"Rachel, I have something to tell you." I heard my girlfriend say as she walked up to the table I was sitting at in the lunchroom. "Alone." She added pointing behind her. I smiled and stood up to follow her. My smile dropped when I noticed she looked close to tears.
"What's wrong, babe?" I said worried and putting my arm on her shoulder.
"I'm pregnant." My hand dropped and I laughed.
"I know I'm good, but I've learned enough biology to know that's not possible unless . . ." then the truth hit me like a shot in the stomach. "Who's the father?"
"I'm sorry, Rachel; it was a mistake." She apologized with tears running down her cheeks.
"Who?" I asked needing to know.
"Puck." She feebly answered and I walked away ignoring her calls of my name. I walked around the whole school thinking about all that I had given Quinn. She was my first everything. First kiss, first girlfriend, first date and most of all she was the first person I slept with. I thought that meant something, but apparently it hadn't if she was willing to cheat on me. When I started to cry I decided to leave the school knowing I couldn't concentrate in my classes anyways and made the short walk to my house. Neither of my dad's were home so I walked upstairs and climbed into my bed and sobbed without any interruptions. I woke up two hours later to the doorbell going off repeatedly. I tried to ignore it, knowing exactly who it was. She didn't stop so I got up and angrily marched down the stairs and flung open the door.
"Go away, Quinn." I spat before slamming the door in her face. I turned around and headed to the stairs before another ring hit my ears. I felt more tears spring to my eyes and tried to stop them as I walked back to the door and opened it. "You're going to break the doorbell and my dad won't be happy." I said as calmly as I could without bursting into tears.
"Then talk to me." Her voice sounded more vulnerable than I'd ever heard it and before I could stop myself I was stepping to the side to let her in.
"Make it fast." I said when we'd walked into the living room.
"Rachel, I'm so sorry. It was a mistake." She started and I interrupted her.
"You said that at school. Just tell me why'd you do it? I thought you were happy with me."
"I was. I got drunk because I thought I was losing you and Puck was just there." I laughed but felt my heart ache at her words.
"So you slept with Puck because you were drunk and he was there?" I asked wanting to clarify what she said.
"Because I thought you liked Finn." She yelled and I noticed she was shaking. My anger got the best of me.
"Don't blame me for you sleeping with Puck. I told you nothing is going on with Finn. We hardly talk unless it's about Glee."
"I saw the look you gave him while you guys sang." I rolled my eyes.
"Quinn, we had to do that and as I've already told you I was thinking about you." She scoffed and I felt my stomach turn in anger. I walked away from her and opened the door. "If you don't believe me then maybe we shouldn't be together." I stood holding the door as she slowly walked to the door.
"I love you and I always will." She said as she walked out the door. I closed it and collapsed against the door feeling sobs rack my body again. I didn't stop until both my dads came home and by that time I had moved back up to my room into my bed. I didn't eat or leave my room for anything and knew that my parents were worried so after a sleepless night I got up and put on my best actress smile and walked down to breakfast.
"What's wrong?" my daddy asked the second he saw me.
"Nothing." I said but he kept looking at me like he didn't believe me. "Quinn cheated on me and now she's pregnant." I said feeling my throat dry and close up. He pulled me into a hug and even though I had no tears left to cry I could feel my whole body weaken into his embrace. He held me until I softly pushed away.
"It's okay if you want to skip school today." My dad said coming from behind my daddy.
"Thank you, but I think I need a distraction and I want to tell you that after lunch yesterday I came home." I said quietly.
"We know." They said at the same time.
"Your school called." My dad explained when I looked at him confused.
"Are you sure you want to go?" My daddy asked concerned. I nodded meeting both of their eyes before putting on my backpack and heading out the door to walk to school. Even though I had skipped breakfast the school was busy by the time I got there. The second I walked in my senses became super aware to the people around me. Part of me wanted to avoid Quinn, but another part that was currently screaming wanted to see her. I saw her across the hall as I was leaning against my locker and she was standing next to Puck. Seeing the two of them together made jealousy heat up my whole body. I walked away before she noticed and ended up sitting in an empty doorway fuming.
