Truth or Dare: A Time of Your Life Interlude
Note: This takes place after the last chapter of "TOYL II".
Disclaimer: I own nothing except the characters of Armistead, Roberta, and Lady.
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They'd been sitting around the hotel room since returning from the show, as the town they were in didn't have any great clubs. Instead, after a trip to a liquor store - and in Mickie and Luke's case, a call to Mickie's parents to check on Roberta - seven couples - John & Maria, Mickie & Luke, Randy & Stacy, Matt & Ashley, Jeff & Candice, Chris & Barbie, and Dave & Lillian - and two others - DX - were crammed into John and Maria's room, sitting around, drinking and laughing.
Then Candice, with a gleam in her eye, suggested they all play Truth or Dare. This was greeted by grins and nods from DX - naturally they'd be up for something like this - Hunter in particular, while the rest of the guys looked at each other with 'we're doomed' expressions before John spoke for all of them by answering "Hell no!"
Of course, this went unheeded; the girls always got what they wanted. And so the game went on, with each person taking one turn. Shawn had to be mentally kicking himself when Hunter dared him to stand out on the balcony and sing the song 'I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General' from the musical H.M.S. Pinafore at the top of his lungs, which Hunter of course recorded on his cell phone and helpfully informed The Heartbreak Kid upon his return inside that his little performance would be on YouTube within forty-eight hours.
Stacy, Maria, and Kelly Kelly combined their turns, and both John and Randy glowered at Chris when he chose 'Dare' before either of them could even give their input.
Kelly squealed and collapsed on the floor giggling when he said that. The guys' expressions turned quite uncertain at that. Stacy gestured for Maria to speak, apparently not being able to without bursting out laughing herself. Maria turned to the three guys and grinned.
"We dare you to sing the N-Sync song 'Bye, Bye, Bye'."
John and Randy looked at Chris like they wanted to kill him, while everyone else laughed. Begrudgingly, they got up to sing, but Stacy interrupted them.
"Not in here," she forced out in a voice that said she was trying very hard not to laugh, "you have to do it on The Undertaker's balcony."
At that, Chris ran for the bathroom with John and Randy hot on his heels - John's hands outstretched to strangle Y2J - as everyone else laughed themselves sick. Eventually, the three were forced to do their dare, and everyone else sat in the room and giggled as the three stood on The Deadman's balcony and gave him a late-night serenade.
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The guys had only been gone about three minutes when there was a knock at the door. Maria got up and opened it, only to squeak in surprise when The Phenom himself stood on the other side, holding John and Randy by their t-shirts, one in each hand, while those two each had a death-grip on one of Chris's arms.
"Do these by any chance belong here?" Mark Callaway asked calmly.
Maria nodded, her eyes wide as dinner plates.
The Undertaker sighed. "Keep them away from my balcony, all right? Michelle and I were kind of busy."
Maria blushed in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry, Mark! We thought you'd probably be asleep by now...not...busy!" Her blush deepened as she said the last part. "Tell Michelle we're sorry, ok?"
The Phenom shook his head. "Actually, when I left the room, she was lying on the bed laughing so hard she was crying. I don't think you have to apologize; just explain what happened to her in the morning."
With that, The Undertaker said goodnight and returned to his room. John and Randy sat on the opposite side of the room from Chris, glowering at him, and everyone else got a big laugh at their expense.
"Ok, Jeff," Stacy turned to the former Intercontinental Champion, "your turn."
Jeff glanced around the room, trying to decide whom to pick, and Armistead grew nervous when the Rainbow-Haired Warrior's gaze landed on him.
"Truth or Dare, Luke?" Jeff asked.
"Truth," the former WWE Champion replied.
Jeff appeared disappointed by his choice, and Armistead grinned.
"You ain't gon' trap me into a song and dance number," he replied. "Sorry."
"It's cool," was the response, "I planned for both Truth or Dare."
"Shoot", the Richmond Rebel stated.
"Tell us something you wouldn't tell us normally."
Armistead thought a moment, racking his brain for something that the group would find interesting. Suddenly, it came to him and he grinned.
"I got it: I'll tell you three TV shows I used to watch regularly that might surprise you."
Jeff thought for a moment, apparently considering the implications involved, before nodding his acceptance. "Ok, go ahead...this should be interesting. What's number one?"
"Beverly Hills, 90210," was the reply, and most of the guys started snickering.
"Why that one?" Matt Hardy laughed.
Armistead shrugged. "Watch it sometime...they had some pretty girls on there."
