Black Canary on Night Shift by Batman100
Author's Note: This was inspired by a print from DeviantArt. Hope y'all enjoy it
It was a quiet Thursday evening at the Watchtower. Most of the occupants, meaning the Justice League were either battling evil, training, partying, or catching up on much-needed Z's. All except for one certain blonde heroine standing by the security console in the surveillance office, sipping a cup of coffee
"Ok… security drones activated, check, make sure creatures and alien plants are fed, check. Add insurance bills... Check. Oy, this is so boring. Next time, I should let Flash do the night shift." Black Canary moaned exhaustedly, straightening her elegant hair as she stared blankly at the monitor, keeping a watchful eye on the tower and its many, many superhuman residents.
Dinah then heard a loud alarm ringing on the console. "Hmm, must be an emergency.. I think" she winced as she pressed the scanner console button, only to see a message proclaiming 'Black Canary, could you please make sure my cowl and uniform are ironed for patrol tomorrow? Thanks. Xoxo, Batman PS- don't tell Diana I let you borrow my Pink CD.' "Well, isn't that nice, a simple reminder/love letter, oh golly gee" Dinah sarcastically muttered, before suddenly plopping her head on the desk and started to snore.
Five Minutes Later…
"Di? Dinah? Dinah, wake up!" Green Arrow hollered in the slumbering Canary's ear. Dinah was pretty much lost in the land of nod, softly snoring, and a small pint of drool forming off her lips. Oliver winced in disgust as Dinah sucked on her thumb in her sleep.
"Women. Gotta learn to live with them, gotta learn to keep them off the caffeine. Sheesh." Green Arrow muttered, heading out of the surveillance office in a huff.
Five *More* Minutes Later…
"Gee, it's awfully quiet. I wonder what's keeping Dinah up so late." Zatanna asked as the mistress of magic and her fellow Leaguers Batman, Huntress, Green Lantern Kyle Rayner, his wife Jade and Red Hood were playing backgammon at the lounge centre
"You have to ask, Zee? Last time I went in there, she made me listen to Lady Gaga for five straight hours! No wonder I've been begging for more hours on the streets!" Red Hood grumbled irately, swigging a cup of rum. Quick in a dash, Huntress snatched the rum from Red Hood and dumped it in the sink "HEY!"
"Now Jason… you know what Ray said yesterday: alcohol messes up your IBS." Huntress reminded as Martian Manhunter reacted in confusion
"IBS? What the heck does that mean?" Martian Manhunter asked. "Oh god…" Red Hood moaned, burying his head under his hands, knowing what was coming
"Um… it's really…" Huntress started, and then whispered it into Martian Manhunter's ear. Kyle tried to listen using his ring, only for Jade to keep his ring hand down on the table "Don't even think about it wiseguy." Jade teased. "Rats." Kyle snapped, drumming his fingers in boredom. "Ok, I'm gonna head over and see what Dinah's up to. Bruce, you coming along?" Huntress asked, glancing at the left half of the table, only to see a holographic version of Batman. "I knew it." Red Hood quipped. Jade then went for it and jabbed his injured knee "AAAHH"
"Now you know better than to mess with us ladies." Jade hissed, as Huntress gave her a wink before heading out, leaving Zatanna, Kyle, Martian Manhunter and Jade glaring at a particularly obnoxious Red Hood. "What are you looking at?"
Five Minutes Later… AGAIN
Dinah finally awakened from her beauty nap and checked the cameras for any unusual activity, but found nothing of interest as the Watchtower was oddly quiet as a catacomb.
"Well, I guess I can take a break." Dinah said to herself, stretching out her back and letting out a yawn, headed down the hallway to the café. Dinah could almost hear the sounds of… giggling?
"What was so funny?" Dinah curiously asked, scratching her head in puzzlement as another laugh echoed, only this one was a bit gruff… and *almost* sounded like that of a certain no-nonsense pointy eared member. "This I got to see." Dinah snickered as she glanced a look through the peephole in the wall.
Dinah couldn't help but snicker silently as she could see Diana Prince aka Wonder Woman on her bed, naked and humping Batman, who had the largest obnoxious grin on his face. Diana gasped excitedly as she felt like having an orgasm
Dinah then quickly ducked as if she saw Wonder Woman caught a glance of the Canary. Quick as a bunny, Dinah zoomed to the café, grabbed a large can of mocha latte, and headed back to the surveillance centre
"Whoa! What a rush. Heheh, this'll make good blackmail showing pics of Diana humping Bats. The expression on their faces will be PRICELESS!" Dinah giggled as she uploaded photos of the two… lovebirds on her iPhone. Then, without warning, who showed up but Huntress
"Oh! Uh… hi Helena, heh heh… you startled me… um, what's new?" Dinah chuckled nervously, placing her iPhone under her back pants pocket as Helena eyed her comrade strangely
"Dinah, what are you doing? Have you been sneaking on my dating site again? You know I can see if you've been on there." Helena groaned as Dinah started drinking her mocha latte
"Meh, the dating site's not that interesting nowadays. Want some?" Dinah offered, holding a bowl of chestnuts toward Helena
"Eh, what the heck. I finished my patrol shift early and I've got nothin' else to do." Helena shrugged, pulling up a chair to sit next to Dinah, taking a bite of a chestnut "Mm, these chestnuts are delicious."
