This story is marked complete simply because it is a collection of song-inspired one-shots. Any song requests and/or prompts are welcome and will be written when I'm able to get to them. That being said, I appreciate any feedback and really hope you enjoy my story. This first one takes place after Countdown, but not all of the one-shots will be based off of the events of an episode. Thank you for reading!
"You'll never know the endless nights,
the rhyming of the rain
Or how it feels to fall behind
and watch you call his name…"
Rick shuts the door to his loft and leans heavily against it, the weight of the day resting on his shoulders. He either needs a drink, a hot shower, or sleep. Or maybe all three. He's not sure why he keeps doing this to himself, keeps showing up to the precinct only to watch Kate with another man.
As much as Rick wants to say he doesn't know what Kate sees in Josh, he can't. Doctor Motorcycle Boy was supposed to leave and go save the world, but he came back for her and the sake of their relationship. He's a good, hardworking man, and Rick gets it. Josh and Kate fit. They make sense on paper, whereas Rick is beginning to think he and Kate will never have a chance to prove that they can do it, that they can make sense too.
She said she wants someone to dive into it together. Rick just wants to shake her and tell her to wake up, because he's right here. Waiting for her. Waiting for something he's sure won't happen because she is not a risk taker, not when her heart is involved, and the two of them as a couple, beating the odds, that's a risk.
He trudges to his bedroom and mentally kicks himself for thinking that Kate would have wanted to spend time with him after this case. Not when Josh cancelled his trip for her. He thought maybe she would get it, that after nearly dying together twice in one week, she would understand that he is there for her and she's there for him, just like she told him she wants. But he isn't what she wants.
He's going to have to find a way to be okay with that, or end their partnership to spare himself the heartache. But he's her partner. Partners don't abandon each other. He can't imagine what would happen to her if he didn't have her back. Not to say that she can't protect herself, because she can, everyone knows that, but he likes to think that he's part of the reason some of these cases haven't killed her.
He's just pouring himself a glass of scotch when there's a knock on his door. His mother and Alexis aren't expected to be back until Sunday. His heart leaps, because he can only think of one other person who would show up at his door unexpectedly tonight, but can't bring it in himself to hope too much. He goes to it and takes a breath, calming his nerves before swinging it open. There she is, smiling adorably at him, timid.
"Hey," Kate says softly, "Can I come in?"
"Uh," his brow furrows, because, wow, yeah, she is here, but why? Her eyebrows raise and he remembers that she asked a question. "Yeah, yeah. Of course." He opens the door wider for her, then shuts it. He turns and can't help from blurting out, "Shouldn't you be with Doctor Motorcycle Boy?"
She huffs and frowns at the nickname that he knows she disapproves of, but chooses to ignore it. "Josh is on his way to Haiti."
"Oh," Rick is surprised. "I'm sorry?" It comes out as a question rather than a statement.
"No, you're not," she says, almost smiling, but he notices the undertone of sadness lacing her voice.
He takes a chance then. "No, maybe I'm not. But I am sorry that it's upset you."
She turns and goes to sit on his sofa. He follows, of course.
"It was mutual, I guess. I'm not the type of woman to hold somebody back from something they clearly want. And we never saw each other anyways, so I couldn't picture our relationship going any further than it had. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I'm sorry," she tells him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, avoiding his eyes.
"You can tell me anything, Kate," he says. Her name catches her attention and she smiles gratefully at him.
"So," she changes the topic, "What were you going to say before Josh showed up earlier at the precinct?"
He grins. "I was going to invite you over for dinner and a movie night to take our minds off of this week."
"Well, I'm here now," she says shyly, and god, Kate Beckett is adorable when she's shy. "Does the offer still stand?"
"Absolutely!" He stands up, his whole heart lighter. She follows him to the kitchen and plants herself on the counter, legs swinging back and forth. As he gets out the ingredients for spaghetti, he notices that she changed her clothes before coming over. Leggings and a loose NYPD sweatshirt. The whole scene is so domestic he has to find ways to distract himself or he might do something incredibly stupid, like pull her into his arms and never, ever let her go again.
"Hey, Castle?"
"Mhm?" he replies, stirring the pasta into the water.
"I never really said thank you for everything this week. I just hope you know how grateful I am that you had my back. I don't think I would even-"
"Kate," he cuts her off, making eye contact with her, trying to convey everything he feels into one word. "Always."
She nods, breaks eye contact. He sighs and turns back to their food.
"Do you need help with anything?" she asks after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
"You can pick a bottle of wine if you'd like," he replies, pointing at the wine cooler. She slides off the counter and leans down to examine his wine collection, picking one she knows he likes. She sets it on the counter and goes for two wine glasses.
He tries to ignore the fact that she knows where they're at, but he can't ignore the bottle she chose. "2000 Châteauneuf-du-Pape? Why, detective, I do believe this is the same wine I brought you during the Scott Dunn case."
"How perceptive of you," she teases, popping the cork. She sets the wine glasses on the table just as he's serving the pasta, so she grabs silverware while he takes their plates to the table. "Thank you for dinner," she says softly, her hand resting on his forearm.
"I'm glad you came over," he tells her honestly. "I didn't want to be alone after this case," he adds after a moment.
"Me either," she replies understandingly. "I don't what you to think that I only came because you're a second option to me. Josh and I- we started arguing because I asked him to leave so I could come over. I didn't tell him that, but… he knew."
"You were going to come over even if you two hadn't broken up?"
She nods and says, "I knew that Martha and Alexis were still in the Hamptons and I know what you're feeling after this week. I just- I felt bad knowing you were coming home to an empty loft. You saved a lot of people today, Rick, and I wouldn't have wanted to be standing next to that bomb with anybody else. You…" Kate trails off, doesn't finish her thought.
"What is it?" he pries cautiously, though he's still reeling from everything she's just told him. She hasn't been this openly honest with him since, well, ever.
"Even when we were freezing to death and were two seconds away from being blown to dust, I still felt safe. With you." She gives him a watery smile, and that does it for him.
He stands up and pulls her out of her chair into his embrace, holding her tight. Her arms wrap around his torso without hesitation. The last few ounces of tension that the week has put on their emotions and bodies falls away. God, he loves her.
She steps away from him, looks like a deer in headlights.
Did he say that out loud?
Shit.
"Kate-"
"You do?" she asks quietly. He's not sure if it's a panicked quiet or a content quiet, but he's hoping that he didn't just ruin everything they built tonight. But she heard him, so there's no use in denying it now.
"Yes," he tells her. "So much."
He isn't sure what he was expecting her to do. Tell him he's crazy and he's only saying it because of their two near-death experiences this week, walk out and leave him forever, he doesn't know. But kissing him like she is now is certainly not the way he thought she would react. She pulls away, tears in her eyes and a little breathless, smile wider than he's ever seen. He grins, because Kate Beckett just kissed him when he told her he loves her.
"I love you, too," she says, and he can't help himself. He hoists her up and spins her in the air in a tight bear hug, her laugh echoing off the walls. He sets her down and she kisses him again, softer, and takes his hand in hers. She leads them towards his bedroom, their dinner abandoned.
"Kate," he stops her. "We don't have to."
"I know," she says on a smile, yanks him in the direction of his bedroom again.
He thanks God that his mother and Alexis are out of the city for the weekend before shutting his door behind them with her body.
"Pack up and leave everything
Don't you see what I can bring?
Can't keep this beating heart at bay
Set my midnight sorrow free,
I will give you all of me
Just leave your lover,
leave him for me."
Sam Smith / Leave Your Lover