Dean said goodnight to Sam and dragged his feet to his room. He sighed as he sat heavily on his bed and rubbed up and down his face with his hands.

"Cas, come on. Where are you?"

Dean glanced around the room. Nothing. He swung his feet up onto the bed and his head hit the pillow behind him. But sleep eluded him like it had done every night since the incident with the angel. The more Dean thought about it, the lonelier he felt. Surely Cas hadn't meant to say goodbye forever. Right? No. Of course he hadn't. As if on cue, Dean felt a rush of wind in his room and a flutter of wings.

Cas stood in the corner and, through the dark, Dean couldn't make him out properly. There was no "hello, Dean" and the hunter sensed something was not right about this situation. He felt fear in his chest tighten but he pushed himself off the bed and stood.

"Cas?"

A croaky "Hello, Dean" escaped the angel.

With a shaking hand, Dean flicked on the lamp. The small lamp filled the room and lit up the angel's face clearly. Tear tracks stained his cheeks and the knot in Dean's chest screwed up even tighter.

"Cas, what's wrong? What happened?" he asked, stepping towards the other man.

"I… I…"

"What?" he asked, now inches away from the angel.

"I saw Heaven. What I did."

Dean swallowed heavily and whispered, "Why?"

"I needed to see, Dean. The destruction I caused and the mess I made… I…" Cas stopped and moved around Dean. He faced the bedside table and the angel sword appeared out of his sleeve. "I think…"

"No, Cas," Dean rushed out, crossing over to his friend's side.

The angel didn't look up once but his turned the blade over in his fingers then slowly and very gently set it down on the table. His back was still to Dean and there was an ache that wouldn't go away inside him.

"What did you see?" Dean asked quietly.

Cas turned to face him and looked around the room. He looked around the half-covered walls, to the bed, the picture of Mary and then the chair that sat not three feet away from Dean's bed. The angel's stare finally hit Dean and he felt a little embarrassed that he had left the chair there hoping for Cas in the first place. But, before Dean could say anything, the angel brushed past him and sat in the chair with his back slightly hunched and hands clasped together.

It was almost like a wave of relief had crashed into Dean but he sat on the end of his bed to face his angel. Their knees almost touched but there was still a little space blocking any contact. The gravelly voice broke the silence that hung in the air.

"There were Heavens that I had destroyed. People's own Heavens. I had killed hundreds of angels. My own brothers and sisters and the looks I received… I…" He paused and glanced over at the sword that sat on the table next to the picture of Dean and Mary. There was a faint smile on his lips for a second then his face fell. "I was close to…"

"No."

"I nearly…"

"Cas."

"If you had not have called when you did then-"

"Cas," Dean interrupted. "I've been prayin' for weeks. Why didn't you just come down?" He was earnest and leaning forward, trying to meet the angel's eyes.

"Naomi had told me… She said… I was a helpful tool. To you. I had my doubts. I just thought that…" The angel looked up from his clenched hands that were now being held by Dean's and said, "I didn't deserve your help after what I did to you."

Dean leaned forward more so their knees were finally touching. "Fuck Naomi! I know she was lying, Cas. Believe me. You mean more to me than just a tool." He spat the word. "I wouldn't be able to live without you, Cas. I've been goin' crazy these past few weeks! At least I knew that you were alive when you left. You can't ever do somethin' like that to me, Cas. Not after all we've been through."

His hands squeezed the angel's own and Cas looked down at them.

"Dean…"

"Please. Never do that. Not to me."

The angel bent his head forward more and Dean did the same. Their foreheads were touching and a smile broke out on Dean's face. His hand came up to Cas' neck and he closed his eyes, the other one still closed around the angel's own hand.

"Damn it, I just got you back. I want you to just… stay. For once."

Both men looked up at the same time and the hunter swore his heart might have stopped for a moment. There were tears in the angel's impossibly blue eyes. They quickly glanced down at his lips and Dean caught it so, without wasting anymore time, he leaned in and crushed their lips together. Cas was clearly not practiced but that made Dean love it even more. It took a few moments until a rhythm was built but then they settled and broke apart, their foreheads still touching and eyes still closed. A frown made a slash in Dean's brow and he bit his lip.

"Please… don't leave me again. I need you."

The angel's hand rested on Dean's that was lying on his cheek still and he smiled slightly.

"Please, Cas."

There must have been something in the way he pleaded because Cas pulled apart from Dean for a second and tugged the trench coat over his shoulders and put it over the back of the chair. He then moved to sit next to Dean on his bed and looked at him.

"I won't."

Dean chuckled. "There's somethin' odd about seeing you without that thing on." Cas looked almost worried. "But I think I could get used to it," he added. "After all this is over with the gates of Hell and the tablets, we're gonna settle. I can already use the kitchen and-" He stopped as he noticed Cas looking at him with a fond gleam in his eyes. "What?"

"You've already settled well in here, Dean."

"Yeah… But, er, I could use some more company. Y'know, when Sammy eventually finds someone?"

"But what if you want to find someone too, Dean?"

Dean shut his eyes as a smile crept across his lips again. He sighed but then laughed. Cas really was the most clueless angel. Pausing as he noticed how truly puzzled Cas actually was, he turned to face him on the bed and cupped his cheek in his hand.

"You really don't know?" he asked and, as if in a response, he saw a blush creep into the angel's cheeks. "So you do."

"I've… I've had doubts."

Dean leaned forward then and kissed him with more force than before. Both hands were on each side of his face pulling him closer and he could feel soft hands on his waist. One of his hands tangled in the hair on the back of the angel's head and Dean broke apart from him.

He his eyebrows in question and Cas nodded as though he finally understood.