I don't own Teen Titans.

This is a story starting after 'AfterShock'. This story will be following the show, making slight changes to the episodes and developing a relationship with BeastBoy and Raven. Hopefully, you like it. Please enjoy.

It all started after Terra. Before then I had tried to stay away from him, mostly. He was nothing more than a fellow team member and a constant annoyance. He was the one who would bang on my door when I was trying to read to invite me to play games or hang out. He would tell lame jokes and didn't seem to know when to stop talking. Sometimes I found it flattering, that he tried so hard to include me but mostly it just annoyed me.

When Terra left though... it was hard on him. And after the battle with slade... well he seemed like he changed for a while. He tried to act like it was all okay and push through it but his smiles never met his eyes and he didn't come knocking as much anymore. Maybe before I would have welcomed the silence, and I would have counted this a blessing. But I couldn't bring myself to be happy about losing a titan, even an ex-titan. I may have not liked her, but my friends thought of her as a friend and he thought of her as something more, that much was clear. I hated the hurt that losing her caused them and I hated that in our line of work, we didn't have the luxury to grieve her.

We had to jump right back into the fight, and it was time to go after The Hive. We all stood in front of the monitor while Robin explained that we couldn't just blast our way in.

"We need to know what they are planning first, otherwise we could walk right into a trap." He said.

I watched BeastBoys ears perk up and an almost evil smile spread across his face. "Do I hear an under-cover assignment coming on? Lucky for you guys, I happen to be a master of disguise." And the green man disappeared and in his place was a small green monkey, then a kangaroo and finally a mongoose. I was seeing a bit of the playful BeastBoy I had come to miss.

"Yeah, a green mongoose is gonna blend riiigggght in." I internally scolded myself for the sarcastic remark, but Robin breezed right past it.

"Sorry BeastBoy, I was thinking of someone with a slightly better disguise"

"What are you gonna do, dress Cyborg up like a washing machine?" He said, tapping his robotic best friend. Right before he toppled over. Beastboy let out a scream and shifted into a lizard, clinging to the ceiling, eyes bugged out. I smiled to myself, before quickly composing myself.

"That isn't me. That is my fully robotic replacement. Not nearly as charming but he can bench press a bus."

We gathered around the Cyborg replica all taking it in before Starfire knocked on its head and it flew off, bouncing from the body on a metal spring.

"Booyah!" It screamed out.

"He still has a few bugs to work out," Cy said sheepishly.

Cyborg went on to explain how he would go undercover using his newly made 'holo-ring' would disguise him as 'Victor Stone'. We watched as he showed us his transformation and before us stood Cyborg, without well... the robot. Things wrapped up pretty quickly after that, Robin stating that he needs to go over his mission with him and come up with a game plan, but I could feel a twinge of jealousy coming from the green titan who was now sitting and playing some racing game. Hesitantly I drifted over to the sofa, grabbing my book and throwing my hood up to hide my discomfort. Truth be told I felt more exposed out here. I knew these were my friends and I could trust them but they didn't understand who I was, what I am. I always held the fear that I wouldn't be able to control my emotions and I'd hurt one of them in the process. So for the most part, I tried to stay away from the other titans during our downtime, electing to hide away in the safety of my room meditating.

I stole glances at BeastBoy who was so engrossed in the game he hadn't realized I was there yet. If he had he would have made some annoying comment by now. The race ended and he raised his fist in the air and let out a happy cry of celebration. Before he noticed I was sitting by him and threw a gloved hand over his mouth. I knew he couldn't see my face so I didn't bother to cover the smile this time.

"I'm sorry Rae, I didn't think... Hey, why are you out here? Not that you can't be, cause like it's totally awesome that you are but you also like never are." His eyes were wide and I could feel his emotions swirling from confusion to happiness and something else that was so faint I couldn't quite place.

I didn't trust myself to keep my normal monotone so I lifted the book and lowered my hood, my face even and my eyebrow raised at him.

"Oh yeah. Duh. He-he." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "But since you're out here do you wanna hang out? I mean it doesn't have to be games or anything stupid like that, I know you don't like them but maybe something else? We could go get pizza or something or if there is something you want to do." I could sense he didn't really wanna be alone. I knew this though, which is why I had made the choice to join him out here. I didn't want him to know that I was doing this for him though. I knew he didn't want pity and he honestly didn't even want to admit there was something for him to be sad about, lest he let himself feel it and not be able to handle the stress of this job.

I let out a sigh, closing my book and rising up turning toward the door. I could feel his disappointment as he watched me go. I made it almost all the way to the door before turning.

"Well?" I asked him, making my voice sound bored.

"Huh?" His green eyes met mine and I saw a small flash of hope in them.

"Are we going for pizza or not? I'm starving." And before I could say anything else I was being dragged out of the room and out of the tower.