"Hey, Rachel, are you okay?" I heard Finn say above me. I looked up and sarcastically smiled.
"Fine if you consider my girlfriend cheated on me with Puck." He looked at me sadly and sat down next to me.
"I'm sorry. Do you want to talk?"
I genuinely smiled and taking his hand said, "No offense, but I kinda just want to be alone."
He stood up and without any sound of being hurt said, "Ok, but if you need to talk come find me."
"Thanks." I said and he nodded before walking away. I closed my eyes and put my head in my hands. I tried to control the many emotions that I was feeling at once. I was angry she cheated and didn't trust me. I was hurt she cheated and jealous she was with Puck. Worst of all I was missing her and that emotion was currently gripping my heart and squeezing harder with every breath I took. When I heard the bell ring I picked myself up and walked to homeroom. Classes went by unbelievably slow but they eventually ended and I had made it through the whole day without seeing Quinn. When I started to walk home I remembered I had Glee practice that day. I debated not going, but decided I should so I slowly turned and headed toward the music room. I was the last to arrive and my eyes scanned the room until they collided with a pair of hazel eyes.
"Sorry Mr. Shue." I said turning my head and smiling as I walked to the seat next to Finn's.
"That's okay, Rachel." I didn't look at anybody besides Mr. Shue the whole time and I tried to leave before anyone, but I wasn't fast enough.
"Rachel." Quinn grabbed my wrist just as I had taken a step out the door.
"What Quinn?" I asked not turning around knowing it would only hurt to meet her eyes.
"Is there anything I can do to prove that I'm sorry? I miss you." I could feel my body and heart wanting to take her in my arms and say I forgave her, but my mind shut them up.
"I don't know, but . . . I miss you too." I said pulling away and running out of the school. I barely registered the rain that was pouring on my face and mixing with my tears as I ran. I didn't stop until I had passed my house and was closer to Quinn's neighborhood. I turned around and with the final strength I had walked home. By the time I got there twenty minutes later I was soaked through my clothes so I took a hot shower in the hopes to wash away the pain and weakness pulsing through my bones. The second the hot water hit my body I felt the memory of Quinn's arms around my waist and her hands as they had touched my body the last time we made love. I fell into the memory and didn't get out until the water turned to freezing cold. I climbed out and after changing into a pair of black sweats and a big t-shirt climbed into bed and tried to sleep, but as I barely started to doze I heard a knock on the door.
"Rachel, are you eating dinner?" my daddy's voice said against the door.
"I'm not hungry." I said barely lifting my head off the pillow.
"Will you be joining us for our movie night?" he asked quietly.
"No, I'm just gonna sleep."
"Please join us. We'll watch "Funny Girl" or anything else you want." I was silent for a moment as I thought before I got up and walked to the door to open it.
"Ok, I'll come down, but we're watching Rent."
"You sure you want to watch Rent?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"
"Just with Maureen and Joanne." He stopped and looked at me worried. I thought about if for a second before I nodded my head.
"It might help." He shrugged.
"Ok." I followed him as he walked down the stairs and sat down at the table. A plate was placed in front of me, but I just looked at it.
"Rachel?" I heard my daddy say quietly and I looked up.
"I'm not hungry." I said dully ad they both looked at me with concern in their eyes. They went back to eating after watching me for a minute. The number one thing I loved about my dad's was that they left me alone when I had a problem because they've learned that if I wanted to talk I'd find them. I half listened to their conversations on how their day had gone as I stared at my plate again. I only looked up when I hear my dad's voice.
"Please try to eat something." I saw his pleading eyes and also saw my daddy had similar eyes and a soft smile on his face. I took a bite of the salad and immediately felt my stomach churn. I choked it down and gave them my best smile.
"Do you want ice cream, Rachie?" my dad asks. I'm silent as my mind slowly tries to interpret his question and tells me what to answer. I nodded and stood up at the same time as my daddy.
"No, I'll go get it." I sat back down and pushed the plate away. After a few minutes a bowl was placed in front of me.
"Thank you daddy."
"You're welcome princess." I slowly ate my ice cream before realizing what flavor I was eating. I dropped my spoon as I felt the tears rush down my cheeks.
