A Prayer from Parker

Seeley Booth sat on his son's bed. Parker came back from the bathroom and said, "Okay, Dad, teeth brushed."

Booth stood up. Parker climbed into bed. Booth gave him a hug and a kiss on the head and tucked him in.

As Booth left the room, he said, "I love you, Parks. Don't forget to say your prayers."

"I love you too, Dad. I will."

Parker lay in his bed and prayed:

Hey, God, it's Parker Booth. I've been working real hard at being good. I'm doing okay with that – most of the time. For one thing, I've been doing my homework without any nagging from Mom or Dad. And, I've been trying to help with the dishes and stuff without being asked. I hope that's enough because there's something I really need your help with.

Can you please fix things between my Dad and Bones? Hannah's okay, but Dad's nowhere near as happy with her as he was with Bones. I don't know what happened with Bones, but could you please fix it. I'm pretty sure he really loves Bones and I do too and I miss seeing her so much.

I promise I'll try even harder to be good. I just want my Dad to be happy like he used to be.

Anyway, thanks for Dad and Mom and Pops and Bones and Max, and Hannah too, I guess. And, please take care of all of them.

Amen.

With that Parker drifted off to sleep with a happy dream of himself with his Dad and Bones watching a movie, all flopping together on Bones' living room sofa and laughing their heads off.

Booth paused just outside the door and chuckled to himself hearing Parker describing to God his efforts to be good. He was proud of his son for making those efforts and largely succeeding. When Parker told God he needed his help, Booth chuckled again, expecting Parker to ask for help with an upcoming test or at the next game. When he heard what Parker actually wanted help with, Booth froze.

Parker was saying what Booth had been trying to not say to himself for weeks. Had he been happier in love with Bones as "just partners" than he was with Hannah in a real and openly loving relationship? Did his 10-year-old son understand him better than he understood himself?

Booth sank to the floor, his head sinking into his hands.

He'd been trying to avoid this for weeks, at least since the night he'd pulled Bones out of the path of that speeding car, and she had admitted to making a mistake in telling him no that night outside the Hoover. Then she had cried at her missed chance with him. He'd said he didn't want to hurt her, but clearly he had. He had never seen her cry like that. Was he now going to hurt Hannah too? Two wonderful, beautiful, brilliant, brave women that he loved and all he could seem to do was hurt them.

Reflexively, his eyes turned upward, as he thought, "God, forgive me. I never meant to hurt them. They don't deserve this pain. They both deserve love and protection. Believe me, that's all I wanted to do for both of them. Forgive me for screwing it up so badly. I doubt they will."

And, the tears stinging his eyes finally overflowed.

The next thing Booth knew Bones was saying "Wake up, Seeley, wake up."

"This is odd," he thought, "I don't think Bones has ever called me 'Seeley.'"

Then he noticed she was trying to pull her hand from his and he called out, "Bones, don't go. I love you. I really do."

Bones kept saying, "Seeley, wake up," but now she was morphing into Hannah.

It wasn't Bones telling him to wake up, it was Hannah, he finally realized. It was all just a dream He opened his eyes and saw Hannah staring at him intently, still saying, "Seeley, wake up," and shaking his shoulder.

Booth looked back at Hannah and their eyes met. He couldn't decipher the look that crossed her face, as she said, "Seeley, are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Why are you asleep on the hall floor? Did you drink too much?"

"God, no."

"Then why? Was your back bothering you?"

"No, no. I, I was listening to Parker's bedtime prayer and it was kind of long. I guess I sat down as I listened and then dozed off."

"What on earth could he have been praying for that took so long that you had to sit down?"

"Nothing, really, Hannah. He was just telling God what a good boy he'd been and then asked for some help with, with some kid type stuff."

Hannah looked directly into Booth's eyes and asked, "Really?"

Booth looked away, replying, "Yeah."

"Why do I feel like I'm lying to her?" he thought. He could feel her eyes still on him, trying to make contact with his eyes.

Booth looked at her directly and started to ask, "How long were you …," he trailed off and started again, "What did you hear?"

