Summary: "What do you want?" "Just come quietly and no one gets hurt." Oneshot

Warning: Some teenytiny curse words, but they're hardly noticeable at all. Really! And…um…Seto playing around? Is that a warning? A bit of OOCness, but I just like making Seto relax. Cuz it's fun. XD

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Sadly, I don't even totally own the idea for this fic. But I'll explain about that later on in the author's note, because I don't want to ruin anything. 3

Anyway, here we go!

OOOO

Capturing The Dragon

The room was silent, the only sound a soft tap tap tap as pale fingers slipped across the keyboard of a laptop. The owner of the computer was engrossed in his work, so much to the point that the small click of the door sliding open almost went unnoticed. Almost. The fingers paused in their typing, as the owner listened for more sounds. But then the owner shook his head, and his fingers resumed their typing.

Slowly, silently, the door slid open, not even brushing against the carpet. A small figure in black ducked into the room, rolling along the wall in a clumsy ---but effective--- stream of summersaults.

Just as he reached the desk, the man at the computer paused again, narrowed eyes pulling away from the glowing screen and scanning the room. He noted the door left ajar, but the small figure hiding behind the desk was invisible from those searching eyes.

Another tense moment passed for the black-clad operative, but then the man went back to his computer again.

Silent as a mouse, the operative slipped out, creeping up behind the man at the computer. Carefully, slowly, so as not to alert the man, he pulled out his weapon, hand shaking a bit. Then he took it in both hands, steadying it, and pressed it against the back of the man's neck. "Come quietly and there won't be any harm."

The man froze, hands hovering uncertainly over the keyboard. "What--?"

The operative nudged the back of the man's neck with his weapon. "You heard me. Come quietly, and no one gets hurt. Now, turn around, hands where I can see them."

Slowly, the man turned, hands held up at shoulder height. Then, facing his assailant, he raised an eyebrow, scanning the operative up and down.

"…Mokuba, what are you doing?"

The operative pouted, weapon lowering ever so slightly. "Niisama, you're supposed to play along."

Cobalt eyes rolled, and the brunette sighed. "Mokuba, I have work to do. Now, if you'll excuse me…" Without another thought, he made to turn back around to his desk and the waiting laptop.

"Ah ah ah, Niisama, I wouldn't do that if I were you." The operative waved his weapon threateningly at his target.

Perhaps it was something in the operative's voice. Perhaps it was the threatening way he waved his weapon. Whatever it was, it made the young CEO pause, eyeing the weapon with distrust and wariness. "…what happens if I don't cooperate?"

The operative grinned. "You see, this may look like a simple water gun, but it is actually filled with real, thick, pure…grape juice. And that is such a lovely white coat you've chosen to wear today…" He left the threat hanging in the air, and it didn't take a genius to figure out what he was implying.

And Kaiba Seto was a genius.

There was a soft sigh, and Seto ---the target once more--- faced his assailant again, hands yet again up by his shoulders. "Alright, I'll play along. For now." Cobalt eyes offered grave consequences if he found out this wasn't worth his time.

The operative smiled again. "Alright, good. Up with you now."

Nodding, the prisoner stood. Then he half-bent over. "Just let me get my briefcase---"

"No! No no, I'm the one in charge now. You have to follow what I say. And I say no briefcase. We're going as we are."

The target sighed again, straightening in acquiescence. Then he took in the operative's appearance again, eyes narrowing. "Mokuba, is that mascara on your cheeks?"

More pouting, and just a tinge of embarrassed blushing this time. "We couldn't find any war paint. Niisama, play along."

"Yes, yes, I'll play."

The operative nodded, all business again, and waved the gun. "Okay, now out the door with you." Stormy eyes watching for any sort of sudden moves, he followed the target out of the office.

Outside, two more men in black waited, hands wrapped around their own weapons. Seto eyed the Super Soakers dubiously, noting the dark liquid sloshing in the plastic bubbles. More grape juice, it appeared… Turning to his assailant, he raised an eyebrow. "You hired the moron and the mutt as your henchmen? Somehow I expected better of you…" There was condescension dripping out of his voice, and one of the henchmen visibly reacted.

"Why you—!" The henchman's hands tightened around his weapon, and he moved to point it at the prisoner.