"What's wrong?" I heard my dads say at the same time.
"This was Quinn's ice cream. She left it the last time she was here." I said in between sobs. I fell into my daddy's arms as my dad took the bowl and went into the kitchen. When he came back he softly rubbed my back until my tears had calmed down. I pulled back with an apologetic smile on my face.
"You still want to watch Rent or do you just want to go to bed?" I didn't have to think of my answer.
"I still want to watch it; singing along to Joanne's part will help."
"Ok." They said smiling. Watching Rent did make me feel better even though using Quinn's name instead of Maureen doesn't work. Once the movie ended my dad's went upstairs to bed and I stayed to watch another movie because I wasn't tired and didn't have school in the morning. After watching Funny Girl I still wasn't tired, or at least that's what I thought because I fell asleep half an hour into Grease.
I found myself in an abandoned banquet hall. There were tan tables lined against white walls and each table had plates on them with left over food. I look around and it appears no one had cleaned up and everyone left in a hurry. I hear footsteps and walk towards the open door I didn't notice until now.
"Hello?" I call, but don't get a response. I walk further and find a staircase that I feel I've seen before, but don't know where. I see faceless people walking around in suits and dresses. "Hello." I say again, but now one turns toward me. In a split second all are gone and I'm standing next to Quinn sitting at a bar.
"Came to accuse me even more?" she asks looking into her mug of beer.
"It's not accusing if it's true." I say looking around to see we were in the banquet room.
"I might flirt, but that doesn't mean I actually cheat." She says quietly and I look at her surprised.
"You're pregnant because you slept with Puck." She meets my eyes before standing and walking out of the room without another word.
"Quinn, don't walk away from me." I yell, but she doesn't stop. I rub my eyes and when I look up I find myself in a cemetery. My eyes scan the area and I see a very pregnant Quinn sitting on a low wall with Puck next to her. I felt anger shoot through me until I see she was crying.
Her hand rests on her stomach as she speaks, "I wanted her to help me. I wanted this baby to be ours, but she couldn't forgive me. I know I don't deserve it because I did cheat, but I was hoping we could be a family." She sobs harder and I feel my heart break at the sight. After a few minutes she gets up and moves to a fresh grave and places her hand on top of it. "I'll never love again." She walks away with Puck and I walk to the grave they had just left to see who laid there.
"Here lies Rachel Calliope Berry, beloved daughter and friend." It read and I collapsed to my knees feeling sobs rack my body.
I woke up with tears running down my cheeks and sweat on my forehead. I looked around to see Grease had ended and the DVD was playing the main menu on loop. I got up on shaky legs and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Quinn's words played through my head as I saw that it was only 1:30 in the morning. I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep so I walked back to the living room to watch movies until the sun rose.
"Did you sleep at all?" my dad asked when he walked down the stairs to get breakfast before he had to go to work.
"Yeah, but I had a nightmare so I only got about an hour of sleep." I explained taking my eyes off of the early morning cartoons that were playing on screen.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I debated it and finally decided I should. I told him what happened as he ate and when I finished he looked at me thoughtfully.
"Do you want me to talk as your dad or therapist?"
"Dad please." I loved the fact that my dad was a therapist, but at this moment I needed my dad.
"Ok, well I think your dream is a result of you missing Quinn and watching Rent last night." I nodded.
"I get that, but what do I do about it?"
"I recommend you think about whether you can forgive her and take her back."
"How do I decide that?"
"You see if you can look past her cheating and help her take care of her pregnancy and whatever happens after, if she keeps the baby or not." He explains quietly.
"I'll think about it." I say as a response and he smiles.
"Well, I gotta go to work. I'll see you tonight and tell your daddy I'll call him when I can." He walked as he got up and walked out of the kitchen and I barely had time to answer before I heard the front door slam. I walked back to the living room and sat down to watch cartoons until I heard my daddy walking down the stairs.
"Dad already left for work and he said he'd call you when he can." I said barely taking my eyes off the TV as he walked past toward the kitchen.
"Thank you, princess." He said as he stopped in the doorstep of the living room. "Do you want breakfast?"
