don't own anything but if you don't like, don't read. I put the x there because fuck it no flames! any one who doesn't like it, fuck u.

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smile and you can go anywhere.

Naruto smiled. even while breaking down from the inside. he smiled through it all. through the hate from the village, neglect from his parents, hostility from his own friends and team, abuse from his uncle, and the ever constant torture from the nine tails.

smile. keep smiling and they will never know.

no one noticed the pain, because they never saw it. they never tried. she was too good. and she cursed herself for it. she wanted to hate them, but saw to much good in it.

don't let them see what a burden you are. they must never see.

Naruto will never rely on others. she had been through too much pain to do so. she doesn't know how to rely on others. there for, she doesn't.

just keep smiling and it will get better. it will.

Iruka, her beloved adoptive big brother, had betrayed her. he tried to kill her. now she can trust no one. because Iruka was all she ever had. a father, a brother, the light in her darkness. now its gone. he is gone. Naruto knows thst she will never know a loving embrace again.

don't give up, stay alive.

it's getting easier to give up, but Naruto doesn't. it's not who she was known for. she wants to be free. she doesn't want to become hokage. why be bound to a such hateful village that doesn't want you?

don't lose that smile. keep it there.

everyday, Naruto found it harder to smile. harder to come up with lies. she had the whole village fooled. she was just a fox demon that can't do anything right. everyone hates her. but her smile never left those lips.

he is just a fool. he'll be alright.

everyone thought he will never stop smiling. that he will never stop being happy. after all, he was just a fool... until he stopped smiling.

I'm tired. I wanna go to sleep.

whenever someone saw Naruto, he was sad. he wasn't smiling. he looked like a tired old man. no one knew what to do. and whenever Naruto did smile, everyone would cry or beg for death because of how broken it was.

I'm leaving, goodbye.

the day Naruto became rogue blind sided everyone. no one expected the boy to betray his village. but no one can blame him. after all, if they were in his shoes, they would've killed everyone for what they had done. Minato and Kushina were frantic. they wanted their child back.

secrets can't be hidden forever.

once it got out that Minato and Kushina had neglected Naruto for their younger kids, the village went into a rage. Mito and Naruko were run out if stores or had to pay a higher than normal price for a item. the two golden girls were hated. no one respected Minato or Kushina again.

goodbye light, hello darkness.

since Naruto became rogue, she have given up the light to live in the darkness. its nothing new. it was just another price to pay to live in peace.

lost, but not forgotten.

those who loved Naruto were outraged, angry, hurt, heartbroken. how could such a bright and loving child turn on his own village. but they understood. as much as they didn't want to, they understood his reasons.

story of my life. the story of the pain I bared.

Kushina and her brother stood in front of the door that hasn't been opened for a long time. 10 years had passed. 10 long years. when Naruto left, she was 9. she should be 19 right now. her brother's anger turned to rage. her mother had been silent. both loved Naruto despite being so cold to the boy who had been nothing but good to them. now, they stood in front of the door that Naruto once called his. Skull opened it. it was empty. the room was empty. the only things that were in there were a bed, a desk and a shelf full of books. none of them have been touched. there was a book on the desk. Kushina went to the bookshelf. it was full of either book of romance, sorrow, pain, or the history of Chakra. Kushina touched them lightly, letting her fingers rest for only second. Skull went to the desk. he started at tge book. it was opened and the cover was facing up. he picked the book up and turned it over to see it was on the very last page of the book. there were many more but Skull wanted to know what was his student's last entry. it was recently written in.

