AN: I own nothing. This was a Role Play with a friend of mine, where she played Gilbert, and I played Matthew.
TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDER; CUTTING; ATTEMPTED SUICIDE; HOMOSEXUALITY; HOMOPHOBIA; VIOLENCE; TEEN PREGNANCY; CHARACTER DEATH. This is an angst filled story with some fluff sprinkled in.
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Gilbert Beilschmidt looked over the city- his city. He seemed to be the only one awake, legs draped over his apartment's thick balcony walls and a lit cigarette placed between his chapped lips. There were barely any lights on in the small town, everybody was asleep for their first day of school... everyone but him. His phone was silent in his pocket, and his thoughts were raging. This was his senior year, this was the big one before he went to the military. Just thinking about being in the army, wearing camo and flying a fighter jet, got Gilbert excited. He'd thought long and hard about this, and knew it was the right decision. Gilbert jumped, startled, when his phone buzzed. He picked it up, looking at his text messages.
FrancisAmore: Think any hot students r coming this year?
AwesomeGil: Ha! None 4 u
2Mato: Dont need 1 I got Lovi 3
AwesomeGil: He doesnt even like u
2Mato: Yes he does
FrancisAmore: If he did, hed be banging u right now
2Mato: how do u know he isnt?
AwesomeGil: I just do
FrancisAmore: How would u know that if u never got any1 bangin u?
AwesomeGil: Shut up
2Mato: No, really. U havent been dating since that 'roderich' thing
FrancisAmore: And he wuz such a prude
AwesomeGil: Fine, ill try 2 date this year
FrancisAmore: well help u get started. Just listen 2 Dr. Love
AwesomeGil: Shut up with ur stupid names
FrancisAmore: Fine. 2 get u started...
FrancisAmore: I dare u to ask out some1 u wouldnt ever ask out
AwesomeGil: wtf? Are u crazy?
FrancisAmore: No. Im smart. U cant pass this dare or ill tell every1 ur a virgin
AwesomeGil: Nein! You cant do that, im too awesome!
~1:27 AM FrancisAmore has left the chat~
Gilbert sighed, turning off his phone and pocketing it again. Somewhere, an ambulance siren wailed, matching how Gilbert was feeling now. He couldn't be embarrassed in front of everyone with his virginity, but he wasn't just going to 'ask someone out' on the first day of school. He stood up, walking back into the apartment he shared with his younger brother. Tossing his cigarette on the floor and stamping it out with the toe of his combat boot, Gilbert decided that he needed a good sleep to decide this. After all, school started at eight thirty in the morning, and he'd need to be up earlier than that or have to go with his brother and his loud Italian friend, which was very embarrassing.
Gilbert blinked groggily, his phone's alarm going off right in his ear. "Fuck. I don't wanna get up," he hissed, tossing the device across the room. It thudded on his carpet and kept blaring, every piercing note a punch in the face. Defeated, Gilbert threw off his covers and emerged from his bed, wearing only a week old pair of boxers. He waded through piles of clothes and papers to get his phone, turning it off. After a freezing shower and a quick breakfast, Gilbert set off for school. In front of his high school, he met his two best friends, Francis and Antonio. Immediately, Francis repeated the dare he'd given Gilbert previously. At that moment, Gilbert decided to take it. It might not help, but it couldn't hurt too much. Plus, turning down a dare was against Gilbert's awesome Prussian code of honor.
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Matthew was a morning person. Plain and simple. Matthew loved the mornings. It never failed, come dawn, he would be on the roof of his home, watching the sun rise. His twin brother, Alfred, on the other hand, was a night owl to the very core. The only exception to this rule is Christmas morning, and the first day of school.
Matthew hated school! He loved to learn, but school was about so much more then learning, and he hated it. Alfred started each school year, by jumping on Matthew's bed, while Mathew was still in it. Mathew calls that 'the point of no return,' because that's when he knows he has to go to school. Matthew was awoken by said jumping, and called out for his brother to stop thrice, before Alfred finally heard him. "Good, your up!" Alfred had yelled, while climbing off Matthew and running out of the room, and down the stairs.