"No thanks, but I can join you if you want." I said standing up.
"Sure, if you want to, I'd like the company." He said walking toward the kitchen. I followed him and sat in my seat to watch him make his food.
"What was your nightmare about?" he asked when he had sat down across from me at the table. I explained it again and when I finished he looked concerned.
"It's okay to miss her." He said placing his hand on mine.
"I know I just don't know what to do. Dad told me I needed to see if I could look past her cheating to take her back."
"Well, can you?"
"I don't know yet." I said quietly. He nodded as if in understanding and went back to his food.
"What are you doing today?" I asked trying to end the silence.
"I have to get some stuff done for your dad, shopping, picking up dry cleaning, stuff like that." He answers looking me n the eyes. "Want to come?" he added and I smiled.
"Sure, I should get out of the house."
"Ok, we'll leave in about an hour." We stood up together. "I'm gonna take a shower." He explained and I headed upstairs to get dressed and brush my teeth before walking downstairs and watching TV till my daddy came down.
"Ready?" he asked looking at me dressed in ragged jeans and a t-shirt.
"I didn't feel like getting dressed in a skirt." I explained and he nodded. We left and drove to Wal-Mart.
We walked through the first two aisles before my daddy turned to me and said, "You don't want to check something out? Usually when we get here you leave my side and don't get back until we're about to leave." I thought about if there was anything I wanted to see and decided I did.
"I won't be long." I said as I walked to a section of the store I never went into. As I looked at the baby clothes I thought about Quinn. When we had first started dating I stumbled across a picture of her as a baby in her house and now I imagined what it would like to hold a little blonde haired, hazel eyed baby like the one I saw in the picture. I saw a cute t-shirt that said "my mommy's a star." And found myself staring at it when I heard a voice behind me.
"She can't do this alone, you know?" I turned around to face Brittany dressed in a tight pair of jeans and yellow shirt with ducks on it.
"She has Puck, you and Santana." I say quietly.
"She doesn't want us. She wants you." The blond says in a defiant voice I've never heard before.
"If she wanted me she wouldn't have slept with Puck." I say just as defiantly expecting her to shrink away like she was with Santana but she doesn't and her voice only gets more defiant.
"She was scared, Rachel. The only reason she slept with Puck was 'cause she was afraid of you leaving her."
"Ironic." I said mostly to myself.
"What?" she asked confused.
"I was just saying it was ironic that because she was worried about me leaving she did something that made me leave." The Cheerio nodded and I sighed.
"Don't worry about it."
"Ok." She said in her normal cheery voice until her voice suddenly gets serious. "Can I ask you something?"
"I guess." I replied slightly annoyed.
"Do you still love her?" I looked into Brittany's innocent eyes and found myself nodding.
"Nothing can change that." My voice is quiet and surprises even me.
"Just give her a chance. She needs you, now more than ever." I nod feeling tears spring to my eyes. "I'll see you around, Rachel."
"Bye." I said quietly and watched her walk back to the front of the store. I walked back to my daddy in the third to last aisle and the second he saw me knew something was wrong.
"I ran into Brittany and she asked me about Quinn." I said cutting off his question.
"What did she say?" my daddy asked curiously pulling me into a tight hug in the middle of the aisle. I explained the conversation with Brittany to him as we continued walking and at the end he was giving me an odd look.
"What?" I said stopping to look him in the eyes.
"You went to the baby section." He said in a sing song voice.
"So?" I pulled out of his arms and started to push the cart. He caught up to me and poked me in the arm.
"You're thinking of what it would be liked to have that child with Quinn."
"I sometimes forget how childish you can be." I said stopping again to look at him before continuing to push the cart.
"I'd take offense to that if wasn't your way of changing the subject."
"Fine, I was thinking about it. What's your point?"
"My point is that I'm asking, are you going to take her back?"
"I don't know." I said honestly as I pulled some bread off the shelf and placing it in the cart.
"Well, how'd you feel thinking about raising a child with Quinn?" I stopped and stared at my hands on the handle of the cart.
"Good, kind of excited, but it doesn't matter she cheated end of story."
