Chapter 1 – Life Goes On Without You

BPOV

Beep Beep Beep. The alarm sounded. The worst sound in the world if you have a severe headache and are suffering from severe sleep deprivation. This was a result of working night-shifts and organizing engagement parties.

Beep. Beep. Beep. "Ugh!!!" I rolled over to find David already awake and saw him walking around.

"Hello beautiful, How's the head?" He bent over me and, gently, kissed my forehead.

"How about I tell you after I actually wake up." I stretched my arms above my head. "Hey shouldn't you have gone home?" I sat up against the headboard to see him more clearly.

"I had to make sure you were okay and I madeyou breakfast." He smirked.

A rush of the previous nights events hit my mind. I had had a dream about him again. It was happening a lot lately. As the years went past, I had gradually accepted that Edward wouldn't come back, ever.

But in the last few days, I couldn't keep him out of my mind. He was in my dreams, my thoughts. I had flashbacks of my life in Forks. It was as if my memory had sharpened and the images became more defined. I could picture his face perfectly of late and it began to worry me. Of course it still hurt, and I was by no means over him but I tried my absolute best to move on, for everyone's sake.

After Edward left, I was devastated. I was diagnosed catatonic and remained that way for about a year. I found my best friend Jacob Black, he took care of me.

I also discovered that he was a werewolf. But that's another story. He found his soul mate in someone he deserved, Carole. She was a pleasant person, and could handle Jake when she needed to. She was his kindred spirit. I couldn't have been happier for him.

I graduated as a doctor in pediatric medicine from Oxford, London (I work as a specialist doctor for children). You might ask why Oxford, but I needed a change. I was offered a part-scholarship in London and gladly accepted. After Edward and the rest of the Cullens left, I was a mess.

I then met Jake, who really got me back to life. While I was catatonic, it scared the hell out of Charlie, despite my best efforts to act normal. I was heartbroken and Jake fixed me.

But then I really focused on my studies as an escape to the mess that was my social life. I began to get better grades, even in Calculus. I had never been to Europe and it was an adventure badly needed.

I later moved to the Royal London Hospital after doing some volunteer aid work in Sri Lanka after the tsunami. I loved my job. To tell the truth, it was Carlisle who first got me interested in this field. His dedication to his work intrigued me and I too discovered my passion for helping those who need it.

I wanted to be worth something in the world. Originally, I wanted to be a writer, but I finally faced facts when I realised that I couldn't read any of my favourite books. They all reminded me of him and they didn't hold the same interest for me as they once had.

Romantic movies were something that took time, to be able to watch without bursting into tears. I began to make an effort to move on, and then I met David, a cardiac surgeon from Co. Limerick in Ireland.

We met in Oxford, and became friends at first, but then we became a couple. To be completely honest with myself, I really didn't love him as much as he did me. I was still completely in love with Edward. But I had to move on. I could tell that Charlie was happy that I had. I did love David, but not nearly as much as I loved Edward.

I was sure that I would all most certainly never stop loving him. The searing hole that had appeared in my chest had tamed over the years, but even now something would remind me of them, the Cullens, and it would hurt like a knife to the heart.

I was used to the pain, it was part of life for me now. I had forbidden myself to utter his name. He led me on, thinking that he would stay and love me forever, that was something I would never forget.

David was a nice guy and he treated me extremely well, he was always so thoughtful, leaving flowers and gifts, even though he knew I hated people buying me gifts. He spoiled me anyway. I was happy and getting on with my life.

I turned to check the time in the alarm clock it was 7:30am. My head ached and my eyes burned with the sunlight spilling in through the window.

"Remind me to never ever stay out with Gemma again; the party was fun though." I mused. "I can't believe she's engaged. It's unreal!!!" I steadied myself and made my way to the closet.

I managed to trip over my high-heels which were lying on the floor and smacked my face into the closet door. David immediately came back into the room and assessed the possible damages to my jaw.

"Does that hurt?" He spoke as he examined my jaw.

"You know you should watch where you're going. Especially when you are half awake, it's bad enough that you are prone to falling but after a long night you should take it could be seriously hurt." He tilted my head. I scowled at him.

"Thanks," I scowled.

"Don't look at me like that, I'm serious! Please try to be a bit more careful. We don't want a repeat of Milan." I leaned onto my tip-toes and kissed him on the forehead.

"I'll never live that down," I marched to my closet.

"I'm just tired. I haven't had a proper sleep in days. And I'm glad that I don't have any night shifts for a whole week. I'll be fine after a day or so, don't worry." I said, turning to look at him. He was an extremely handsome man. I'd never understood why he'd date someone like me in the first place. Most of the nurses at the hospital were in love with him. He was strong, a rugby player. He had jet black hair and pale skin…hot.

As I sat down at the breakfast bar and looked of my apartment window and out over London.

"What's this about Gemma's wedding being unreal?" He snaked his arms around my waist and whispered in my ear.

