A/N: This is a three (possibly four) part fanfic. Just something fun and simple to exercise my fingers and give my brain a small break from other stories I'm working on. Plus, who doesn't love a little Saitou and Sano action?

Edit: In 1,200 words, I realize that this has the potential to be a long one. (Oops.) So, I've decided to make it a long one and change the blurb. I'm keeping the original author's note above though - just in case.

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"Cricket man! Hey! Over here!"

The furious waving arms accompanied with goofy grin makes Saitou groan inwards, loudly. Outside, though, his expression doesn't change, the look of contempt plainly etched across his features. While he had agreed to accompany this ahou, he wasn't going to enjoy it or even attempt to.

He sits down, opposite of the roosterhead, and takes in the twitch of the boy's mouth.

He grumbles, "So what did you need, ahou?"

"Well," Sanosuke grins, "first you gotta sit down next to me for you to help me old man."

"No."

Sano pouts. Here, he was in dire need of help, and Saitou refusing to do anything. He had agreed for fuck's sake! The least he could do was go through with it. "Please?"

The older man's frown deepens but he rises and moves to sit down next to the boy. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter and cigarette. He places the cigarette between his teeth and lights it, inhaling once before blowing a ring into Sano's face. "Happy?" he breathes.

"Very. Though, I'd really be happy if you put that out. Seriously, how do you keep your gloves so white?"

"Hnn.." Amber eyes slit and a predatory look enters them. He was here, wasn't he? The kid should be happy with that. And just that.

Sano sighs, resigned. So much for thinking that Saitou would cut loose, even just a little. But, oh well. He would have fun no matter what. "So, you ready for this?"

"What exactly is this?"

Sano's eyes immediately lower, knowing he's about to piss off the mighty Wolf of Mibu and quite possibly get stabbed in the other shoulder. "Uh...you see...well..."

"Ahou," Saitou snarls, very suspicious of why Sano needed him, "what have you done?"

"N-nothing!"

"You led me to believe that I was here to help you in your situation with the Battousai. Clearly, you lied."

"No! You are!"

"I'm leaving now." Saitou, pulls the cigarette from his mouth and grinds it in a nearby ashtray. He stands and makes three steps before Sano latches onto his wrist and tugs.

"Wait!"

"Let go, boy."

"WAIT, DAMNIT!"

"I have no time for liars." Saitou wrenches his arm from Sano's grasp and continues walking.

Sano quickly scrambles forward, rushing in front of Saitou, and places his hands against the wolf's chest, halting his retreat. "Hold on, you fucker! You are helping me with my Kenshin problem!"

"Move, you bad-mouthed child."

Sanosuke's palms push forward hard against Saitou's solid chest, but to no avail as the man does not budge an inch. He's strong, as usual, and he figures that it's pure having-nothing-else-better-to-do that has kept Saitou from pounding the shit out of him. If he had important things to do, the cop would have knocked him flat on his back by now and would have stomped on his face on the way out. "Look, man. You said you'd help me, you agreed to come here. Why leave so goddam quickly? You don't even know what I need you to do!"

Saitou glances down at the spiky mess of brown hair and the hands on his chest with disinterest. If he wants to leave, he will leave. There's no reason for him to stay and he can't believe he'd even come here in the first place. Why did he care if the roosterhead and the girly redhead had a falling out?

"Don't you want to know why I need your help."

"I know why."

"Y-you..you do?"

"Yes. Himura finally realized how big of an idiot you are, and," He coldly meets Sano's big eyes and dryly finishes, "told you to get lost."

Hurt flares up in those brown orbs as Sano attacks him with his fists. "NO! Stupid old man!"

Indifferent to the pounding punches on his chest, Saitou asks, "If it's not that, then what is it?" He peers into furious eyes, searching. "Does it have to do with the girl? You like her too?"

"Wha? No!"

"Then I don't see what could have possible caused this 'rift' between you and him."

"You will! If you just sit the fuck down!" Chest heaving and heart pounding, Sano pushes the officer's chest back one more time.

Noting the desperate look in the boy's eyes, Saitou feels himself grow intrigued. He is curious now - not that he'd let the fool know it - but he figures a few minutes wouldn't waste too much of his time. He could maybe use this information in the future. And it'd get the ahou off his back for awhile. The future prospect of not having to deal with the child pestering him when he's working or causing mayhem with Chou is enough incentive for him to walk back to their booth and sit down.

"Okay, this is good," mutters Sano to himself, "just don't make him mad...don't make him mad."

He plops down next to Saitou and fiddles with his thumbs for a few seconds, twitching under the man's gaze. He might as well get this over with. Not like he can keep his mouth shut for so long anyways. He mentally thanks himself for ordering some sake beforehand and pats his stomach reassuring himself of the warm liquid courage lying there already.

"You know how Kenshin and the little missy are getting married, real soon?"

"Hnn.." Saitou grunts in affirmation.

Sano ducks his head then proceeds forward, "Before that...Kenshin...and I had something, you know? Nothing, romantic and that shit, but it was something. We tried, well he tried, for my sake, to make it work, I guess, but he just didn't...," a strangled sigh, "...he loves her. Not me, not like that."

