A/N: Based on a prompt from the wonderful The Sacred and Profane, who asked "Okay, how about a prompt where Sarah proposes to Alison, only in order to get to that point she has to learn how to cook the type of fancy meals she knows Alison likes. So she asks for Alison's help. Cue things going wrong for Sarah and she blurts out the proposal, ruining her planned moment, running away leading Alison to track her down and reciprocate."
This is my first time writing an Alison/Sarah (Soccer Punk?) fic, so my apologies if their interactions aren't quite in character, or if the characters themselves are OOC. But it was requested, and so I wrote it! Despite the fact that it took ages... sorry again, The Sacred And Profane! I love your prompts, I really do. And I did have lots of fun with this one. On that note, enjoy!
Title taken from lyrics from the song "Learn to Breathe" by Thousand Foot Krutch.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Orphan Black universe and especially not their characters which is evident in the fact that I probably have written them all wrong here, but oh well.
When Sarah first met Alison, she wasn't Sarah. She was Beth, the dead cop's life she stole so she get away from her abusive ex boyfriend. She had gone for a drive in Beth's fancy car and just found herself at the Scarborough address that just happened to be the address of one Alison Hendrix. Figuring that Alison would probably have some answers, she had gotten out of the car and knocked on the front door.
A woman in an overwhelmingly pink outfit with her hair in bangs and tied back opened the door. Sarah had just opened her mouth, but the woman beat her to it. "Beth! What are you doing?" her voice was a mixture of happy surprise and annoyance, "You're supposed to come around back! Thank god Donnie's out with the kids right now. Come in and shut the door. Quickly!"
Sarah quickly did as she was bid, stunned by the force behind this woman's, Alison's, words. She shut the door and stepped in and was again about to explain the misunderstanding, but Alison yet again interrupted. "Lock it," she said with a smile, her annoyance all but evaporated as she looked at Sarah, the woman whom she thought was Beth.
Still completely nonplussed, Sarah turned and locked the door with a satisfying clunk of the deadbolt. She was about to turn back around when she felt arms around her waist, a chin on her shoulder. Uneasy with the unfamiliar touch, Sarah couldn't stop herself from tensing up.
"What's wrong, Beth?" the woman, Alison, asked quietly, her voice sending a not too unpleasant shiver down Sarah's spine. "Rough day on the force?"
Everything in Sarah screamed at her to push this woman back, to explain to her that she wasn't Beth. But something about the way that Alison held her with such delicacy and obvious care made her pause. Sarah hadn't been held in that way for such a long time, despite the fact that this woman didn't think she was actually holding Sarah. But, still, there was something familiar about it. Something that Sarah didn't want to let go of just yet.
So she pretended to be Beth. Though, how just how many of her actions and words and feelings were pretend... well, Sarah couldn't say for sure just then. "They benched me Alison," she murmured as she tilted her head back onto Alison's shoulder.
This time is was Alison's turn to flinch, to tense up. "Is this because of the civilian shooting?" she asked quietly, her voice full of pain.
"Yes," Sarah replied back, allowing her body to lean back into the comfort that this woman gave. This woman that she didn't even know, but apparently that Beth had known very well. In very intimate ways.
"It's alright Beth," Alison whispered in her ear, her lips kissing the soft skin behind Beth's ear. "I'm here for you, you know that. You've always known that."
"Yeah," Sarah agreed softly, her mind yelling at her to get out, to explain right then and there that she wasn't who Alison thought she was before something worse happened. Something that she would not want to have to deal with later. But her body was responding to the love and care that Alison gave out freely, directing her to turn around, to face her and pull her into her arms. This is all wrong, she thought, even as her forehead met Alison's easily. Shut up, her body yelled back at her.
"Let me take care of you," Alison murmured and took one last look into the eyes of who she thought was Beth before letting them drift shut as she brought her lips closer.