The other henchman tensed, hissing at his partner, "Jou, cool it! He's just trying to rile you up so you lose focus. Chill."

The blond henchman still seethed, but he settled back.

A smirk found its way to Seto's face, and he opened his mouth to say another sharp comment, but a small poke in his back kept him quiet. His smallest assailant nudged him towards the elevators. "Come on, we don't have all day. Lobby. Now."

The young woman Seto had hired as a secretary was watching it all with undisguised amusement, biting her lip to stifle her smile. However, as the group moved towards the elevator, she asked, "Kaiba-sama?"

The young owner waved a hand at her. "It's alright. I won't be gone long. However, cancel all my appointments for this afternoon, please."

The last glance he saw of her was her nodding as the silver doors slid shut.

For the first couple of floors, the prisoner was silent, watching the numbers pass above his head. Then he looked at the mastermind of this plot, asking, "Really, how long is this going to take?"

The operative just scowled, arms crossed stubbornly over his chest. "As long as it takes."

And that was all he would say, no matter how much Seto questioned him. Neither henchman would rise to his bait, either, though it was obvious that they were both seething by the time they reached the lobby.

It was probably quite the sight to see, once they actually reached the lobby. Seto Kaiba, the CEO of KaibaCorp and a formidable man to most, was frog-marched off the elevator, apparently by three men in black wearing make-up on their faces and holding water guns.

Security took an interest instantly, of course, thought they hesitated when they recognized the smallest of the attackers. Unsure, the security looked at their taller, captive employer. "Kaiba-sama?" they asked, echoing his secretary's question.

The brunette nodded slightly, waving them back. "Follow their demands."

The operative straightened, tucking his weapon into his pants, and for a moment Seto eyed it, wondering if he could possibly grab it and disarm him. The two weapons at his back halted him, though, and he simply stood there, hands at his shoulders. Another opening would come up, for sure, an opening less…harmful than this one. This situation wouldn't be survived without casualties, after all.

The operative felt in his pockets for a moment, before sighing and turning to his henchmen. "Cell phones?" Seto couldn't see, but he assumed the answer was a negative, because the smaller male's face fell. Then he blinked, suddenly reminded of the curious onlookers in the lobby. "Does anyone have a cell phone, please?"

There was a moment of silence, before some young man in a suit reached into his pocket, sliding his phone across the floor. The operative nodded his thanks, picking it up and punching in a familiar number. After a second, the person on the other end answered, and the operative gave his demands.

"Yes, it's me. I want a car brought around now. What? No, we talked about this. Not the limo. We want…um…let's do the BMW…yeah, the silver one, that has lots of leg room. Alright, we want it ASAP. No, no, we have our own driver, it alright. Oh? Oh, I didn't think of that. Um…lessee…okay, how about this? Two cars come, and then the second driver can pick up the first driver when we take the first car. Yeah, that'll work. No, I don't care what the second car is. Just have them both here in…ten minutes." Nodding, the operative snapped the phone shut, tossing it back to the young man who owned it.

Then he turned back to his captive. "Now, we wait."

It was a long ten minutes, and Seto was sure that most of the people in the lobby were milling around simply because they got to see their boss and employer being held hostage in his own building by his kin. He was sure he heard camera phones clicking away behind him, but no one in his sight had the tenacity to do such a thing, so he couldn't fire those people for being stupid and annoying.

But finally the sleek silver car pulled up in front, visible through the glass doors. The chauffer got out, looking confused for a moment, before another black-clad operative detached from the crowd and tapped him on the shoulder.

Seto groaned, seeing who the new driver was through the glass door. "Really? You had to bring Yuugi in on this? Mokuba…"

The operative turned, waving his gun again. "No talking. Just come quietly." He waved his weapon towards the door.

Had it just been the one assailant, Seto might have fought, but there were still two more attackers behind him, and those two would be more than willing to shoot at the slightest provocation. So Seto just nodded slightly, quietly following his attacker out the door.

He absolutely refused to sit between the mutt and the moron, though.

Mokuba sighed, crossing his arms. "Niisama, you said you would play along. So you have to play along."

Seto crossed his own arms, glowering at his little brother. "Playing along does not mean that I have to sit between those two. I'm not doing it."

There was a pause.

Then a deeply regretful look passed over the boy's face. "I guess…we have to pull out the big guns. Driver?"