Due to his bowed head, Sano misses Saito's eye roll.

Did he just walk into a soap opera, Saito muses. Did he? Because he feels like he did. One with no plot, bad actors, and innocent bystanders being dragged in. Was this what letting everyone know he was alive was worth? Was this his reward of actually giving a shit? His terrible mistake then.

"So you fucked him till he grew smart and proposed to the violent girl. What's the problem?"

Sano launches himself at Saito, eyes blazing with fury and suspiciously wet. "NO! I did..did not fuck him!" Saito dodges the badly thrown punch and grabs the trembling wrist. "I didn't!" This time, the other fist flies and Saito is prepared to catch it right before it meets his face. "I didn't!" The small wail at the end accompanied with Sano's slumping body against him are what finally clues in Saito that this was more than just a simple case of jilted lover. His ahou had felt something for Himura.

Wait, his?

"I didn't..'Jime..I didn't...I-I d-didn't.." Sobs wrack the teen's body and Saito briefly feels like shit which helps to block the mental crisis surging in his brain.

"I get it ahou, " he murmurs softly, "you didn't."

He lets go of the boy's wrists and places a gloved hand on the rooster's head. He pets the spiky hair and leans back, closing his eyes. Stupid. Very stupid. Now there's going to be snot all over him too.

Strangely, no one else has glanced their way despite the yelling and crying. But, that could be explained as the place was rather quite loud. He doesn't understand why the boy wanted to meet here when they could have easily talked this over at the station or even at the kid's house. In, fact anywhere would have probably been a better location to talk over such an apparently personal dilemma.

Taking in the sniffles and hiccups, Saito's mouth sets into a firm grim line. Personal indeed.

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"Are you done now?"

Sanosuke sits up and wipes his eyes. "Yeah," he whispers, "I think I am."

"Good. Because you're godawful heavy and I really don't want you touching me any longer."

Barking out a shaky laugh, Sano scoots backwards, placing a good few inches between them. "Still the same as always, right, cricket man?"

"I'm sorry. Was I supposed to have a life-change in the half-hour you cried, spit, and snotted all over me?"

"I s'pose not."

"Then why ask the stupid question?"

"Dunno.." he sighs, reluctantly meeting narrowed amber eyes. He hadn't expected to weep like a goddamn female, but something about Saito made him feel like he could. Which not only was completely bizarre, but also a tad freaky of him to think.

"If you didn't fuck him, then what is the problem here? What do you need? Why am I here?"

The blunt tone has Sano wincing and his brown eyes dull with misery. Did he honestly expect Saito to be sympathetic or gentle?

Gentle? What the fuck?

"We didn't have sex...but we were going to...and then..." he trails off, heat creeping into his cheeks.

"Then?" Saitou prods, enjoying Sano's discomfort.

"...it just...it hurt trying to...put it in...and when I asked him to stop...he said okay...got dressed...and walked away...the next day he proposed to the Kaoru..." Sano hiccups and sadness fills his expression as he looks into Saitou's face, almost as if searching for some sort of comfort the older man could offer.

What? Did he hear that correctly? For once, Saitou was shocked out of his wits. Dumbfounded, mute, you name it. He kept his expression the same though as the ahou was staring at him in a particular unnerving way. What did he want?

"You...Himura was topping you?"

Sano blinks. That. That was what Saitou had focused on. Nothing else?

"Shouldn't it have been the other way around?"

"WHAT?!" he fumed. He can't believe it. What the biggest fucking asshole he'd ever laid eyes on. Why'd he ask him for help? Who was he kidding, Saitou couldn't help him. Wouldn't help him. The old geezer doesn't have any emotions. No heart. What the actual fuck, he is an idiot.

"Face it. The battousai, as strong as he is, is more feminine than anything and considering the type of relationship you were attempting, wouldn't it make more sense that you were topping him rather than him topping you?"

"That's not the point!"

"It's not?"

Seeing that Sano was on the verge of tears, again, Saitou decides to cut his quips back and focus on what his supposed duty here was. Help the boy. "I'm sorry ahou. I agreed to do a favor for you, didn't I? What do you want me to do?"

At this, Sano snaps out of his angst state and lifts his head, shooting Saitou a megawatt grin. "Actually, you're doing it."

"Doing what?"

"Helping me get over him!"

"Come again?" Suddenly standing, Saitou's aura begins to give off a whole new level of dangerous and Sano worries that his end might be near. "What am I doing?"

"Uh..helping me...get over...Kenshin?" he confesses meekly.

Murderous intent raging in his eyes, Saitou raises gloved hands to Sano's neck and is about to begin to throttle, when a voice breaks in, causing Saitou's hands to immediately drop, saving Sano from imminent death. "Sorry we're so late, Sanosuke, but we're here now."

The older woman pushes the younger woman forward and grins cheekily. "Look, Raiko, the tall one's good-looking, right? He's perfect for you."

Saitou's scorching amber eyes glare deadly into Sano's pleading chocolate ones. The ahou didn't. He did NOT.

"Surprise 'Jime," Sano grins weakly, "you're on a double date with me."