Disclaimer: Not mine. Thank you.
AN: I like this one, its 7th in the series, its a bit depressing, I put Rufus around 15. I'm sorry if Tseng seems out of character, just grit your teeth and tell yourself he was younger then, or that this is just a twisted story written by a stupid person, both are true.



What Makes a Man: Consequences


"The behavior might be [suicidal], but I'm certainly not."- Suzanne, Postcards From the Edge



He was lying on his bed when they found him. The sheets stained a deep crimson, and a small, sharp kitchen knife held in his limp hand.

At first they thought he was dead.

At first he might have been dead.

"Come on Rufie, wake up!" Reno had positioned himself next to the bed, so he could lean over it and stare at Rufus' closed eyes, searching for some sort of twitch.

Dark Nation stood on the other side of the bed, head cocked to the side, occasionally letting out worried meows.

It was the cat that had saved his life, casting a truly amazing cure spell over its master, and using up most of its natural magical power in the process. The wounds had been reduced to shallow grooves across and down the wrists, the lost blood had been restored…

But there was no way to tell if there was brain damage caused by the blood loss; brain damage that a cure spell couldn't heal.

So they waited, two praying, one hoping, and one knowing, in an odd taboo around the bed.

Reno glanced back at Tseng, who stood in the doorway, eyes unnaturally bright. "So, how's this gonna go down?" His voice was uneven.

The young man shrugged, "It depends on the outcome."

Rolling his eyes slightly, Reno looked to Rude, who was standing just behind him. "Translation?"

"If he l-" His sentence was cut short by movement on the bed.

Reno leaned in, peering closely at Rufus' face. "He's waking up!" the boy crowed, smile spreading across his features.

Rufus' eyes fluttered open. "What?" he murmured, looking at the circle of faces around his bed. "What's going on?"

"What's going on he says!" The red head turned to look at Rude, "What's going on… Gah!" He wheeled back to Rufus, "You almost died, that's what's going on."

"Oh," the blond boy yawned, "is that all."

Tseng smiled slightly, but his voice was laced with worry and loving anger, "Why on earth would you try to kill yourself Rufus? You had us all terrified."

Rufus looked up, half smile on his face, as if he had just received an unexpected surprise. "I wasn't trying to kill myself." He said quietly.

Rude raised an eyebrow.

"People have been saying things about me. They don't think I know about it, they lower their voices when I pass by." Rufus started, voice soft, "They say I'm not human, they say I don't bleed, that I don't feel pain. They all say that, all over Midgar. I was beginning to wonder, if maybe, they weren't right. But its not true." He raised one arm slightly, with a sad, bitter smile resting on his lips, "Its not true…"

"No shit its not true," Reno muttered, ran a hand through his messy red hair, and looked down at the blond boy, "but c'mon, if you wanted to check couldn't you just give yourself a paper cut or something?"

Rufus lowered his eyes slightly, "I just wanted to know, to really know. And, and once I started it was so easy… and my father wants to send me away and I- I…" He closed his eyes.

"Shhh, shhh, we understand." Tseng leaned over the bed and gently stroked Rufus' hair, "do you want to be left alone?" he asked.

Rufus shrugged, knowing he wouldn't really be alone; after all, that was how this came to be in the first place wasn't it? The Turks were called in for a short meeting, leaving Rufus to himself for a little while; obviously it had been a mistake. "Why-" he asked quietly, "Why does the world have to be so disappointing? It's like its missing something, you read books and watch movies and there's this beauty… but its not real, not real at all… Like the rumors… It seems that everything we do is based on lies… Why does the world have to be so disappointing?" He looked up at them, questioning them.

The three stood around him, Tseng still stroking his hair. Reno shrugged, "We don't know, Rufie. I don't know."

Rufus closed his eyes, "I'm sure things will look better later. I- I just want to get some sleep." He said, voice soft, "Just a little sleep…"

His voice faded, and he lay as they had found him, silent on blood stained sheets.