"It was a normal morning at Yorozuya" Shinpachi narrated, "Gin-san and-" He is interrupted by a swift kick in the back by both Kagura and Gintoki.
"Oi. What do you think you're doing megane?" Gintoki asked staring down at Shinpachi. Both he and Kagura had an evil look in their eyes. "This is the same bland start of every fanfiction in existence. We promised excitement in this story not shit like this."
"What are you talking about Gin-san?" Shinpachi said as he rubbed his back. "Didn't you read any of this author's script he gave us? This story is supposed to play on fanfiction cliches like the anime plays on anime cliches."
"Eh? Really?" Gintoki blinked in confusion.
"Don't tell me you didn't read the script?" Shinpachi said angrily, his glasses icing over.
"W-w-what are you talking about Patsuan. O-o-of course we read the script." Gintoki stammered having obviously not read the script. "R-r-right Kagura?"
"Gin-chan. I accidentally used the script as toilet paper. What do I do?" Kagura whispered to Gintoki.
"Toilet paper!?" He whispered screamed. "How do you accidentally wipe your ass with a script?"
Before she can answer they are interrupted by Shinpachi clearing his throat and cracking his knuckles. "This is why we don't have even 5 thousand fanficts!" He screamed, an aura of flames surrounding him as he charged up to punch them.
"Oi calm down Patsuan!" Gintoki yelled with sweat dripping from him.
"Hey shut it you dirty megane, yes!" Kagura yelled while flipping the bird.
Sadaharu barked in worry as he watched the familiar scene of his three masters lining up to beat each other. Luckily the doorbell rang at that exact moment stopping the three in their tracks and turning towards the door. A letter slid underneath the door into the apartment.
"Ah!" Shinpachi rubbed his head. "See, now we missed the brilliant opening the author wrote and have to jump right into the plot."
Kagura ignored him and walked over to the letter. "It's from Papi!" She exclaimed before opening the letter.
"Umibouzu? What does that baldy have to do with this story?" Gintoki said as he walked over behind Kagura to read the letter.
Dear Kagura-chan,
How are you doing? I recently visited a planet that contained only bald people. I had such a good time there since I was of course the only person who was not bald. They kept saying I was wearing a wig but I could tell they were just jealous of my hair. I had to leave because they were getting a little too hostile.
Now that I think about it I have visited many places that call my hair a wig just out of spite since I am of course not bald. Well I guess I will just have to live with that while not being bald.
With love,
Your Papi with luscious hair.
P.S.
I heard this rumor recently about a very dangerous man on his way to Earth. He is a man of legend and destruction on par or maybe even exceeding my own. If the rumors are true that he is heading there be very careful. If you see a man with gold and blue eyes run away at all cost. He is beyond deadly.
The Yorozuya trio stood over the letter in silence before breaking it with a yell. "What the hell?! That damn baldy filled the letter with lies and left the important part for the P.S.!" Gintoki yelled.
"If I see the shit baldy again I'll rip every hair off his body!" Kagura yelled about to rip up the letter.
"Wait!" Shinpachi shouted and pointed. "There's more!"
P.P.S.
I heard that wigs are made better if they are made from a family member's hair so if you could help Papi out and send me some of your hair Kagura-chan. Oh and I'm not bald this is for a friend.
The three one again stood in silence before Kagura silently ripped up the letter, walked over to the bathroom, and flushed it.