'pain...hate...neglect...abuse...they seem to define me. I guess they do. but I smiled through it all because I thought it would be ok. I thought it would get better. I waited for the villagers to realize that I'm not a monster. I waited to be loved by my mom and dad. I waited for uncle Skull to realize that I'm not a heartless killer. I waited for my younger siblings to ask me for help. I waited for the old hag to say that she'll train me. I waited for pervy sage to bring me with him to make some kind of trouble. I waited for everyone to see that I'm dying inside. I waited for everyone to see the broken girl behind the boy on who never stops trying. that never stops smiling. I waited... and waited. and waited. through it all I kept smiling and laughing. no one saw the tears. no one saw the broken pieces of the girl who was forgotten. and the funny thing is, I am content with life for now. but I won't stay here forever. I thought about this for a while. if I go rogue, I will never find peace and eventually die by the hands of another. but if I stay, I'm dead anyway. no matter, death will be a blessing to me. at least I will be released from the hell I was borned into. the village will rejoice my death, my uncle will spit on my grave and my family will never notice that I am gone. life will go on as it once was. the only people I can honestly say that can make me smile without fail, is Hinata and Gaara. she is a god given angel. I just hope that she doesn't hate me. other than Hinata and Gaara, whoever reads this first, Skull will read this I'm sure, feel free to hate me. I don't care. I can't afford to care. not anymore. so this will be the last entry of this old book of mine. and Skull, if you are reading this, and the old monkey is still alive, tell him he was wrong about me.also, I never had the will to say this to your face because I knew you hated me. I love you. more than I should. even after you had raped me, I love you. It was not how I wanted to lose my virginity, but hey, I had toughed it out. though, you left me with a fear of men. but you gave me something unexpected... you gave me a child to love and protect.

Naruto Uzumaki.'

Skull wad crying. he was crying because he was wrong about Naruto. he hated Naruto because he thought he was a killer. he himself forgotten about how he had to carry the darker half of himself and the dark souls that strayed from the clan. but Naruto had to carry the hate of a village and a tailed beast. Naruto, bless the girl's heart, is a very patient child. she waited for years for something to happen and she got tired of waiting. not only that! she was having a child, not anyone's child but his! he can't blame her when she took things by her own two hands and made her own path, a very lonely path it was, but a worthy path worthy of a god.

the final stand

Naruto had trained since she could walk. she was stronger than anyone. she was only second to her uncle, Skull. she trained her twins, both 12 now, to the ground. both were very strong. she taught them that when the time came to let go, do it. she also taught them to never be arrogant and taught them to love each other. she taught them to stand together when times are tough and to always have it's other backs. she had told them to pass these lessons on to her grand kids. she was now 28. Naruto had grown into a very beautiful woman. her hair was a beautiful dark purple with white and grey highlights and it went to her knees, but she always wore it in a ponytail so it was to he bubble butt. her body was sculpted by Kami himself and her blue eyes changed to a stormy purple. her whisker scars only added to her beauty. her voice was like music to anyone's ears, and when she sing, it was a melody that no one wanted to end. she knew death will come for her anytime now. with the Akatsuki hunting her down, there is no way she will let her kids be taken. and that day came soon. fortunately for her, she sent her sons, Ace and Memna, to the leaf village with her old village with Gaara. now Ace and Menma knew what their mother went through in that village and had begged Naruto not to send them their, to send them to their uncle Gaara, but she would not have any of it. she had already spoke to Gaara about and he agreed to take the boys to the leaf. they each had a necklace that was lanced with her blood m it would let them know rather or not she was dead. it's warm when she is alive. hot when she is in danger, and go completely cold if she's dead. all three weee attached to the sad woman. both Ace and Menma knew their mother was sad and lonely. and she always knew how to hide it. but not for long. there was a pained glint in her eye that she didn't hide quick enough and there was always a look of pain that flashed in her eye some-times. they knew that one day, they will lose their mother to the Akatsuki. and they wished that they would leave their mother was when she was old and grey. they had hoped that one day she would see them get married and she would met their kids. they didn't want to lose her like this!!

