Vanessa looked on from the bar as Charity attempted to take a selfie with all of her kids surrounding her at a table. Though they had all been introduced individually before, this was the first time they had all been together at the Woolpack. Debbie, Noah and Ryan had just started to get to know one another and each was understandably apprehensive about their new siblings. Only Moses managed a genuine smile. He was fascinated by Ryan's long locks and in fact, insisted they capture a "pic-cha, pic-cha" on Charity's smartphone.
Whatever awkwardness Charity felt was overpowered by her happiness at the prospect of all of her kids forging some sort of relationship, even if just a tentative one. She really couldn't ask for much more given she had believed for almost three decades that one of the four had died.
As always, Vanessa offered to stick around for moral support but quickly saw that Charity could manage on her own. Her kids, her family, so much uncharted territory. When Charity promised to "rock her world" she never imagined what was to come. Their "bit of fun" had turned into a tectonic shift in both of their lives. Vanessa was delighted to finally see Charity this way, perhaps for the first time, the dark cloud having finally begun to lift.
Though it brought a smile to her face, it also made her more aware of her own feelings and mental state. She was physically and emotionally exhausted. For weeks, she had been so focused on Charity's needs and emotions, she neglected her own. Vanessa worried constantly about what was going to happen next. How would Charity react to developments in the police investigation? When would Charity next lash out in a way that provided the landlady a psychological salve in the moment, even if it ultimately proved self-defeating? As Charity came to trust Vanessa more and more over the past few months, she employed anger as a means to self-sooth less and less and instead shared her innermost fears with Vanessa. Communicate instead of retaliate.
Vanessa was still amazed by how strong Charity is now and how strong she must have always been to survive so much from such a young age. She had done her best to chip away at all of Charity's guilt, self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. The vet believed she had finally broken through and helped Charity realize she was worthy as a mother and as a partner. Lovable even.
Lovable. Charity WAS lovable. Vanessa was in love with Charity and she was as sure of this as she was sure the sun would rise the next morning. Yet, she hadn't ever said those words to Charity. She was afraid to and she wasn't even sure why. Maybe because from the beginning, she always felt like the two were moving at a different pace with the barmaid always the one playing catch-up. But when she did catch-up, wasn't it always in the most wonderful way? Wasn't it Charity who confessed just how much she cared that wonderful windy evening? Wasn't it Charity who asked for a "few strings" just hours after insisting that she and Vanessa were still just "casual"? Wasn't it Charity who stuck by her after she was suspended from her job? Still, Vanessa wasn't sure she could pinpoint when she fell in love with Charity. She only knew that if history was a good predictor of the future, there was a good chance that Charity might not feel the same way yet.
Vanessa headed back to Tug Ghyll leaving Charity to her brood. Johnny was staying with Frank and Tracy was away for a few days so she figured she would catch up on some rest and relaxation in the comfort of her own home. She opened a bottle of white, cozied up on the couch and didn't even bother to turn on the telly choosing instead to skim through her latest issue of VetRecord. She may as well be up to date on the diagnosis, prevention and control of salmonellosis in horses if she ever hopes to be a practicing vet again. She got as far as reading an article on pet insurance claims reaching an all time high when there was a knock at the door followed by it swiftly opening.
Charity had let herself in looking effervescent and decidedly sober.
Vanessa was quick to explain, "I didn't expect to see you tonight, thought I'd left you in good hands with Ryan and them. Hope you don't mind that I ducked out, I was knackered and thought I'd put my feet up and leave you to it with your family."
"I understand babe though I was a bit disappointed when I saw you skulk out. Ya see, spending time with you was to be the end of my brilliant evening and to be honest you looked a bit upset and as you well know, you being upset is my Achilles heel, especially if I'm the root cause."
Vanessa can't help but smile knowing Charity was thinking of her and not wanting to seem needy, she assures Charity, "Not upset, just tired," and then changing the subject, "Let me pour you some wine and make a spot for you here on the sofa." Ness grabbed another glass, filled it with more than a standard pour and handed it to Charity as she sat back down.
