Beware this fic has tough issues people face, so don't read if you have these thoughts or just makes you plain uncomfortable! Contact someone, like a counselor or parent that can help you if you think of suicide or any other self-harm. Call 1-800-273-8255 if you're in dire need.
This does not pertain to me, this was just my imagination.
Thanks to my awesome beta Deathsembrace137!
Disclaimer: Me no own Fairy Tail.
Savior Prompt: Lalu week.
The wind whipped my hair across my face, almost slapping me for what I'm about to do. My heart is pumping, my legs are shaking, and my eyes are filling with tears. I'm standing on the ledge that overlooks Magnolia, looking at the lights for the last time. I look to the far edge of town and see the newly remolded guild lively and bursting with energy. The lights twinkle as people walk by, almost like the stars at night. Everybody in town is walking around, going out to dinner with their loved ones, thinking everything is alright with the world. The guild seems to think everything is alright as well as they seem to be hosting a party. I can imagine Cana drinking from a barrel between her legs, Levy trying to concentrate on reading a book, and Natsu and Gray trying to fight in the middle of the dance floor. Mira will be getting everyone's orders while Makarov will be looking at all the girls, probably sporting a massive nosebleed.
What they don't realize is that the world is going to be rocked with the news that "Lucky" Lucy Heartfilia, Celestial Mage of Fairy Tail, killed herself in the dead of night by jumping off the ledge.
They will soon find out why I jumped. If Natsu jumps through my window tonight, or any night after tonight, he will find my letter. Explaining why I jumped. Saying goodbye to everyone. Telling them thank you for all the memories, good and bad. He will cry. He will bring the letter to Fairy Tail, and they will look for my dead body that will surely be a crumbled and broken mess at the bottom of this ledge, a physical representation of my feelings and mentality.
But they will move on. Nobody will remember me for my strength, which is what Fairy Tail is known for. Nobody will remember the mage whose magic was cancelled at the Grand Magic Games. Nor will they remember the girl who could do nothing against Jackal when the Demon Gates attacked. Within a year, nobody will remember me.
Just one more step. One more step, and this pain will go away. I close my eyes. Goodbye.
I try to take the step. I really do. My legs give out before I could move them, making me fall to the ground in a crumbled heap. Hissing in pain as I scrape my knees on the ground I think of the past few months. How I couldn't fight for my own guild, the guild that became my family! I'm worthless! What kind of person can't stand up for their own family?! Yes they love me, but I don't deserve to be called their family! Family should be strong and stand up for each other.
Nobody would understand what I'm feeling. Everyone else is so strong; they wouldn't know how to help me. I wish I could say I want to live for them, but their all moving on with their lives and leaving me behind in strength and in relationships. People are getting together left and right; turns out having our power almost taken away made them realize their feelings. Natsu confessed to Lisanna, Mira confessed to Freed, and Gray accepted Juvia's feelings. I'm starting to feel alone again, and I hate it.
While growing up in the Heartphilia Mansion after Mama died, I had no one. Yeah, the maids and other servants were there, but they had their jobs to keep so they couldn't play with me all day. I remember when I was little while everyone else was asleep, I would break out of my room and climb all the way to the roof. I would just lie down and look at the stars, trying to imagine Mama looking down at me from above. Every night, I would settle down just a little closer to the edge. I was nearly on the edge when I was caught.
~Flashback~
"What are you doing girly?"
"Gah!" I turn around and notice a pretty mermaid behind me with a frown on her face. "Who are you?!"
"Surely you would remember me, the most powerful of spirits in your mother's keys, Aquarius!" The strange woman said as she raised her fist in the air. Thinking she would hit me I shrink back until she notices and lowers her hand. "What are you doing out here child?"
"No one notices me or plays with me, so I come out here to be with my Mama! She's always with me!" I say with a smile on my face. "Aque-aquer-arius? Can I just call you Aqua-san?"
"Yes you may child." This time her face is calm. Why all the mood changes?
"Will you be my friend?" She looks at me weirdly. "If you don't want to that's fine! Daddy said I shouldn't have friends anyways because they will keep me from studying how to be a proper lady, or whatever that means."
"Child, you don't even have to ask. I will always be your friend." I run up to her and give her a big hug. My first friend! "You aren't alone anymore. So don't sit so close to the edge now, ya hear?"