"I'm glad you like it. I added some raisins and raw onions in them." Dinah grinned. At that minute, Helena's eyes widened, as she suddenly dove into a trash can and spat out the chestnuts "Yuck! Disgusting!" Helena wheezed, wiping off the crumbs from her chin
"Ah, isn't this great? You and me here, we have the whole place to ourselves. You know… now that we're a couple…" Dinah purred, taking off her corsets
"What are you…? Oh jeez, here we go." Helena muttered as Dinah sealed the door shut "Now why'd you have to do that? Cant I at least use the restroom before you start stripping naked?"
"There's one right here." Dinah giggled teasingly, directing Helena's gaze to a smelly, dilapidated outhouse right in the closet
"What?! You're nuts, I am not going in there!" Helena snapped, wincing in disgust of the outhouse's odious stench
"But you used to love outhouses!" Dinah responded "Since *when* did I ever develop liking those disgusting stink houses? There's no air, no AC and it's so stinky it's enough to make me puke." Helena grimaced
"Don't you at least remember attending that Rota Rooter convention with me last week?" Dinah asked nostalgically. "All *I* remember was me trying to get out of there. That place has no sense of cleanliness whatsoever!" Helena retorted
"Aw come on Helena, you'll like it. It's one hundred percent bug proof." Dinah assured, trying to trick Huntress into doing it. But she wasn't fooled easy
"Really? Gee, now that you mention it…" Huntress muttered, opening the door before doing a double take "Wait a minute! How big an idiot do you think I am?!"
"Nuts." Dinah groaned, snapping her fingers as Helena chuckled, ruffling Dinah's hair. "Nice try, Canary, but you can't pull the wool over my eyes that easy. Now what was that you were saying earlier?"
"A-HA! Found you!" Batman cackled crazily, bursting into the surveillance room, wearing only his suit… but not his pants. "Ok now, which one of you two crazy magpies were snooping on me and Diana?"
"Dinah…" Helena snarled, as the Canary gulped as Batman was about to reach for her neck. Dinah chattered her teeth, waiting for the inevitable…
"Dinah? Uh… what are you doing?" Batman asked as Dinah was huddled on the couch in a fetal position. She slowly composed herself "Huh?"
"Listen, its fine. I almost mistook you for Cassie. Which reminds me… does these make my calves look fat?" Batman asked, revealing Cassie's Wonder Girl spandex pants. There was a brief pause… then Dinah and Helena suddenly cackled hysterically, rolling on the floor in bouts of mirth
"Hahahahah! That is soooo you, Batsy! Hahahahaha!" Helena giggled, bursting into laughing spasms as Dinah tried hard to keep a straight face.
"I really hate that nickname." Batman replied sternly as the two females continued giggling over the Dark Knight's sudden new legwear. Suddenly, Wonder Woman herself entered
"What the heck's going on? I heard a bunch of laughing and… Bruce… *why* are you wearing Cassie's pants?" Diana asked, a teasing grin creeping on her face. Batman loudly groaned exasperatedly and muttered "Ok, ok, you got me: Cassie somehow took my pants and placed hers on me." Diana swallowed this briefly, a large strained look on her face as she tried not to laugh at her teammate's expense.
"Well, that's a relief." Batman sighed, sitting down on the sofa when a loud farting noise echoed throughout the Watchtower
"What the… A WHOOPEE CUSHION?" Batman snarled surprisingly as Dinah, Diana and Helena were hooting hysterically, all three giggling at the success of their planned prank
"Hehehehe SUCKERRR!" Dinah teased obnoxiously, cackling as the Dark Detective rubbed his sore forehead. "Women." Batman muttered to himself, exiting as the three female Leaguers were now fast asleep.
"Hey Bats, whats up? I was just about to… uh whats with the new pants?" Booster Gold sheepishly asked as the Dark Knight stared at him gruffly
"Don't ask." Batman grumbled, heading for the elevator, not noticing the KICK ME sign Booster Gold placed on his pants bottom. "God, I love doing that. What a sucker!" Booster Gold chuckled, only for his face to turn white as the Dark Detective suddenly chased after him, Booster Gold cackling like a maniac
I do not own Justice League.