the sealing

Naruto was standing in a clearing with two long swords on her back. there were black bandages on her chest tightly. enough to allow her to figbt easily, but not enough to constrict her breathing. she had on black amulet and red pants that went to her knees and ankles length combat boots. there were ninja tape in her legs that stopped halfway. and on her arms that went from her wrist up to her shoulder. she was silently sitting in a lotus prosition with her eyes closed. that was how the Akatsuki found her. she looked at peace. but they know she that wasn't. they knew that she was a very damaged child in the inside. she suffered so much and they felt that she deserves a death dying in her sons arms. Naruto stood. she had never once relied on the nine tail's chakra. that much everyone was certain of. there was something suppressing the chakra and doubled the her normal chakra size. she understood this and trained to control it. Naruto opened her eyes to look at the group of criminals that surrounded her. "so you gotten the others have you? the only one to survive was Gaara, am I correct Pein?" Naruto asked softly, but she could be heard by all. "yes he was the only one to survive. he was the only who didn't use his tailed beast's chakra other than you." Pein said and Naruto smiled a beautiful smile. "as long as he survived. but I have to ask, what do you plan to do once you have the furball?" Naruto asked looking at them. all if them felt her motherly stare. her stare mde the feel like small children being scolded for something that they did wrong. "to take the tailed beasts and seal them away. then guard it so that no one else can use their power. we made it a duty to keep them away. we have already training others to keep them sealed. once we have the nine tails, we plan to seal him with his brothers and seal them together." Pein said and I looked at the sky. "the tailed beasts aren't just mindless mass of chakra. but I do agree to the fwct that their power can be used for selfish reasons. but you have to take me out if you want to take him." Naruto said and the battle began for the nine tails. it was a long battle and they were wounded. while powerful, Naruto was still human. it took her a while to get tired. but after 3 long weeks (A/N: Naruto can last 3 weeks before getting tired.) without any rest, she is shot. the Akatsuki were amazed that she could last so long. it was 2 more days before Naruto collapsed due to the lack of rest. tired and hurt, the Akatsuki took Naruto and went back to their base. after getting to the base, they sealed Naruto's Chakra long enough for them to rest and take the nine tails. Itachi kept Naruto asleep. making her a world where she was loved. when they had finally recovered, they started with-drawing the nine tails from Naruto. it took 4 days to do so. when it was done, Konan checked to see if Naruto was still alive. she was, but she didn't have long. "we need to get her back to her boys." she said and Pein looked at Itachi. "she is from your village. you are the only one who knows it's weaknesses. we need to get her there now." he said and Itachi nodded at him and jumped down to Naruto. he left the cave, racing to his village. "Kisame, go with him." Pein ordered and Kisame nodded at him and followed.

silent death

it was night fall when they arrived at the leaf village. Itachi and Kisame snuck in easily and headed to Naruto's old home. that old and dirty apartment complex. on the way there, they caught a flash of purple and white. the uzumaki bothers. Ace and Menma were identical. both had the same face as their father, but they had the same personality and hair as their mother. both were silent and deadly, like their mother. both were pranksters, and both were masters of deception and the best liars out there. they were highly skilled and the one thing that was strong in Naruto was that, despite having a family, she was a street rat. and the trait was passed down to the boys. Itachi and Kisame landed in front them. both boys couldn't sleep. they haven't been able to get any sleep in the last 3 weeks. so when they saw Itachi and Kisame land in front of them, they were pissed. that was until they saw their mother over Kisame's shoulder. their eyes went black and both boys hissed loudly at them. Kisame had slowly put Naruto down gently and both he and Itachi backed away from them. Itachi dropped his genjustu over Naruto and she woke up in the arms of he young boys. both of who were crying. "hey, no more tears. that's no way to send your dying mother off now is it?" Naruto asked softly and suddenly there was a sand wall between Naruto and the twins and the 2 Akatsuki members. all but Naruto looked to see Gaara standing there with his hand out. his eyes blazed with anger and pain as tears ran down his cheeks. he jumped down next to the boys and her demon sister. his younger demon sister. Gaara cupped Naruto's cheek. he put his head to hers as he cried. "don't leave. I'm on my knees demon sister, don't leave us." he begged and Ace and Menma looked at him in shock. they never seen their uncle so broken before. they didn't know what to do. their tears never stopped falling. Naruto smile at him and ruffled his wild hair. "you shouldn't be crying over me. I don't like your tears. I never want to be the reason for your tears. please, don't cry." Naruto said as they hugged her. they whimpererd at her words. they never noticed that Itachi and Kisame had left or that Skull had arrived and was watching he had heard Gaara call Naruto his demon sister. "hey can you guys do me a favor?" Naruto asked, her voice was barely above a whisper. "what is it ma?" Ace asked softly and and she smiled. "I wanna hear that song. if I can just hear it just once, I will be happy." Naruto said and a tear ran down her cheek.

