Finding Home

Light poured into the room as Aang opened the curtains. It was a beautiful morning, and he was ready for the day. He let out a long sigh as he turned to look over at Katara, who was still bundled up in the blankets. This had become routine for him.

Over time, their roles had switched. She used to be the one who was always up first, always up and ready to take on the day. Katara had been the one to wake him with the smell of breakfast, or soft kisses on the nose. She had the been the who had always dressed first, the one who had the day planned. Now, it was him.

In these days, Aang would be the one to set the pace, or he would at least try to. It was a hard transition for him at first, then he was late to one too many meetings. He soon gained the habit of getting himself up early. He would try to wake her, too. At first, it was easy, but as time went on it got harder and harder.

Aang ran his fingertips over her cheek, moving stray strands of dark brown hair from her face. He let out a small, sad huff before he leaned down and placed a small kiss on her lips. He kept still just long enough to get her to stir. Katara furrowed her brows together and huddled the blankets closer to her. She let out a low groan, letting him know of her unwillingness to get up. It was too early, she felt. The blankets were still so warm, and the room was will so cold from the night. Why couldn't he just let her sleep a little longer?

"Come on, Katara," He droned out, for what felt to be the thousandth time. "It's time to get up." This had become the norm, her refusing to get out of bed. Now, she would refuse to go anywhere. She would refuse to leave the house, sometimes she wouldn't even come out of the room. He wasn't even sure if she would leave the bed. For what seemed like days at a time, she would be behind the bedroom door, alone. It hurt his heart, seeing her like this. "We have a meeting with the village leaders."

"No," she whined, dragging the word out as she still refused to even open her eyes.

"We have to get ready." He pestered.

"I don't want to go, Aang." She mumbled into the blankets.

"What?"

"I don't want to."

"Katara, they're expecting us both." Aang pulled the covers away from her chin, exposing her full scowl.

Katara glared up at him and snatched the blankets back up to her neck. "I don't want to go, Aang!" She huffed, and this time she pulled the blankets up to cover her face both from him and the sunlight.

Aang sighed and his shoulders dropped as he hung his head in defeat. "Alright." He let out, just above a whisper.

Katara had started doing this about two years ago now, and it had just gotten worse and worse over time.

In the beginning, she would just take a little longer than usual. They would stay in bed a bit too long, but they just had to rush to get back on track for the day. Then, she would lay in bed for hours after him, to the point that she would merely get dressed and fix her hair for the day. Finally, she stopped getting out of the bed at all and stopped going places with him entirely.

Katara used to be so full of life and joy. Her eyes were bright and her smile was big. There wasn't a day that she didn't laugh. She used to jump at the chance to go out somewhere new, try something different. She would pick flowers on their walks together and put them in her hair as she hummed an old song. She would spend hours training. There was a time when she had a certain energy about her, a certain kind of light that couldn't easily be snuffed out. A happiness that radiated off of her and spread to those around her.

At first, she was involved with Aang and the things he was doing around the world since the war had ended. She had loved going from village to village with him.

Together, they got to announce that the war was over and that people no longer had to live in fear. She would heal the wounded and help rebuild homes with him. They would help people start farms, businesses, charities, sometimes even families.

There was a time when she would wake up at the break of dawn to start her day. She would make them both a light breakfast for the day. Then, she readied her water skins, gathered a pack of herbs, and made her way out to the local infirmaries. She would heal everyone she could. From broken bones, infections, even simple scratches. She would overlook no one, say no to no one, give up on nothing. The old men on their deathbeds. The newborns, who's first breath may have also been their last if it weren't for her.

Aang remembers how she would go and go, almost endlessly. Sometimes he would look at her over his shoulder, seeing the beads of sweat roll off her forehead. He would sometimes see her shake with exhaustion. Aang would place a hand on her shoulder, and try to persuade her into taking a day off, or at least a break. She would always shake her head and look back over to the makeshift hospitals. 'There's still more,' she would say, before making her way back to work.

He had also noticed that the little romance they had, faded over time. They had gone from holding hands almost every second of every day to hardly even looking at each other. There was a time when they would eat dinner together every night. Now, sometimes they didn't even sleep in the same bed.

