"I'd give her a go." Jay exclaimed upon seeing some scantily clad commercial actress who appeared during the adverts of whatever they were watching. As per usual, Neil sordidly nodded next to him, creating equally as sordid images in his head about what 'it' might be whilst Will either discussed the 'eloquence' of Jay's sentence or the misogyny and Simon made some comment about how the actress reminded him of Carli. Everything had become predictable, stale. Well, they had to Jay anyway. The others seemed quite content with their stock comments. Of course, there must be an explanation as to why Jay felt this. And, the fact was, he knew what it was. He'd known what it was for a long time.

It wasn't really anything to do with his friends. Neil's enthusiasm was always encouraging; Will's criticality was still as frustrating as it normally was; and Simon's Carli remarks still went relatively ignored. The problem was him. Jay. His comments were pure lies. And not like obviously fake sex story lies. This was one huge lie. It covered up his sexuality and had been covering up his sexuality for a long time. All this time it had been 'She'd get it' or 'I'd fuck her' as well as crap about clunge, tits, whatever and that's what was getting boring for Jay.

To put it bluntly, Jay Cartwright was gay.

It had crossed his mind many, many, many times to come out to someone, tell someone the truth, but chances were no-one would believe him anyway. If, by chance, people had thought his sex stories true, then surely no-one would actually believe he was actually gay? And if people hadn't thought them true, what were the chances they'd think this was?

Those were only the beginnings of his worries.

Reactions of people was what had crossed the teenager's mind the most. Sometimes, his friends and family were all he had, however, most of the time, he just had his friends. But, if he came out, if he told the truth, he might lose both and permanently. He wouldn't put it passed his dad to kick him out or hit him. He wouldn't put it passed his mum to just let either happen. He wouldn't put it passed his friends to be extremely uncomfortable with it all and denounce any friendship between them. That scared him most of all, losing the people that actual showed some care for him.

And that's why Jay masqueraded behind his total bullshit. The thought niggled at the back of his mind that someone would work it out eventually. See his lack of girlfriends, see his occasional glances at other guys, see that his false sexcapades were indeed that. He'd have to tell someone eventually and deal with the consequences. Even if for his own sake; having any sort of relationship would prove impossible if his was to keep up appearances.

"She'd get it." Jay remarked at another commercial model, not that he was looking at the female model in the advert. He'd get it. Jay thought to himself and a small grin appeared on his face,

"Thought you'd said you'd fucked that model already at some party Jay-Z invited you too?" Neil reminded him before he quickly nodded in response, not losing the smile.

So maybe he did bullshit to keep him closeted, but you had to give him one thing, his stories were fucking entertaining.