Ace and Menma:

"I see your monsters

I see your pain

Tell me your problems

I'll chase them away

I'll be your lighthouse

I'll make it okay

When I see your monsters

I'll stand there so brave

And chase them all away."

Gaara:

A cup of coffee still steaming

Staring back at me, it's blacker than the night

I'm awake but still sleeping

I keep telling myself I'll be alright (I won't)

And I know it can't get worse than today

Sitting here and she's trying to rehearse what to say

See, she's in the bathroom hoping I'm not in earshot

While she's getting used to the sound of a teardrop (Splash)

It hits the tile

And I know it's been a while since you seen me

Smile and laugh like I used to

I've been in denial since it happened

Just take me to the past

'Cause I just can't imagine losing you (too)

I can't explain this so I'll keep it all inside

Wear my pain, but it's masked by my pride

She came to hold me and she cried

Told me this as she stared into my eyes, said."

Ace and Menma:

"I see your monsters

I see your pain

Tell me your problems

I'll chase them away

I'll be your lighthouse

I'll make it okay

When I see your monsters

I'll stand there so brave

And chase them all away."

Gaara:

"I can't

You won't like what you see

If you were in my head and had to hear my pleas

It's like

I can't believe this is happening to me

And could someone please shut this fucking answering machine

So I can start leaving these messages

That you will never get

And all these cries for help

You'll never see and never check

But I guess it's easy for you to leave me

But believe me

See this isn't something that Imma just forget

I would trade it all for one more minute

Don't you see I really need you to talk to

I'm still sitting here wondering who did it

While I'm staring out our front door

Knowing you'll never walk through

Said you'd come right back

And now you're gone like that

A blank stare as I stand so alone

And know you're never coming home (damn)."

Ace and Menma:

"I see your monsters

I see your pain

Tell me your problems

I'll chase them away

I'll be your lighthouse

I'll make it okay

When I see your monsters

I'll stand there so brave

And chase them all away."

Gaara:

"I got a heart made of fool's gold

Got me feeling so cold

But you chipping away

All the promises that I told

Felt like I was on those

But keep slipping away

I want nobody else

But it's hard to get to know me

When I don't know myself

And it helps

'Cause I felt

I was down, I was out

Then you looked at me now

And said:"

Ace and Menma:

"I see your monsters

I see your pain

Tell me your problems

I'll chase them away

I'll be your lighthouse

I'll make it okay

When I see your monsters

I'll stand there so brave

I see your monsters

I see your pain

Tell me your problems

I'll chase them away

I'll be your lighthouse

I'll make it okay

When I see your monsters

I'll stand there so brave

And chase them all away."

they sang together in perfect harmony. the had continued to since even as Naruto drew her last breath. she died soundlessly and as peacefully. her eyes were closed and her head was laid up against Menma's chest. Gaara laughed softly. tears ran down endlessly on his cheeks. "mom you were halfway wrong when you said you wouldn't die peaceful. you look beautiful." Gaara said as he laid his head on Naruto's shoulder. Menma was inconsolable. he was crying loudly. Ace was right behind him.