Booth saw the pain in her eyes as she said, "It sounded like you were asking Bones not to go and telling her you really love her."

"That's what I said in the dream I was having. She was trying to get me to wake up and then she was trying to leave. I was trying to stop her." He gave her a sad and questioning look. He didn't know what else to say. Sorry seemed inadequate, but he quietly added, "I'm so sorry, Hannah."

"You were asleep, Seeley. You can't control your dreams." Hannah took a deep breath and tried to control the tears sparkling in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Hannah, really. I never …."

"Do you love her? Are you in love with her?"

"I've always loved her, but after I met you, I didn't think I was in love with her any more. I thought I was in love with you. I do love you, Hannah, really, I do."

"I know you do, Seeley. I never doubted it for a minute. I still don't. But, what happened just now confirmed something that's been gnawing at me for a while now. You love Temperance more. And, I deserve to be the one who is loved more."

Hannah could see the sadness in his eyes, as Booth said, in a husky voice, "You're absolutely right. You should be loved more. You are a warm, wonderful woman. Beautiful and brave and brilliant. But, I guess my heart still belongs to Bones."

Booth reached for Hannah's hand and pulled her into his arms. He hugged her so tightly she seemed barely able to breath. He kissed her hair as he quietly said, "I'm so, so sorry Hannah. I really thought my heart was free."

Hannah pulled away and looked directly into Booth's eyes. A solitary tear rolled down her cheek and Booth reached over to brush it away. Hannah took his hand in hers and said, "It's ok, Seeley. Really. Fortunes of war, in a way, I guess. What's been clear to me for months is that you are not the same man I met in Afghanistan. Only half of you was there. Unfortunately, it turns out I'm not your other half; that's Temperance."

Booth started to say, "I'm sor…."

Hannah put a finger to his lips and continued, "I'll be ok. They've been begging me to come back to Afghanistan, and I've been torn between being with you and bored with the work and being without you and loving the work again. At least I've learned how much I hate being a journalist in DC." She gave him a sad smile.

With an equally sad smile, Booth replied, "So it wasn't a total loss."

"No, Seeley, it wasn't. I wouldn't give up any of the time we've had together. It's just time for both of us to get back where we belong: me to Afghanistan and you to Temperance."

They rose together and Booth pulled her into his arms one last time and said, "Thank you, Hannah. I wouldn't have missed any of our time together either."

Hannah pulled away and headed toward the bedroom, saying, "I'm just gonna throw a few things in my pack, and I'll come back on Monday while you're at work to get the rest of my stuff."

She was in there for less than a minute. When she came out, she turned to him and with a rueful smile observed, "Benefit of being a nomad: not much to pack."

As she headed out the door of the apartment, she said, "Just hold on to her this time, Seeley. Spare everyone the pain."

Booth just stood there staring at the door until a small voice asked, "Is she coming back, Dad?"

"No, Parker, she's not." He turned to his son who looked happier than he had in a long time.

"Can we have breakfast at the diner this morning?"

"Sure, buddy, whatever you want."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Can Bones come too?"

"I don't think she'd want to …."

"Of course she would, Dad. She loves us."

"I'll call her, but don't get your hopes up, Parks."

"It'll be ok, Dad. I'll handle it. Gimme your phone." Parker put his hand out.

Booth stared at his son in disbelief as he handed him the phone. Parker punched the speed dial button for Bones. Then Booth heard this:

"Hey, Bones, it's Parker."

"We're good, Bones. Will you meet us as the diner for breakfast in an hour?"

"No, she left and Dad says she isn't coming back."

"Great. Should we pick you up?"

"How's 45 minutes?"

"See you then, Bones. Love you. Bye."

Booth was stunned by this conversation, especially that his son had just told Bones that he loved her so casually.

Parker handed the phone back to Booth and said, "We better hurry if we're going to be at Bones' house in 45 minutes."

"Yeah, Parker. Thanks for working all that out."

"No biggie, Dad. I told you: she loves us." With that Parker ran off to the bathroom.

Booth stood there for a moment still in shock over Parker's conversation with Bones. Then he lifted his eyes towards heaven and thanked God for helping Parker.