly from behind them.

"And I thought they couldn't get any more stupid," another voice rumbled.

Abby and Tony slowly turned around, the hairs on the backs of their necks standing on end. As expected, there stood Gibbs and Jenny, their arms crossed, looking expectantly at the two of them.

"Having fun, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.

"Ah, no, Boss. I was just telling Abby that this sort of mischief is totally inappropriate," Tony lied.

Abby headslapped him. "Liar! Gibbs, Director, I swear it was all Tony's fault!"

Tony glared at her. "Now who's the liar?"

Jenny raised her eyebrows. "Special Agent Gibbs –"

"ALL RIGHT, IT WAS ME TOO!" Abby bawled.

"My, she does break easily."

"You have no idea."

Tony began scooting out of the room. "So, since Abby has just confessed, I'll just get back to work now…"

Gibbs caught him by the collar. "Oh no you don't. Abby said 'too' – it's still your fault."

"Dammit," he grumbled.

Jenny tapped her chin. "So, Special Agent Gibbs – what are fitting punishments for these two?"

"Hm…" He looked at Tony. "You. Call everyone in the phonebook under "Joe Brown" and ask them if they know a Stan Cooper."

"Boss! That's got to be like a thousand people!" Tony protested.

Glare. "Then I suggest you get to it."

Tony slunk out of the lab. Gibbs and Jenny turned back to Abby. "Now, as for Miss Scuito?" Jenny asked.

"Abby."

She turned to Gibbs.

"You are forbidden to hug anybody for the next week."

Her face fell. "What if-"

"Nope."

"Or-"

"No."

"But-"

"Still no, Abby."

Abby's bottom lip trembled. "O-okay."

"And delete that damn magazine cover!" Gibbs called over his shoulder as he and Jenny left.

Abby frowned. Fine. She'd delete it, but only after she e-mailed it to herself.

And everyone else in the office.

-Fin-

A/N: Lmfao. Jenthro. I love writing random fics like this. XD