He remembers how close she would to stand to him, the way she would run to him after he returned from the meeting. She would always bring him his favorite fruits after a long day. She would sometimes rub his shoulders while she sat next to him on the couch. Now they would leave at different times, if she even left, and get back at different times. All without even saying a goodbye, a hello, or even an I love you. He can't remember the last time he's heard those words from her.

He shakes his head. It has been eight years since the war ended, and he thought that by this time, they would be at least married. But now, as he ate alone for the fourth time in a row this week, he wasn't sure if they would even say they were still a couple. There was a time when he would stop by the local jewelers in search of the perfect stone. He would stalk the fabric kiosks looking for the right ribbon. Now he goes straight to work, and straight back to the house.

The house he would love to call home, with her and their imagined babies. He would love to come home to her and a little one after endless meetings. Aang had once imagined a place with baby toys strewn across the floors, dishes in the sink, food on the table. He had once imagined a large field in the back, with plenty of space for both Appa and Momo, and of course the kids to run. This is what he had imagined, wanted, expected. A home, with her.

These days, she would lay in bed all day. The curtains would be kept closed as she hid from the world. Some days she hardly spoke, only a mere sigh escaping her lips every now and then. Other days she wouldn't eat. She would read the same book over and over again. Aang would sometimes wonder if she even flipped the page. Now, there was a certain feeling in the air around her. Something dark and thick. Aang tried to avoid it, and in doing so, he would avoid her. He tried not to, though. He tried to show her that he noticed these things and that he cared.

Aang wipes his mouth and gets up from the table. He makes his way back into the bedroom for his final attempt to get Katara out of the bed.

"Katara, we really have to go, now." He says as sternly as his sad voice will allow him.

She slides the covers down just enough to show her dull eyes. "I already told you,"

"Katara, please!"

"I don't want to sit in a stuffy room with a bunch of old men, making a bunch of dumb rules, Aang!" Katara snaps at him, flopping onto her side and pulling the covers back up to hide her face.

Aang huffs and makes his way over to her side. "I want you with me."

"I don't. Want. To go." She had her eyes shut and her nose wrinkled.

Aang winces and shakes his head, his heart hurting. He leans over her and places a hand on either side of her head. "What has made you so depressed, Katara?" He waits and watches as she stays still, ignoring his question. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Leave me alone." She whines into the blankets as she curls up tighter.

"Katara, please!"

"No, Aang!"

"Why!?"

"Because!" She shouts, and snatches the blankets down as she faces him. "I don't want to deal with all this stupid legal crap! That's all you do anymore, Aang! You just set up laws and tax people. You only permit this or that. You tell people to build that there, ship this here. You know what, Aang? I don't care about that stuff!" She sits up, forcing him to stand upright. "I want to help people again!"

"We do help people." He insists.

Katara shakes her head and crosses her arms over her chest. "No, not like how we used to."

She thinks back to the way people would rejoice at the news that the Avatar and she were coming to their village. Even the poorest, saddest, most broken down villages would throw a party in their honor. She remembers how men, women, and children alike would cry in joy and relief. People she had never met before, never even seen before, would run to her and hug her like they had known for her years.

She remembers coming across countless rundown shacks that people had been calling home. She and Aang would add new lumber to it. They would add a new coat of paint, a new fence. Men would add a new room to their home, women would want help perfecting a nursery. Katara would always try to give a child a new toy or two. To help bring life, and fill a once hallow home with love.

She had even found a couple of stray water benders along the way. Some of them that had claimed to have family that descended from the Swamp Tribe. Some others would even claim to have blood from the Southern or Northern Tribes. These people were few and far between. But, every time she met another water bender, she would take the time to train that person as much as she could. At least until it was time to head off to next village.

This is what she wanted again. This is what she longed for, this is what she had once lived for. Seeing those men thank them for sending their sons and daughters home. Seeing the mothers hold their soldiers that had finally come home. Seeing the children cling tight to the legs of their parents, who wore military uniforms.

Katara loved helping rebuild those villages, those homes, and those families. She knew that together, she and Aang had made a tremendous difference in the Earth Kingdom. She also knew, though, that were still many other places that needed help. Other countries, that needed help like that. She felt as though they had been neglecting the other nations from the start.

"The world has changed, Katara. It's gotten better!" Aang argued as he extended an arm out, motioning towards the world outside their window.

