Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who but I own a comfy chair and I am not afraid to use it.
Right then I'll just start off by saying:
1) I am in a real angsty mood right now and am in desperate need of cheering up.
2) When I am in an angsty mood I write
3) I liked Rienette, and blame the whole GITF on Ten.
4) I know this idea has been done to death but I had to do it too and Yes Mum, I would jump into the Thames if me mates did.
5) If you all harm me I won't be able to finish the Dancing We Don't See as soon as I would like.
6) There is no rule Six
7) I know two verses of Bizarre Love Traingle are mixed up but I needed them there for the story
8) This is unBeta'd because I didn't want to bother my lovely Betas with this.
9) Apparently, I've got a gob worse than Ten when I get going..
10) I'm done
Characters: Ten/Rose/Rienette
Rating: G
Spoilers: Season 2 after GITF
The Doctor's Bizarre Love Triangle
Every time I think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind…
It was at night he thought about it the most, he thought about her. Rienette, She had been a sweet child-woman. She had made the bad judgment of deeming him worthy of her love. Rienette had been safe to admire and adore. She had her place in the world, in history and not even he could have changed that, though at the time he had wanted to change it. He had wanted to alter time for his pleasures and may have if time had not seen fit to make the decision for him.
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
While every day my confusion grows…
It was not Rienette he wanted, he realized after the fact. Yes, he had admired her and adored her. He had even loved her. She would have been hard not to love, so sweet and so welcoming. He would have brought her to the TARDIS, regretting the action in his more clear headed moments but he would have had her here as a way to control his desires for the other child-woman in his life. He wanted Rose, for all the reasons he thought he wanted Rienette and so many more.
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be
Rienette had been safe because she was temporary, she belonged to time, not him. Rose was real life and she would be his forever, the idea was terrifying. Rienette had loved him, and he had loved her but it had been a love that he had known could never be and that made it acceptable. Rienette was safe to love because she wouldn't take his hearts and leave him cold. She had seen more of him than anyone ever had but she had not lived with the consequences. She had only tasted the darkness in him briefly.
Rose had seen him through some of his darkest moments. She hadn't judged him or criticized him. She brought him back to himself when he had gone too far off the path. She offered him light and life. Rose offered forgiveness when he could find none for himself. She had offered and he had taken not thinking about the cost until now.
I feel fine and I feel good
I'm feeling like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday…
Rose had said she'd forgiven him for leaving her and Mickey behind on the space station and he had no reason to doubt her. Rose had always been forgiving if not quick to forgive. She said she had forgiven him but he knew without a doubt he had hurt her. She played at being his best friend, a fiction he knew she thought he was most comfortable with, but it felt more like an act to him now. There was a coldness to her that he saw more and shadows her eyes couldn't hide. He wanted to beg her to be with him again. He wanted her to be his Rose again. He wanted her to love him.
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say
He thought he could tell her. He wanted to tell her how he felt. He almost told Ida. He wanted to tell Ida to give his Rose one last message, to let her know his last thoughts had been of her, of the fact that he loved her. In the end, cowardice had won. He had brushed it off telling Ida instead; Rose knew what he wanted to say.
Then he'd had her in his arms again. She was home and safe. He should have told her. The words of the beast were fresh in his mind, the prophecy he wanted to be a lie and feared was true. Rose was with him and he had all the time in the world to tell her all that he felt. Instead, he waited and once more was left praying for Rose to say the words he could not say.