Here to There

L.R.T.

The amount of people that turned out for the memorial was staggering. Part of her was happy that people wanted to remember him; part of her was angry that most of them never gave a shit about him in life but cried over his death.

She stayed as far away from everything as possible, having had enough of those "poor widow" looks from the mourners. Their pity and sympathy meant nothing to her. What good did any of it do? Would it bring him back? Would it change the past? Of course not.

What truly made her quietly seethe in the corner was Butch and Cassidy. You would have thought their best friend had just died, the way Cassidy was carrying on and the pitiful puppy dog eyes Butch was batting around the room. Fuck them.

Fuck the boss, too. Team Rocket had paid for everything and it was as nice as a funeral was expected to be. Charity didn't change anything, either. For years all the boss ever did was berate them and when they finally had a chance to prove themselves, it turned out that he never expected them to succeed in the first place. Every insult he'd ever uttered to them rewound again and again in her head while he gave his condolences - if it weren't for him, he would still be alive right now.

That was what she told herself, at least. It was the boss's fault for sending them to Kalos in the first place. It wasn't her fault for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, making him have to save her. That was garbage. She didn't need saving. She never needed saving. How could he have died saving her when she was no damsel in distress in the first place?

There wasn't nearly enough booze in her system to consider going back out to that joke. She had just heard the sad but still unbearably cutesy sound of Pikachu and would rather have been crushed by the boulders in Geosenge Town than talk to the twerps. It was nice they came, sure. Meowth could deal with it.

She had put a lot on Meowth's shoulders both purposely and unknowingly. Her disgust and denial over the whole thing made her completely useless - not that she particularly cared - and so for the first time, Meowth was stuck being the strong one. She was done with that. What good was strength when it didn't even matter when it counted most?

All she did now was fume over everything, more than she ever did before. Feeling angry and being a bitch was a much better choice than sitting around crying and wishing that things had been different, in her opinion. After all, doing those things meant that she was mourning him; mourning him meant that he was really gone; he wasn't really gone. It was impossible. This was all a sick joke probably put on by Butch and Cassidy. James was going to show up any second and sweep her up in his arms, spin her around and kiss her just like before.

The only problem with that thought process was the deep emptiness she felt inside. If he really were just off playing a prank, she would know. She would feel it. That's how they were - always connected no matter how far away they ended up from each other. Instead, she felt nothing. Where once was warmth and joy now gave way to cold and bitter sorrow.

She was officially over all of this. Downing the rest of her drink and tossing the glass into a nearby planter, she went out the backdoor of the funeral parlor. The whole place smelled of death and it was making her sick. The drinks she'd gulped down in the course of an hour were also probably to blame.

Down the steps - but which way now? She stood in the middle of the parking lot, knowing that she needed to get the hell out but realizing she had no place to go. The bars weren't open yet. She hadn't been back to their room at all, leaving it all to Meowth and Mondo. All the people she knew from Team Rocket were inside. It was her worst fear coming true - he left her and she was all alone.

Jessie spent the rest of the time sitting on the steps outside. It scared her but being alone was better than being in there right now. She would have to get used to the feeling, anyway.

"I want an assignment," she said firmly, daring to stand up to the boss for the first time.

Giovanni frowned and sat back in his plush desk chair, one hand falling to the side to scratch his beloved Persian behind the ears. "That's not a good idea. I won't do it."

Gritting her teeth, she asked again, "Give me something to do."

That look again - that fucking woe-is-her look that seemed to be the only response she could get from people anymore. "What's just happened to you -"

"- Is all the more reason for me to get out of here and distract myself."

He shook his head. "Even if I wanted to, the only available ones aren't for you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Just what I said," he replied sternly. "You're on bereavement leave and you're staying there until I feel that you're ready to continue as an agent, do I make myself clear?"

Jessie glared at him, not moving a muscle, her whole body tensing up at the mention of "bereavement" - what did that even mean, anyway? Mourning? She still refused to do that. "Crystal. Too bad I couldn't give a shit."

Giovanni sighed, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and middle finger. "You can't speak to me like that. You know this."

She crossed her arms and settled in to her chair. "Don't care."

"Fine," he said, reaching across his desk to grab several file folders. "If it'll make you happy and get rid of you then I'll give you an assignment."

"Finally."

As he flipped through the folders, he glanced up at her when he told her, "All of these assignments are in Kalos. Is that going to be a problem?"