"That's a copious amount of wine, innit? If I didn't know any better I'd say you're trying to get me trollied. Might you be hoping for a cheeky squeeze tonight Miss Woodfield?"
With a full roll of her eyes Vanessa responds "A girl can dream."
Trying not to let on just how much she couldn't wait to see her girlfriend tonight, Charity playfully tells her, "Remind me not to offer you any shifts at the Woolie lest you give our profits away. Especially seeing as how without any profits in the till, I couldn't have gotten you this…." and she pulls a square jewelry box from Hancocks on Abbot out of her purse.
Doing her best not to look pleasantly surprised Vanessa asks "what are you going on about?"
"Open it," insists Charity with a gentle smile.
Trying to catch her breath, Vanessa takes the box in her hand and holds it. She stares at it. Too big to be a ring, too small to be a flask. Her mind races. She says bewilderedly, "Its not my birthday or anything…. Is it?"
"Right lady. Just how much HAVE you had to drink already if you don't even know when your birthday is?"
Vanessa stammers, "Its just… I wasn't expecting… I had no idea…."
Charity eyes her girlfriend with the same bemused expression she used when Vanessa couldn't articulate the word 'pathological' back in early days in the cellar. She mouths to Vanessa with a nod of emphasis after each word, "Open. It."
Vanessa opens the box and finds inside the most exquisite silver cuff bracelet with two magnificent blue delphinium charms at either end of the piece.
Vanessa, in shock and awe utters in a breathless voice, "Its beautiful. Its so beautiful. Its…."
"Magical even?" asks Charity rhetorically with a grin delighted that she has surprised her girlfriend. "Turn it over," she says with a wink and a tilt of her head. "Read the inscription," she instructs in her classic Charity whisper voice.
A gobsmacked Vanessa can barely draw her eyes away from her girlfriend to follow her directions but she manages to catch her breath and looks at the inside of the bracelet to find the following inscription that she reads outloud: "I am sure there is magic in everything."
She thought for a moment and asked, "Isn't that from The Secret Garden?"
Charity with a nod confirmed "You remembered. A whole chapter about magic actually and the idea that like a magical spell, you need to say things over and over again until they stay in your mind forever." Charity looks away wistfully, then returns her attention to Vanessa, takes the bracelet from her and gently wraps it around Vanessa's wrist. As she faces Vanessa, Charity takes each of Vanessa's hands, holds them tightly and takes a deep breath.
"Ness, you know I'm not one for dramatic oration or affectionate puffery. Best leave that to the vicars and Rodney I suppose. But, you need to know… you DESERVE to know how much you mean to me. You know I used to pop into town a lot over the past few months to escape…, well…, everything. Retail therapy never really helped but each time I passed by Hancock's jewelers, I'd see THIS bracelet in the window. The delphiniums always reminded me of The Secret Garden and their color…, well…, they are the same lovely blue as your gorgeous eyes. After I saw it the first time, I always made it a point to walk past. No matter how poorly I was feeling, no matter how scared I got, no matter how inconsequential I felt, when I would look in the window at this bracelet, it reminded me about the magic from the book and the magic I now have in my life. You're my magic Ness. You reminded me what I loved about that book. You reminded me that just like a flower needs the sun, I needed to think positively, and I needed to do it every day. And every time I was ready to give up, there you were to remind me about the magic…"
Both of them had tears welling up in their eyes.
"You made me believe in the magic and ultimately, you made me believe in myself." Charity's voice, cracking now, "All of which is to say, thank you for making me understand that I am worth more than that scared little girl on a street corner in Leeds thought she was worth. I love you Vanessa."
Overwhelmed with emotion, the women share a delicate kiss and embrace. As they hug each other with more urgency than they ever have before, Vanessa says to Charity over her shoulder "that was VERY dramatic and borderline flamboyant," and then pulling out of the hug and holding Charity's face in her hands she continues "and I bloody well love you too." The women laugh and smile and bask in the glow of the moment.
Charity, sensing there is only one way to calm the urgency of the moment asks, "What do you say we take THAT bottle of wine and THIS love fest upstairs?" to which Vanessa responds, "I thought you'd never ask."