Matthew sighed, and crawled out of bed. He made his way to his closet, and managed to get dressed in some jeans, with a red maple leaf sewn onto the back pockets, purple tank top, so he wouldn't overheat, and a large red hoodie, with a white leaf on the front. Matthew quickly brushed his hair, that was so much like his father's it was hard to tell he was half Cree, and made his way down stairs.
Matthew's father had gone to work at the bank early today, leaving their mother to see Alfred, and him off to school. Matthew slowly ate his meagre vegan breakfast, despite Alfred's displeasure at the speed, and went to feed his pet polar bear. Yes. He has a polar bear. Kumajiru was a very well behaved bear. Matthew took good care of him, and he was much better then a guard dog, that's for sure.
He nearly missed his mother's kiss on the cheek, as his brother dragged him out of the house, and to the school. Once they were at school, Alfred went to his friends, while Mathew... Well, he had friends. Just not a whole lot... Matthew in fact had three friends. One, Michelle, had moved away last year. Another, Elizavetha, had lots of other friends to be with, and probably some skirt chaser to wack. And then there was...
"Matthew!" A distinctly Russian, female voice came from behind Mathew. He turned around, to be nearly smothered in his friend Kat's breasts. She soon let him go, but still tried to make conversation about the summer. Matthew was less enthusiastic.
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Gilbert was standing with his friends now, talking about everyone who wasn't taken. The prospects didn't look good for Gil, who had started smoking another cigarette out of both boredom and anxiety, though he would never admit to feeling the latter. A battle was going on in the self-named Prussian's mind now, whether or not to do the dare. Being a virgin really wasn't that bad, but it would disappoint his classmates, all of whom thought he'd fucked more guys than a gay pornstar. But waiting for the right one to come would make him seem all goody-goody. Gilbert's thoughts were interrupted by Francis hitting his shoulder
"Fuck, Francis. What do you want?" Gilbert asked, balancing his cigarette between perfectly straight teeth. Francis didn't speak, just pointed wildly like a mime. "What?" Gilbert was getting impatient with his friend's behaviour.
"That. That's my cousin. Go! Go talk to him!" Francis grabbed Gilbert's broad shoulders and shoved him at a blonde kid who was talking to a girl with giant boobs. Gil found himself alone, awkwardly standing in front of the kid. He wanted to look cool, so he assumed a cool position, relaxing his posture and crossing his arms, holding his cigarette between two fingers.
"Hey, so..." Gilbert didn't exactly know what to say, just that he wasn't going to mess this up. "Do you wanna go out with me?" Gilbert tried to sound nonchalant, but knew that he was an idiot. The kid was probably going to turn out straight, what was the use? Plus, he was apparently Francis' cousin, so it woud be awkward for him to say yes.
Matthew had been having a nice discussion with Kat about how American health care sucked, when they were rudely interrupted by someone trying to flirt with Kat, or so Matthew thought. Kat held up a hand and finished her statement, "And the insurance won't pay for surgery, so I'm stuck with large chest until we come up with money, that we don't have! I'm sick of this pain! There's so much weight in front, it's giving me hunch back! I can't do it any more..."
A large boy with a pink scarf called for Kat to come inside the school, and she said, "brother want me in, Mattie. I must go..." Mathew nodded, and accepted the kiss on both cheeks from Kat, before waving goodbye to her, as she went in. He finally looked at the boy who had interrupted them, confused as to why he hadn't followed Kat after asking her out. That's when he saw who it was. Gilbert Beilschmidt! Matthew's cousin was in his group, and he was definitely gay, so he wasn't talking to Kat.
Matthew looked around for any other guy he could have been talking to only to find they were alone. His eyes widened as he got the crazy notion that the albino had actually noticed him, and asked him out. It was crazy, but just to be sure, he asked, in almost a whisper, "I-I'm sorry... But... W-were you talking to m-me?"