John, Matt, and Jeff stopped to consider this, as did Hunter, while Shawn and Dave simply smiled and shook their heads at the reaction of those four. Randy and Chris, however, simply continued laughing.
"What's number two?" Jeff asked after thinking over the first part of Armistead's answer for a moment.
"Party of Five," Armistead replied, causing Randy and Chris to begin a fresh round of snickers.
"Reason?" was Jeff's response.
"Jennifer Love Hewitt was a cast member...need I say more, gentlemen?" Armistead asked, and smiles appeared on the faces of Jeff, Matt, John, Hunter - the last of which Shawn gave a reproaching look to, for he knew the thoughts that were running through his friend's mind right then - and even Randy and Chris stopped snickering to think of the gorgeous actress in question.
"We'll give you that one, man," John replied. "Can't say as I blame you for watching it." The Champ's response caused Maria to smack her husband's arm, causing him to give her a 'What was that for?' look.
"She wasn't the only reason," Armistead replied. "Toward the end of the show, the little sister on there had grown up to be quite a beautiful young woman."
To puncuate his statement, he did a Google search on his I-Phone and brought up a picture of said person and handed the I-Phone to John.
"Pass this around," he said.
John whistled appreciatively when he saw the picture. "Nice...but nowhere near as pretty as you are, babe!" he frantically reassured Maria when she made to smack him again.
"Not bad," Jeff stated when the phone was handed to him.
"I've heard her sing, too," Armistead replied. "She's got a beautiful singing voice as well."
[Author's Note: I watched the above two shows myself for those same reasons - I was in junior high at the time, so sue me - and both Ms. Hewitt and Lacey Chabert (for those who aren't familiar with the cast, she played the youngest sister on the show) are two of the most beautiful women I've ever seen in my life. If you haven't heard of Ms. Chabert, look her up on Google and see if you don't agree with me.]
Once Armistead's phone had made the rounds and had been returned to him, Jeff spoke up.
"Ok, what was the last show?"
Armistead sighed, knowing he was going to get razzed majorly for this one, but bravely replied.
"The original version of Power Rangers."
As the guys others died laughing, Armistead defended himself to the guys. "Hey, the Pink Ranger was hot! A petite brunette in skin-tight spandex...what more could you ask for?"
At that thought, John, Jeff, and Matt all managed to stop laughing long enough to think about this. Jeff - whose girlfriend was a brunette - turned to Candice and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively while giving her a goofy grin, causing her to burst out laughing.
"Whatever you're thinking, Jeff, the answer's no!"
Armistead noticed that Mickie, on the other hand, had a glint in her eyes that said she had an idea she was filing away for later. He knew she wouldn't tell him anything if he asked her, so he figured the best course of action would be to simply wait it out and see what happened.
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The following May
Armistead dragged himself in from his day out with the guys. It was his birthday, and to his surprise Mickie had told him he could have a guys' day that day, as she and the rest of the Divas had gotten a day at the spa. Armistead had dropped Roberta off at Mickie's parents' house and met the guys at his private harbor, where his yacht, the Alexis Laree, was tied up.
Armistead smiled, remembering the day Mickie had presented the vessel to him. As Mickie knew, her husband was a big history buff - with the American Civil War and World War II his particular favorites - so for their first wedding anniversary she wanted to get him something really special.
Thus entered the Alexis Laree, formerly known as kaibokan, or frigate Ikuna of the Imperial Japanese Navy. About a week after their wedding, Mickie had been searching the internet and by some miracle found the ship - albeit stripped of nearly all parts and a virtual shell internally - up for sale at a Japanese scrapyard. She paid for the ship to be completely refurbished in Japan - albeit making the officer's quarters into a large, family-sized cabin, along with the most up-to-date plumbing and eating facilities.
In addition to this, the ship was returned to her former fighting glory, with all guns and defense mechanisms working as well, although one had to sign quite a bit of paperwork to ensure the vessel's new owner wasn't going to suddenly decide to play 'Pirates of the Virginian Coast' if he got bored one day.
Two weeks before their anniversary, the ship left Japan for Virginia, arriving twelve days later at the dock Mickie had rented. Two days later, Mickie received her present from Luke - tickets for a suite on an Eastbound crossing on the Queen Mary 2, followed by a week in France and another in Italy - in the morning, and that afternoon she directed Luke to the dock where her present was moored.
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"You bought me a boat?" Excitement was evident in the Richmond Rebel's voice as he drove along the waterfront.
