This is an Ah, My Goddess Fan Fiction Only.

I guess most stories start the same way, at the beginning. Why should mine be any different? I have to admit that I always wondered why in all of the hell did someone name me Keiichi of all things, I mean it, I have no clue why did my parents name me this, or why in all of the hell is wrong with me.

I guess you are wondering why I kept mentioning the fiery underworld so many times and so casually, well believe it or not I am a demon, a complete failure of a demon truth be told, but a demon never the less. I guess I should stop stalling and tell you my story.

In hell every demon is educated, yes there are schools in hell, even universities, don't interrupt, as I was saying the demons are educated, trained and tested, depending on their powers and skill a class is assigned, and a type of license is granted, you can tell immediately how powerful a demon is by the marks that appear on him or her when they first obtain their license, and some even get promoted.

If you see a woman with a killer figure with a star-shaped mark on her head, there is only one thing you should do, after you are done picking your jaw off the floor, and that is run, run for your life, and don't turn back, ever, cause that would be the undisputed ruler of hell, a woman named Hild.

As I said I am a demon, and I am a fairly powerful one at that, I have the highest license in all of the hell, or at least I did, I was a demon class one, which is the highest, goes from three to one if I remember my class classification correctly, and I had an unlimited license, which means no restrictions on my power whatsoever.

Pretty good by the sound of it, except here comes my shame, I am actually a failure, as a demon I am supposed to tempt the souls of mortals, inflict pain, anguish and horror upon them, but there is something terribly wrong with me, I am one of the most merciful demons in all of the hell.

Oh don't get me wrong, put me in front of a genocidal maniac, and I will torture that person till he or she wished their own demise, make no mistake I will torture and make them feel all the pain and suffering they caused on the innocent times a million and never feel bad about it. In fact that it was one of my favorite things to do.

The problem is that there aren't that many of them born in the human world, so demons tend to look for any human, they aren't that picky on who they hurt, and inflict horrors too, me on the other hand, I just can't-do it. Innocent humans, even right down stupid ones I can't-do it, no matter how many times I tried, the feeling of guilt and sadness that even thinking about it, would stop me every time.

My friend and coworker Mara used to make fun of me being as soft-hearted as the people in heaven, our constant rivals for human souls the gods of heaven never liked those of my kind, well there was that one time Hild had a daughter with one of them, she was half demon and to make matters worse, and her very angry, she decided to become a goddess.

Here I go off topic again, let's not stall the story anymore, today I was told to report to Hild, no doubt she is angry with my lack of acquiring more souls for hell, my poor demonic work performance is an issue that often gets me to meet her more and more. Some even kid, that lousy Mara, that actually I don't do my job well just to have an excuse so I can spend more time with Hild by myself.

Hild is beautiful don't get me wrong, when she is in a good mood, she actually is a very nice person to spend time with, but since this was about my poor work performance she was calling me for, she was not in a good mood, and she was scary when she was in a really foul mood.

"So Keiichi do you have any idea why I called for you?" I swear the way she dresses leaves little to the imagination, had I not know better, I would say she called me to have me sleep with her, but I do know better than to say that. Alright, I know better because the only time I said that to her she beat me three feet into the ground.

"I imagine you are not happy with my results in the human realm." She actually got off her throne and walked over to me, she was actually smiling, "I do love an intelligent response like that, how is it that one of my most powerful demons has such pathetic results, that I could never figure out."

"I torture you, I cause you humiliations, I even denied you food for an entire year, and you still can't be motivated to do your job properly. Keiichi why can't you torture, lure, and bring souls back to our realm like everyone else does? Even Mara brings more souls than you. I don't want to cause you harm, it simply is too depressing for me."

I looked at her and simply told her I could not cause harm to innocent people, I just can't even think about it. "Keiichi, I can't have a demon with such poor work performance in my realm, I just can't it is destroying morale among the other demons, and causing many of them to turn lazy, I am sorry Keiichi but I will simply have to fire you."

I saw her take my license and my face began to hurt till I knew what was happening, my rank was gone, she was really firing me, "You may no longer have a license Keiichi but that does not mean that you lost your abilities, so cheer up, I will not abandon you to live here in shame, instead since you love the humans so much why not live among them. I am sure living among them for an extended period of time will resolve the issue that causes you poor work performance."

So that is how I, a demon, was cast into the world of humans, I was told a home would be prepared for my arrival, and a family so in a case of cosmic humor my new name was Keiichi Morisato or some variable of it, I lived among humans for centuries, each time I died, I would be reborn in again, always with the name Keiichi for some odd reason.

In my current life I am called Keiichi Morisato, and the humans to whom I was born to be very nice, caring, and I truly loved my so-called family, well except my sister who seems to have the best luck in the world, everything that happens to my little sister Megumi, happens to her benefit.

Me on the other hand, to say that bad luck was around me is like saying bad luck was on me. I never bought a lottery ticket, and most of the time my motorcycle either stopped working or flat out didn't start. No matter how much my former realm may try, I will not let this influence me, if the person was innocent, and believe me I would know, I would help that person or people out to the best of my abilities.

That is how I ended up living with my fellow motor club members in the university dorms, the dorms have strict rules, so strict that it made me actually think I was back in my old realm, some would consider them a living hell, but to me, they were actually nice.

