TryingTooHard

Part I- Realization

Soul was sitting on the couch. Sitting. Processing. Definitely not thinking about anything that happened last night. His right knee was not bouncing like it always did when he was anxious. His stomach wasn't full of butterflies. None of that was happening right now. If you're thinking that Soul was lying to himself, then you would be right.

"Soul?" Maka ran a hand in front of his face to check for signs of life in her partner. "Soul!" She raised her voice and shook him vigorously.

"What the hell, Maka?" Soul snarled. "What is it?" His knee stopped bouncing and the butterflies dispersed. He knew better than this. Time to repress everything! Soul was not the best and healthily processing his emotions. It was a work in progress.

"I asked if you wanted me to bring you back something from Deathbuck's. I'm meeting Liz there to tutor her before the next exam."

"When did you say that?" He had no clue what she was talking about. He never had any clue what she was talking about, but he especially didn't know right now.

"Literally ten seconds ago." Her green eyes squinted. They looked the white haired boy up and down. He definitely had something on his mind, but was trying to hide it. "Is everything okay, Soul?"

She figured he would shrug and say something that he thought was cool, but actually was really, really lame. Something like, "The only thing wrong with me is that I'm too cool." Something dumb like that. Then he would change the subject and she would have to pry the answer out of him. Forcefully sometimes even. They fought all the time, but she wanted to make sure he knew that he could talk to her.

"Actually," Soul began, surprising both himself and the girl who now had placed a caring hand on his shoulder. "There is something that's been bugging me lately, but if you're busy it can wait."

Maka was dumbfounded by his uncharacteristic behavior. She didn't think she would get this far to be completely honest and wasn't sure what to do, so she awkwardly sat down next to Soul. "No, no. It's fine! What's up?"

Did he really want to do this right now?

His knee started bouncing again. The butterflies had now morphed into vicious pterodactyls. His heartbeat was beating in his ears. God, he really didn't want to say what he was about to, but he would've done anything to make this weird, sick, foreign feeling go away.

He opened his mouth to speak. Just saying it made him feel like he was choking. The poor boy was clearly struggling.

"Hey, Soul. You can tell me anything, okay?" She squeezed his hand and a wave of comfort washed over him.

He nodded. It was now or never. This would make that feeling go away. That dreaded feeling. "IkissedBlackstaryesterdayandIthinkIminlove."

Silence.

Maka took out her phone and sent a text to Liz saying that should would most definitely be late.

The dreaded feeling of having a crush.

Black Star wasn't a romantic. At all. No part of that boy's body had any romance in it. It was a quality he lacked in addition to a few other social graces. It didn't bother him, mostly because he was unaware it was a trait he didn't have.

Everyone wants someone. Everyone wants to feel that warmth in their heart. Everyone wants to come home to someone every night and be able to be wrapped up in their lover's arms. Everyone except Black Star. As far as he was concerned, he only wanted to train and get stronger. Sometimes on an off day, he would slightly entertain the idea of a relationship. In his mind it was nice, but ultimately pointless.

Yes, that's what he felt. He felt love was pointless. Purposeless. It hindered his progression. But if he thought love was pointless, why did he keep thinking about that kiss?

He sighed. That was about as far as he had gotten in understanding his feelings. He didn't get it, but there was an exam tomorrow and he needed to study for it. Black Star wasn't the brightest candle in the church, but he tried his best and put his all into everything he did. One had to admire his passion.

"How's everything going?" Tsubaki entered the room, a cup of tea in hand. She noticed her meister's face was frozen in a place of confusion. "I can tell you're working hard." She let a soft smile grace her lips.

"Hey, Tsubaki." He snapped back into his usual, theatrical personality. After all, he was a star. "I don't really get this, but I know if I keep going, I'll get it!" He laughed his Black Star laugh.

"Of course you will!" She walked in and sat the tea at the corner of the worn down coffee table. "Keep up the hard work! I know you'll do great tomorrow." She turned on her heel to leave.

"Tsubaki," The blue haired meister started. "Have you ever been in love?"

Tsubaki paused. It wasn't unlike Black Star to ask questions randomly. In fact, she had grown accustomed to his unique brand of probing curiosity, but he had never been one to care about love. "No, why do you ask?"

"No reason. Just wondering. Sorry, that was probably weird." He rubbed the back of his neck. He wasn't really sure why he had even asked.

Tsubaki brushed back her black hair behind her ears. "You're fine. It wasn't weird." She paused, weighing exactly what she wanted to say. "Have you ever been in love, Black Star?"

Maybe it was all the stress from studying or maybe it was the change in the weather, but he didn't answer back immediately. What was this? He noticed Tsubaki staring at him with those soft eyes of hers. He had hesitated too long. Son of a bitch. Oh, God. He didn't even remember the question. Heat rose to his face. "I, what did you say?"

She knew. "I asked if you had ever been in love."

"No, of course not. What the hell kind of question is that anyway? The great and powerful Black Star has other things to be doing right now, but thank you for the tea."

She laughed a small, quiet laugh. "No problem! I won't bother you anymore, so get back to work." Tsubaki shut the door behind her, leaving Black Star alone to his thoughts, or rather a lack of them.

He was only thinking about one thing. "Damn it, Soul."

Author's Note: My friends were sad and the only way I could think to cheer them up was dumb fanfiction about the best couple in Soul Eater bye haters. Also, I wrote this at 3 am and it's short like the amount of time I have LOL. I'll post when I can!