the day that sun lost its shine

the day that their mother died was the day that hell broke out. Ace and Menma stromed into the hokage's office and proceeded to beat the ever living hell out of both Minato and Kushina. tears were endless. it took every ninja to restrain them. it was Gaara, who had came in with Naruto's , who had stopped them. and it was him who explained everything to the beaten half to them. it took 4 months for them to calm down. when Skull had made the mistake of insulting Naruto, saying that Naruto was nothing but a whore and she was a mistake. topped with the fact that he was the man who had raped their beloved mother, both boys viscously attacked him, saying that he was nothing but a disgrace and that he does nothing but ruin her memory. nothing could stop them from trying to kill him. Gaara was the one who saved the bastard. and then beat the hell out of him. "you will not disgrace my demon sister's memory with your lies. you shouldn't have been graced with her presence. you are unworthy of being called her uncle." Gaara snarled at him angrily before throwing him against the wall. Naruto's death had spread like wild fire. everyone who had knew him greived her death. once they had hearher tragic story, they blamed themselves for not seeing her pain sooner. they had cut off all ties to the leaf, including the leaf. Hinata had disowned her family and left the village. Iruka broke out and left as well. he was there for Naruto's funeral, but he was under a disguise. Minato and Kushina had been forbidden to attend Naruto's funeral. she was buried in wave. right next to Zabuza and Haku. Skull was in the intensive care for months. leaf had lost so much and gained nothing.

the truth is out

Skull had just gotten out of the hospital and was put on bed rest. he was sitting on the bed and saw the book he took from Naruto's room. he picked it up and read the cover. the story of my life. he opened it to the first page.

page 1:

I just got this not to long ago... why do people hate me? why won't mom and dad love me? why does uncle Skull hate me so much? someone make it stop. I wanna die. just to make it stop. Kami- Sama, why did you cursed me to have such a hellish life? is it because you hate that much?

page 2:

I accidentally met the nine tails. I know why everyone hate me so much now, I'm a monster! uncle Skull was right!! I am a killer! I wanna die! I don't wanna live, not when I killed so many people!! not only that, the nine tails is forcing me to training. he is also tormenting me mentally. I'm slowly going insane. and I don't mind.

page 3:

I... lost my emotions. I simply shut down emotionally. I simply forgot what it feels like to have them. I don't know what they are. and how did this happen? I was raped. and the chunin exams are not to far away. what made it worse is that uncle Ace was the ine who raped me. the only thing I can do is smile. it's been like that since I was a kid.

page 4:

I've been training alone. I don't want to be near Skull in the same village mich less the same room. he has been looking for me though, but can't find me. that, I'm glad. I don't want him to find me and if my idea works out, I can be free.

page 5:

I was a fool to think that things would change for me. I'm going insane, and I don't care. if the fools want to kill me, let them try. I'm stronger than them anyway. and who cares if I kill a few people? no one cared about me when I was beaten so why should I?

page 6:

I made 2 new friends. their names are Hinata and Gaara. I love them. it's fun to hang out with them! I smile more, and they're not fake! I'm happy! is this what happiness feel like? if it is, then I hope that it never leaves! the leaf as much as I do! Gaara hates his village and I called him my demon brother, he calls me his demon sister! Hinata is our sister as well!

page 7:

I'm pregnant. I found out that I am having a baby. Hinata told me, so I told her and Gaara that I was a girl. they freaked and I laughed. our parents noticed our friend- ship and tried to stop us being friends. but it backfired on them. Hinata moved out and came to live me, Gaara came to live with us as well. we formed our own clan. the Akemi clan. I am the clan head. we decided that I wasn't safe in the village. not with Skull hunting me down and not with the villagers hate. we are going to put our plan into action. I'm not writing down the plan because my book could be found.

page 8:

I'm having twins! I'm happy! I can't do much because I'm starting to show. I'm having boys! I had to send a clone to the chunin exams in my place. Gaara and Hinata had made clones as well. they didn't want to leave me alone in the house. I don't blame them. we stay in the same room when we go to sleep.

