Chapter 1: Diamond in the Rough

Kuwabara: (singing) Oh, I come from a land; from a far away place, where the caravan camels roam. Where it's flat and immense and the heat is intense. It's barbaric, but hey, it's home. When the winds from the east, and the suns from the west, and the sand in the glass is right. Come on down, stop on by, hop a carpet and fly to another Arabian Night.

Arabian Nights, like Arabian days, more often then not, are hotter than hot in a lot of good ways. Arabian Nights, 'neath Arabian Moons, a fool of his guard, could fall and fall hard out there on the dunes.

(Kuwabara's camel collapses from exhaustion. Kuwabara hops off and stares at audience.)

Kuwabara: Ah, salaam and good evening to you, worthy friend. Please, please come closer.

(Camera moves in and squishes Kuwabara's face.)

Kuwabara: Too close, a little too close. There. Welcome to Agrabah, city of mystery, of enchantment, and the finest merchandise this side of the river Jordan, on sale today. Come on down.

(Pulls string to unveil a souvenir stand.)

Kuwabara: (pulls out object) Look at this, yes; combination Hookah and coffee maker. It also makes Julian fries. It will not break (bangs against counter). It will not…(stops as top pops off.) it broke. Oh, look at this. I have never seen one these intact before. This is the famous Dead Sea Tupperware. Listen. (Lifts lid and makes raspberries with tongue.) Ah. Still good.

(Camera moves away)

Kuwabara: Wait don't go. I can see you're only interested in the exceptionally rare. I think that you will be most rewarded to consider this. (Pulls out old oil lamp). Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance. Like so many things, it is not what is outside but what is inside that counts.

(Camera still moves away.)

Kuwabara: This is no ordinary lamp. It once changed the course of a young man's life. A young man who, like this lamp, was more than what he seemed. A diamond in the rough. Perhaps you would like to hear the tale. It begins on a dark night, where a dark man waits with a dark purpose.

(Horse pulls up and Sakyo hops off and faces younger Toguro.)

Younger Toguro: I hope you know, that you're late.

Sakyo: Many apologies, oh patient one.

Younger Toguro: Then I assume you have the artifact.

Sakyo: Had to slit some throats but, yeah, I got it.

(Sakyo takes out half a scarab. Younger Toguro reaches out hand but Sakyo recoils.)

Sakyo: Not so fast. What about the treasure you promised me.

(Elder Toguro, fed up, extends his bony fingers and snatches the scarab artifact from Sakyo's hands.)

Younger Toguro: Trust me when I say this Sakyo, you'll get what's coming to you.

Elder Toguro: Yeah, you'll get what's coming to you.

(Younger Toguro assembles the first scarab piece with the second hidden in his cloak. Scarab flits its wings and flies off. The Toguro brothers and Sakyo follow it. The two pieces split and sink into the sand. At the exact same moment the sand dune rises to form the mouth of a giant lion and the two scarab halves form its eyes.)

Younger Toguro: Finally, after all these years. The Cave of Wonders.

Elder Toguro: Yep, Cave of Wonders.

Sakyo: By Allah.

Younger Toguro: (grabbing Sakyo's collar) Now, remember our deal. You bring me the lamp and the rest is yours. Take what you wish, but the lamp is mine.

(Sakyo walks towards the cave but is halted by the Lion's voice.)

Cave: Who disturbs my slumber?

Sakyo: It is I, Sakyo, a humble thief.

Cave: Know this. Only one may enter here; one whose worth lies far within, the diamond in the rough.

(Sakyo looks back at the Toguro brothers)

Younger Toguro: What are you waiting for? Get moving.

(Sakyo no sooner takes one step inside and the cave's mouth shuts. The Toguro brothers stand there as the cave echoes its only instruction.)

Cave: Seek thee out the diamond in the rough.

Elder Toguro: (coughs and picks up scarab pieces.) I don't believe it. I just don't believe it. We're never gonna get a hold of that stupid lamp.

Younger Toguro: Patience, brother. Sakyo was obviously less than worthy.

Elder Toguro: (Sarcastically) Oh, there's a big surprise! That's incredible! I think I'm about to have a heart attack and die from not surprise! What are we gonna do? We got a big problem here. A big …

Younger Toguro: (covers his brother's mouth.) Yes. Only one may enter. I must find this one, this diamond in the rough.

To Be Continued.