"Actually, you'd probably call her a 'ship'," Mickie replied. "I don't want you getting your hopes up here, Luke...she's pretty old; in fact, I found her in a scrapyard two months after we were married and I've been refurbishing her ever since."
"You practically rebuilt her yourself...now I know I'll love her," her husband stated, smiling affectionately at her.
"Turn here," Mickie replied, directing Luke down a road that led to docks exclusively for the larger yachts.
"Sweetheart, exactly what kind of 'ship' did you buy me?" Armistead asked, intrigued as they emerged onto the road leading to the private harbor. At that moment, his eyes caught sight of Ikuna moored at the largest berth, the Rising Sun naval ensign flying proudly on her stern flagstaff. The Richmond Rebel pulled into a nearby parking space and got out of the car, eyes wide at the sight of an actual vessel of the navy he studied so avidly.
"I'll be damned...an Ukuru-class kaibokan!" Armistead breathed.
Mickie got out of the car as well, grinning at Luke's reaction, and handed him a manila envelope containing the ownership papers and all other important documents concerning the ship.
"Happy Anniversary, babe."
Luke glanced through the papers, and it took him about ten seconds before he realized what they were showing. His wide-eyed gaze whipped to meet his wife's.
"She's mine?!"
Mickie nodded. "Free and clear. The only changes I made are to the inside."
Before she could say anything else, Armistead kissed her until she could barely stand up. Pulling back, her husband then ran for the gangplank at warp speed, giggling like a little kid. Mickie followed, pleased by his reaction.
They met up on the main deck, Armistead's gaze whipping around in reverent awe at what he was seeing.
"I cannot believe you had her towed here..." he trailed off, still trying to process what his wife had done for him.
"She wasn't towed, Luke," Mickie replied. "Her engines work fine." She giggled and pointed at the aft gun mount. "And so do all the guns. Almost everything's controlled by a computer on the bridge."
An eager grin came over Armistead's face as the implications there sank in.
"Before you start getting ideas," Mickie cautioned, "let me tell you I had to sign nearly fifty different release forms to ensure the Coast Guard you aren't gonna start playing pirate one day. They don't exactly just let you run around with a vessel like this carrying a full load of ammunition, you know."
After touring the ship completely - and thoroughly breaking in the bed in the new master suite - the couple went up to the bridge and Mickie watched her husband go through the motions of casting off and bringing his new vessel into the main channel so that her bow pointed seaward.
"You know," Mickie replied, a serious hint of mischief in her voice, "A bunch of the others pulled together and hired a yacht for the day. Wanna go hunt them down and give them a scare?"
"I love the way your mind works," Armistead replied, ordering up more speed from the ship's engines as they headed out into the open sea.
After a phone call to Maria, who eagerly described where they were, getting a fix on the slow-moving yacht's position was no problem. As the old frigate surged ahead at flank speed, Armistead ran back to the stern and lowered the Japanese naval ensign from the ship's flagstaff. He then ran forward some and ran up the battle ensign on the mainmast halyard.
In what seemed like no time at all, the yacht in question was sighted. As an added thrill, Armistead, trained out the forward gun, leveling it on the yacht. Naturally, the gun wasn't loaded; one shot from a gun like that would disintegrate a yacht. He glanced through a set of high-powered binoculars he'd hung around his neck, and laughed at what he saw.
"Everyone's out on deck, pointing at us, and those swimming in the water next to the yacht are scrambling back aboard faster than anything I've ever seen." He turned to his giggling wife, to whom he'd shown a few things about the workings of the bridge. "All engines Ahead Slow."
Mickie turned to the engine telegraph and moved it to the desired setting as the frigate - which was nearly six times the size of the sixty-foot yacht - gradually came right alongside. Armistead laughed as he saw his fellow roster members staring up at the frigate with trepidation, not knowing what to expect. He leaned out of one of the bridge windows on the port side.
"Ahoy there!" he hollered down to the group, grinning like he hadn't a care in the world.
"You gotta be shittin' me!" this came from John, and Dave started laughing.
"Isn't she beautiful?" Armistead yelled down. "Talk about an wedding anniversary gift, huh?"
"Holy shit...this thing is yours?!" Jeff gaped.
"Every last inch of her," Armistead replied proudly. "Be right with you."
"Stop engines," Armistead ordered as he left the bridge, reappearing on deck, dragging a rope ladder out of a nearby storage locker, lashing it to tie-downs on the hull, and tossing it over to the yacht.
"Come on over!" he called down.