Aang was right, the world outside their window had changed. But it was the world outside their window, the Earth Kingdom. Not the world outside of a little Water Tribe girls window, or a little Fire Nation boy.

From the start, Aang had tunnel vision on the Earth Kingdom. He was bent on exhuming any and all trace of the Fire Nation from it, which caused a lot of trouble. He hadn't realized, and had a hard time understanding, that some of the people had made their home there. The cultures had begun to mix.

Early on, he had given people of the Fire Nation, or of Fire Nation descent, a reason to look at him the wrong way. Aang had tried to send them away from their own home. Even Zuko questioned him when he found out what he was doing. This put a rift between their relationship, and Aang began to avoid Fire Nation villages.

Aang ignored Fire Nation camps, villages, forts, towns. He ignored the commoners, the commanders, and even the Fire Lord himself. He focused on the Earth Kingdom and the Earth Kingdom alone.

Countless Earth Kingdom towns had been burned to the ground, pillaged, and abandoned. Now the war was over, and Aang helped each town he came across. With every resource he had, the southern coast of the Earth Kingdom flourished. Within the first three years, a dramatic change could be seen. Trading ports had been made, factories and farms alike had been built. Countless new jobs opened up and people flooded into new towns.

A boom in technology and knowledge that rivaled the Fire Nation began to happen. People were finally able to settle down and study new mechanics, new medicines. New schools opened and so many more opportunities had been granted to the people of the Earth Kingdom. A new wave of life was brought to the Earth Kingdom. Death rates plummeted and birth rates were on the rise for the first time in a hundred years.

With the new technology, towns, and cities, were constructed within a year or two. People could plant their roots in these new towns and grow their families. They could have their own businesses and fortunes. From the mechanics to the farmers, the new and innovative were welcomed and praised.

With new medicine, Earth Kingdom shamans and healers turned into herbalists and doctors. Fewer children died before their time. Fewer people died of curable illnesses. Simple wrappings for broken bones turned into braces and casts. Instead of quarantined, people would be vaccinated. Even more serious internal injuries became easier to handle. Intelligent, experienced people would perform surgeries and issue medication. Instead of people being left on the street to die like they used to.

Yes, the Earth Kingdom's world had changed. It had gotten much better in countless ways over the years, but were things any different in the Fire Nation? The Water Tribes? Had the slums of the Fire Nation gotten any better? Were the people in the Water Tribes gaining new technologies? Were people becoming doctors in the Fire Nation? She wondered.

"Has it!?" She throws the covers off her legs and yanks the bottom drawer of her dresser open. She tosses a few clothing items out before she grabs a handful of scrolls from the far back of the drawer. "Look at all these!"

Aang can tell by the color of the scroll rods, the majority of them are from the Fire Nation. She has some others that are from both the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes mixed into the bunch.

"Remember that time I wanted to go back to that fishing village, Jang Hui?" Aang thinks back, recalling her running up to him, scroll in hand. He remembers that old, run-down fishing village they had once stumbled upon. It had bee while on their journeys before the end of the war. He remembers the guy with the hat and Katara disguising herself as the Painted Lady. He remembers her saying something about how they wished she returned. To see their growth. Or maybe they needed her help again? Or maybe it was something else?

"Remember how I told you it was important?" He remembers her hanging onto his arm as she told them they had to go. "But no, you told me that your affairs in the Earth Kingdom needed your attention first. Then we'd go back." She was right. He had yanked her off of him and waved her off. He began to cringe. "That was six or seven years ago now, Aang. Look at all these!" She repeats, but this time she throws some towards him.

Katara huffs and begins to go through the ones she still held onto. "Fire Nation, Fire Nation, Earth Kingdom, my own village!" She seethes at the sight of the scroll with her father's emblem. It hung from the scroll by a ribbon. "I ignored messages from my own home, for years! Because what you were doing was always so much more important than what I wanted to do!"

Aang's shoulders drop and he looks away from her. "I... I didn't know. I-"

"You didn't know?" Katara's jaw drops. "I told you! I tried telling you! Over and over and over again!" She shakes her head at him.

Katara had told him about the first few scrolls. She remembers telling him about Jang Hui, as he read one of his own scrolls by candle light. She had told him all about it, and he just read the scroll and hummed or nodded every now and then as she spoke. She had gotten up and left the room, unsure if he had even heard her, or even noticed her absence.

