Ever since I wrote "Right Here Waiting," which explored Seth's feelings while Jessica was away, I've wanted to write a similar story from Jessica's POV. And... here's the result! Inspired by the beautiful song "He Needs Me" from Mrs. Santa Claus, this one-shot portrays Jessica's thoughts while she is separated from Seth, and just how much they really need each other.
How do you do it?
It's a question I'm frequently asked, and it has a variety of meanings attached. How do you keep up the quality of your work? How do you keep your writing fresh and original every time? How do you reconcile fame and glamor with life in ordinary little Cabot Cove? How do you manage to live on your own without someone to need you?
Ah, that question. I answer that one honestly, but I also make no bones about the fact that my private life is just that, private. My status as a widow was quickly established when my first book (to my great surprise) became successful, but still, human nature being what it is, people love to speculate about my love life. Oh yes, there have been rumors over the years, from my dying of loneliness to so-called "torrid affairs" with young men I barely know. I simply shake it all off. People will talk as they are wont to do, but those who know me well know better.
It's true that I live on my own and managed to rebuild my life after Frank died, but that bit about no one needing me? That is not true, not for an instant. I don't know one person on this Earth that doesn't need someone in their lives, or who needs someone to need them in return. We all need to be loved and to have someone to love. It's that constant in our lives that keeps us healthy, whole, and sane whenever things seem absolutely hopeless. We need the love of family and, now and then, of one special person whom we can't live without.
For me, that person is my dear friend Seth Hazlitt. I've said numerous times that I don't know what I would do if he wasn't in my life to keep me on an even keel, and he does. Hopeless realist that he is, Seth is blunt to the point of sounding arrogant and downright grouchy sometimes, but I know him so well that I can see beyond that. I know that the man behind the grump is warm, strong, loyal, funny, and gentle – yes, you heard me, gentle. Right after Frank, Seth is the gentlest man I have ever known. He might criticize my chess strategy and my tendency to work too hard now and then, but he would never do anything to hurt me. Of all the men I know, he's the one I know for sure that I can trust. If it weren't for his love and friendship, I think I would have gone crazy ages ago. It's for those reasons and more that I need him in my life.
Right now, I'm far away from the comfort of my home in Cabot Cove, on yet another book tour. Considering that I'm staying in the Royal Hawaiian in Honolulu, I should be sleeping like a baby tonight. But I'm not in my bed – it's late at night and I'm taking a walk along the beach, praying that the exercise will make me sleepy. It's a lovely night: waves breaking along the shore, a cool breeze blowing, hundreds of stars twinkling above me. As I gaze up at them, I wonder if Seth is looking up at the same stars, over 6,000 miles away in Maine. I wonder if he knows I'm thinking of him, just as I'm sure he thinks of me.
The truth is, I miss him. Often when I go to such beautiful places, I wish he was here to share it with me. Despite complaining about tourists and whatnot, he would enjoy himself deep down, just as long as we're together. I miss his company, but more than anything, I miss his laughter. Hearing his laugh joining mine reminds me that I have something to live for other than my career: a friend who loves me more than words can say and, of all the friends I have, is the one who will never leave me when I need him the most.
A falling star suddenly streaks across the sky, and I feel such a sense of joy welling within me. When I was a little girl, my Grandma Moyna always told me that every time a star fell from the heavens, it meant that someone you loved was calling for you. While Frank was still alive, I knew that a falling star was Frank needing me… and now, those falling stars tell me that Seth needs me.
Funny how it always seems to happen right at the end of my trips. Grandma also said that God has a sense of humor when it comes to His children, and I believe it. He's telling me it's time to go home, to where I belong and to the one who needs me. When I hear that call in my heart, I'll go, and not just because I need to go home. There's a bond of love between Seth and me that can't be quenched or drowned, and time has proven that it's stronger than even death. Seth needs me, but honestly? I need him much more.