Disclaimer: The characters and events depicted in this story are property of ABC/Disney. The quotes are from tvmegasite--they rock!
A/N: This is dedicated to Laura--she was my muse for this one. :)
Well, if I didn't have a reason before, I got one now.
That had been the beginning of it all, and now John stood in the middle of a scorched classroom at the Love Center wondering how it'd come to this. That first day when he'd seen those sea blue eyes and firey hair—it had all began and he wasn't ready for it to end yet.
Fire. It can destroy everything in its path and at the same time heat a room so the ones in it are warm and safe from the elements outside. That's what Natalie had done to him—the fire that was her had destroyed the wall he'd built up after everything in his life and the heat she'd left behind had let him continue to be in the land of the living for awhile.
But now he wasn't sure what to do. She was gone—taken away from him by the hands of a killer seeking revenge for something unknown.
Haver had been different—with Haver it was revenge for the words he said at the press conference. The words that made him lose Caitlyn and almost lose Natalie twice.
This man though—whatever his motive was John couldn't see or think straight at the moment because of the emotions that were pulling him under.
It was Natalie's fault—she'd taken away the shield and left him standing alone with nothing to hold onto for support—she'd burned it up so he couldn't pretend to be unfeeling anymore.
Honestly, it was his fault—he'd taken the first step that day playing with fire and was burned. Every word and glance she gave him since then—they all kept burning into his heart and mind.
I don't even know why I came here.
You came here to tell me to go to hell.
Go to hell.
Yeah, that's where he belonged. Burning for eternity in hell for what he'd done to her. She hadn't been the only one doing the burning, he'd probably burned her more and scarred her soul more than anyone should have the right to admit.
I'm thinking I can move on. It's time and I want to.
Where had they gone wrong? They were at this point—no longer scared of being hurt by anyone else in their life and then it'd all fallen apart. He'd began to see Evangeline. Was that the reason? That he'd found someone safe—that didn't burn him with her looks or words. That knew what her goals were.
Even then Natalie knew what her goal was—him. She'd loved him, and loved him when he didn't have the courage to say it back. It was an emotion—one of the few emotions he thought he could keep in check with her, and so he'd lied.
I don't love you, Natalie.
Had he been kidding himself when he said those words? Yeah. But that had always been their game—their solo dance as they wandered through life feeling alone. The truth was they weren't alone, they had each other—even if the fear of getting burned again was back once more.
If what he felt in his heart was right, that the fire wasn't completely gone—that it was just smoldering, waiting to be started up again, then next time he'd face it head on. And if he got to play the dance again with it he'd let himself be burned, and he'd let the reason he lived again into his heart.
If he was being honest with himself he didn't mind getting burned, as long as it was her that was doing the burning.