"It's just that…she's one of my best friends and I feel like I'm losing her. Aswell as getting older, it all just seems strange." I sighed.

He looked at me dubiously, considering this thought.

"Yeah but it's not like you're actually losing her. She is marrying my best friend Jonathon and you're not getting older. To me, you're more beautiful than the day we met and I love you very, very much so stop worrying and calm down. Gemma's like 25 and you're a few years younger. Marriage can't be all that scary, if it's with the right person. Shouldn't this be the other way around. You telling me this etcetera." He smiled at me and my throat tightened, I couldn't breath I suddenly needed an escape.

"Oh shoot! I forgot that I needed to be in early today, I need to speak with Susan about the interns so I'll have to see you at work. I left my jacket in your apartment, so could you drop it in here before you leave? Do you want to meet for lunch with Gemma and me? We're finalizing some wedding stuff" I asked as I picked up my bag.

"Sorry, I can't. I have a transplant from eleven to one thirty and then a triple bypass, so I'll be pretty choked all day. I'd hate to get in the way of the great wedding of the century. But I will see you tonight. You're still coming over to dinner with Deirdre. Right?"

"Yeah sure I'll be there. I'll see you then." I gave him kiss on the cheek and headed to work.

For the entire journey to work I just thought ,over and over, about what had just happened.

"and anyway marriage can't be that scary, if it's with the right person"

What did that mean? He couldn't be seriously thinking of proposing. I only knew him for 3 years. I was in panic. I can't marry him! It's too fast and sudden! I had always thought that Edward would be the one to propose to me but this I couldn't handle.

In normal terms, three years wasn't that sudden. But for me, it was. I still wasn't sure if I really move on from Edward. I was only just starting to let go of him and trying to really love David.

But the truth was that I did love Edward. I always would, but that was inescapable. He left you Bella, get a grip. David is a good guy, he loves you and Edward doesn't, you could make him happy and finally move on. But lately I had a lot on my mind with the dreams and Gemma's wedding to organize.

Gemma was one of my closest friend, best friends but not my best friend. Gemma was a cool and fun type of girl who was exactly what I needed to get my life back on track and I loved her to bits. At the same time, Alice would always be, my one and only, best friend.

With the wedding going on, and me as maid of honour, it made me think of what Alice's millionth wedding would be like and if I would be the one helping her. I missed her so much, aswell as the others of course, but Alice was the one person to whom I could really share my thoughts. I needed her now. To help me through this mess. But like the rest of the family, she had left without saying goodbye. This had bothered me, was she just like Edward? Did she think I was just a distraction?

During the previous week, Jonathon, David's best friend let slip that wedding bells wouldn't be ringing for just them. He had been implying things along the same lines all week but I didn't think anything of it at the time. It all made sense now, and I had no idea of what to do. I needed to talk to someone. I could talk to Gemma, but it wouldn't be the same. Gemma only knew that I still loved Edward but she didn't know the exact details. For example, the fact that he was a mega-good-looking, mind-reading vampire who chose not to sacrifice humans...

After Jacob had put me back together, it was Gemma who really got me moving on and she helped me to get over Edward. She had originally set David and I up.

When I headed into work, I met Gemma at the nurses' station. I explained my story and to no one's surprise she jumped up and down squealing like a kid on Christmas.

"This is great! I can't believe it! Who would have guessed that the pair of us would be hitched by 26. I'm so happy for you!! Oh MY GOODDDD!!" She continued on congratulating me squealing and beaming with happiness for the rest of the morning. That didn't help my hangover-headache or her's.

Work continued on dismally throughout the day, well not really, I was just in a bad mood. At lunch, David texted to say that he could make lunch afterall as the operation had been cancelled. The patient had died. That was one of the worst parts of the job, the patients who you couldn't save…

Apparently, he would also like to introduce me to his new resident, a young surgeon from the States.

At least he couldn't propose so soon with a witness. You're being paranoid Bella he's not going to propose to you in the cafeteria. I needed to clear my head.

At lunch I was about twenty minutes earlier than David and so was Gemma. Our shift ended before his, (Gemma was one of the cardiac nurses and even though she was older than me. We were roommates throughout college and went on to the same hospital afterward.)

I needed her support, badly. I told her that I wanted to go over the wedding details again. She didn't need to be asked twice and she could sense that I was on edge about the proposal.

We talked about the wedding venue and the appointment for the dress fitting. Inevitably we chatted through how scared I was of marrying David. She reassured me that David and I were meant to be together and to relax.

This saddened me, as I had previously thought that Edward and I were meant to be together and look how that ended.

I had just relaxed when David rounded the corner of the cafeteria and my stomach tightened, I couldn't do this to him it's unfair to both of us. Marrying him would be cruel, as I couldn't love him as much as he deserved. And right after him was his new colleague, EMMETT CULLEN!!!. My heart stopped or so it seemed.