Blond vs Blond

by Wild Colors

Miss Piggy is a participant at the World Martial arts Tournament. How will that work out? Story was written for Cassie and her 8 year old sister.

I only own my imagination. I do not own any characters in this story.

It was that time of the year again. Time for the World Martial Arts Tournament. Vegeta, Goku, Krillen, Eighteen, Trunks, Goten, Bulma, Chi Chi, Bra, Marron, and Oolong were there. This year was going to be different because Gohan, Videl, and Pan was at home sick, and Marron was actually participating this year.

"Relax Marron, you're going to do just fine," said Trunks.

"You really think so, Trunks?" asked Marron. "Afterall, this is my first tournament."

"All you have to do is relax, and have fun. Isn't that right Goten?" said Trunks.

"Uuuuuh...yeah," said Goten hesitantly.

"What does that suppose to mean?" asked Marron.

"Um, Trunks, can I have a word with you?" asked Goten.

"Sure," said Trunks. "Marron, excuse us for a minute."

"Take all the time you need," she said.

Trunks and Goten moved a couple of feet away from Marron, remaining in the same room with her.

"I don't think you should be telling her that, Trunks" said Goten.

"Why not?" asked Trunks. "I'm only trying to boost her self-esteem."

"Well do you have any idea who her first opponent is?" asked Goten.

"No," said Trunks. "Who is it?"

"Will you two shut up! I can hear everything you're saying! I'm trying to focus here!" yelled Marron.

"But don't you want to know who you're fighting?" asked Goten.

"No!" said Marron. "I'll find out when I enter the ring."

"Are you sure?...Because I heard she's good," said Goten. "Really good."

"I.. SAID.. NO!" shouted Marron.

"Fine, then! I was only trying to help," said Goten. "I heard your opponent is really tough."

"Well I'm tough too," said Marron.

"That's right! You tell him Marron!" said Trunks.

"Are these two numbskulls bothering you Marron?" asked Eighteen, entering the room.

"No, Mom, they're just trying to help," said Marron.

"EXCUSE THIS INTERRUPTION, BUT WILL THE NEXT TWO OPPONENTS COME AND ENTER THE RING," said the announcer, over the intercom.

"That's me," said Marron nervously.

"Well, we better get going," said Eighteen.

"Do your best!" yelled Goten.

"See you after the fight," said Trunks.

"See you after you win," said Eighteen.

Goten, Trunks, and Eighteen left to take their seats in the stand.

Marron walked nervously towards the ring.

"ALRIGHT EVERYONE! IT'S TIME TO GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD," said the announcer.

"Inhale...exhale...inhale...exhale," said Marron to herself.

"OUR FIRST CONTESTANT IS A REAL BEAUTY," said the announcer, winking at Marron.

"That's so sweet of him to say about me," thought Miss Piggy, "Well it is a true statement. This much beauty should be a crime."

"AND HOPING TO FOLLOW IN HER PARENTS' FOOTSTEPS," said the announcer.

"What! My parents are here! Where?!" thought Miss Piggy, as she searched the audience looking for them.

"WE HAVE THE BLOND BEAUTY..."

"Thank You, Thank You," said Miss Piggy, walking her way towards the ring.

MARRON!" yelled the announcer.

"What!" said Miss Piggy, stopping in her tracks.

Marron walked out and entered the tournament platform. The crowd went wild. The guys were whistling at her, and the women were clapping for her. "Marron..Marron..Marron" chanted the crowd.

"That's suppose to be me out there," thought Miss Piggy. "She's stealing my thunder."

When the crowd finished chanting, the announcer began to speak again.

"AND OUR SECOND CONTESTANT... WHO WAS RAISED ON A FARM"

"I was not!" said Miss Piggy.

"THE BLOND BEAST HERSELF..." said the announcer.

"Beast!" said Miss Piggy, furious.

"MISS PIGGY!" yelled the announcer.

Miss Piggy walked out and entered the tournament platform. She was blowing kisses to the audience, and was waving her beauty queen wave. "Kissy, Kissy, Kissy," said Miss Piggy.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Do you see who it is?" asked Oolong very excited, looking at Bulma, Chi Chi, and Bra.