They had barely made contact when Sarah's mind finally got the better of her body and made her jerk backwards, eyes wide and breath frantic as she shook her head wildly. "No, I... can't-" Sarah began, trying her best to formulate an explanation past her pounding heart.
"Beth, what-?" Alison exclaimed in shock, staring at the person she thought was her lover.
"I'm not Beth," Sarah exclaimed frantically, backpedaling frantically, stepping towards the door even as Alison took a few steps towards Sarah, out of confusion more than anything. "Gotta go," she said, then she walked out of the house, slamming the door behind her.
She practically ran to her car and drove away, catching a glimpse of the stunned woman in the window as she drove away. Alison, Beth's lover. She tried to tell herself, as she turned the corner and Alison's house disappeared from her line of sight, that what had just happened was just a result of taking over Beth's life. When she took over her life, she gained Beth's job, her apartment and her boyfriend. And, apparently, Beth's secret affair.
She shook her head fiercely for a moment, trying to clear her head as she drove back to her, no, Beth's, apartment. As she drove, she tried to convince herself that she, as Sarah, did not feel anything for Beth's lover, Alison. She swallowed hard as she parked and got out of the car, not entirely convinced that she believed herself.
"Do you remember how we met?" Sarah asked Alison casually as she stood beside her washing dishes. A normally boring task that she would not have been able to stand, had she not been standing beside Alison.
"Do you mean when I met you, Sarah Manning and not you as... Beth," Alison asked primly, though both her voice and the towel she was using to dry the dishes stalled on Beth's name as her eyes glanced carefully around the flat.
"Me as... as Beth," Sarah nodded, her cheeks heating up at the memory.
"In answer to your question, Sarah," Alison continued, forcing Sarah to shake her head to rid herself of the memories, "Yes I do remember that day. Why?"
"I... uh," Sarah stuttered, suddenly unsure of why she brought the topic up in the first place. Maybe because that specific memory never actually left her mind, no matter what she was doing. And here, with Alison beside her, the memory and the feelings that came with it, had stayed lodged in her head, forcing her to say something before she went crazy. So she tried to back out while she could. "Uhm, never mind," she mumbled and returned to scrubbing fiercely at a particularly stubborn piece of food that was caked onto one of the serving dishes.
"Let me," Alison spoke quickly, placing her drying towel over Sarah's shoulder and nudging her out of the way with gentle taps of her hands on her other shoulder. "You need to use baking soda for tough spots like this."
"Oh," Sarah replied, standing there with soapy hands hanging uselessly at her sides as she watched Alison took over and efficiently began washing the rest of the dishes.
"Are you going to help?" Alison asked her, looking over at her lookalike who stood silently by, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.
"Right, yeah," Sarah cleared her throat and reached into the warm rinse water and pulled out a delicate china dish, nodding dutifully when her paranoid sister warned her sharply to be careful.
Conversation lulled after that which, while it drove Sarah crazy, didn't seem to bother Alison, as she was single-mindedly focused on each dish that came under her scrub brush. Sarah, on the other hand, was single-mindedly focused on Alison standing next to her.
Despite there only being a few dishes left for Alison to wash and a mountain of dishes for Sarah to dry because of her lack of focus, Sarah still found herself desperately wanting to just talk to Alison. So she took a breath and opened her mouth, all the while intently drying the same dish over and over again. "So, uh, Alison?" she began and inwardly smacked herself. Way to sound like an idiot.
"Yes, Sarah?" Alison replied, ever so proper and polite and everything that Sarah sure as hell wasn't. But opposites attract, don't they? Apparently, given the way Sarah now fought to control her blush at the sound of her name from the soccer mom's lips.
"Cooking?" Sarah blurted, nearly dropping her dish as Alison shot her a confused look while she reached into the dirty sink water with her sleeves rolled up to her elbows as she pulled the stopper.