The girls looked at the ladder uncertainly, but Jeff and Matt - used to performing dangerous stunts - eagerly seized the opportunity and scrambled up the ladder.
Seeing the two Hardys make it all right, Hunter grinned at Shawn like a little kid.
"I dunno..." Shawn hedged.
"Now, Shawn...don't be such a worrywart...what could possibly happen?" Hunter asked, grabbing onto the ladder and starting his climb.
Shawn grimaced. "You just jinxed us, Hunter!"
Thankfully nothing did happen, and one by one, the superstars and Divas made their way aboard. While Mickie gave the girls a tour of their quarters, Armistead and the guys strolled around on deck.
"Man, you gotta be worshipping the ground Mickie walks on right about now." John stated.
"Already did that," Armistead grinned at him, causing John to laugh.
"Gotcha."
"Y'all wanna have some fun?" Armistead asked as the group returned to the bridge.
"Do tell," Hunter automatically spoke up, and Shawn nodded like a little kid.
"Watch this," Armistead replied, walking over to the computer console, bringing up the fire controls for the forward gun, and ordering the computer to load the mount. About thirty seconds later, the computer informed him it was ready.
"Fire in the hole!" he yelled, pressing the button.
Simultaneously, the forward gun erupted with a roar, sending a five-inch shell zooming out to sea. Everyone clamped their hands over their ears, and Matt let out a girlish shriek in surprise, causing Jeff to double over in laughter.
When the smoke cleared, the group unplugged their ears, and several of them straightened up from having ducked instinctively at the loud noise.
"Cool!" Hunter and Shawn were the first to react.
"Dude, I almost wet myself!" Matt complained, causing Jeff to start laughing all over again.
"What the hell was that?!" Mickie's frantic voice came from the bridge stairwell.
"The guns work!" Armistead yelled down to her, causing the rest of the guys to snicker.
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Thus was the beginning of a new career for an old ship. She was registered in two different countries: as Ikara in Japan, and as Alexis Laree in the U.S., and Mickie was especially touched at her husband's gesture. When the local annual regatta was held, the star attraction was the 360-foot yacht with a single five-inch gun forward, a twin mount aft, and fully-loaded depth-charge racks on her stern. Quite a few of the yachts there represented lucrative companies, and Alexis Laree was no different; she was listed as representing the company her owner worked for, and flew the company flag from her signal halyards - in addition to a DX flag, of which Hunter and Shawn were quite proud.
As Armistead made his way upstairs, he smiled, remembering he'd planned to sail Ikara to Japan the following year so she could be present on May 27, the anniversary of the great Battle of Tsushima, for Japan's Navy Day. As soon as he made mention of the plan to the guys, DX - always up for an adventure - automatically volunteered to come along. No mention was made of how they planned to swing this 'vacation', but Armistead knew if there was a way to do it, Hunter and Shawn would find it. Of course, when he heard the words 'Vince', 'steamer trunk', 'Central Africa', and 'next-day air' all mentioned in one sentence, and then 'Vince', 'painted purple', 'air-drop', and 'hills of Afghanistan' in another, Armistead decided he wanted to remain as uninformed as possible.
As he started up the stairs, his cell phone vibrated, alerting him to a new text message. Stopping mid-climb, he pulled it out and saw the message was from his wife:
Roberta's at my parents for the night. I was thinking back recently to when we all played 'Truth or Dare' and you said the phrase 'A petite brunette in skin-tight spandex'.
Armistead rose an eyebrow. Where was she going with this? He texted back:
Yes, I remember...what about it?
Seconds later, his phone buzzed again:
Look up.
Armistead did so, and nearly fell over in surprise. The original Pink Ranger was standing at the top of the stairs. She reached up and removed her helmet, and Mickie grinned down at him.
"Happy birthday, Rebel," she stated in a sultry voice, which jarred Armistead into action.
"It's Morphin' time," he replied, running up the last few steps, sweeping his wife into his arms, and carrying her down the hall to their bedroom, Mickie's laughter trailing behind them.
It was one of the best birthdays the Richmond Rebel ever had.
THE END
Author's Note: Sue me for liking the original Power Rangers. Yes, the Pink Ranger was hot. It sucked what happened between Tommy & Kimberly on the show; why the writers never tried to fix it during Dino Thunder is a mystery.
Author's Note 2: Incidentally, if you wanna read a hilarious Power Rangers fanfic, check out one titled Of Love & Bunnies. It's a long one (101 chapters and counting), but it'll make you laugh until you can't breathe, which is always a good quality in a story.
R&R!