"No, Who is that?" asked Bra.

"What do you mean 'who is that?' " said Oolong imitating Bra. "That's Miss Piggy! Everyone Knows About Her! She's been in commercials, soap operas, and movies! Isn't She Gorgeous!.. I LOVE YOU MISS PIGGY!" yelled Oolong.

"I guess it's a pig thing," mumbled Bra.

"It is not a pig thing!" said Oolong. "Miss Piggy is and was the only beauty from my village that became a huge success."

"What a sad little village," said Bra.

Back on the platform, the announcer was announcing the rules to the fight.

"AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, DO NOT KILL YOUR OPPONENT," said the announcer. "DO BOTH FIGHTERS UNDERSTAND?" he asked.

Marron got into her fighting position and shook her head yes, and Miss Piggy got into fighting position and held up a 'T' sign with her hands.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MISS PIGGY?" asked the announcer.

"Isn't it obvious, I'm calling a time out," said Miss Piggy.

"WHY?" asked the announcer. "THE FIGHT HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET."

"I know," said Miss Piggy. "But I have a problem with the comment you made earlier."

"Is this going to take long?" asked Marron. "My parents are watching."

"Wait your turn, girly. I'll get to you in a minute," said Miss Piggy, looking at Marron.

"How dare that pig tell my daughter to wait," said Eighteen, standing up. "I have half the mind to go down there."

"Please don't," said Krillen. "Remember what your Parole Officer said."

Eighteen, not wanting to risk her freedom, sat back down, and continued to watch.

The announcer turned to the judges and asked if Miss Piggy could call a time out. They told him yes since the fight hasn't started yet.

"OKAY, MISS PIGGY. THE JUDGES ARE ALLOWING THIS. WHAT COMMENT DID I MAKE TO YOU EARLIER, THAT YOU DID NOT LIKE?" said the announcer.

"You called me a blond beast!" said Miss Piggy.

"WELL BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER," said the announcer.

"I agree," said Miss Piggy. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye," said Miss Piggy, raising her fist at the announcer.

Scared and not wanting a black eye. The announcer said,"I'M SORRY MISS PIGGY, I READ THE CUE CARDS WRONG."

"What?... Where?...I don't see any cue cards," said Miss Piggy.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" chanted the audience.

"You're off the hook this time, buddy!" said Miss Piggy, looking at the announcer. "I don't want to disappoint my fans."

The announcer breathed a sigh of relief and left the platform ring.

Miss Piggy turned her attention back to Marron.

"Alright girly! There can only be one diva around here, and that's me!" said Miss Piggy.

"SHUT UP AND FIGHT YOU BOAR!" yelled Marron.

"Oh no you didn't!" said Miss Piggy.

"Oh yes I did!" said Marron.

"I know you did not just call me the 'B' word," said Miss Piggy.

"I called you a BOAR," said Marron.

"YOU DONE DID IT NOW GIRLY!" yelled Miss Piggy. "HOW DARE YOU CALL A BEAUTIFUL, SOPHISTICATED, CLASSY SWINE, SUCH AS MYSELF, A BOAR! HAVE YOU EVER MET A BOAR?! THEY'RE SO WILD AND LOOSE! THEY HAVE NO SHAME!"

"HEY, I CALL IT LIKE I SEE IT!" shouted Marron.

"PREPARE TO EAT CEMENT!" yelled Miss Piggy.

Miss Piggy went into a fit of rage and charged Marron with a flying drop kick. Marron caught Miss Piggy by the leg, spun her around, and tossed her out of the ring, making Marron the winner.

"OUR WINNER IS MARRON!" said the announcer.

"YAAAAY! I WON! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WON!" screamed Marron. "MOM, DAD, DID YOU SEE ME!...I WON!...YOUR BABY... GIRL... WON!"

"REMATCH!" yelled Miss Piggy. "I WANT A REMATCH!"

"I'M SORRY MISS PIGGY, BUT THAT IS AGAINST THE RULES," said the announcer.