"Pardon?" Alison asked, brushing past Sarah to pull out another drying towel. Then she returned to her position by the sink, next to the pile of clean dishes and began to dry as well. They stood side by side as they worked, causing Sarah to be even less focused than she had been before. Bloody woman, Sarah thought, annoyed yet pleased all at once, Does she have to stand so bloody close?!
Before she could let herself get too distracted, Sarah cleared her throat and focused on another dish. It seemed to be the only way she could make intelligible conversation with her. "Where'd you learn to cook all this stuff?"
"Stuff?" Alison asked her, sounding, to the untrained ear, to be dispassionate. But Sarah knew what to listen for and blushed because of it; Alison was teasing her. Maybe even flirting. Don't get ahead of yourself Sarah, she warned herself.
"The fancy meals, you know," Sarah replied, carefully stacking the dried dish beside her and reaching into the slowly cooling rinse water for handful of cutlery.
"Maybe I'll teach you to cook a dish or two someday," Alison said and, though she was not looking, Sarah could tell just by her tone that she was smiling. "One mother to another. I wouldn't want Kira eating mac and cheese for her entire childhood."
Sarah winced a bit inwardly. She kind of already has been. "I'd love that," Sarah agreed instead, nodding her head, her response entirely too enthusiastic.
But if Alison noticed, she didn't pay any mind. In fact, the overly zealous response seemed to elicit a less reserved response than normal from the uptight soccer mom. "Wonderful," she turned and almost brought Sarah to her knees with a full blast of her smile, "How about you come around on Friday evening? I'll have the kids stay over at Aynsley's so we can have the house to ourselves."
Keep it together Sarah, she had to warn herself again, Even though that comment could have been mistaken for something sexual she didn't actually mean it to- "Wait," she spoke suddenly, cutting her thoughts off before they distracted her completely to the point where she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight without first dealing with some of the frustration. "The house to ourselves? What about Donnie?"
"Business trip or something," Alison said lightly, stacking the last of the dishes, having dried the rest of them while Sarah tried to reign in her wayward thoughts, "Would you rather us not be alone?" she asked with a raised eyebrow before brushing past Sarah, again but closer this time, with her arms loaded with different dinnerware.
"No! Uh, no," Sarah spoke up, again, probably too quickly. Alison definitely noticed this time too, that much Sarah was sure of, based off of the smirk that cornered Alison's lips mischievously. Bloody hell, Sarah thought, dry swallowing, Sleep wont come easy tonight. "We need all that space to cook, right?"
"Indeed," Alison murmured, considering something for a moment, regarding Sarah with an odd look. Was she trying to see Beth in her eyes? Was that why she was acting more freely around Sarah than normal yet regarding her with such sorrow? Because she wasn't Beth and Alison wanted her to be? Or because she saw Beth where she only wanted to see Sarah?
"So," Alison said, snapping back into her normal, abrupt self, startling Sarah. "I will make a list of the things I want you to bring with you when you come over."
"Bring?" Sarah asked, slightly dumbfounded.
"Yes, well, I'm running low on some herbs and spices and I don't have time to go and get them myself in the next two days, so," she explained quickly, putting away the last of the dishes and turning to Sarah, who hadn't moved since Alison had all but entirely planned their Friday cooking date. Session, Sarah told herself fiercely, Cooking session. It's not a date.
"Yeah, sure," she agreed, even though she didn't know the first thing about any of those fancy herbs or bloody spices. "Sounds great. What do you need me to get?"
"Here," Alison said, handing Sarah a sheet of paper and a pink pen. Typical Alison, Sarah thought with an inward smirk, Typical, adorable, cute Alison. "Are you listening Sarah? I just listed off the first two ingredients."
"Right, right," she started, fighting the blush that she felt crawling up her neck. Hoping that Alison hadn't noticed the way her ears had gone red, she bent over the paper and poised her pen to write. "So?"
"Basil, sage," Alison promptly listed off, watching the way that Sarah hastily scribbled down the ingredients, checking that she wrote down exactly what she said. Sarah nodded, indicating that Alison continue. "Thyme," she said.
