A Different Way to Change
Edwards POV
I smoothed my shirt as I heard the car pull up outside. A few parting words were muttered before the car wheels crunched as they turned back to the freeway. I stepped up to the front door with excitement in my unused stomach to welcome my Bella. She had spent the day shopping with Angela to get a break from the vampire world and be human for a while. The footsteps outside reached the door and before she had time to raise her hand I swept it open, my crooked grin in place. At the sight of me her entire face lit up. As she swept her hair back I caught her scent. There was something different in it today, her blood more prominent. I thought nothing of it; perhaps it was just that time of month, as I used a hand on her waist to pull her inside. Everyone else was outside, playing lawn tennis or just enjoying the sunshine, so I continued pulling Bella towards me until our faces were inches apart. I enjoyed the sound of her heart accelerating while her sweet breath caressed my face. Holding her chocolate gaze I pressed my lips to hers. I took less than a millisecond for this innocent kiss to distort my world.
The taste of Bella's blood spread over my tongue. The suddenness of the attack and my lack of preparation broke down the barriers in my mind that kept the beast in me at bay. He leapt forth, destroying control, and possessed me. Hands in her hair, I pulled Bella's face to mine. Taking her whole, bleeding bottom lip in my mouth I sucked until impatience got the best of me. I bit down on her lip, breaking the skin, so overcome I could not feel her delicate hands pushing against my chest with barely the strength of a butterfly. Venom flowed in my mouth as it was filled with her luscious blood. I kissed down her jaw until I reached the side of her neck. Basking in the warmth from her beating pulse I bit through the skin and moaned at the taste and feel of her blood streaming down my parched throat. By this time Bella's whimpers had gained volume and she was screaming at the top of her lungs. In a corner of my mind, the place where my sanity had taken shelter, I was in agony over the pain I was causing my wonderful Bella, my world. But The Beast saw no reason, felt no passion, and he kept ravaging my darling's throat.
What felt like hours later, but was barely a second, I felt large stone hands ripping me from Bella, throwing me across the room. It seemed The Beast had control of my body too for I fought against the arms that bound me and the bodies that pinned me to the floor. My head was thrashing and loud snarls were erupting from my chest. My captors were also snarling.
Bit by bit I returned to myself. Thoughts that The Beast had suppressed, other's thoughts, echoed through my head.
"Oh no, Bella!"
"She looks terrible..."
"I wonder what happened..."
"He's going to kill himself for this..."
"There's only one way..."
The thoughts helped me return to myself but returning meant facing the torture of what I'd done. I relocated my voice and screamed.
"WHAT HAVE I DONE? MY BELLA! SAVE HER!" An urgent voice responded to me but his words did nothing to ease the pain.
"Edward, there is only one way. I must change her now or she will die. Edward, please."
It took me no time at all to reply, I already knew the answer. This wasn't how I wanted it to happen but I had no choice, I could not loose my Bella again.
"Carlisle, do it now. Hurry." I lifted my head to see my father crouching over my love. She already looked dead, lying in a pool of her own blood. Blood that I had let flow from her fragile body. It was my fault, all my fault. Self loathing rose in my chest and took over my entire being. I started thrashing again; desperate to be alone somewhere I couldn't hear the accusation in their thoughts. A strangled cry slipped between my lips.
"Let me go"
But the restraining hands tightened, holding me still. I knew tears would be cascading down my cheeks were my monstrous body able. My throat had closed and I wanted to be sick. Jasper seemed to feel my emotions and, realising I just wanted to leave, signalled Emmett and they both let go, hovering anxiously in case I changed my mind. I darted to the door and looked back. My last view was of Carlisle lying over an unmoving Bella. His lips were moving up from her wrist. I knew he was biting her but it still made me angry to see him touch her like that and I threw myself out the backdoor before Jasper started to worry. The moment my feet hit the ground I was off. Moving as fast as I was able, I flashed through the forest not knowing or caring about my direction.
It didn't work. No matter how far or fast I went I couldn't rid myself of that image of her lying still on the floor. In blood. Her blood. Everything overcame me and I stopped abruptly crumbling to the forest floor. With my head in my hands I realised my mistake. I was supposed to be back at the house holding Bella's hand through the pain she would undoubtedly be in. I shot back up and unerringly found my way back to the big white house in the forest. Leaping through the door I was met by Esme who was cleaning the floor with straight bleach. Without saying a word she nodded at the stairs and I thanked her before leaping up them, two at a time. I found the unconscious Bella in my room, laid on my sofa and surrounded by the rest of my family minus Jasper who still wasn't great with blood, but had managed to use his focus on me to keep control downstairs.
"Oh Bella. I'm so sorry. What have I done? I understand if you hate me now. Truly I do. If you want to leave I won't stop you, I promise." As I spoke I drifted forward, my family parting to let me through. I didn't speak to anyone as the left one-by-one. I just knelt next to my Bella, staring at her minutely changing face. This was a much different way to change than we had planned.