I started walking again as my daddy says, "It doesn't have to be the end. You can forgive her and let her prove she's trustworthy again. You shouldn't hate her for one mistake, granted it was a huge one, but everyone makes mistakes especially when they're scared."
"What am I supposed to do the next time she feels insecure? Let her cheat again and blame it on being scared again?" I stopped in the last aisle and look into my daddy's sweet eyes that I happily got from him.
"No, if she cheats again you leave for good, but don't condemn her for a one time thing. Give her a second chance." He looked at me softly and I felt my whole body blush under scrutiny.
"I'll think about it." I said grabbing one last thing and heading toward a check out lane with my daddy close behind. We didn't talk until we got to the car.
"I know you're stubborn, Rach, but please don't let that stop you from being happy."
"I just can't trust her anymore." I answer quietly looking down at the floor.
"Can you learn to?" he asked as he pulled out of the parking spot and I couldn't answer him. We didn't talk again until we had gotten back to the house.
"When you can answer that question you'll know what to do." My daddy said before getting out of the car and heading toward the house. I followed him and headed to my room. To clear my head I turned on my iPod and changed my pants to climb onto my elliptical. As I ran I thought of what my dad's had said.
"Could I really forgive Quinn and take her back? Could I trust her with my whole heart again and maybe raise a baby with her?" The questions ran through my head as I tried to decide on an answer. I prayed for an epiphany, but after running for an hour without one I stepped off and took a quick shower to wash off the sweat. By the time I walked downstairs my dad had come home and was sitting with my daddy on the couch watching TV.
"Hey, how you feeling?" my dad asked when I sat on the Lazyboy next to the couch.
"Are you asking me as my dad or as my therapist?" I said jokingly.
"As your dad." He answered smiling.
"I feel confused. I don't know what to do."
"Try not to think about it and the answer will come." He looked at me with an encouraging smile and I found myself smiling back. My dad looked at my daddy who looked like he had to go to the bathroom.
"Since your father can't control his excitement I'll tell you the good news. We're going away for a few days." I felt the excitement shoot through me.
"Why and where are we going?" I asked happily.
"I got tickets to a play in New York through my work and we decided it was a good time to get away." My daddy explained and I couldn't stop the smile that formed on my face.
"What play is it?" My dad looked at my daddy.
"It's a new one called Spring Awakening and we have to talk to you about it first."
"Ok." I said calming down with his voice.
"It's a very risky play, but we think that you're old enough to see it." I nodded.
"Thank you. Risky how?" I asked confused on what he could mean.
"It involves suicide, abortion, masturbation and I'm pretty sure it has a sex scene." He said quickly flinching at some of the words he said.
"If it gets too uncomfortable for you we can leave." My daddy added and I looked at both of them.
"I'll keep that in mind." I said quietly, but still feeling the excitement in my body.
"That's all we ask." They said at the same time and I rushed forward to wrap them in a group hug.
"When are we leaving?" I asked when I had pulled away.
"Tomorrow morning. Our plane leaves at 7:00."
"How long are we staying?"
"For the week, our plane leaves at 5:30 on Friday night." I smiled.
"Thank you! I better go pack!" I yelled over my shoulder as I ran up the stairs to my room. It only took me an hour to pack so when I finished I walked back downstairs to see my dad's still on the couch. My daddy nudged my dad as he said, "You hungry, Rach?" I nodded only having gotten my appetite when my daddy had said New York.
"We'll order in." he said reaching for the phone. Another hour later we had food and I was still a happy camper. Being without Quinn was getting easier and easier and I wondered if that was my answer, but I didn't know so I didn't think about it. After we finished eating we watched another movie until my dad's stood up at the same time and said, "We should pack and be up early in the morning."
"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow." I said turning off the movie and following them upstairs. I went into my room and immediately changed into pajama's and climbing into bed for a dreamless sleep. I awoke to a knock at my door.
"Time to get up, sweetie, we don't want to miss our flight." My daddy's voice pierced the silence and the excitement caused by his phrase woke me in an instant as I got out of bed to open the door.
"I'll be down in ten minutes."
"Perfect because that's when breakfast will be on the table."