Sarah bit her bottom lip for a second. Why the bloody hell do these spices have to have such weird names? She gave a tiny shrug with her shoulder and wrote it down, "Next?"
But Alison didn't list the next ingredient off. When her answer was not immediately forthcoming, Sarah glanced up and saw that Alison was shaking her head, a look of disapproval mixed with amusement written across her features. "What?" Sarah asked, nonplussed. "What'd I do wrong?"
"I said 'thyme' Sarah!" Alison exclaimed, but there was more laughter in her voice than annoyance.
"Yeah? And that's what I wrote isn't it?"
She crossed over from her place opposite the counter and stood beside Sarah, gently taking the pen from her hand, their fingers accidentally touching. Sarah jerked her hand back as if she'd been shocked, causing Alison to look at her with that damned raised eyebrow again. She tried to shrug it off by casually stuffing her hand in her jacket pocket. Smooth, Sarah thought to herself, hoping that she wasn't blushing.
"You wrote down 'time', Sarah," Alison pointed out, crossing out Sarah's writing and replacing the word with her own neat penmanship.
"Yeah, 'cause that's what you said!" Sarah stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You said it, so I wrote it down!"
"Thyme," Alison emphasized as she wrote down the correct spelling of the herb she was looking for, "Is spelled like this. See?"
"Oh," Sarah rolled her eyes and leaned closer to Alison to look at what she was pointing out. Despite being so close to the other woman, Sarah actually managed to formulate a proper question."Well how would I have bloody known that?"
Alison offered her a sympathetic smile as she handed the pen back to her. "It's one of the more common herbs, Sarah. Ready for the next ingredient?"
"Well it's not like I've had many chances to actually look up how to cook proper meals, now have I?" Sarah put in, slightly annoyed at her lookalike. She didn't want to be, but Alison's simple question forced her to remember those ten months she spent on the run. She barely had had the time to eat a scrap meal, or something that was made in the microwave, let alone some fancy meal with all of the fancy herbs and spices that Alison was listing off.
Alison must have caught her bitter tone, because her face softened and she reached out to touch Sarah's arm softly, "I'm sorry," she murmured compassionately.
"Not your fault," Sarah replied roughly, looking down at her hands, which had clenched into fists, fighting back the memories. Fighting back the guilt she felt when she remembered her decision to abandon Kira without saying anything.
Alison's hand slipped down Sarah's arm to rest gently atop Sarah's tense fists, causing her to look up into Alison's eyes. "You don't need to feel guilty, Sarah," Alison told her, squeezing her hand comfortingly as she did. "You're here now aren't you? That's all that matters. You're trying to do better for your daughter. And you are, Sarah. You are."
Sarah blinked back tears at the sincerity in Alison's voice. She gripped Alison's hand, unaware that she had even released the tension in her hands in the first place, and placed her other over Alison's so that Alison's hand was now captured gently by hers. "You mean that?"
"Of course I do, Sarah," Alison answered just as quietly.
"Thank you," she whispered, letting go of Alison's hand so that she could pull the other woman into a heartfelt embrace. She tried to say everything with that touch; she tried to say that she really cared, that she really wanted to be there for her always, that she needed Alison to be there for her, Sarah, always. She tried to say wordlessly that she wanted the other woman in her life, that she needed her in her life. That Alison was on her mind day in and day out. And that she never wanted her to leave the special place that Sarah had carved in her heart for the other woman.
"You're welcome," Alison murmured as she pulled back slowly, that look coming back into her expression.
"Alison... what-?" Sarah began slowly, gaining confidence from their embrace to ask her what she was thinking.
But Alison just shook her head, the tiny gesture causing Sarah to stop immediately. Alison looked at her for a long while, her gaze unnerving but calming all at once. In the silence, Sarah fidgeted. Unable to stand it, she opened her mouth to ask again what was wrong when Alison spoke up suddenly. "You remind me so much of her," she murmured, "I wonder who I'm really in love with. And that's what scares me."