"Ja, I was talking to you. Like I said, do you wanna go out with me?" Gilbert's voice sounded slightly bored, not even in the least betraying what he was feeling. Francis had had a lot of bad ideas in the past; painting Gilbird green, getting a tattoo, spray painting a crude drawing of male genitalia on the side of the school, but never something like this. Right now, Gilbert felt stupid. Plus, he felt bad for the big-tit lady. She was so obviously with Francis' scrawny cousin. Gilbert could very plainly see her smothering him in 100% Russian breast meat and practically making out with his cheeks. Gilbert knew this girl's brther, and they didn't get along well. If Ivan saw Gilbert trying to hook up with his sister's boyfriend, he'd meet the same fate as anyone else who got in his way. To fill the awkward silence, Gilbert ran a hand through his snowy white hair, simultaneously flattening and messing it up.
Matthew's eyes widened, and he almost smiled, before another possibility crossed his mind. Matthew's gaze went to the ground, and he pointed towards Alfred. His voice whispered out, slightly bitter, and even a little disgusted, "are you sure you're not looking for him... We're twins... I'm Matthew... You're probably looking for Alfred..." Matthew's voice grew exasperated, and a little pathetic, as he struggled to hold back tears of self hate. He has already convinced himself that Gilbert couldn't possibly want him. Nobody wanted him. They only wanted Alfred. Matthew grew quickly disgusted with himself, as he feared he had gained weight, and therefore was easily mistaken for his fat, lazy brother. His whisper had grown frantic in its attempt to fight off tears, as he continued, "I'm going to save you the trouble and tell you he's straight, and taken... He gets a little bi-curious now and then, and I'll be sure to put a good word in for you next time he does..."
"Hey... no, I was looking for you. As in um..." Gilbert tried to remember the kid's name, but he just couldn't, even though Francis had told him it before. "As in you, Birdie," Gilbert decided to call Francis' cousin Birdie. He looked so much like one, fragile and delicate. His sweatshirt hung off his arms like a pair of wings, and he looked ready to fly off. "Hey, hey, don't cry," Gilbert looked at Birdie, alarmed. He hadn't said something wrong, had he? This was Francis' fault, he'd forced Gil into this, now he had to get him out of this. Pretending he was going to stamp out his cigarette, Gil turned around, glaring at Francis. Gilbert's friend merely shrugged then turned around. Gil was on his own now.
Matthew was shocked to say the least. He stared at Gilbert for a wile, before the realization that Gilbert was actually asking HIM out dawned on him. He allowed himself a small smile, and he whispered, "I-I'd love to... If the offer s-still stands..."
Matthew had never been asked out before, and didn't know exactly what to do, but figured Gilbert would know. He was pretty sure that the albino had forgotten his name, but that was okay, because Gilbert noticed him. Matthew felt happy to be noticed, but also felt that he wasn't ready for a date. He felt too fat and ugly. He felt like a carbon copy of his brother, and he hated it. Still, Gilbert had chosen to notice him, and not Alfred, so he must be doing something right.
"Um... yeah. We should go out. Do you wanna go to lunch or something sometime? I guess we could get something quick during lunch hour today. We'd have to walk since... um... I don't have a car," Gilbert wasn't exactly going to say that he had a DUI, since he didn't want to sour Birdie's impression of him even more. Gilbert understood why Francis had shoved him at his cousin. The kid looked on the verge of tears, and he was so tiny that even the faintest breeze would probably make him flop around like a plastic bag caught in the wind. "Hey, Birdie, are you okay? I mean, you look like a ghost," Gilbert knew he was probably just making the kid nervous, but he just wanted to check. If this was going to be his boyfriend, he'd have to look out for him, and probably not intimidate him as much.
Matthew panicked a little on the inside, at the thought of eating with Gilbert. He wanted to, but he didn't want to get fatter, and as often as he did it, he hated making himself sick to get it out. There was a time when he just stopped eating, but his family caught on quickly that he wasn't eating, and he was put in the hospital. They didn't let him out till he was as fat as his twin. After that he only ate in front of his family, and made himself sick later to get it out. He didn't want to do that with Gilbert, but he could.
