A/N: I am currently studying creative writing at university and I am in desperate need of YOUR help.
I am undergoing a project to incorporate music actively into writing. In this scene I have done just that and to complete my project I need feedback on if it works.
All I need you to tell me is how the use of music made you feel, think and if you think it worked. At the end of the chapter there will be a address for the youtube video for the song. It's a beautiful cover and has inspired me alot.
I appreciated that you don't know the whole story, if this project goes well and I get alot of feedback then I will post up what I have written to date.
Your help is greatly appreciated!
Summery:The main character is named Zara, she is a turned vampire who used to be a witch, she works for the council as a bounty hunter. The lead male is John, a supposedly violent criminal who she has been ordered to capture and return to the council. In this scene they are on a private beach with another witch named Sophia and Zara's team, just after they have performed a ritual to regain Sophia's powers.
I struggled to breathe as the magic pulsed through me. It rushed towards Sophia, filling. The backlash of it leaving me left me blind for a moment, my body quivering with sensations I hadn't felt in nearly 10 years. Tears of joy burnt my cheeks. I fought to keep standing but as the last drops of power left me I collapse to the warm sand, gasping.
Spots swam in my vision, colour and sound pulsing back into being as I sucked in air. I arms shook under my weight. Sitting back on my heels I stared up at Sophia dumbly. She almost floated above me, glowing with power. A clarity shone in her eyes and a smile split her face. She stared down at me too, gratitude and love beaming out at me. Slowly, like a new born bambi, she took a step, then another and another. She reached for me and we clung to each other, shaking from what we'd just experienced.
"Thank you," she whispered fiercely, "Thank you. Thank you."
A ragged laugh erupted from my lips and we laughed brokenly together. With a shaking hand she help me up and we stumbled to dismantle the circle. As soon as it was broken Lex rushed forward and swung Sophia into his arms. He feverishly kissed her and she sobbed through her smile.
Her eyes sparkled, "Beautiful," She whispered to him, "You're so beautiful."
He kissed her deeply, "I'm sure you mean dashingly handsome."
"No," For the first time in years her eyes held the brightest colour; she looked sure and true, "Beautiful. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
I blushed at their intimate exchange. Sophia had been slowly regaining her sight for the past 6 months, but while Lex had been the only thing she had been able to see when she was completely blind, as she regained her sight bit by bit, it was him who had remained illusive to her eyes. This was the first time she had ever seen him.
As I turned from them my eyes caught John's. He watched me silently, he was the only who had remained in his seat after the circle had opened. My heart pounded loudly in my chest and my fingers tingled. Bumps rose along my arms and I shivered. My eyes drifted closed. The breeze made my hair dance around me. The world began to tilt. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore roared in my ears.
"Zara!"
My eyes flew open to see the world swing widely and the stars filled my vision. Strong arms caught me before I fell and my breath escaped me. Gracen looked down at me, brow crumpled with worry. He helped me to one of the driftwood benches. I breathed deeply, clutching the soft wood. His warm hand sat on my back, supporting me.
I glanced at him, pushing a smile through my dizziness, "I'm not going to fall again, Gracen. Stop worrying, you'll get wrinkles on your pretty face."
He tugged my hair playfully and pulled me close for a hug. I leaned on him and relished in the brief moment of raw friendship. To not be held by my second in command, but one of my closest friends.
Sophia sat heavily next to me and stared at me in wonder, "You did it. You really did it." Her hands shook with excitement as she took mine, "I knew it, I knew you could do it. I told you. Oh my god, you were amazing. I could feel all my power flowing through you. It was perfect."
She continued to gush but I barely heard it. She was right. It had worked. Better than either of us had anticipated. The memory of all that magic surging through my body made me shiver. I had missed it so much.
I forced myself to focus on the excited girl beside me, "I feel amazing. My whole body is buzzing. And everything is so vibrant. Was the world always this bright? I feel like I can't keep still, I just want to move. I want to dance. Oh! Lets have a party!"
I stared dumbfounded at her, "What?"
"A party!" she cried, "Let's celebrate! We can have a beach party! I already brought food down, and we've got a bonfire. And John, you can sing!"
"What? No!" I jumped to my feet, panic flooding all the good feelings from my system.
"No, it's perfect! Then there'll be music and we can dance. You can sing, can't you John? That's your power right? Oh this is perfect."
"No, no! Slow down! He can't sing."
Sophia gave an exasperated sigh, "Oh he can't be that bad!"
"He's not allowed to sing. He's a…a…he's a captive!"
She frowned, "Don't be such a party pooper! It'll be fine. He's got the band on right? So what's the harm? He's just singing."
I struggled to find an argument. She sighed and rolled her eyes, "If he promises not to try and escape will you let it go?"
She looked expectantly at John, who looked questioningly at me. When I didn't respond he bit his lip and nodded, "I promise."
Sophia nodded with satisfaction, "See, nothing to worry about. Let's celebrate."
She was up and bustling around before I could retaliate.
"Now we need something to make music with. Oh, I've got my guitar at the house…my, lets see if I still got it." Her face screwed up in concentration and she held out her hands. The air fizzed with energy and slowly an acoustic guitar began to materialize in her hands.