Sarah swallowed; she should have known that this would have been the case. She took over Beth's life, what did she expect? That she would instantly gain Alison's love the way that Alison had instantly gained hers? Then, "Wait, who you're in l-," Sarah began, finally processing what she said, taking in its implications when Alison stepped forward in a movement that was ascribed to her natural edgy grace and kissed Sarah.
Holy shite, Sarah was barely aware of thinking as she felt Alison cup her hands around her face gently, bringing them closer together even as Sarah stepped up to the woman, drawing her in with arms around her waist.
Alison pulled back way too soon for Sarah's liking, but the glint in her eyes told Sarah that Alison hadn't wanted it to end either. Noticing that, Sarah decided to try to reengage by stepping up to the soccer mom once again, only to be stopped by Alison's hands on her shoulders. "Oi," Sarah complained, to which Alison only responded with a light smile.
"I'll see you on Friday," she said, turning Sarah around and ushering her out the door. "Don't forget those ingredients!"
After kissing Kira on the forehead and saying that she would be coming back in a little while with a special treat, she headed out the door to Alison's suburban home. She spent the short drive thinking about the kiss, how Alison initiated it, how... wonderful it felt. How the fact that wonderful didn't even come close to describing it.
When she pulled up across from the house, she took a moment to breathe and relax. Even though she probably wouldn't be able to stay relaxed in Alison's presence. Sighing once again, she stepped out of the car and walked up to the door.
"Hey, Alison," Sarah said, stuffing her hands in her pockets, trying not to feel like a teenager on her first date.
"Sarah, good to see you," Alison nodded at her, sounding as proper as ever. But underneath her refined words, Sarah noticed an undertone of pleasure in her voice, made obvious by the way that Alison's lips quirked upwards as Sarah stepped past her into the house. "Did you get everything that I asked you to get?"
Sarah hefted the grocery bag with the purchased ingredients and nodded. "I don't get why they have to be so stupidly named, but, yeah, I got 'em."
"Bring them over here," Alison instructed, leading Sarah into the kitchen once more, indicating that she set the bag down on the counter.
To keep herself from falling back into the memory of their kiss two days earlier, Sarah cleared her throat and asked, "So what are we making?"
Alison burst into a genuine smile at her question, obviously passionate about her culinary prowess. Instead of taking in the probably important instructions that Alison was currently giving, Sarah took in the other woman. Somehow, inside this kitchen, away from the business of the life that she had structured for herself, she seemed more... free. She smiled more easily, her movements were less constrained. Outside this place, she was uptight and bitchy. But here, in this room with no one around but Sarah, she was free and more fluid. And she was nothing short of gorgeous.
"Did you get all that Sarah?" Alison's question caught her unawares, forcing her to focus.
"Uh, yeah, sure," she nodded dutifully when Alison narrowed her eyes at her like she knew that Sarah hadn't even been paying the slightest attention.
But instead of repeating the instructions, Alison smiled dangerously like she knew she was putting Sarah into a corner and said, "Well, get started then."
"Uh, yeah, right," Sarah nodded in false confidence, pulling the herbs and spices that she had bought out of the bag so that it appeared that she knew what she was doing. She untied one of the plastic bags and grabbed a handful of, was that sage?, and started cutting, fighting the blush that crawled up her neck.
Suddenly, Sarah felt something against her back. Before she could whip around, slim, comforting arms slipped around her waist. "You didn't hear a word I said, did you, Sarah?" Alison asked, her voice taunting in the way that made Sarah hot all over.
Setting down the knife, she put both palms flat on the counter on either of the cutting board so that she could keep herself from shaking. Why did Alison have that affect on her? "No," Sarah admitted, wincing inwardly. She didn't like being caught. "I wasn't."
