A/N Written for Morsmordre's fan-fiction challenge, Death Eater Of The Month. Be warned - weirdness will ensue.
Fried chicken. How could Yaxley describe it? It's beautiful perfection, it's slimy surface. He sat with a bucket of it right now, in the drawing room of Malfoy Manor. Wait, slimy fried chicken? Yaxley lowered his nose to the chicken and sniffed. The smell of saliva entered his nose - Amycus. He had licked Yaxley's chicken, how dare he! Yaxley stood up, and still clutching his bucket of fried chicken to his chest as he ran into the kitchen. Amycus was sitting at the table, accompanied by the Maisie and Alecto (the latter of which currently biting a muggle shiny). Amycus was licking a pygmy puff and looked up surprisedly when Yaxley banged the table with his fist. "Why, Amycus, is my fried chicken licked?" Yaxley boomed. Amycus looked up at him defiantly and replied "It was the chicken's fate." Alecto heard this, and abandoned her muggle shiny to lean across the table and whack Amycus with The Daily Prophet. Yaxley was satisfied with this punishment as he sat down to his afternoon bucket of fried chicken. He ate it contentedly as Alecto returned to her normal meal of muggle cookie that the Maisie had handed her. After a silent afternoon tea, Yaxley went to the bathroom and set his fried chicken beside him. He cleaned his teeth and then turned to his fried chicken. He took a pink cloth out from a drawer labelled YAXLEY CHICKEN. He took the cloth and started scrubbing the bucket containing the chicken vigorously, continuing on to the delicate polishing of the chicken itself. Satisfied with his now, sanitised fried chicken, he went to his bedroom and climbed into his nest of blankets. Yaxley wrapped his arms around his bucket of fried chicken, smelling it's wonderful scent, and drifted off into dreams where he danced with his fried chicken.
A/N: I warned you of the weirdness. The forum of Morsmordre knows they're entirely to blame for this. More chapters might actually come.