Matthew nodded, and whispered, "I'd love too... A-and I'm fine... J-just a little shocked is all..."
"Okay, so when do you wanna go. I'm free basically always. If we did after school, we could maybe get coffee," Gilbert thought going to lunch was a little much for a first date, he didn't have any intention to scare Birdie off. Francis would probably be proud that Gilbert had gone through with his challenge. At least now, the whole school wouldn't think he was a virgin. When he got a good look at Birdie, the smaller man was actually quite cute. His eyes were adorably big, and he looked so small and meek, like a baby bird still in it's nest. Maybe Francis had had a good idea. Gilbert would just have to wait and see.
Matthew breathed a sigh of relief at the new idea. "Coffee sounds great..." He said, a little louder then he had been speaking. Matthew enjoyed talking to Gilbert, but was a little anxious to get inside so he could get his breakfast out of his system before classes started. He shifted from foot to foot, hugging his body, showing off how much bigger the hoodie was then him.
"I-if you want to, we could still spend lunch together... Kat's brother likes her eating with him, and Elizavetha has been preoccupied with her new boyfriend, so... I-I'll have no one to sit with..." Matthew added in a whisper. He wouldn't eat of course, but the school lunch gave him an excuse.
"Sure. Where should I meet you?" Gil pulled out his phone, opening up the contacts folder and setting it to make a new one. He handed his phone to Birdie. "Put in your number, 'kay?" he said. He wanted to keep in touch with his probably-boyfriend, and possibly drunk-text him at 3 in the morning. Gilbert was honestly quite surprised with how smoothly things were going with Birdie. Although, he did look anxious about something. Gilbert wanted to make sure he was alright, but he didn't want to seem like a worrywart. Birdie was probably fine... maybe just nervous?
Matthew smiled and put his information in Gilbert's phone. Matthew then got his own phone out, putting Gilbert into his own phone. He handed the phone back to Gilbert, and sent an experimental text to him, answering his question.
Matthew/Birdie: We could meet outside of the music room? It's close, and the music teacher usually pulls some strings so I'm in her class right before lunch.
Gilbert looked at his phone, smiling. Birdie seemed like the type of person who would be in the music room. "Do you play an instrument?" Gilbert asked. He used to play the electric guitar, but had stopped when his brother got mad about the noise.
Matthew smiled at the approval for their meeting place, but blushed when asked about his musical ability. "I-I play the cello... A-and I'm our only male soprano, in the choir..."
Gilbert put his phone back in his pocket and took off his backpack, searching for his laptop. He took it out, looping his headphones around his neck. "Hey, I'd better get to class, I've got Dr. Vargas next, and he doesn't like it if I'm late. Gilbert knew that Dr. Vargas liked him somewhat, especially since his grandson was dating Gilbert's younger brother, Ludwig. But Dr. Vargas never made exceptions for anybody, always sending anyone even a few seconds after the bell to lunch detention.
Matthew was a little upset to end the conversation, but was happy he could go and expel his breakfast. He nodded his understanding about Gilbert, and Dr. Vergas.
Gilbert waved as he jogged away, holding his laptop under his arm. He ran to class, plopping down inbetween Francis and Antonio seconds before the bell rang. He opened his laptop, pulling up e-mail.
AwesomeGil : Hey, I talked to Matthew and we're going on a date! I kinda think this might work. He's scrawny, but he's cute!
FrancisAmore : See! Told u it would work, u even got a nickname 4 him! Doctor Love is always right!
Gilbert looked up, pulling up a new document. It was only the first day of school, and he already had to take notes!
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Matthew ran to the bathroom, and locked himself in a stall, before shoving his fingers down his throat, and vomiting up the undigested parts of his breakfast. Matthew felt disappointed that he only got up a small portion of his meager breakfast, but glad he hadn't let the rest of it add to his likeness of Alfred.