~Flashback end~
Aquarius always came out at night after that, always playing with me. She came out on her own power until I was strong enough to call her out on my own. She was my first friend. The only reason why she acts like a bitch now is because I had a new family, new friends, and new life. So she kept rubbing in my face that she had a boyfriend. She did anything she could just to make me fall back in her arms again and ask her to keep me safe.
Even with these thoughts running through my head I can't feel the helplessness clawing at my heart. The powerlessness I feel is too much and I can't go on much longer. I get to my feet as I wage a war within my heart.
"Jump. No one will remember you."
"What are you talking about?! Everyone will miss and cry for you! Stop this now!"
"Jump. Your other self is lying. No one ever cared for you."
"Think of your team! Levy! Cana! Wendy! Mira! Master!"
"Don't listen to it. JUMP!"
"DON'T!"
I take the step and I fall. I feel weightless. Powerful even. The wind rushes through my ears like a shrill yell. It's almost like the wind is cushioning me, trying to keep me from falling to an instant death. I spread my arms and relish this feeling.
"LUCY!" What? Who's calling my name? I open my eyes to see a streak of lightening coming my way before I'm caught in midair. We crash into the side of the ledge, him protecting me from the rocks. After we stop sliding down the ledge, he asks, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
"I'm trying to stop this pain! I feel so helpless, just let go of me!" I struggle in my captor's arms, trying to continue my descent towards my death. I fight against the vice-like grip he has on my waist, pulling me to his chest. I kick and punch, yell and gnash my teeth, but he won't let go. Finally I lose my will to fight. I fall limp in his arms, and I feel him shift me into a bridal position before he's traveling with me to Kami knows where. With so much emotion my brain can't handle it and I succumb to the darkness.
"Lucy!"
"Get out of the way!"
"What did you do to her?!"
"I saved her you baka! Wendy, come quick!"
"Get her to the infirmary!"
"I saw her jump…I thought I was too late…"
"I read the letter…"
"My dear child…what were you thinking…"
I slowly open my eyes to see the wooden panels of the guild overtop me. "She's awake!" After hearing the noise I turn my head to see a flash of blue hair rush by the door. The next thing I know my team plus Laxus and Levy were standing around me, looking like they hadn't slept in days. I'm bewildered about their actions; shouldn't they be with the people whom they love?
"Who brought me here?" I ask my voice dangerously low. I knew who it was; I just wanted to make him sweat.
Everyone looks towards Laxus, whose face is unreadable. "It was me."
"Could everyone please leave? I want to talk with my "savior" for a second." I say as I stare into his eyes.
"Sure Lucy. I just want to let you know we love you." Gray said. He comes over and kisses me on the forehead. He starts to usher Erza and Natsu out of the room who looked like they wanted to protest and stay by my side. One look at me and Gray made them think twice about it.
They were almost out the door when Natsu yelled out, "Lucy, how bout we go fishing again sometime? We haven't done that in a while!"
"Baka, stop it!" Erza yelled as she hit him upside the head. "She is in no condition to be doing anything right now." I still hear them fighting as they go downstairs, leaving me with Levy and Laxus. No doubt that "no condition" meant that I was too weak to do anything. Why must I always be considered weak?
Levy just stares at me for a while before she comes over and grabs my hand. She holds it tightly before I squeeze hers, letting her know I was alive. With tears in her eyes she runs from the room, shutting the door behind her. No doubt I'm going to hear it from Gajeel later.
But now I have a lightening dragon slayer to flay. "Why the hell did you catch me? Couldn't you have just left me to fall?" I watch as he drags a chair to my bed, sits down, and drops his head in his hands.
Mumbling, he replies, "Don't you realize how much you mean to this guild? Didn't you see the way your damn team and Levy rushed in here when Wendy said you were awake? You've been asleep for almost three days! They haven't left the guild since I brought you here."
"That doesn't answer my question; why the hell did YOU catch me?" He raises his head to look me in the eyes. I can see the emotions he's barely suppressing; the rage, hurt, sadness. All with that one look I practically saw inside his soul.
"I read your letter." Seeing my look of confusion, he elaborated. "Gramps had noticed you weren't at the party and instead of breaking up Natsu and Gray, he sent me to your house. I went through your window – I figured it was always open because of the flame brain – and saw your note." At this point he brought out the piece of paper I knew too well, the one that held my suicide note.