"Good." I said closing the door and quickly getting dressed. I knew that it was cold in New York so I got dressed in a longer skirt with a long sleeve shirt and knee socks. I carried my suitcases down the stairs placing them by the door before walking into the kitchen and sitting at the table.
"You excited, Rachel?" my daddy asked with a smile on my face.
"Duh." I said sarcastically as he placed a plate of pancakes in front of me.
I ate them quickly as my dad looked at me with a glint in his eye and asked, "Do you have homework handled while you're gone from school?"
I swallowed the bite that was in my mouth and said, "No, but I'll call someone to ask for notes." I went through the list of people I could ask and finally decided to ask Mike who I had become close to when we started talking about dancing in Glee which somehow led to us talking about our girlfriends and classes. I knew he took good notes in class and I had his number so I made a mental note to text him when the plane landed in New York. We finished breakfast and got into our car to drive to the airport. We get to the terminal just as they were boarding our section. I sat down in my window seat and stared out the window visualizing the plane taking off leaving Quinn behind on the runway and with uncertainty I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the back of my chair as I heard the pilot say we'd be taking off soon. My mind started to be clouded with Quinn as I realized these were the moments I wanted to share with her. I wanted to show her New York and I wanted to hold her hand as the plane flew off both of us excited about the trip. Just as I visualized our hands interlocked again I felt a hand land on mine. I opened my eyes to see my daddy smiling at me softly.
"Where's your head?"
"I still miss her and I want her here." I said in a whisper that surprised even me.
"We can cancel, the plane hasn't left yet." He said sweetly and I shook my head.
"I want to go. I just didn't realize I still missed her."
"You're supposed to hon, you guys were together for a year that's not easily gotten over even with a trip to New York."
"But she cheated." I said louder than I intended. "And now she's pregnant." I added quieter.
My daddy looked at my dad next to him, who nodded, before turning back to me and saying, "You want to know a secret?" I nodded. "Your dad cheated on me and obviously I still took him back." I felt air go out of my lungs because of my surprise.
"When?" I asked even softer than before.
"We had been dating for a year and a half and I had gone on a trip for school and when I got back he told me."
"It was the biggest mistake of my life." My dad said as he grabbed my daddy's hand. I looked into my daddy's eyes and saw they were slightly glossed by tears that I knew wouldn't fall.
"How long did it take for you to forgive him?"
"Three months. It was right before summer so I went home and the whole time I worked I realized I missed him more than was mad at him. Luckily when I saw him again he wasn't dating someone else."
They share a look and my dad doesn't take his eyes away as he says, "He was it for me. I couldn't love someone else if I wanted to." I looked out the window again not realizing the plane had taken off and wondered again if I could ever forgive Quinn. The plane ride didn't last long and I soon was able to put Quinn in the back of my mind and let the excitement of New York suppress my pain. When we got off the plane we immediately checked into our hotel and dropped off our luggage. After getting settled I saw it was still too early to call Mike so I decided to wait.
"Let's go look around." My daddy offered and we left the hotel and walked around for the rest of the morning until we sat down for lunch. When we finished eating I stood up from the table walking out the door and called Mike.
"Hello?" he asked still sounding tired.
"Didn't get enough sleep last night?" I replied teasingly.
"Rachel, hey, what's up?" I heard an instant change in his voice and it made me smile.
"Will you do me a favor?"
"Of course I'll do anything for you, you know that." He responded sweetly.
"Thank you. My dad's surprised me with a trip to New York so I won't be in school at all this week so will you get the notes and homework for me please?" I looked around me as I spoke and almost got tears in my eyes when I saw a blonde walking with her baby.
"Can do. Is there a reason they surprised you now?"
His tone implies he knows something so I ask, "What have you heard?"
"Just Puck slept with Quinn and she seems really depressed. What happened?" His voice softens and I feel my throat constrict.
I clear it before speaking, "She cheated with Puck, and now she's pregnant with his baby."
"Oh, how are you?"
"I'm okay, better, being away from Lima." I answered wiping a few stray tears.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, but can you do me another favor?"
"Yeah." He sounded confused and I didn't know if I should ask him, but I did anyway.