My jaw dropped in astonishment. She'd regained her hereditary powers only 15 minutes ago and already she was attempting advanced magic. Her control was amazing, still shaky, but well maintained, given the circumstance. Within moments the instrument was full formed. Her hands dropped under the sudden weight.
Her triumphant smile was infectious, "There!
"Know how to play this?" she asked, passing John the guitar. His eyes shone as he took the instrument in his hands. He swallowed hard and nodded, "I can play anything, as long as it makes music."
He ran his hands along the strings, almost caressing it. Suddenly a lump formed in my throat. His tender touch, the softness in his face, it was so unexpected, so vulnerable that I couldn't breathe.
As he strummed a chord I shivered. The sound of it danced on the breeze then disappeared into the night. His fingers froze over the strings and he looked up at me sharply. His lips opened slightly, his unspoken question hanging between us. The familiar clench of doubt in my gut was curiously absent, and, despite my orders, my training, I nodded lightly.
The tension across his shoulders melted away as he struck another cord, which quickly led into another. For a few precious moments he simply played a mindless tune, his fingers dancing across the strings, light and confident.
When he finally paused the looked of uninhibited joy of his face knocked the air from my lungs.
"Any requests?"
Sophia clapped and all but bounced up and down in her seat, "We need something fun to kick us off…ooo, what about Dance With Me Tonight? Can you do that one?"
John adjusted his hands on the guitar and gave her a charming smile I'd ever seen before, "No problem."
My fingers gripped my seat as my chest tightened in anticipation.
Then he began to play.
The sound of the music filling the night rolled along my shoulders, loosening every muscle with it. My nerves tingled and the hair rose on the back of my neck. The playful tune made me restless and I fought the urge to get up and dance.
And then he started singing.
Suddenly I forgot how to breathe. Everything froze as the sound of his voice reached me. The night seemed to fall into the deepest stillness. Then, as I sucked in a breath, the world stuttered into life again. My stomach fluttered and I fought the blush creeping up my neck.
His voice was rich and deep, like velvet chocolate, lazily licking across my skin. The deep lilt made a warmth spread through my chest, offering a heat even the huge bonfire couldn't give. For a long moment my jaw ached with unrefined need, then the ache turned into a tingle that spread along my jaw. Nervously I wondered if I was about to drop fang, but then the sensation passed. I shook it off and focused on John again.
He was now stood, still playing with ease, almost dancing around the fire. Gracen stood beside me and took Nat's hand, and together they began to dance, smiling freely at one another. Jealously spiked painfully inside me at how natural they looked together, how easily they shared the moment together. But then I remembered how hard it must be for them both.
Gracen couldn't look into the eyes of anyone but a demon without causing that person so much fear and distress it could kill them; and Nat had never been able to relish in her own excitement, her own anticipation before, she'd always been forced to live through another's. With a start I realised they were perfect for one another.
Lex and Sophie began to dance as well, laughing as they swirled. I wished for the days when my life used to be as simple as dancing and laughing. I tried to remind myself that I was better off now than I was back then.
Before I knew it the song struck it's last few chords. I expected John to ask for another request but he surprised me by weaving the tune into another song. The slow gentle twang of the guitar lulled me out of my solemn thoughts. John's soft voice sighed into the breeze. It carried his words to me, whispering them like the secrets of a lover.
Old friend, why are you so shy?
The warmth in my chest spread further, down my arms, into my fingertips. The ghost of my memories, his face in the night, his eyes staring down at me.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited.
His soft brown eyes, warm in the dark.
I hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded.
The gentle pressure of his hand on my back. His lips, brushing against mine.
That for me it isn't over.
My eyes flew open to meet his. His gaze was so intense, so deep, my heart stuttered. The memory of him dancing with me in the forest rocked me and I couldn't remember where I was. There was just the smell of him, the look in those eyes, the soothing sound of his beautiful voice.
Then his eyes drifted closed with the bittersweet tune and the vision faded. I was no longer 13, easily wooed. I was back on the beach, watching him sing with the same awe as those around me. But the memory lingered in my heart, leaving a familiar warm ache.
You know how the time flies.
The innocent little girl from my past crooned for the gentle man singing before me, almost singing to me. The woman in me wished he could be the man he appear right now, simple, loving, kind. Life wasn't so easy.
Don't forget me, I beg.
The naked emotion in his words twisted in my chest. My eyes swam as I watched him. His whole body leaned towards me, the words bursting painfully from him, thrusting him forward, like the emotion was too much to bear.
Don't forget me, I beg.
My heart swelled. His words felt like a gentle confession. Tears welled in my eyes. I swallowed painfully. My whole body flushed ice cold.
Then, as the last note echoed around us, the overwhelming sensation stopped. The pain in my chest eased and I slumped in my seat. I felt a mess, like I had no control. My heart was beating so hard I was sure everyone could hear it. I shot a guilty look at John, but he wasn't looking my way. A ghost of a smile was on his lips, as he held the guitar like a lifeline. Before I had chance to think of what had just occurred people were already calling for more music and so the sound of John's flawless playing filled the air again.
A/N: I'm really looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
Here's the youtube address (just remove the spaces): www. youtube .com/watch?v=BEJfQ9-lhs8