He began to read it.
Dear Fairy Tail,
I'm sorry you have to find out like this, but I couldn't think of another way. There was no way I could say this at the guild before everyone would deny it. But I know it's true. I'm weak.
I can't even count them on my fingers how many times I've let you all down; there's just too many to count.
I've been feeling this way for weeks now. I'm kind of surprised you all haven't noticed the fake smiles, and the sadness in my eyes. When I look in a mirror they're as clear as day. This pain and truth is consuming me, to the point that I can't go on much longer. I have just enough strength to write this letter and make it to my final resting place.
Natsu, thank you for dragging me to Fairy Tail all those years ago. I knew my life would have sucked without you and your crazy antics.
Erza, thank you for being my big sister that I never had. You showed me that strength doesn't just come from within.
Gray, thank you for being my big brother. Your levelheadedness was the only thing that kept me from going insane on missions.
Levy, you are one of my best friends, and I'm so glad I got to meet you. The rest of my book is hidden underneath my mattress if you ever have the strength to finish it.
Finally Master. I never could get used to calling you gramps. Thank you for being my daddy when my father was corrupted. I'm leaving you my keys in case someone comes to the guild and wants to learn Celestial Magic.
I love you all! I'll be watching you from above.
~Lucy.
"That was supposed to be found by Natsu." I say when he finishes.
"Too bad, I found it. When I realized what this was I started running around town trying to find you. I didn't think to look towards the ledge until you had jumped. I immediately went into lightening mode, and the rest is history." As he's speaking his voice is slowly rising, his face turning a healthy shade of pink.
"Why the hell would you care if I died or not?" I scoffed, not believing his story.
"Kami, you're such a baka!" I'm about ready to yell at him before he starts waving his hands in front of my face. "It's because I like you! You've never noticed, but I'm always looking at you. Whenever I'm on a job, I'm thinking of you. When I was in the infirmary after eating that Tempestra's poison thing, I was only thinking of your safety. You're just too naïve to realize it!" By now Laxus is red in the face and almost screaming. I'm stunned speechless. One of the most powerful men in the guild likes me?
"Why didn't you tell me sooner then?" I ask once he calms down. He was still red, but his eyes weren't crazy looking anymore.
"Why would you even look at me? You had Natsu and Gray in your life. They're more your age. And why would you even look to the man who was the cause of the Fantasia accident?" He says, more to himself than to me.
I was stunned speechless yet again. I never knew someone felt that way about me. Especially someone of Laxus' caliber. "I guess that was a really selfish thing to do, huh? No doubt you think I'm weak because I tried to take the easy way out."
"No, that's not it at all. I just think you need help. I don't think you're weak at all." Laxus leans his head back onto the seat of the chair and pinches the bridge of his nose. We sit in silence as I think about his confession. It's not like I don't want to try again, I do. But maybe Laxus can pull me out of these self-deprecating thoughts and make me feel strong.
"I can't promise that everything is going to be alright from now on, but I'm willing to try. I'm willing to try and live again." Hearing this Laxus jumps from the chair and envelops me in a hug, crushing me to his chest. "Can't – breat – h!"
"Sorry!" He says as he lets go of me, but keeps his arm around my shoulder. "Guys. Come on in." As soon as he said this my team plus Levy, Gajeel, and Cana tumbled through the door. I cringe from the noise my friends make, as they start arguing with each other. I'm not used to this much attention as of late, and it's kind of nerve-wracking.
"Bunny girl, I'm gonna have to punish you for makin' the Squirt cry." Gajeel says as he stands up from the dog-pile in front of the door. Levy smacks him over the arm saying that he's insensitive. He only ruffles her hair and says, "Only for you."
As everyone started making fun of Gajeel for that comment, I look at Laxus. He may have saved me from myself once, but hopefully he can save me again and again.
Again, sorry if that made anyone uncomfortable. When I think Savior, I think extreme. This didn't have a lot of romance, it was more of the bonding stage in a relationship...even with Laxus confessing.
*SPOILER ALERT*OK, the whole Jellal thing? He's gonna bring him back somehow. This is Hiro Mashima were talking about. He doesn't kill anybody off in Fairy Tail except for minor characters.
