Title: The Man I Want To Be
Author: Adain
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or the characters. I also do not own the song 'The Man I Want to Be' that would be Chris Young.
Summary: J.J and Emily have a fight. Emily goes to a bar and a certain song comes on the jukebox. Emily's POV.
Rating: T
The Man I Want To Be
I can't believe she would through all of that in my face. I was late oh my god. How many times has she been late coming home? Ok so she always calls me but we just got off a case and I forgot. I don't even know why I am in so much trouble. Oh good a bar up ahead I'll just stop there for a drink.
"What will you have?" The bartender asks.
"Scotch and keep 'em coming." I say as I sit down.
He pours the drink and I bring the glass to my lips. As it touches my lips the juke box opens with a new song.
God I'm down here on my knees
Cause it's the last place left to fall
Beggin' for another chance
If there's any chance at all
That you might still be listenin'
Lovin' and forgivin' guys like me
Ok I'm not a God kind of a person but this song does speak to me. I mean I have had a ton of bad relationships. Maybe I should see what God could help me with.
I've spent my whole life gettin' it all wrong
And I sure could use your help just from now on
I wanna be a good man
A do like I should man
I wanna be the kind of man the mirror likes to see
I wanna be a strong man
And admit that I was wrong man
God I'm askin' you to come change me
Into the man I wanna be
Maybe that is what I need. I need to think what she wants. All she wanted was for me to call and tell her I would be late coming home. I should have known better I mean, in our line of work anything can happen.
If there's any way for her and me to make another start
Could you see what you could do
To put some love back in her heart
Cause it gonna to take a miracle
After all I've done to really make her see
Oh, I hope she doesn't give up on us because of this. I mean we have had our fights but nothing like this. I have never walked out before and she has never stormed off. I can see it all now.
FLASHBACK
"What the fuck Emily where have you been?" Jennifer asked frantic as I came in the door.
Really she was going to start this now I have had a rough day I just want to go to bed. "I was at work finish my paper work. Why it's not like you've never been late coming home before." I snap back at her.
"Oh well at least I call you when I am going to be late." She through right back at me.
"Well I am sorry that I didn't let the all mighty Jennifer Juearu know where I was going to be." I say sarcastically.
"Oh so know you want to be a smart ass. All I'm asking is for a little warning when you are going to be late so that I don't worry." She says getting angrier at the growing situation.
"Oh you worried well than just forgive me your highness." I say as I start to walk to the door.
"Where are you going?" She yells.
"Out, oh and by the way I will be lat." I snap as I slam the door behind me.
END OF FLASHBACK
That I wanna be a stay man
I wanna be a brave man
I wanna be the kind of man she sees in her dreams
God I wanna be your man
And I wanna be her man
God I only hope she still believes
In the man I wanna be
I didn't even mean any of what I said I was just tired and wanted to go to bed. I didn't want to deal with a nagging J.J and everything else. Now that I am thinking about it, I am the wrong one. She had every right to get mad. I should have called her.
Well I know this late at night that talk is cheap
But Lord don't give up on me yeah
I wanna be a givin' man
I wanna really start livin' man
God I'm askin' you to come change me
Into the man I wanna be
As the last verse was sang I lay my money on the bar and walk out. I get in the car and drive back to the apartment praying to God I still have a chance. As I walk back into the apartment she is on the couch crying. My hearts breaks I hate to see her cry. I sit next to her and wrap my arms around her.
"I'm so sorry baby I should have called." I say as I kiss her head.
"No, I overreacted." She says trying to stop crying.
"Hope we agree that we were both wrong." I say with a smile as I lean into kiss her. She moans into the kiss.
"I love you. Please don't ever walk out like that again." She says as her breathing comes back to normal.
"I love you to. I want I promise I'm sorry." I say as I silently thank God for giving me another chance.