"Mm, obviously," Alison said, her hands pressed firmly against Sarah's hip bones. Unable to control her blush now, Sarah felt heat inflame her cheeks and her ears, lighting up her expression with a rather telling red. They hadn't been this close since Sarah was pretending to be Beth without Alison's knowledge. "Would you like me to repeat the instructions?"
There was something in Sarah's voice that made her gulp and her skin crawl. She wasn't sure if she liked it, because, god, it was all types of wrong, being basically attracted to yourself. But there was something so right and something that felt so absolutely wonderful about the way she was so easily able to melt back into Alison's surprisingly strong arms.
Finally, Sarah was able to get her voice back after a couple more hummed promptings on Alison's part. "Yeah, that'd be good, Alison. Thanks," she nodded, still in Alison's arms, the slight head movement making her realize just how close they were, as her hair brushed against Alison's cheek
With a slightly disarming motion, Alison's hands left her waist and pushed against her left shoulder, leading Sarah to turn around and face her, their proximity to each other suddenly very obvious.
With their lips inches apart, don't think about that kiss Sarah, you're not here to get distracted again, Alison smiled, her hands clasping together near her throat, the fingers of her left hand playing with the cross around her neck. It was then that Sarah realized that Alison wasn't wearing her wedding band. Wha-?
"If you were paying attention, Sarah," she began, pulling her attention away from Alison's empty ring finger, "I had made mention to the fact that we do have the house to ourselves. For a couple hours, it would seem."
Holy shite. Why does she have to do that?! "Yeah, that's great Alison," Sarah said automatically, fighting the urge to forgo all pretenses about her feelings towards this woman and make it painfully obvious with some choice actions.
"So why don't we.. experiment a little bit in the kitchen?" Alison asked, her voice as low as Sarah had ever heard it. And it didn't sit right with her at all.
"Marriage!" she blurted, out of shock more than anything. What the hell?! She asked herself as Alison stepped back at the seemingly out of nowhere proclamation. But to say that Sarah hadn't been thinking about it for awhile now would be a lie; she couldn't stand the thought of Alison being with someone like Donnie, someone who didn't know how lucky they were.
"Excuse me?"
"I meant.. we need to proper herbs and stuff, so, would you like to marry me?" Sarah stammered, smacking herself inwardly. She had just meant to ask if Alison would please pass her some spice or herb or something so they could start cooking for chrissake!
Alison took a step back, confusion written across her features. "Would I like... pardon me?"
"Sage!" Sarah yelled, emotions driving her vocal chords up an octave and her volume up a notch or two. Shit, shit shit! Sarah panicked, That did.. this is not... With her thoughts all over the place, she tried to salvage the situation as Alison stood before her, jaw hanging open, hands dangling by her sides. "Look," Sarah continued, "I just meant that we're, uh.. we're out of marriage! I, shite, I meant, bloody... uh, sage!" she exclaimed, because it was the only herb that her mind could come up with under the emotional pressure. "We're out of sage. I'll be right back."
"Sarah?" Alison asked, nonplussed.
"Just wait here!" she called over her shoulder, heading for the door, leaving Alison still standing in the same place as she slammed the door shut and revved the engine of her car.
"What the hell were you thinking Manning?" Sarah growled at herself as she drove away from Alison's neighbourhood. She didn't know where she was going, a jewelry shop maybe?, she just knew that she had to get out of there to clear her head for awhile. And give Alison the time to cool down so that her rejection wouldn't be a bloody screaming match. "Asking her to marry you? You don't even have a ring! You bloody idiot!" she snapped, driving aimlessly, ripping through stop signs and taking the turns at horrible speeds.
As she drove, she couldn't help but reflect on the encounter. How Alison hadn't slapped her outright and told her in an angry voice that she was already married to Donnie. But then again... she wasn't wearing her ring today, Sarah mused as she finally pulled to a stop in a random parking lot. She could've just forgot to put it on this morning, she reasoned. "Who does that though?" she wondered aloud as she drummed her fingers on her steering wheel after her haphazard parking job. Someone who doesn't really love the person they're married to, her heart explained softly.