She had tried planting some of these trips into their plan. But, they were always somehow overrun by something. Or someone, who was somehow more important.

She had even packed both of their bags in an attempt to get him to go. Once, she had even begged him to go with her. Katara, a young woman, a master water bender. She had cried as she begged Aang to make time for a trip to the Southern Water tribe.

Aang had agreed after seeing her like that. He had even apologized for putting it off for so long. She had been right, it had been a long time since they had been to the Souther Watertribe. He had said that he missed Sokka and Suki. He had even wanted to see her father, Hakoda, again.

Her heart had jumped with joy. She had once again packed their bags in preparation for their trip. At the last minute, a Commander from the village they had been staying in ran up to the bison as he called for Aang. Once again, her plans had been canceled and put aside. Even after he had agreed, she had packed the bags. Even though they were on Appa, ready to fly away. Even after she had cried. Even after she had begged.

She shook her head. There was going to be no more begging. If that meant no more Aang as well, then so be it. This was it, this was the last day that those scrolls were going to be ignored. She would make sure that every last one of them was answered in some way. It could take her days, weeks, months. It didn't matter. As long as it took, she would do it. Regardless of what he says to try to get her to stay.

"Katara, I'm sorry-" He stops as she holds a hand up to him, still shaking her head.

"No, nope," She looks away from him. "I can't. I can't do this anymore." She turns and begins gathering up the scrolls, making sure to face away from him.

Aang's face falls and his heart begins to break. "Katara, please," He pleads, stepping to her side.

"No!" She whirls around to face him, her scrolls bundled in her arms. She glares at him before she turns around and reaches for a bag from underneath the bed. She drops the scrolls into as she avoids his gaze. Silently, she begins collecting her things from the bedside table. A book.

"Where are you going?" He scurries to her side again, watching as she shoves things into her bag. Her pillow, pairs of socks. She ignores him. "What - where - Katara, please!" She begins bundling up clothes and stuffing them into her bag. Aang grabs her by the arm and stares at her. "Why!?"

"Because!" She snatches her arm away from him. "I can't keep living like this." Her voice cracks, and tears well up in her blue eyes. She shakes her head and tries not to cry as she goes back to stuffing her old bag.

Katara has known for a long time now that she was rotting away in that house. The Earth Kingdom no longer needed support or relief from the other nations, or from them, or from her. With what happened on the Southern Coast, it could now help itself. She wasn't needed here anymore, the people didn't need her, and neither did Aang.

She had known for a long time that he had grown enough to handle this on his own. Even early on, he had made a lot of the harder decisions on his own. He did go to her for advice. He would always take her words into a count, but at the end of the day, he was the one who usually had the last call.

Aang was not a stupid young man. He had built entire villages from the ground up and created the political ladders that would run them. He would set laws into place and hand pick the people would enforce them and create new ones in his absence.

Katara had also known that her abilities and knowledge were needed elsewhere. She could have gone back to the Southern Water Tribe to teach water bending and healing. She could have gone with Toph to the inner rings of Ba Sing Se to eradicate the corrupted government. To bring truth to those who had been lied to by the Dai Li. She could have gone with Zuko and helped do what she and Aang did in the Earth Kingdom there in the Fire Nation.

But for all those years she had stuck beside Aang and done what he wanted to do. Regardless as to how much she longed to see her old friends again. Sure, they met every now and then, but it wasn't what she wanted. She wanted to make a difference in their respective areas alongside them, just as she had done for Aang.

She and Aang had found a whole new herd of flying bison, new groups of flying lemurs. They had even found old teachings and beliefs written in scrolls in the Air Temples together. Together, they hard started up schools that taught the old ways of the Air Nomads. Some people even began to adopt them. With the first, small group that had come together, she and Aang began to rebuild one of the Air Temples. She had helped Aang begin a whole new generation of Air Nomads. What could she have done for her other friends?

Would she have helped Toph rekindle her relationship with her mother and father had she gone with her? Would she have helped Azula if she had gone with Zuko? Or even help find his mother? Would she have helped Sokka rebuild their old village? She will never know now.