"You again!" said Miss Piggy. "I've had enough of you!" Miss Piggy walked over to the announcer and said,"HI-YA!" giving him a karate chop to the stomach.

"Somebody get Hercule," said one of the judges.

"Hercule? Pishhh...Bring him out!" said Miss Piggy.

While Miss Piggy was occupied, Marron took this chance to leave the ring to unite with her family.

Moments later, Hercule entered the ring, and the crowd stood on their feet, cheering for their champion.

"I HEARD THERE WAS A PROBLEM GOING ON IN MY RING" yelled Hercule.

"This is it?..This is Hercule?" thought Miss Piggy.

"WHO IS THE ONE CAUSING PROBLEMS AROUND HERE?" asked Hercule.

"I AM!" said Miss Piggy.

"I'LL GIVE YOU TO THE COUNT OF THREE TO LEAVE, IF NOT, YOU SHALL FEEL MY WRATH," said Hercule.

"Is he kidding me?" thought Miss Piggy.

"ONE...TWO...THREE!" said Hercule.

Miss Piggy didn't move.

"MAYBE YOU DIDN'T HERE ME PIG! SO I'LL COUNT MORE SLOWLY THIS TIME... ONE...TWO...THREE..."

"HI-YA!" said Miss Piggy, giving Hercule a karate chop, that sent him flying across the platform, knocking him out.

"She knocked out the champ!" yelled a crowd member. "How could she?!" said another crowd member.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" yelled the crowd. "You knocked out our champ. What kind of dangerous animal are you?"

"Um...um...FREE DRINKS ON ME EVERYONE!" yelled Miss Piggy, not wanting the crowd to hate her.

"Free drinks?" said an old woman from the crowd. "Hercule never offered us free drinks."

"HOORAY FOR MISS PIGGY!" yelled the crowd. "WE NEVER DOUBTED YOU FOR A MINUTE!" "PIGGY... PIGGY... PIGGY," chanted the crowd.

"GET OUT THE RING OR ELSE," said one of the judges.

"OR ELSE WHAT!" said Miss Piggy. "ARE YOU GOING TO CALL SECURITY ON ME?"

"NO," said one of the judges. "WE'RE GOING TO CALL ANIMAL CONTROL!"

"Bring them on!" said Miss Piggy.

"ANIMAL CONTROL! ANIMAL CONTROL! WE HAVE AN UNCOOPERATIVE BEAST ON THE LOOSE!" said a judge, communicating with his walkie-talkie.

When Miss Piggy saw the two, huge, and muscular guys from Animal control enter the ring, she quickly fled the scene. Miss Piggy ran to the locker room to take a shower and change her clothes. When she was done, she ran out the locker room, and bumped into Vegeta.

"Watch where you're going short stuff!" said Miss Piggy, looking Vegeta up and down.

Vegeta was already irritated, and this pig just made it worst. Vegeta grinned at Miss Piggy evilly and began to form a ki ball with his hand, causing Miss Piggy to be scared.

"Do you want to say that again?" asked Vegeta.

"VEGETA! What are you doing?" asked Bulma, as she entered the room with Goten and Goku.

"I was about to teach this pig a lesson," said Vegeta.

"What kind of lesson?" asked Goten.

"The kind you don't wake up from," said Vegeta.

"Are you his owner?" asked Miss Piggy, looking at Bulma, and pointing at Vegeta.

"Um, yea, something like that," said Bulma, looking at the designer clothes and shoes Miss Piggy had on.

"What is wrong with him?...Is he getting enough fiber?" asked Miss Piggy. "Well be careful with him, Animal Control is on the loose."

"Just give me five minutes alone with her," said Vegeta.

"Leave her alone Vegeta," said Goku.

Miss Piggy walked over to Goku.

"And who is this handsome fellow?" asked Miss Piggy.

"I'm Goku," he said.

"I'm Miss Piggy, but I'm sure you already knew that."

"Stop socializing with that pig, and lets go, Kakarot" said Vegeta.

"But I'm hungry," said Goku.

"I brought lunch," said Miss Piggy. "You can join me if you want."

"What about me?" asked Goten. "Can I join you too?"

