CLONING BLUES

-Author's Notes-

ORIGINAL CHARACTERS DO NOT STEAL (TM)

Joking aside, please view my profile and PM me if you wish to use any original characters within this fanfic. Thank you.

Chapter 1: Fire Hose for a Tongue

It was a peaceful day in the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario and Peach were walking together in the forest just outside of Toad Town. Normally, she'd be accompanied by guards, but Mario alone was enough, and besides, he didn't have much else to do on a Saturday. The trees in this particular part weren't too dense; one flying in an airplane could see someone moving about within.

The two happened to pass a warp pipe, of which the other end's location was unknown. It was clearly visible from the sky.

"Isn't this such a lovely day, Mario?" Peach asked.

"It is. So, how goes things in the kingdom?" Mario responded.

"A mix of boring, nothing special, and Toadsworth nagging."

"Ah... Toadsworth nagging. He tends to do that a lot, doesn't he?"

"Hey, wait, what's that up in the sky?"

Peach pointed up at a vaguely boat-shaped object heading straight for the Mushroom Kingdom. There appeared to be more following it.

"... Airships? Oh, not again!" Mario said.

"Bowser attempted a kidnapping last week! Why is he doing it again so soon?" Peach said.

"I don't know. But we need to hide. Who knows if someone up there can spot us?"

But in one of those airships (specifically, Bowser's), Lemmy Koopa was playing with the binoculars instead of trying to spot Peach.

"Whoa... everything looks so biiiiiig..."

"LEMMY! Stop playing with those binoculars! You know what they're supposed to be used for!"

"(Geez, Bowser, we're not even near the castle yet. Loosen up already.)"

I guess we now know how one plumber can defeat an entire army of anthropomorphic turtles.

Back in the forest...

"Hey, Mario, where does that pipe lead to?" Peach asked.

"I... don't know," Mario said. "In fact, I don't even remember seeing it before."

"Well, there's only one way to find out!" Peach said, jumping into the warp pipe.

"Oh well. What can possibly go wrong?" Mario said, following her.

Mario and Peach came out the other end of the pipe. The location appeared to be reminiscent of Kero Sewers.

"A... sewer? Well. They won't look for us in here, will they?"

"I wouldn't say that. Maybe we can escape through Midas Falls if we manage to avoid-"

"AAAAIIEE!" Peach screamed as she was suddenly pulled back into the maw of a certain yellow and red, four-eyed, dog-faced monster.

"Belome! Let her go!" Mario said, jumping and applying his hammer directly to Belome's forehead. The beast spat her out in recoil.

"Ack! And I thought I could sneak a snack!" Belome said. "We've met before, haven't we? I recall tasting you before. Maybe you recall this trick?"

Belome concentrated for a brief second, ejecting a clone of Peach out of his... well, some things are best left not thought about too much.

"More clones? You need new tricks, Belome."

"Oh, but why learn new ones when old ones can be polished? Surely you've noticed they're getting better! Ah... all this talking is making me hungry. Bon appetit!"

The Peach clone immediately singled out her source material, kicking at her face. Meanwhile, Mario and Belome went solo against each other.

Peach vs. Peach Clone

Peach quickly dodged her clone. The doppelganger refused to let up, going for a barrage of kicks.

"(Better? This thing's a nut!)" Peach thought to herself. "(But... if Mallow could cast Psychopath on one and reveal its thoughts... maybe they can make conscious decisions. And if this one is better than the ones in the Belome Temple... perhaps it could be reasoned with?)"

Peach grappled the clone's leg and wrapped around into a bear hug. She wasn't very physically strong, but by extension her clone wasn't either.

"Stop!" Peach shouted. "Why are you doing this?"

"There can only be one Peach Toadstool," she said. "Your turn's over."

"What?" Peach asked, dodging another kick. "So... you seriously think that killing me will make you the pure-hearted princess of the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"Yes!"

"Wow, you're dense. Since when is murder a hallmark of being pure of heart?"

"Dense? Why... "

The clone mused about that for a few seconds.

"You're right, that doesn't make sense. I'll just let father eat you then."

"But eating live people... that's wrong!"

"Well, at least I won't be doing it."

"(She seems smart enough, but she's mindlessly loyal to him. Looks like I have no choice...) Well, it was nice talking to you, but I don't really want to be eaten."

"Too bad!" the clone said, attacking her again. But Peach didn't hold back this time, countering the blow. The two went into a stalemate, failing to do much damage to the other until Mario got involved.

Mario vs. Belome

Belome found Mario to be a formidable foe. The plumber could counter his tongue by jumping, and lob fireballs at him from a distance. So Belome stopped trying to eat him and instead tried tackling him. But Mario jumped over that too, throwing fireballs at the beast's behind. Belome's tail even started to catch fire.

"TOO MUCH HOT SAUCE!" Belome cried, running into nearby water that wasn't particularly clean. The current was too strong for him to fight off, so he could only watch as he drifted away from the prey he failed to catch.

"Curse you, Mario! I'll be back for secoooooonnnnddsss!" Belome yelled as he drifted from plain view.

"Huh...?" the clone said, turning towards Belome as he disappeared. "No! Belome! Come back! I can't help you eat them if you aren't here!"

She ran towards the water flow, only to be caught by Peach.

"Hhh! Let me go!" The clone said, trying to break free.

"Peach, what have we here?"

"Never mind, shouldn't we be—hey!"

The clone broke free of Peach's grasp and fled through the pipe the two had came through.

"What an idiot," Mario said. "She fled through the pipe we entered to hide from the airships!"

"Let's go after her!"

"... Well, we can't let her cause a ruckus. Let's go inside quietly, and wait just inside the lip of the pipe to make sure no one's around."

So Mario and Peach entered the pipe and, forcing each other against the pipe wall, listened carefully.

"We got her, your wretchedness! She was a feisty one, so we tied her up and taped her mouth shut."

"Muahahahaha! Excellent! Now let's go back and raise our defenses so Mario doesn't win her back this time."

"So they actually got her..." Peach whispered. "And they think she's me."

"Well, this is an interesting turn of events."

"What if he finds out who she actually is?"

"Hmm... point taken. But let's discuss this with Toadsworth first..."