"What, and she loves me instead, right?" Sarah scoffed at herself, looking in the rearview mirror at her conflicted expression, one that displayed her disbelief that anyone could love her that much, to leave their spouse to be with someone as messed up as her. But then again... Alison was the one person who believed that Sarah wasn't a mess. Did she believe that enough to come find me? Sarah asked herself, taking in a shaky breath to steady her emotions, Did she really think that I'm worthy of her love?
Suddenly, there was a tap at her window, causing her to jump. Looking over, could it be?, she say an official looking uniform. Heart falling, she rolled down her window. "Yes, officer?" Probably going to tell me to fix my shite parking job.
"There's a woman looking for you at the mall entrance," the man said as he leaned down to talk to her.
Alison... "Yeah? And how'd you know that it was me she was looking for?" Sarah asked suspiciously. Old habits die hard.
"She described your car, miss," the officer said, gesturing to her vehicle, "And you're like her twin, so, I figured."
"Right," Sarah nodded, pulse spiking as she thought about what Alison would say to her after her rash and out-of-the-blue proposal. "I'll find her," she said, getting out of the car, pushing the officer back with her door. Thankfully, the man just nodded and went back to his original station, leaving Sarah to find Alison on her own. And have a few moments to herself to panic before actually collecting herself. "You got this Sarah. Just walk in there and apologize and hope that your friendship will survive."
As she walked, she planned out what she was going to say and prayed that it would be a good enough explanation in Alison's eyes. She crossed the parking lot and pushed open the main door to the mall, almost immediately spotting Alison standing at the information center, looking as proper and prim as ever. Swallowing another nervously gulp, she walked up to her "twin".
"Alison," Sarah called, gaining here attention. She was so busy nervously rehearsing her explanation in her head that she didn't even notice the way that Alison's expression brightened upon seeing her, that the worry lines that creased her forehead disappeared as a smile lit up her expression. "I didn't mean any-" she began, but was stopped abruptly when Alison threw herself into Sarah's arms.
"I didn't know you were thinking about it too," Alison murmured against her hair, her arms tightening around Sarah's frame.
Sarah froze for a moment, instincts kicking in about being caught, screaming for her to get out. She did not like being caught. Alison seemed to sense this and began to step back from the hug, but before she could pull back completely, Sarah shook herself and wrapped her arms around her quickly.
"It's okay, Alison," she murmured, "I wasn't thinking at all and it just happened to- wait. What do you mean?" she asked, stepping back in confusion, looking into Alison's eyes.
"Well, I-" she began, but Sarah cut her off as she began to piece together her words.
"You were... you actually want..?"
"Donnie," Alison began, shaking her head gently.
"Doesn't deserve you," Sarah stated firmly and Alison smiled gently, her eyes lighting up with the same freedom that Sarah had seen on her face when they were in the kitchen together, before their first kiss. "But-"
"But you know what, Sarah?" she asked her, overriding her confusion, touching her face gently, completely uncaring of the fact that they were very much in the open, in a very public, crowded place. She must really love me, Sarah thought, To be exposing herself like this.
"What?"
"I can think of one person who really does deserve me."
"Me," Sarah pointed out slowly, her uncertainty and reservations obvious in the quiet and shaky tone of her response as if a part of herself couldn't believe that Alison would ever be able to love someone as messed up as her.
"You," Alison nodded, completely shattering any previous doubt that was squirming around in Sarah's gut. And as she said this, she stepped forward once again and caught Sarah's face in her gentle hands and pulled Sarah towards her without any reservations.
And as they kissed there, in the middle of the mall where there was sure to be one too many curious onlookers, Sarah reflected on her instincts from her days spent doing shady deals and struggling to survive on the streets. That's when Sarah suddenly realized that maybe, perhaps, being caught wasn't so bad after all.