"Lunch, with two handsome men," thought Miss Piggy. "Of course you can."

Bulma and Vegeta left, while Goku and Goten stayed behind with Miss Piggy. Miss Piggy un-en-capsulated her lunch, which was enough to feed three hungry Saiyins. The three of them sat down and began eating.

"Yum, Miss Piggy, this food is so good. What do you call it again?" asked Goten.

"It's called barbeque chicken," said Miss Piggy.

"Mmmmm, it's so good," said Goku.

"The secret is in the sauce," said Miss Piggy, licking her fingers. "And to think, my husband said I made too much food."

"He call this small snack, too much!" said Goku. "No way!"

"My motto is: never eat more than you can lift," said Miss Piggy.

"That's the smartest thing I ever heard," said Goku.

"Wow Miss Piggy, you're amazing!" said Goten.

"I know," said Miss Piggy.

"What else can you make?" asked Goten.

"I also make a mean muffin," said Miss Piggy.

"Really?" asked Goten.

"Yes," said Miss Piggy.

"I wouldn't mind trying her muffins," thought Goten. "Miss Piggy, I know we barely know each other, and this might be short notice, but, can we have lunch again tomorrow?" asked Goten.

"You mean, like a date?" said Miss Piggy.

"Yes," said Goten, thinking about muffins.

"Goten, I'm flattered!" said Miss Piggy. "I know you have fallen in love with my beauty, but I am happily married."

"Please Miss Piggy! It will only be a friendly date. My dad could come too!" said Goten.

"I would love to come!" said Goku.

"Well...okay," said Miss Piggy.

"Yes!" said Goten. "We will have a picnic in the park! Miss Piggy, you will provide the wonderful food, and don't forget to bring muffins."

"Okay Goten!" said Miss Piggy. "Oh boy! He really has it bad for me," thought Miss Piggy.

Meanwhile, Bulma and Vegeta came across Chi Chi and Oolong.

"Hey Bulma," said Chi Chi. "Have you seen Goku and Goten, I made lunch for them."

"They're cheating on you!" said Vegeta.

"What?!" yelled Chi Chi, looking confused.

"No they're not," said Bulma. "They're just having lunch with a pig."

"But Oolong's right here," said Chi Chi.

"Not that pig!" yelled Vegeta. "Another pig!"

"IS IT MISS PIGGY? HUH...HUH? IS It?" asked Oolong, getting very excited.

"Calm down! And, Yes!" said Bulma.

"Take me to them," said Oolong.

Elsewhere Bra was looking for her parents, when she stumbled across Goku and Goten having lunch with Miss Piggy. She was going to ignore them, but something caught her eye. Bra ran over to where they were.

"Hi Goku! Hi Goten!" said Bra.

"Hi Bra!"

"Who's your friend?" she asked, looking at Miss Piggy.

"Uh-oh!...Another jealous female," thought Miss Piggy.

"This is Miss Piggy," said Goten.

"Hi Miss Piggy! How are you?" asked Bra.

"I'm fine! What brings you over here?" asked Miss Piggy.

"I couldn't help but notice the designer shoes you have on. Where did you get them?" asked Bra.

"When you're a huge star like moi, people give you things," said Miss Piggy.

"You don't understand Miss Piggy! I've looked everywhere for those shoes and haven't been able to find them anywhere!"

"Not my problem!" said Miss Piggy.

"I want those shoes, Pig! There's no way you could possibly afford them!" yelled Bra.

"I'll have you know, I have a platinum credit card, with an unlimited line of credit," said Miss Piggy. "I can afford them if I want too, but like I said before, when you're a huge star like moi, people give you things."

"So in other words: those are a knockoff brand," said Bra.

"Don't...insult...the...shoes!" said Miss Piggy, getting upset.

"And there's no way you're a huge star!" said Bra.

"Those are fighting words! Do you want a piece of me!" said Miss Piggy.

"Miss Piggy, calm down, she's always like this," said Goten. "And Bra, can you leave, you're upsetting Miss Piggy."

"I can't believe you're taking her side Goten!" yelled Bra, as she stormed off.

