Fic Title: Hands

Author: I Love NASCAR

Fandom: SVU, Casey/Elliot

Date: January 2009

Feedback: Constructive criticism or positive only, please.

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Usual disclaimers apply. I own only Cara.

Summary: Aftermath of Night. Elliot visits Casey.

Dedications: Thanks to cmaddict for reading it over for me.

Warnings: Some spoilers of later seasons apply.

Olivia Benson watched her partner, his anger at the boiling point. She knew he'd had problems since the divorce, but he'd been getting better, until that night. She remembered going to get coffee and coming back, thinking Casey was gone, but finding her friend beaten badly. She'd ridden with Casey in the ambulance and, at night, relieved John Munch who was acting as a self-imposed bodyguard until they caught her attacker. Even their captain, Donald Cragen, and Odafin Tutuola had been by to see Casey; everyone, in fact, except for Elliot. She knew him well enough to know it wasn't because he didn't care, but, until that moment, studying him as he stood there, she hadn't realized the reason he didn't want to see Casey was because he cared too much. Elliot had observed many women, including her, be injured over the years, but never quite reacted this way…until now.

Elliot Stabler looked at the picture on his desk, not the one of his kids, but the one next to it that was taken at the last Christmas party. He was standing between Casey and Olivia, two of his favorite women, and there was no sign of the ugliness and stress they dealt with on a daily basis, but laughter all around. He loved that picture, both for the women in it for it and for what the picture represented. Their work had cut Olivia so many times, taking pieces of her soul, and he hadn't been able to protect her, but, until the other night, he always thought that Casey might be the one to escape the curse of working in or with their unit. He wanted so badly to sit beside her, hold her hand, protect her, but all he could do was keep pushing to find the one who had hurt her.

"Buy me a hot dog," Olivia whispered, putting her hand on his shoulder.

He gave her a faint half-smile, standing, walking out with her. "What?" He questioned, barely out the door.

"Can't a girl just want a hot dog?" She knew if she looked over at him she would see what she called the 'parent look' that he gave not only to his kids but to her as well. "Take a break, El."

"And do what? Go on a cruise? Twiddle my thumbs?" He paused. "Kathy's got the kids, so there's no use going home. I really want to catch this bastard, Liv. I really do."

"When's the last time you slept?" She knew she sounded like a concerned mother, but she didn't care.

"When's the last time you did? John told me you've been dropping by the hospital when you get off." He couldn't connect the hospital with Casey aloud; somehow as long as he didn't say what had happened, it didn't hurt as much.

"I'm sleeping there." She paused, turning to face him, but still walking. "She went home last night, Elliot. You wouldn't even have to go to the hospital. I'd even drive you."

He shook his head. "She doesn't want to see anyone."

"Who the hell said that? Cragen, Fin, John, and I have all seen her."

"So I'm the bad guy for not going, right? It's my fault. You're just like Kat…" He stopped himself before he went too far, standing still, looking away and then back at her. "I didn't mean that, Liv."

Ordinarily, she would have gone after him tooth and nail for saying something like that, but these weren't ordinary times. "I didn't say it was your fault, El." She paused. "Look, if you don't want to go, don't go. But if you do, let's get in the car right now. I'll drive you."

He smiled, a real one this time, although it was small. "Anyone ever tell you that you're a great partner?"

She smiled at the compliment and the small action seemed foreign to her too. "Takes one to know one." She paused. "So you want me to drive?"

"No. I should be back in a couple of hours. Cover for me." She nodded, watching him leave, hoping it made things better for both him and Casey.

*****

Elliot shifted the items he was holding as he struggled to shut the car door without dropping anything. There was more shifting as he pushed the elevator door and waited for her floor. Almost as soon as the elevator doors opened, he could hear the screams. Munch opened the door for him, looking frazzled, but not talking, taking the items from his hands, allowing Elliot to go to where Casey was having a nightmare on the couch. He comforted her as he had Olivia or his children when they'd had nightmares until she finally saw him there. "Elliot."