"Will you keep an eye on her and tell me if she hangs out with Puck a lot?"
"You got it, Rach."
"Thanks Mike. I'll see you next week."
"Bye." We hung up and I walked back to my dads.
"Everything okay?" my daddy asked when I sat down.
"Yup." I replied feeling relieved having talked to Mike because I'm happy someone will watch after her. We might not be together, but that doesn't mean I don't care.
Every day seemed to make me feel better not having to see Quinn's face or having to see her with Puck. I turned off my phone and ignored all texts and calls continuing to enjoy the place I would one day live. I shut out everything except the feeling of being with my dad's, but I still wasn't able to completely forget because as we walked I seemed to see baby's everywhere.
Our tickets for Spring Awakening were for the night before we left so when Thursday night came around it was met with a bittersweet excitement. I watched the people and listened to the lyrics intently. I thought about Quinn throughout the whole play especially during a song called "My Junk" and by the time "Whispering" was sung I was sobbing so heavily both my dad's turned to look at me. That night I didn't sleep, thoughts of Quinn running through my head. I still didn't know if I could forgive her and take her back and with the minutes ticking away I realized I would soon have to see her again and that made me nervous but at the same time made my heart start to beat faster in excitement.
Our last day in New York was spent getting everything ready to leave and seeing any last minutes sites my dad's wanted to see. Before I knew it time had caught up with me and it was time to leave for the airport.
"Ready to go home?" my daddy asked as soon as the plane took off.
"Kinda. I still don't know what to do about Quinn." I replied quietly and he nodded.
"You'll figure it out." He kissed the side of my head and turned to my dad sitting next to him. I dosed off as the plane flew and woke up to the pilot saying we were gonna land soon. We got off the plane and we drove home. We moved our bags into the house and separated to our rooms. The second I closed my door I felt a loneliness and anxiety hit me. I put in headphones and listened to the new Spring Awakening CD I got as I moved around my room unpacking and cleaning as best I could. I tried to stay busy until my dad's woke up, but couldn't and accidently fell asleep at about two thirty while "Whispering" played in my ears.
I looked around and saw myself standing in the center of my room. All was silent except a faint voice I couldn't understand. The room turned dark and I heard a tapping at my window. I walked over and saw Quinn throwing rocks to get my attention.
I opened the window and yelled, "Quinn! What are you doing?"
Her voice was strong as she yelled, "I'm sorry, Rachel, I need you! Please forgive me!" Despite its strength she sounded desperate and I couldn't help the need to hold her forming in my body. I stepped back from the window as tears slid down my cheeks. I ran faster than I've ever ran out my bedroom door, down the stairs and out the front door, but before I could reach her on the lawn a gravestone was in her place.
"Here lays Quinn Fabra,. beloved mother and friend." I felt sobs rack my body as it had in the first dream, but I also felt a heavy weight being dropped on my heart as well.
I woke up in a sweat with the ear buds having fallen out giving me full silence to focus on the dream. In that instant I knew my answer and couldn't stop myself as I got up from my bed and ran out of the house and saw the sunrise over Quinn's house as my feet hit her grass. I stopped still and realization hit me. I started to berate myself for even running here at six thirty in the morning on a Saturday. I looked at the window leading to her bedroom one last time before turning and heading for home. I hadn't take two steps before I heard my name. I slowly turned to face Quinn standing in a pair of red pajama's and slippers.
"What are you doing here?" she asked quietly.
I looked at the ground as I mumbled, "I needed to see you."
"I'm sorry what?" she stepped closer to me.
"I needed to see you." I yelled meeting her eyes. She silently looked at me and I could see the sadness in her eyes. "I've been in New York for the past week and all I could think of was you. The dream I just had didn't help either." I explained calming down.
"What are you saying?" she asked timidly. I took a step closer to her so our bodies were touching.
"I'm saying I forgive you and I want you back, you and the baby despite who its father is." Quinn smiled a smile that reached her eyes as she pulled me in for a hug.
We stayed holding each other until Quinn pulled away to look me in the eyes to say, "I love you."
"I love you too." I replied feeling her collapse into my embrace again fitting against me like a puzzle piece finally falling into place.