(A/N: ok that's the first 8 pages. I'm gonna do random now.

page 15:

everytime I look at him, I feel something I'm not supposed to. when did hate turn to love? yes I hated him. I hated how he treated me, I hated how he beat me and made me feel worthless, I hated how cold he was to me. I just hated the bastard with every fiber of my being. so when did it change? and how? was it how he looked at me? was it the way he spoke? or was it his devilish looks that trapped me? I don't know. so many questions and do little answers. damn you Skull for making me feel this way.

page 17:

when the twins were born, I stopped living for me. I started living for then, my sister, and my demon brother. all of us did odd jobs. we can't risk the boys safety. we would have to leave now. and with the money we have now, we only have enough to send one person. so, we decided to send me and the boys.

page 20:

I made it out of the village and made it to the safe house that we had set up with the boys. and it took me months to make it to wave with the search parties. I need to start working. and soon.

page 25

5 years passed by. Ace and Menma grew up so fast! they are 5 now. they are my bundles of joy. we now live in the red light district because Skull almost found us. I couldn't risk being caught so I sent a message to Gaara and Hinata with one of my Hawks. I have many contracts with different animals. I refuse to do the frog contract because I knew that perverted sage will try to take me back to the leaf. something I refuse to do. it was hard on me to raise and protect the boys when I am just a kid myself. the one thing that's different between me and my sons is that I am giving them the life I never had. I don't spoil them. I am not harsh on them and I love them equally. I made sure that I had a roof over their heads and their stomachs were full. I had made money killing and doing odd jobs. I even give myself up to men for money to gave so they can get the things they wanted. I am always tired, but seeing the smiles on their faces is always worth it. I started to train them a few days ago, 3 years later than I did.

page 27:

I have been keeping in touch with Gaara and Hinata, they are married I'm happy for them. they were coming again. we made a habit to met up when they are in missions. they met the boys as well. the boys call them uncle Gaara and auntie Hinata. both still gush at the names. I know that Skull had started to really hunt me down. he was angry. why? I will never know. he hated me. I no longer cared and I moved on. I will never love a man, but I don't fear them.

and he read on. every page she had wrote showed a very different side to the girl he had abused. if he had not known that Naruto was 19 when she left her book, he would've believed that a old man wrote this book. he had seen Naruto's life through each page. he saw her pain, her anger, fear, and happiness. he read it all down to the last page. the same page he had read years earlier.

page 153'pain...hate...neglect...abuse...they seem to define me. I guess they do. but I smiled through it all because I thought it would be ok. I thought it would get better. I waited for the villagers to realize that I'm not a monster. I waited to be loved by my mom and dad. I waited for uncle Skull to realize that I'm not a heartless killer. I waited for my younger siblings to ask me for help. I waited for the old hag to say that she'll train me. I waited for pervy sage to bring me with him to make some kind of trouble. I waited for everyone to see that I'm dying inside. I waited for everyone to see the broken girl behind the boy on who never stops trying. that never stops smiling. I waited... and waited. and waited. through it all I kept smiling and laughing. no one saw the tears. no one saw the broken pieces of the girl who was forgotten. and the funny thing is, I am content with life for now. but I won't stay here forever. I thought about this for a while. if I go rogue, I will never find peace and eventually die by the hands of another. but if I stay, I'm dead anyway. no matter, death will be a blessing to me. at least I will be released from the hell I was borned into. the village will rejoice my death, my uncle will spit on my grave and my family will never notice that I am gone. life will go on as it was. the only person I can honestly say that can make me smile without fail, is Hinata. she is a god given angel. I just hope that she doesn't hate me. other than Hinata, who- ever reads this first, Skull will read this I'm sure, feel free to hate me. I don't care. I can't afford to care. not anymore. so this will be the last entry of this old book of mine. and Skull, if you are reading this, and the old monkey is still alive, tell him he was wrong about me.also, I never had the will to say this to your face because I knew you hated me. I love you. more than I should. even after you had raped me, I love you. It was not how I wanted to lose my virginity, but hey, I had toughed it out. though, you left me with a fear of men. but you gave me something unexpected... you gave me a child to love and protect.Naruto Uzumaki.'and that was the story of my Life. the sad and tragic life of Naruto Uzumaki. let my story be an example of what hate and neglect can do. don't let another soul go through the same thing just because of something out of their control.