"You're okay, Case," he whispered, gently moving some of her hair out of the cuts and bruises on her face, rubbing her back softly until her breathing returned to almost normal. "You're okay."

She nodded, her blue eyes never leaving his own, holding his hands, glad he was finally there. They heard Munch talking to someone in the other room and she closed her eyes, trying not to cry. "Cara. God. You'd think I've scared her enough for one day."

"She'll understand one day, Casey. She's worried about you right now. She's going through something different, but she's strong and stubborn, like her mom. She'll be all right." He hoped he was helping her.

"Did you find who it was?" Casey asked, her eyes searching for something inside of him.

He shook his head, hating this part. "No. Not yet. But I promise that we won't stop until we catch him, okay?"

She nodded, trusting him, as she usually did. Her eyes turned to where Munch was standing in the doorway, carrying her daughter, Cara. "See. I told you. Your mom just had a bad dream, munchkin. She's okay."

"Really?" This was directed to Casey instead of Munch.

"Really, baby. I just had a bad dream, like you do sometimes." Munch carried the girl over and let her hug Casey; both men noticing the wince but saying nothing. "What are you and Uncle Munch playing?"

"Chutes and Ladders," Munch answered.

"I'm beatin' him!" Cara said, taking as much joy in beating her favorite 'uncle' at the child's game as Casey did in winning cases.

"Yay!" Casey kissed her daughter's forehead, letting her get down. "Beat him once for me, okay?" The little girl laughed and went back to her room, Munch following. "He's been a lifesaver. I don't know what I'd do if Cragen hadn't given him this time off. I couldn't have managed her alone right now."

"Casey…where's her father?" Elliot asked the question he'd been wanting to for years.

She paused, looking away, and then back, changing the subject. "Olivia's been great too. It's been good to have a girl friend around."

He felt guilty for not being around for her and for bringing up an obviously tough subject for her. "Have you eaten?"

She shook her head. "Cragen brought some soup, but I'm not sick. I don't like soup unless I'm sick."

He smiled again. "I brought you something." He went to the kitchen to locate the items that Munch had taken when he'd came inside, bringing them back to her. "Hamburgers," he slightly shook the bag from her favorite fast food restaurant, the one guilty pleasure she allowed herself, "And I got some flowers."

"Blue hyacinths." She smiled. "My favorites. Thank you." She sat up, smelling them as he put them by the table near the couch.

He sat down next to her and they ate their hamburgers, sharing an order of fries, drinking soft drinks. She stopped a few bites into her burger and he studied her for a moment before asking, "Are you okay?"

She heard the laughter of her little girl in her bedroom and knew Cara couldn't hear what she was about to say. "You asked about her father."

"I know. I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

She held up a hand to silence him. "I need to tell you something. I need to say it in my own way. In my own time. When I'm through…then you can talk."

He nodded, wanting to stroke her cheek, but too afraid he would hurt her, so he held her hand instead, listening to her as she began. "I was engaged once, in law school. His name was Charlie and I thought…I thought he hung the moon." He nodded, remembering the early days with Kathy. "He was schizophrenic. We tried everything, but nothing worked. We ended it." She paused, tears starting to fall silently down her face. "A couple nights later, he came over. He was out of control." There was a long silence and he thought maybe she was finished talking before she began again. "He attacked me. The cops were called. Nine months later, Cara was born."

"Casey…" He was speechless, unsure what to say. Suddenly everything he'd wondered about was very clear. He wanted to ask if she'd told any of the others, but he didn't dare, already knowing the answer. She had shared something very private of herself with him and, while it was never anything he'd wanted to know, he was glad she'd told him the truth.

"I didn't tell you that for you to feel sorry for me. I told you because…I don't know. I just…I needed for you to know."

He nodded, his eyes on her. "That nightmare…it wasn't about this, was it."

"Not totally." She took another bite of her hamburger and he sat with her, still holding her hand.

*****

Olivia was relieved to see some of the weight lifted off of her partner's shoulders, but the determination still fired in his eyes. "El?"

"Let's catch this bastard." She smiled slightly, nodding, and turning back to their work.