We work out together, we take turns making breakfast, and we help each other out, well our senior members pretty much knew my weakness of trying to help others and for some odd reason, I was always stuck with the jobs nobody wanted. I would not complain, having been a demon for so long, they could throw the worst at me, I may look human but I still possessed all my demonic powers and knowledge.

I had to work really hard not to let it show, however, if the people knew that I was not actually human, the outcomes were either I would be treated as an insane person, possessed or treated as an alien invader or that what they called me, none of these had a pleasant outcome. So keeping a low profile became one of my top priorities.

In keeping up with appearances I intentionally answer some of the questions incorrectly or would deliver my written work a little late, and thus I was the second highest grade in the prestigious Nekomi Institute of Technology. The one thing that the club had in common with my old workplace is that it would do anything and everything to obtain funding.

I am not kidding, if the thing had a motor and wheels they would fix it for a fee, at first they did it with a verbal agreement, that always was a disaster, the person would ask to have their means of transportation fixed and once it was fixed they would take off without paying for it. I got so sick and tired of having to chase them down, that I decided to make a special contract for all repairs.

If being a demon taught me anything is a demon contract was not something anyone would ever or should ever try and ignore or fail to fulfill. All repairs were signed in blood, all contracts were read and signed before the club started to work on the person's vehicle of choice.

If a person tried to run away from us and not pay like before, then the contract was breached and as such they would pay alright, or they would suffer untold horrors each night in their dreams, either pay for the repair or never again have a nice night sleep till you paid. That was in the contract, some people thought that we were kidding, I do not joke when it comes to contracts.

Thanks to the contract the club could do all sorts of activities and things to help us learn better, who knew a simple demonic contract would have such pleasant results. I imagine Hild is actually smiling as she watches what I am up to.

I was having a particular bad day since for some odd reason, someone had reminded me that one time I actually tried to form a proper relationship with a human, alright granted at first the thing that attracted me to her is that her family actually designed one of the cars I truly admired and consider my favorite model to study.

The car was a beauty, a true marvel of engineering, but also cause for the company to fail, she was the only heiress of that company and she was quite popular and beautiful, her name is Sayoko Mishima. My human form is not one that anyone would call attractive, I am five foot three inches tall, which pretty much means I am that short.

The fact that the first time I asked her out was to a museum, she flat out rejected and told me the museum was for boring old people, I honestly thought that someone as classy and from such a prestigious family would enjoy something as cultural as an exhibition of classic paintings.

This pretty much spread throughout the institute and caused me to be the laughing stock for an entire year. Thanks to my contract it seems my fellow club members also took to going to parties, parties that they would never let me come with them. Something about me made them think that the fact that I was there would kill the fun at any party.

"Keiichi, we are all going to a party tonight, and so since you are staying to man the fort, we decided to leave you a list of things to do so that you don't get bored." They all left laughing, I guess I should really tell them off, but then again, I don't mind helping them one bit anyway, helping innocent humans was actually something that made me feel good.

I began my list of chores, I had to return some videos, but then again I had to pay the late fee anyway, I simply could not deny helping a little girl find her lost wallet. Cleaned, brushed, helped them do their laundry, taped the program one of my dorms wanted not to miss, and last but not least answer a call that one of the people in the dorm was waiting for.

All was taken care off and since it was pretty late, I decided to call and order a pizza for dinner. I pressed the buttons but as soon as I did, I tripped and ended up pressing them all several times before I finally was able to get off the floor. For some odd reason, the call was made to some unknown place.

Someone actually picked up the call on the other end, and I had every intention of telling the other person that it was a wrong number and apologize, but that is when I heard the single most beautiful voice on the other side of the line, "This is the Goddess Helpline, wait just a second, I will come to you and take your wish personally."

I can't believe that I actually ended up calling heaven, talk about having bad luck. I never even knew you could call heaven with the phones in the human realm, didn't even know the numbers I pushed as a matter of fact.

Out of the mirror, this blonde haired beauty came out of it, she had a very nice figure, a face that told me she was the nicest person I would ever meet, and a demeanor that spoke that if I had diabetes this person would send me into a sugar coma.

"Allow me to introduce myself, I am Goddess first class, unlimited license, and my name is Belldandy. Now could you please help me get out of the mirror if it is not too much trouble." I did help her get out but as soon as I did, she tripped and ended up causing us both to fall down, and she ended up landing right on top of me.

"I am sorry, are you are right?" I told her that I was fine and helped her stand up. I had little to offer her but I did have some tea leaves, so I decided to offer her some old cookies and a glass of tea.

"Thank you very much for the tea, and helping me, now would you mind telling me your heart's desire?" I can't believe demons said the exact same thing as she just did, I felt this was a tremendous joke. I even could tell she was trying to get a feeling of what I was thinking, I hope she will ignore the fact that I am not human.

"What would a goddess want to know that? What business would a goddess have with a person like me?" She smiled and set down her tea and looked at me almost like she was expecting my questions.

"I am here to fulfill a request by you Mr. Keiichi Morisato. You see we who dwell in heaven have the duty to observe and help all those that live in this realm, and that includes you Mr. Keiichi Morisato. So please do not hold back on my account, please tell me your heart's desire."