Notes:
I finished and posted this on Tumblr some time ago, thought I might post it here too. I had this on my hard drive for I while or ever since Shaving People Punting Things posted a video called See No Evil.
Not beta-read, so all mistakes are mine.
Let me know that you think! Enjoy!
"Ohh come on Sam, you're acting like this is the first time you woke up blindfolded. It's not, is it?" said Dean as he walked into the bunker with Sam and Cas.
"Dean. Does the fact that you just woke up gagged and not remembering why not worry you at all? Not to mention that we were hunting a witch when it happened," asked Sam irritated. Waking up blindfolded, not for the first time but Dean did not need to know that, in the woods, and not remembering what happened was not something Sam was a fan of.
"What I don't get is why she only blindfolded you, Sam. I can get why she gagged Dean. He wasn't saying the nicest things about witches before we blacked out. And why did she tie that fabric over my ears?" asked Cas as he sat down in one of the chairs at the table in the library. Dean took off his jacket and throwing it over the back of the chair next to Cas before sitting down.
"Wait, blindfold, gagged and… Hear, see and say. I think she put some kind of curse on us that affects our hearing, sight, and speech," said Sam as he ran to the other side of the library to look at some books.
"What like that see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil thing? That doesn't make any sense, I can still speak."
"Unless it's the hole speak no evil thing," said Sam without looking up from the book he was reading. "I'm pretty sure I'm right since I can't read half off that this book says."
"So what, I can't say anything bad? kcuf that!" said Dean. Castiel and Sam both stop that they were doing and stared at Dean.
"Wait, what did you just say?" asked Sam as he put down the book and walk back to where Dean and Cas was.
"I can't say anything bad?"
"No after that," said Sam, who had pretty much figured out what was happening. All he needed now was for Dean to prove him right or wrong.
"Umm, kcuf that?"
"Dean, you just said kcuf that. Knowing you, you were probably trying to say Fuck that, am I right?" After his brother confirmed his suspicion Sam turned to Cas. "Cas, can you hear me say Fuck?"
"No, I can just see you moving your lips," answer Cas.
"Son of a hctib! I hate witches. Sammy, we need to fix this. No way can I go through life without cursing," said Dean, who was getting pretty pissed off.
"Relax Dean! We will figure this out. But I'm afraid I won't be much help in the researching, so you and Cas are going to have to do that."
"Taerg! I evol hcraeser!" With that, he stood up and stormed to the bookcase that Sam had been looking at before and started looking through the books there.
Dean noticed that both his brother and best friend were looking at him like he had just grown another head. "What?"
"Were you just trying to say that you loved reading or something like that?" asked Sam, only being able to figure it out because he knew his brother so well.
"What, I can't use sarcasm anymore?"
"Sarcasm can be seen as another form of lying, Dean," said Castiel with a disapproving look on his face.
"How am I supposed to do my job without lying?" asked Dean, with a hint of panic in his voice.
Before Sam could answer his brother, Highway to Hell started playing in Dean's jacket.
"Ohh! Cas, can you get that for me," asked Dean while he picked up few books and started making his way over to his brother and best friend.
After looking through all the pockets on Dean's jacket, Cas finally found the phone and answered it. "Hello?…This is Dean's phone…Is anybody there?…Hello?…"
"Give me that!" said Dean as he took the phone away from Cas. "Hello… oh, hey, Lisa. Sorry about that! My friend and technology don't mix. What's up?…They found another one?… And it had the same marks as the other bodies?… Yeah, thanks, Lisa."
Before Dean even had the chance to hang up, Sam had gotten ready to head out.
"Listen, Sammy, why don't I go to the hospital and check this out and you and Cas stay here. You are much better at research than me, even if you can't read. Besides, Lisa will be there and she was totally checking me out earlier."
~Supernatural~
"Hey, I'm back!" called Dean as he walked through the doors.
"Great, how did it go?" asked Sam as came out of the kitchen.
"Well, I have a date tomorrow with Lisa," said Dean smiling. "You have no idea how hard it is to get a date without lying a little bit."
"The case, Dean," said Sam as he rolled his eyes at his brother.
"Oh yeah. I didn't find out anything new at the hospital but Yelworc called and asked us to meet him. Apparently, he knows something that can help us."
"I'm sorry. Who called?"
"Yelworc"
"Who?"
"Oh etib me, hctib!" said Dean, but when he remembered that he couldn't curse, he sent his brother the finger just for good measure.
"Jerk! By the way, I can't see that Dean. Your hand just became one big blur. What did Crowley want in return?"
"Nothing bad as far as I can tell. He said the witch, that we are after, is a friend of his mom and he wants her dead. Hey! Where is Cas?"
"Ohh he's watching tv. He can finally enjoy TV without all the swearing."
"Our innocent little angel. Go get him so we can leave."
~Supernatural~
"Great he's not even here yet!" said Sam as he got out of the Impala.
"Sam, he's…" Started Cas, before Dean stamped on his foot. Castiel had learned from working with Dean what if Dean did that to him, he should stop whatever it was that he was doing at the time.
"Squirrel, why has moose suddenly decided to take a page out of the angels' book and get up close and personal with me?" Came Crowley's voice right next to Sam. Dean couldn't help but laugh when Sam nearly fell trying to back away from where he thought Crowley was.
"What did he just say? I could see that Crowley was talking but I couldn't hear anything," said Castiel with his head tilted to the side.
"It doesn't matter Cas. Now, what do you know Yelworc?" said Dean since Sam seemed to be lost in his thoughts at the moment.
After sending Dean a weird look, Crowley started talking. "Not much. I know she went by the name Ursula back when my mom knew her."
"Like in The Little Mermaid?" asked Dean and that seemed to finally snap Sam back.
"You watch The Little Mermaid?" teased Sam.
"On!" Dean quickly remembered that he couldn't lie so he added, "Fine I watched it! Mermaids are hot, Sam!"
"They are half fishes! You don't even like fish!" before Dean could reply with some snappy comeback, Sam said, "It doesn't matter, I think I have figured out who it is."
"Just from hearing the name?" asked Crowley.
"No, Castiel helped me figured it out," said Sam.
"He did?" asked Dean at the same time Cas asked, "I did?"
"Yeah, you can't hear anything evil. I thought it was just lies or something like that but you can't hear what Crowley says either. Who else couldn't you hear? Someone that knew we were looking into the murders in town."
"Lisa, mmad it! Why are the hot ones always yzarc?" asked Dean disappointed.
~Supernatural~
It turned out Sam was right and Dean ended up killing Lisa. But only after they were 100% sure that the curse would break if they killed her.
Crowley had been no help whatsoever and had disappeared shortly after they had gone after the witch.
Cold and covered in blood the Winchester brothers and Castiel made their way back to the Impala. When they had just gotten into the Impala, Dean yelled, "Son of a bitch!"
"What's wrong?" asked a worried Castiel while Sam asked "Are you hurt?" in a panic and started looking for an injury he might have missed earlier.
"What? No, I'm just checking if everything is normal again. By the way, I love your haircut Sam," said Dean with a big smile before starting going over every swear word he knew.
~Supernatural~
Author's note:
When Dean is swearing under the curse, I just wrote the worlds backwards, so people might figure out what he was trying to say when he was lying.
kcuf = fuck
hctib = bitch
Taerg! I evol hcraeser! = Great! I love research!
Yelworc = Crowley
On! = No!
mmad = Damm
yzarc =crazy