Yuugi leaned over, obediently handing his phone through the passenger window. Without a word, the operative flipped it open, quickly scrolling through the camera photos. Then, finding the one he wanted, he looked up, grey eyes faking sorrow. "I told you, Niisama. If you just come quietly, no one has to get hurt."

Then he turned the phone around, revealing his final weapon.

Seto seethed, glaring at the picture of Bakura holding his three precious Blue-Eyes…and taking no account the severity of his situation, because the English boy appeared to be flashing the peace sign at the camera. It was hard to tell, being a tiny camera phone, but that's what it looked like.

Scowling, that icy cobalt gaze turned to the smallest of his attackers. "That's low."

The other Kaiba didn't back down. "That's war. Now do what you're told, please."

Grumbling to himself, he reluctantly agreed, sliding in after the mutt. Honda slid in after him, effectively blocking both exits. For a moment, Seto eyed both of the henchmen, and their much-too-big weapons. If he could overpower them, (and those weapons were too hard to maneuver in this car) he could leave, and find out where the silly English boy was and retrieve his cards with no harm done---

This plan of escape appeared to be something the mastermind planned for, because Yuugi handed Mokuba a backpack, easily pulling away from the curb, and Mokuba distributed smaller water pistols to Jou and Honda. Seeing his escape taken away, Seto reluctantly set back, dropping his hands in his lap.

A moment later, he let out a growl as Jou leaned over, wrapping a black cloth around his eyes.

"You'd better have a damn good reason, mutt."

The blond was grinning. It was audible in his voice. "Yeah. I do. My current boss told me to."

Seto smirked tauntingly, but, knowing the precarious position he was in, didn't make any sudden moves. "Somehow, I never took you as a dog-for-hire. What changed that?"

There was an awkward pause. Then the sound of something being handed over, something vaguely metallic. After a second, the mutt admitted, "…Mokuba said I'd…get to tie you up."

"Mokuba."

"Niisama."

The threat was readily apparent in Mokuba's voice, and Seto just gritted his teeth and held his hands out, letting the mutt slap the handcuffs around his wrist. Not without a steady stream of cursing, of course, that was a given. But they had his Blue-Eyes hostage; what else was he supposed to do? He had to follow their demands.

Twenty long minutes of driving later, the car stopped, and even Seto's near-photographic memory didn't help him pinpoint where they were. Yuugi probably drove around in circles most of the time just to confuse him. He heard the doors open, and he felt the moron get out of the car, and the butt of the mutt's water pistol nudging him to get out.

Slowly, and a little awkwardly, he managed to climb out of the car, standing quietly and resisting the urge to tug the blindfold off. He had to play along…

Two hands grabbed his forearms, and from the sound of it both the mutt and the moron were guiding him to…wherever they were going.

"Where are we going?"

From behind him, Yuugi answered calmly, "To see the judge."

…o…kay…?

After much maneuvering ---and much-delayed instructions like "Mind the steps!" and "Door!"--- Seto felt himself being settled down into a chair. The two henchmen-for-hire took up positions behind him, with their weapons probably pointed at him, before someone ---either Mokuba or Yuugi, Seto couldn't tell--- tugged the blindfold off.

Blinking at the sudden lights, Seto found himself sitting in the main part of the Black Crown game shop, facing the check-out counter. And behind the counter, clad in long black robes and his characteristic solemn face, was…

Frowning, Seto turned to his scheming little brother. "I want another judge. This one's biased."

Otogi tapped on the countertop with a water-bottle (it wasn't like gavels just fell out of the sky) and said, "Court is in session. No changes."

Seto scowled again. "Then I want a lawyer," he demanded.

The dice master grinned. "That we can provide you." He waved a hand, and from the back room came a familiar white-haired Englishman, attempting to mimic the courtroom mood by wearing a neat little sweater-vest-slacks combo. Seto groaned as the boy came to stand beside him, eyeing the one who so carelessly pawed his cards for that picture.

"You're my lawyer?"

Bakura grinned down at him. "Yup!"

The judge banged on the counter with his water bottle-gavel again. "Order! Court is in session! Defendant, how do you plead?"

"Not---"

"My client is totally guilty of all charges, your honor."

"Hey!"

