Disclaimer: If I owned DC Comics, I wouldn't be sitting here in a budget flat on a laptop at 3am. Unfortunately I don't own DC comics, and here I am.

This is a first writing one-shots, but I figured it would be easier to write than a 100,000 word story that would take loads of time to plan. Time I don't have. Reviews are not just welcome, they're encouraged! I'd love to see what people think of what I'm writing. So please, if it impresses you, or it horrifies you as a reader... give me a review or PM to say what you thought. I'd really appreciate it.

This series will tend to stay around the T rating area, but it may lift up to M, depending on how I'm feeling when I'm writing. So without further ado, enjoy the first of my one-shots: Icy Reception

A/N: These One-shots are usually situated around a character from how they are portrayed in some sort of media. For today, think of your narrator, the Penguin, in his Arkham City persona in an AU.

The Iceberg Lounge. The hottest place to be on a Saturday night in Gotham City. You'll find all sorts of high rollers and psychos alike round here. Whether you want the corrupt cops, the Falcones or an ex-inmate of Arkham, you've got good odds of finding at least one of them crazy buggers at the Iceberg Lounge. Now you should know me as Oswald Cobblepot, and if you don't? Get your head out of the bloody sand boy! I own the Iceberg Lounge, I deal with its problems, so what would any owner, such as myself, expect when an uninvited guest shows up? Hmm?

My family's had dealings with the Wayne family and it's corporation for generations, only recently have I been able to rebuild our rightful stature at the heights of Gotham's pecking order. So when their current disgrace of a CEO walks in asking for a drink, I thought I might have a little fun here.

The arrogant bastard asks the waiter for a drink – I give him the go ahead, just cause I want to see

Wayne squirm.

So he sits at a table with his whore and orders the drinks, she gets a wine spritza – he gets a martini. Smug bastard. So I says to my toughest bouncer to go over and hassle him for a bit. Well, I just sat back and watched. I couldn't hear what they were sayin', but by the look on Wayne's face, he was gettin' pretty pissed! So then outta nowhere, my guy picks him up and throws him across the room, and just his luck, he happens to crash through the table of Bane, of all people. Now I'm still sittin' 'ere laughing my arse off, whilst Bane picks up the classy prick, and spits in his face. Then he raises his arm to knock Wayne from here to Keystone City. As you've guessed, I'm absolutely lovin' this!

But then the inevitable happened. Right on cue, as if he'd been here all along, the boy blunder clips Bane right in the venom socket, and the guy goes damn right ballistic. Glasses, food, tables, all flying around the place like a hurricane just hit. I took a fork to the knee, but that was nothin' compared to all kinds of hell that Bane was getting. I've never seen the bloke so angry! Bloody carnage it was!

So then the businessman about me started to kick in, and so I stepped in to break it up. Spoken orders seemed to do nothing, so I stabbed Bane in the ankle with my Umbrella.

'Break it up!' I said, roaring over everything else. 'I don't have violent Mercenaries in my club, nor do I have teenagers in unitards either! So clear off.' Surprisingly, they did. Bane trudged off into the distance, while Robin disappeared through the open window.

I felt pleased with myself, that I could regain order without having to kill anyone, (although, I desperately wanted to) so I turned to see how Brucie was doing. I looked around the room, asked my staff, and not one person had seen him leave, but yet he wasn't here. But what really annoyed me, was that his check was $5 short. You would've thought he'd have the money eh?