All this time, she had helped Aang tremendously, but she always felt as though she was stuck in his shadow. He made the headlines, he was the one the people always spoke about. He had parks named after him, even statues made in his honor. When was it her time?

She wasn't envious or jealous. She didn't resent him for what other people saw, but would Toph say her name during the victory speeches? Would Sokka make sure people knew his sister's name and her accomplishments? Would Zuko hold galas in her honor?

Katara remembers getting each one of those scrolls. At first, she felt a certain pride that they had asked for her specifically. She had wanted to respond to them urgently. She had spoken to Aang about them briefly. He had quickly shut her down, explaining to her that he had just one more meeting to go to. Just one more town to travel to, just one more day. Those days turned into weeks, and months, and then years.

For years she had been collecting those scrolls. For years her guilt and anxieties collected as well. She remembers reading the letter from Jang Hui. The new village leader had been present when she was there. He had seen what she had done with his own eyes. He wanted her to visit them again and see their progress.

Apparently, they had gone from small fishing village to a town. Now, they had a fish farm and everything. They had become one of the top fish distributors on that side of the Fire Nation. He also explained to her that one of their sister villagers needed her help. But she had declined with silence. So she could continue on helping Aang.

The silence had gone on for far too long, she figured. She needed to return with her voice. She wanted to organize those scrolls, and answer each one of those calls she had gotten. From the please help to the invitations to parties. She wanted to visit every person and place that had once called for her. Now she felt like she needed to.

She needed to do something for herself this time. She needed to build herself a home. She needed to heal herself. She needed time. For her. Katara needed to water her own plants, so they would grow. She knows, if she doesn't do something soon, she will wither away and die. Like the flowers on their windowsill.

She pauses for a moment to glance at him before she continues packing. "I'm just going." She states flatly, as she fastened her bag and flings it over her shoulder.

Aang shakes his head. "Just going!?" He gasps. Katara pushes past him and begins making her way out of the room. He follows closely behind her.

"Yes, Aang," Katara says this firmly, in an attempt to end the discussion. She doesn't even look behind her to see if he's there. "Just going."

Katara presses the front door open and makes her way out of the house, off the lawn, and into the street. She doesn't stop and she still doesn't look over her shoulder for him. Aang has stopped reaching for her and calling after her. So she assumes he still standing there in the doorway. She hopes that's where he is. Behind her.

She moves her bag to her side and reaches a hand into it, digging for a specific scroll. She goes through a couple before she finds the one she's looking for. The one from Jang Hui. She reads over it briefly before she stuffs it back down into her bag.

Katara makes a couple stops, one to pick up a few letter sets and another to pick up a second bag for some snacks. Then, she continues her way to the harbor.

It's not too far of a walk and she keeps a fast pace. By the time she gets there she's sweating and slightly panting. The sun is about an hour away from beginning to set. The sky is spotted with clouds that only just beginning to show shades of pink and purple. The water is calm. She knows there must be at least two ships that will pass over the ocean between the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation.

"One ticket." She says to the man in the toll booth. He reads her seal before handing her a single, one-way ticket.

Katara finds the ship and makes her way up the ramp. It's not until she gets to the stern of the ship that she begins to notice people stopping and staring at her. That's when she remembers who she is, and who she's supposed to be with. She can't help but huff and roll her eyes before she makes her way into the bulk of the ship to find her room.

She's not in there long. She only tosses her bag down onto the cot before she makes her back out onto the stern. She takes a seat on the port side of the ship and watches as the final people make their way up the ramp. It takes longer than she expected before the horn is blown and the ship begins to move.

Now the sky is darkened and the sun has dipped below the horizon. The stars are now visible, as well as the moon. Katara lets out a sigh as she closes her eyes, feeling the soft breeze brush up against her skin. She sits still and listens to the waves rush against the hull of the ship for a while before she looks up at the sky.

Tonight, the moon is full and glowing beautiful over the calm seas. Light glitters over the waves the ship makes as it cuts through the water. She sighs again and gazes up at the moon.

"Yue," She says softly. Tears well up in her eyes, but she stiffens up and holds them back. She silently pleads for the moon spirit to guide her. After all, she doesn't know where she's going. She just knows she's going.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think! I'm also looking for a Beta Reader, so if anyone is interested, please let me know. Thanks again!