Something Special
By Kloudy Reignfall

Hey, this is just a little thing I wrote a while ago, pretty randomly. It was actually going to be a songfic to the song Hands Down, but I never got around to writing the rest of it. So here's what I have for the time being. I would have liked to have waited until I wrote more, but today is my self-imposed update deadline, so I had to post something. It's just a cute, semi-fluffy little Hiro-Shu thing. Have fun reading and don't forget to review.... or whatever. XD

Today's music: Hands Down, She will be loved, various Gravitation songs (Anti-Nostalgic)

Warnings and Disclaimers: I pity you if you actually need these things. But here: Shounen-ai (Hiro x Shu) and I don't own the rights to Gravitation.

I don't know when I started thinking of him like that. We'd been friends for such a long time; it seemed like forever. I couldn't ever remember being without him. But before, he'd always been "my crazy, spastic friend with the pink hair". Later he became "my crazy best friend with the pink hair and nice voice". Then "my dearest friend, with the adorable hair and captivating singing voice", although I'd never have described him as such to anybody. It was a bit much, but it was true and nobody could blame me for it.

But when had he become this? This person so amazing I couldn't describe him in a million sentences, this person I would not dare try to capture the essence of in such constricting things as words. Since when did he become impossible to explain?

When he was around, the world felt different. I felt different. My heart danced to a foreign beat, I saw through different eyes. It was exhilarating. Sometimes I wondered, Did he have this effect on everyone? Or was it only me that was so affected by his presence, instilled with a strange emotion?

Oh, and what was that emotion?! It was familiar, like the genes of an ever-present feeling, twisted, mutated and grown into something more. Something overpowering.

Those thoughts drifted in my mind for a long time. Might have been years. I don't know how long I watched my friend, weird feelings for him teasing me silently. And I don't know when I finally figured out that it was love…

For a while now I'd known that I loved him. It was nice to understand these feelings, yet at the same time now that I had that figured out my mind began to focus on more than just the What this feeling was. Things like the Why.

Why did I love him anyway? There had to be some reason for my strange attraction to my best friend. Everything happened for a reason, right? There had to be a logical reason for suddenly falling for my male best friend when up until now I had mostly been attracted to girls. Maybe it was some chemical reaction or genetic mutation. Maybe he was actually a girl, and that's why I liked him. (Of course I knew this was absurd. We'd been friends since forever and over the years I'd seen more than enough proof of his gender.)

Pondering the unanswerable question of Why slowly drove me crazy, so I forgot about it. I tried to forget about the whole issue. I mean, I knew I couldn't stop loving him, but if I just let the feeling ferment in the back of my head I was sure it would stop bothering me…

They never did go away, those incessant thoughts. They tortured me while I carried on, pretending to be careless. I think I did a good job of hiding my emotions though, acting as if every glance at my best friend didn't break my heart and send a chill down my spine. We were just good friends who liked to be around each other. Of course, it was true. We were just friends, and that's all we ever would be.

But I could handle just being friends with him. I loved him. Shuichi was the most wonderful person in the world. So long as I got to be around him I didn't care what the circumstances were. And, as best friends, we did spend a lot of time together. We were almost never apart. Either he was at my house or I was at his. He called my parents Mom and Dad and, although I wasn't quite that friendly, I was still on great terms with his parents. It was nice that we were such good friends that I had this great excuse to be with him.

In time I was so content with our relationship, even though it was utterly platonic, that I almost forgot at times what I felt deep inside. It was just like a treasured little memory within me.

By the time we were in our Junior year of high school I even decided to find a relationship with someone. A lot of the girls at school seemed to like me, so I humored a few of them and went on a couple dates. Many of them were nice girls, pretty, smart or talented. They were all so interested in me. But I knew that there wasn't anything in them for me. And I turned them all down in the end. Luckily, they all took it pretty well. I was grateful to them for understanding that my heart wasn't in it, although I doubt if any of them knew exactly why.

Shuichi tried to date a little bit too, but apparently it wasn't working for him either. He was cute, but maybe a little too intense for most people to handle. He seemed a little more put down by it than I was though. His face was contorted into a pathetically cute frown as he told me of his troubles one night.