Goten was not going to let anything ruin his lunch date with Miss Piggy tomorrow. After Bra left, Goku, Goten, and Miss Piggy continued to enjoy their lunch.

In the meantime Trunks, Krillen, Eighteen, and Marron, came across Bulma, Vegeta, Chi Chi, and Oolong. Bulma told Trunks, Eighteen, Krillen, and Marron, that she was taking Chi Chi and Oolong to meet up with Goku and Goten, who was having lunch with Miss Piggy. Trunks, Krillen, Eighteen, and Marron, decided to tag-a-long with Bulma, Chi Chi, Oolong, and Vegeta.

Goku, Goten, and Miss Piggy finished their lunch.

"Missy Piggy, that was the best lunch I ever had, thank you!" said Goten, hugging Miss Piggy.

"MISS PIGGY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" yelled Kermit The Frog, watching the whole scene.

"KERMIT! I-UH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" yelled Miss Piggy.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT AM I DOING HERE? I CAME TO WATCH YOU FIGHT!" yelled Kermit.

"WELL THE FIGHT IS OVER!" yelled Miss Piggy.

"SORRY I'M LATE! I CAME HERE AS FAST AS I COULD. DID YOU WIN?" asked Kermit.

"OF COURSE I DID!" lied Miss Piggy.

"HEEEY! WAIT A MINUTE! DID YOU GIVE THEM MY LUNCH?!" shouted Kermit, looking at Goku and Goten.

"YES!" said Miss Piggy. "AT LEAST THESE TWO APPRECIATED IT!"

"IT WASN'T THE LUNCH!" said Kermit. "THESE TWO WERE ONLY MESMERIZED BY YOUR BEAUTY! HOW COULD YOU FALL FOR SUCH A TRAP?!"

"Oh Kermie!" said Miss Piggy, thinking it's sweet that Kermit is jealous. "I'm sorry," she said.

"It's okay, geez! I can't leave you alone for a minute without some guy trying to flirt with you," said Kermit.

"I'll be more careful," said Miss Piggy.

"Anyway, lets go Miss Piggy, or do you have to stay and receive an award for winning your fight?" asked Kermit.

"Just this once, I'll give up my award just to be with you," said Miss Piggy.

Goku and Goten watched, as Miss Piggy and Kermit the frog made up.

"Bye Goku! Bye Goten!" said Miss Piggy.

"Wait Miss Piggy!" yelled Goten. "Are we still having our lunch date tomorrow?"

"NO!" yelled Kermit.

"Let me handle this Kermit," said Miss Piggy. "Goten, I'm sorry, but I can't see you anymore. It's not you, it's me. I know you will never ever find anyone as amazing, beautiful, and talented as me. It's a shame! Too bad there's only one of me. Try not to be too sad."

"But Miss Piggy!" said Goten.

"And one more thing!" said Kermit. "You two stay away from my wife!"

With that being said, Miss Piggy and Kermit left the tournament. Shortly afterwards, Trunks, Krillen, Eighteen, Marron, Chi Chi, Bulma, Vegeta, and Oolong, came to where Goku and Goten were. They all noticed Goten crying.

"What's wrong with you, Goten?" asked Marron.

"I have a broken heart," said Goten, thinking about all the wonderful food he won't be able to taste tomorrow on his picnic with Miss Piggy, especially, the muffin.

Everyone looked at Goku.

"Don't ask," he said. "I'm sad too!"

Goku is sad too, since he was supposed to go on the picnic as well.

"What's this I hear about you two having lunch with Miss Piggy?" asked Chi Chi.

"It's too soon to say her name Mom, it's too soon," said Goten.

Oolong was disappointed that he didn't get to meet Miss Piggy in person, and everyone else went looking for Bra. Bra was found, and the tournament continued with the winner being Vegeta.

The End

A/C: Today's letters was brought to you by the letters T and B, and today's number was brought to you by 18, just kidding, I know this isn't Sesame Street. Anyway, I hope you and your sister like your story Cassie. Although you said it didn't have to be good because you and you sister like doing the voices, I still hope you find it enjoyable. Thank You For Reading!