More scowling was sent Bakura's way, and the albino teen shrugged. "Sorry, but it's true."

Cobalt eyes turned to the 'judge'. "Alright, what are that charges against me? I have a right to know that much, at least." Then he'd be able to say without a doubt that he was not guilty, and they could stop this foolish little game.

Emerald eyes lit up, and that seemed to be just the thing Otogi was waiting for, because from under the counter he pulled out several sheets of paper. "Alright. The charges are, as follows: On the second of last month, the defendant missed a dinner appointment with his charming younger brother that had been planned for a week. He consequently missed the next three dinners, and all the follow-up re-schedulings that were attempted. On the fourth of last month, the defendant ignored an attempt of a friendly lunch with Yuugi-sama, simply walking by without a word of yay or nay. Also on the fourth of last month, the defendant called the most honorable Jounouchi-san a "worthless mutt who couldn't sniff his way out of a paper bag" without taking into account that Jounouchi-san was congested that day and, therefore, could not smell anything."

"Not true!" the defendant interrupted. "I totally took that in to account!"

Behind him, he could hear the mutt muttering, "See? I told ya, Honda. I knew he did that insult on purpose! You owe me ten bucks. Fork it over, buddy."

More water bottle banging. "Silence! That charges have not been finished!" Glowering at the assembled, Otogi went back to his reading of accounts. "On the tenth of last month, the defendant made a housekeeper cry for forgetting to vacuum in master Mokuba's room ---not that it would be noticed, because the boy is not the cleanest housekeeper ever, if you haven't noticed. On the fifteenth of last month, the defendant…"

On and on the list went, every grievance and brush-off this little group could think of put on paper. It took forty-five minutes, and Otogi went through six sheets of paper. And it was only cataloguing the last two months.

"—and lastly, just yesterday the defendant forgot to call his wonderful little brother to say that he wouldn't be coming home for dinner, leaving the venerable Mokuba-sama worried and waiting up way past his bedtime to see you." Snapping the papers down on the counter, Otogi peered at the defendant. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Well, I—"

"Your Honor."

"I—what?"

Emerald eyes were definitely dancing with mischievous glee. "I am the judge. Call me 'Your Honor'."

Gritting his teeth, Seto halfheartedly did as he was told, mustering up as much sarcasm as he could find in the depths of his soul. "Well, Your Honor, there were extenuating circumstances for all of those charges—"

"I'm sure there were." Otogi leaned back in his chair, water bottle in hand, just in case a hearty round of 'gavel' banging was needed. "However, I'm sure no one in the court wants to hear your petty excuses, so on to the sentencing!" Happily, he banged away at the counter.

Seto just glared at Bakura. "You're not a very good lawyer. Give me my cards."

The albino boy shrugged, grinning impishly. "Of course not. What I know of courtrooms I got from watching Law & Order on TV. And do you really think I would be so stupid to come to you carrying your cards? Don't worry, they're safe. They're just not with me."

Gritting his teeth, forced to endure this a little longer, Seto sat back, awaiting his sentence.

Otogi pounded the water bottle again, calling for silence. "The charges have been read, and the defendant has been found 'Guilty'! As such, he is punished to…a week of no work and the requirement of ten hours a day spent with Kaiba Mokuba-sama!" More water-bottle-pounding.

Cheers erupted around the courtroom from everyone but the defendant, who stood up calling his own objections. After a moment (and more pounding on the countertop) the judge looked at the defendant. "You have something you wish to say?"

The defendant rose from his seat gesturing his frustration by waving his locked hands. "You can't just say 'no work for a week'! I have a company to run!"

Unfortunately the judge had a comeback for that. "And I'm sure you have very competent people working under you, so it would be no problem for them to take over for a while. Unless you hired only morons so you could be the only one working, in which case you are the moron. And you're not. Next argument."

"What about meetings? I have meetings to go to that require my presence next week."

"Reschedule them. Next."

Sadly, that was as many excuses as Seto's mind could come up with at the moment. Frantically searching for another excuse, the brunette looked around, and saw no pity in the court's eyes. They were all on the prosecutor's side. Stupid biased court, stupid biased judge, stupid biased brot—

"If you make me stay ten hours a day with Mokuba, I'll go nuts."