"Why can't I find anyone that's right for me, Hiro?" he asked. I shook my head and he continued his rant. "It's not that I don't get along with all these people or anything like that. I've been with some really nice people…"

I waited for him to continue but he sat on his floor, eyes downcast, thinking. "…But?" I prompted him.

He looked up at me, his shoulders sagging. His eyes were a window to his mind, showing the depth of his internal struggle in their violet irises. "They've all liked me just fine," he said. Then he shook his head, a little sadly. "But… I haven't felt anything special with any of them! Don't they say that you're supposed to feel something special when you meet the right person? A feeling… a feeling like you've known each other forever? Like…-"

"Like you belong together for eternity?"

Shuichi nodded his head at me, his wide eyes on me. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, just like that."

I smiled hopelessly. "I guess you'll just have to wait until you find that person."

He nodded slightly again. "Hiro, do you really think there's someone for everyone?" he asked me, his bright eyes shining with desperate hope.

My eyes softened on him. "I know there is, Shuichi."

Satisfied with that answer, he picked himself up off the floor and went to shower for the night. I took the time to voyage to the kitchen for a snack. Shuichi's little sister Maiko, a freshman at our school, was sitting in her PJs on the living room sofa, watching TV behind a bowl of popcorn. She looked up when I entered the room from the hallway.

"Hello, Hiro-kun," she said, not taking her eyes off the screen.

"Hey," I said back to her politely.

"So what's up?" she asked. "How's Nori-san?"

"We broke up a couple days ago," I told her, referring to my most recent "girlfriend."

"Oh," Maiko intoned, nonplussed. "I kinda figured you would."

I walked closer to her upon hearing this, leaning on the back of the couch. "Why do you say that?"

She finally moved her eyes to me. "It was just obvious it wouldn't work out." I raised an eyebrow to her and she thought of a way to explain. "You didn't really like her, did you? You never liked any of those girls. Why did you go out with them anyway?"

I thought for an answer, but nothing logical would come to mind. There was no way to explain my reasoning. No way that wouldn't leave me over-exposed.

Maiko laughed at the blankly confused look in my eyes. "Just stop," she said. "I understand. You don't need to embarrass yourself."

My mouth dropped open in surprise. I recovered quickly, but she only giggled cutely at me again in a way that reminded me of a certain pink-haired boy. "It's ok, Hiro-kun! I think it's good." Her eyes smiled kindly at me.

I was about to deny whatever she was thinking and defend myself but Shuichi walked out into the living room, wet magenta hair plastered to his head and still dripping with warm water. Just the sight of him standing there, wearing nothing more elaborate than a pair of black gym shorts and a loose blue beater, was so beautiful that I think I may have forgotten to breathe. But I snapped awake from my trance when a piece of kettle corn bounced off my cheek.

"You guys wanna watch a movie?" she asked, a gleam in her eye just bordering between sweet and conniving.

Shuichi looked at me, questioning for my opinion. I shrugged and moved to sit casually on the couch perpendicular to Maiko's. Shuichi followed and sat just beside me, wilting into the cushions. He didn't say anything, just looking at the screen in front of us. I wondered a little on his peculiar silence, but I just accepted it as strange as he yawned and stretched.

Soon the movie was over and I think I'd actually seen maybe 10 cumulative minutes of it. Most of the time my attention wandered to the pink-headed boy beside me. Not a quarter way through the movie he had finally drifted off into a peaceful sleep, his head falling into my lap. Of course through the years we'd ended up in this position many times before. Shuichi was hardly one to stay up during movie nights at home. Nobody would find this scene a strange one, especially not with Maiko snoozing on the other couch. And though the movie was over and the TV had turned off, I couldn't bring myself to move or wake him. So I repositioned myself and the pillows behind me and settled down, snuggling into him.

As I drifted off into sleep I gazed at him and once again realized just how perfect he was. But my heart didn't break like the times I'd thought this before. It stayed a calm, content pace as I fell to dreams.

Well, there it is! The end. I promise if I write more, I'll post it. I'm not entirely happy with this, but I think it's cute enough anyway.
Oh, reviews might help me write more. Hint hint.
Thanks!
-Kloudy Reignfall