Her teeth were going to be nothing but nubs soon if she didn't stop grinding. "Why would it be?"

Giovanni sighed once again and handed a file over the desk to her. "Recon work. We're keeping an eye on things over there since -" He stopped abruptly, searching for any kind of words that wouldn't upset her and finding that there really were none. "What happened," he said as he looked down at his content Persian, lightly purring in its sleep. "What became of Lysandre is still not known. We can hope that his own foolish ideas became the end of him but I don't think that's so." He sat back in his chair again, exhaling a deep breath slowly. "Men like him don't tend to give up. They must be stopped."

She was only half-listening to another one of his glorious speeches, idly flipping through the papers she was given. When the sound of silence overtook the room, she looked up and nodded to him as though she had heard every word. "Consider it done."

"Where would you like me to have Meowth and Mondo -"

"I'm going solo," she replied, standing up. "They're the ones that need the time off. Not me."

Shaking his head, he stood as well and leaned across his desk. "I urge you not to do anything stupid." Persian made a small "meow" as it stretched and joined them. "If you find Lysandre, you contact me. You don't go in there alone to try and get revenge. Do you understand and give a shit now?"

Jessie smirked, turning on her heel and heading for the door. "Revenge? Me?" With that she was gone, the door slamming behind her and causing Persian to jump, rushing back under Giovanni's desk.

He began to pet his Pokemon again to comfort it, still looking at the door. "That girl's going to get herself killed." Looking down at Persian who returned his gaze and purred, rubbing its head against his hand, he concluded, "Maybe that's for the best."

So far the sum of her trip to Kalos had been less on the "work" side and more on the "get trashed to oblivion every night" side. Giovanni had been trying to contact her. Meowth and Mondo, too. She didn't need a scolding or to be told what to do - what she needed was to drink her way across the region until she was completely numb forever.

It hadn't even dawned on her that she was in Lumiose City. They all seemed to blend together after a while, especially when your sight was already bleary from alcohol. All she knew was that she was in a pretty okay restaurant, sitting at the bar, and whatever she had been feeling before was now a distant memory, drowned away in a sea of shots.

She didn't see him walk in - if she had, she would have made a clumsy dash for the bathroom. He saw her, though. Almost immediately. She sensed someone sitting down next to her but couldn't be bothered at the moment to give them the time of day - she had shots to drink.

"Jessie?"

She halted bringing the tiny glass to her lips. Drunk or not, she would know that voice anywhere. Why was he here? Why was he bothering her? Why couldn't everyone leave her the hell alone?

"Professor," she snidely replied, downing the shot that she had been putting off.

He frowned, signalling to the bartender to cut her off and cut her off quick. "What on earth are you doing back here?"

"Oh, so you aren't happy to see me?" She shook her head, starting to stack the shot glasses she had begun to accumulate in front of her. "That's not very nice."

His heart broke for her. He didn't think it was possible for it to hurt any more than it already did but she proved him wrong. It looked like she had been living on booze for who knows how long - when did she even come back? Why didn't she let him know?

"Of course I'm happy to see you," he said softly, rising from the bar stool. "I'm always happy to see you." He reached over and gently touched her arm, only barely able to duck out of the way when she tried to smack him across the face in response. "Where are you staying? I can get a cab and take you back there."

"Where do you think?" she spat, turning in the opposite direction and stumbling off her own bar seat. "You're a fucking professor. You should be able to figure it out."

Professor Sycamore sighed, running hand back through his hair. "The forest again."

"What can I say?" Jessie gave him a bitter smile, continuing to stumble around in an attempt to reach the door. "I'm an outdoorsy kind of girl."

He followed close behind her, ready to catch her if she finally just passed out and collapsed. "Are you sure you want to go back there?" He felt bad talking to her like a small child but in her state it seemed the only way to get through to her. "I can take you back to the lab. It's huge, you know. Plenty of space." Tailing her as she tried to get away from him on the street, he offered, "You could have your own space. I'll leave you alone and you can just be with Jessie for a little while. However long you want."

She stopped, nearly making him crash into her. "I want to be alone. I need to get used to being alone."

He hated seeing her like this. Placing an arm around her, he started to walk with her toward the lab. "Whatever you need." He thought it best not to argue with her about being alone - she was the furthest thing from alone but wouldn't see that right now. She may not even see it once she sobered up. All he could do was try to make her whatever resembled "happy" for her these days and take care of her as much as she would let him.

From the looks of it, he was going to have quite the uphill battle.