Alas, no one could argue that. Anyone who had to spend an extended amount of time with the hyperactive, sugar-loving Kaiba would probably lose it, not just misanthropic Seto.

Judge Ototgi took it into consideration, leaning back as he pondered this dilemma.

Then his eyes lit up with wicked glee, and he leaned forward again.

"In that case, your revised sentence is to spend time with various members of this court, up to and no less than ten hours a day. And you still can't work."

There was a pause.

Then Seto's shoulders slumped in defeat, and he mumbled something along the lines of "Rather shoot myself first."

Otogi heard enough of that to make his ruling, and he enthusiastically pounded the water bottle on the counter. "Then the original sentence it is! Court is adjourned!"

More cheers went up as Seto plopped back down into the seat, rubbing his forehead. He could already hear Mokuba chatting away on someone's phone, probably telling his secretary to reschedule and/or cancel all his meetings for a week, because he wasn't going to go in to work.

As much as Seto was annoyed by his brother's scheming plotting ways, he had to admit he was impressed.

Unfortunately, spending time with Mokuba meant he probably had to spend time with the geek squad, too.

Damn.

Sighing, he glanced up as the mastermind of this whole charade bounded over, happily crawling into his big brother's lap. Slightly awkwardly, Seto wrapped his handcuffed arms around the boy, asking, quite simply, "What was this for?"

Mokuba just beamed, rubbing at his cheeks and smearing the mascara-war paint. "You were working too hard, Niisama. An intervention was needed. And now we get to spend a whole week together! Yay!" The boy laughed, wrapping his arms around the brunette's neck, and hugged him.

Seto, ever uncomfortable with such public displays of affection, shifted slightly, eyeing the little crowd of Yuugi's friends, still high-fiving each other and cheering. Really, Seto didn't get it. Was it was big of an accomplishment to get him out of the office and playing this silly little game?

…actually, it probably was, yeah.

And to have him agree…

Okay, if he thought about it, it made sense why they were cheering.

Still annoying as hell, though.

But he didn't say anything, not even as Mokuba hopped off his lap, tugging at Jou and Yuugi's sleeves. And he wanted to protest greatly when Mokuba chirped out, "Let's go celebrate! Operation Capture The Dragon was a success!"

He didn't even say anything as Yuugi and Jou and Honda wiped the mascara off their cheeks, and Otogi tugged the 'robes' (which Seto could now see where just simple black bedsheets) off. Instead, he looked at Bakura, glowering at the albino the famous Kaiba Stare that had been known to make grown men cry.

"My cards."

The Englishman wasn't fazed, though, just grinned down at him. "Oh, don't worry, they're at your home, in your deck. I just held them while Mokuba took a picture. It was the only way he was sure you'd come along."

Any other time, Seto would have been annoyed and pissed. But he had to admit, Mokuba could be very cunning when he tried to be.

Sighing again ---and feeling too impressed by Mokuba's plot to get too pissed--- the brunette stood, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair. A jerk on his other wrist made him remember the previously forgotten handcuffs, and he glared around the room until he spotted the mutt.

Scowling, he stomped his way to the blond, holding out his hands. "Release me. Now."

He was horrified when Jou got a sheepishly smug look on his face.

The horror only deepened when Jou said, quite cheerfully, "I dunno where the key is. Sorry!"

He didn't sound sorry.

There was a hesitant moment of stunned silence on Seto's part, and Jou took the opportunity to bolt out of the Black Crown, laughing as he darted down the sidewalk.

A moment later, Kaiba was stalking after him.

"JOUNOUCHI, YOU DAMN MUTT, GET BACK HERE!"

OOOO

I actually got the whole fake kidnapping/trial thing from a wonderful Numb3rs fic called Intervention by ALEO. They had similar concepts, but that doesn't mean I stole their story. As you can see if you compare the two, my story is different. Cuz…it is. So I didn't steal it! D:

Don't own Law and Order either.

So, I set this a couple of years after the end of the manga series, so that's why Yuugi can drive. Mokuba never changes though, at least not in my mind. I figure, not matter how old that kid gets, he's still gonna be a hyperactive ball of fluff. 3

Anyway, tell me what you think, yeah? I would love you to pieces if you did. I guess the review button isn't purple anymore, but it's still just as easy to push! So…push! 3

See you soon!