Rating: K+

Summary: It is the last season before the war. Charles Carson is away in London but left behind a birthday present for Elsie Hughes - something she had maybe hoped for but certainly not expected. What will her decision be?

Disclaimer: not at all mine. I only borrowed them for this little fanfic. They belong to Julian Fellowes and ITV.

A new little fanfic, bit of angst, bit of drama, bit of fluff. Enjoy reading.

late May 1914

Her fingers hesitantly touched the golden locket that was lying on the table in front of her, glinting in the sunlight that fell through one of the small windows in her sitting room. The surface was so smooth and felt so wonderful underneath her fingers, urging her so desperately to open it again. Yet she could not pick it up and have a closer look at it once more. The one glance she had taken yesterday night had been too much already. His absence made it even worse. Without him it was impossible for her to find answers to all the questions she had, all the fears and uncertainties that had haunted her in her dreams last night. Her fingers curled around the small piece of jewellery, holding it so tight in her now closed hand that it would most likely leave a mark on her palm. She had to feel something, had to experience at least some physical contact with him even if it was only through this precious golden locket.

Anna had handed her the present yesterday, unaware of what the little black box, wrapped in white paper and decorated with a blue silk ribbon, actually contained.

"Mr. Carson told me to give this to you at the end of the day. Happy Birthday, Mrs. Hughes." the smile on the head housemaid's face had been lovingly and warm, indicating only that she was happy for the housekeeper. Nothing more, at least Elsie hoped that this was the case.

Without any further comment she had accepted the gift with a put-on smile and sent Anna upstairs to bed while she went into his abandoned pantry to turn off the electric lights, check the lock on the silver cabinet one more time and close the window she had left open during the day. A daily routine when he was in London. The little parcel stood on his desk all the while, waiting to be opened by her. Elsie looked at it, but dared to touch it again, knowing fairly well that it would contain something special and probably even expensive. Something that she would actually love but at the same time detest because he most likely had spent a month wages on it. His presents had always been thoughtful and too expensive. In the beginning he had given her books. She had accepted them thankfully, always knowing that he had made it his personal quest to find something she liked. But after a while he had started to present specialities, like Belgian Chocolate or a bottle of the finest red wine which they would enjoy together eventually. Gradually his presents became more and more expensive. Whenever Elsie protested he silenced her in his deep voice, telling her to enjoy her special day and that it was his pleasure to make her smile and feel important for one day – as a person not just a housekeeper.

With a deep sigh she had picked up the little box and left the room to retreat to her bedroom. There was no use in staying up longer. The only person she would have liked to talk to was in London right now.

ooooo

She opened her hand. The locket had left two entwined letters imprinted on her palm that faded quickly but for a moment were clearly visible, although mirror-inverted: E and C. Elsie and Charles. The engraving was delicate and had been done with a lot of skill. He had not just been to any goldsmith but chose the best he could find. Against her decision to ignore the present for the rest of the day she held it between her thumb and index finger and let the sunbeams reflect on its surface once again. It was the finest piece of jewellery she possessed now, should she keep it.

Her thumb brushed over the clasp that held the two halves closed. How easy would it be to open it again with one petty movement, to have a look at the content any other woman would envy her for. She let the finger rest on the clasp for a few seconds before she made her final decision and put the locket back onto the table in front of her.

Last night Elsie had been curious of course, although she had expected to find something completely different inside the small box. A little porcelain figurine perhaps that would look lovely next to the other ones she had collected over the years. Or a new brooch to replace the one she had lost a while ago. As long as possible she had restrained from pulling off the blue ribbon, unwrapping the box and opening the lid. However when she had finally changed for the night, letting her hair down and braiding it into a loose plait, the room only illuminated by the warm yellow glow of a candle, she had sat down on her bed and reached out for the still wrapped box that stood waiting for her on the bedside table.

Carefully she took of the ribbon. Bright blue silk, one of her favourite colours. The white, gauzy paper followed and revealed a black velvet box. Despite the fact, that she would scold Charles Carson, as soon as he returned, for giving her such an overpriced present for what was only another birthday, she felt a bit flattered that there was this one person who took care of her. Not only as a co-worker but as a very good friend.

The velvet box made it clear that she would not find another figurine in it. Carefully and with a heart that beat a bit faster than usual she opened the box and stared at the object that it contained, her mouth slightly open from the shock. With trembling fingers she took the golden locket out and touched the engraved letters. When she tried to open it, it almost fell to the floor because she could not at all control her shaking hands. What had he thought when he had bought it? They were colleagues, friends, maybe best friends, but nothing more. At least she had always tried to convince herself that the many different sensations only he was able to evoke in her were completely normal.

When she opened the locket a little white piece of paper fell to the ground. Swiftly she picked it up, unfolded it and read the three simple words that made her hold her breath for a few seconds.

ooooo

"Good morning Mrs. Hughes. Did you enjoy your birthday yesterday?" Ana was on her way to one of the guest rooms. Another part of their daily routine during the season. There was not a lot of cleaning to be done while the family was away in London but nevertheless, windows had to be opened every morning, and closed every night.

Elsie had not seen her coming around the corner when she ascended the steps of the main staircase. She must have taken the servant's staircase that ran behind the main corridor, invisible to the eyes of the family and their guest – whenever they were at home. "Good morning Anna. We missed you at breakfast." She did not want to be confronted yet again with yesterday so she avoided the question Anna had surely asked out of politeness and instead answered with another question.

Anna looked down at her feet for a second before she faced the housekeeper. "I wasn't hungry and thought I should rather start the day early."

"Still no letter?"

Anna shook her head and tried to smile, making Elsie believe that everything was fine when it was not. There was more than a good friendship developing between the head housemaid and the valet. She had been aware of that for a while now. And although it was absolutely in her power to stop it, she did not have the heart to reprimand Anna. Especially not now when she found herself in a similar situation.

"He will write. They are only gone three weeks come tomorrow." In an effort to hide her own feelings, a smile that was supposed to look encouraging formed on her lips, but she noticed in the way Anna looked at her, that what she had tried to convey, failed. And she could not blame the girl for her next question.

"Mr. Carson's present was not what you expected then?"

A hardly audible sigh escaped her. "No, not at all, I'm afraid."

Both women avoided each other's eyes and remained silent for a while. A broken heart and a heart that was unsure what its next step should be had been left behind at the big estate. Left alone, waiting for answers to the many open questions. Whereas its keepers were hundreds of miles away probably unaware of the emotions they had evoked. Two more months had to pass until their return to Downton Abbey.

Elsie broke the silence. "You better take care of the red room next. I'll finish my rounds now."

Anna curtseyed and went her way further along the corridor in a hurried pace, eager to go back to work and her mind off.

to be continued.

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