As is standard, I don't own Kuroshitsuji, nor any of the characters contained within this piece of fiction- save one very special example. Thank you for reading.
It was with a resigned, eloquent sigh that Grell returned to the lodgings of the Grim Reapers. His particular boarding house was a shoddy, shabby little place on the corner where he could overlook the gardens of the main offices and daydream. The quick, cool little breezes that came in his windows often lent to the efficiency of his daydreaming, and so he'd come to enjoy his little hole in the wall.
Up five flights of stairs (exhausting! especially for a maiden like himself), down to the end of the corridor (invigorating! to be so close to home), and open the door with a hard poke of the key to shove it firmly in the lock (such a manly, brutal action- ooo!): that was how Grell got home.
He seated himself on the chair by the door as he unlaced his shoes, setting his scythe on its hook on the wall to do it. Grell shucked his coat, took off his glasses, and idly braided his hair for sleep as he looked out the window at the main offices. Supposing William was still at work- 'supposing!', what a funny idea- what was he up to right now? Likely sorting through some novice reaper's poorly coded report and frowning hard enough to burst a vein or five, even in his post-death state.
Grell allowed himself a chuckle and started to strip for bed- ah, but it was hot tonight in this strange place. So he skipped the part where he put on nightclothes and, with the air of a child hiding a savory, filthy little secret, he dove onto his bed nude.
Alas, he wasn't to enjoy it much, for his day had been long and really, really, he was quite tired. So it didn't take long for him to settle, and relax, and finally slip away to sleep.
When he next woke it was with a mixed degree of puzzlement and curiosity. He seemed to be covered entirely in whipped cream and drizzles of chocolate sauce (which, after a curious lick, he found to be quite tasty). When he sat up he found (ohhhhh, how embarrassing to a lovely vixen like himself) that his rear had been sprinkled with nuts and candied fruits as well. Looking around, he couldn't make out much other than the occasional frothy mountain of candies or whipped cream.
"Superbly odd," Grell pronounced, licking the end of his fingers clean.
"Odd? Hardly." There was the abrupt click of heels behind him, and as Grell turned, he found his heart leaping up to chainsaw most invigoratingly in his throat.
"Sebas-chan!" Truly a dream come true- there was the man himself, wearing nothing but some rather stunning black stiletto heels, leather short shorts, and a tightly-pulled boned silk corset that only served to accentuate Sebastian's incredible (if he did say so) figure. For some reason he wore curved horns, and he was holding a whip and a rather impressive-looking bunch of bananas. Honestly, he hadn't seen such regal specimens since… well, ever.
The silence that stretched over them was as incredible as Sebastian's appearance here. Grell found himself curling into a coquettish pose, blushing pink and raising a finger to his mouth to lick at it.
"Are you a cherry?" Asked Sebastian very primly, as if this was a genuine question.
"Why, Sebas-chan, what a forward question to ask," Grell cooed, batting his eyelashes at the demon. "A tender-"
"Because," said Sebastian quite dangerously, approaching with two diminutive clicks of his heels, "cherries are supposed to be red."
"Er," said Grell, tossed quite out of his element and into another.
"And in some ways you are," the demon said, seating himself on the cold curve of an unseen swell of ice cream, "but in other ways, you are disappointingly unripe."
"Oohhhh," Grell responded, expression caught in a half-grin, half-grimace, "well, you see, Sebas-chan, I can certainly show that I am absolutely ripe for the picking."
"Is that so," said Sebastian, and flicked out his whip. The bananas he put to the side, resting arrogantly on the top of a nearby whipped cream tower that had been conjured up by that whip.
"Mmmm," responded Grell, and crawled up to this veritable nightmare of leather and silk and demon on his hands and knees.
Sebastian caught him by the hair, pulling him up to his knees and examining him with a ferociously critical eye. Grimacing against the pain, Grell felt his prick begin to wake up- mmm, a little pain to get the blood going, and from Sebastian of all people. For now, though, his whipped cream covering hid his reaction.
"Not bad," he finally acknowledged, pulling Grell closer to him by the hair. He took a hard hand and slapped Grell's rump, which made him jump. Grell moaned, arching forward to press to Sebastian's knees. The demon took this as a sign to tap his lap authoritatively.
Grell felt this was going a bit fast, suddenly, and he colored as he hesitated. Sebastian was fixing him with a wicked stare, but abruptly Grell understood. Aha! Well. Fair enough. He lay himself across those handsome, stately knees, trembling with feminine anticipation. And sure enough- smack! smack! SMACK!
Each hit to his rear made him jerk against Sebastian's knees, grinding himself down in a cruel parody of lovemaking. Soon he was arching and begging, gasping, for him to stop- ah!- that it was too much- ah!- that he simply couldn't go on- ah! But Sebastian held him down across his knees, and Grell was too well-pleased with attentions from his beloved Sebas-chan to protest too firmly.
Finally he let off, and spreading his legs he allowed Grell to shimmy down and off him. Hopelessly aroused, happily mastered, and blindly lusting, he drew his tongue up the inside of one of the demon's legs.
"This will do," Sebastian proclaimed, groping Grell's bright red buttocks with the thorough, authoritative air of a man examining a cart horse's hocks.
"For what?" Grell asked, fluttering his lashes and nibbling at his lip.
"For the sundae," said the demon, and raising a foot set it on Grell's shoulder to give him a push back from his leg.
Typical Sebastian. Such a tease.
-Or maybe not, Grell thought with savor, remaining as he had landed with splayed legs and a sore rear and a desperate expression on his face. For Sebastian had risen from his seat, immaculate despite the confections everywhere, and had snatched his bananas, kings among their kind, into the crook of his arm.
He approached with that hard snapping step that made Grell's blood heat up. The hard shaft of his prick was visible through the whipped cream, now, but by some fortunate chance a dot of thick cream obscured his tip.
"What's this?" Said Sebastian, coming to a stop standing above Grell, one handsome foot on either side of his chest. He couldn't help but look up and up and up, up those long legs and to where the shorts just very subtly pressed in on his flesh. If he looked up more he could see the brilliant, breathtaking press of leather against Sebastian's cock and balls, and the sight made his mouth water. He was hard, too- what bliss!
The demon above him shifted his stance and took one of those dangerous feet off the ground. Though Grell had utter faith in the man's balance, he couldn't help but feel nervous when that sharp spike of a heel approached his groin. Sebastian nudged at his shaft with his hard shoe, expression chilly as ever.
"My… cherry?" Grell offered. He felt a bit feeble after being subjected to this kind of decidedly un-maidenlike treatment. It made his prick lift, even so, but- goodness, those shoes were sharp.
"It's been covered up," Sebastian said with the gravest face the shinigami had ever seen on the man. "That will not do."
And without another word Sebastian dropped to his knees between Grell's legs, braced a hand on his belly and another on the mysterious ground, and licked the tip of his cock clean of cream as neatly as a cat would have.
"Oh my god," moaned Grell, and fisted his own hair. He might have screamed- he wasn't sure.
Sebastian wasn't satisfied with just the tip of Grell's erection being clean, though (and Grell, moaning in a thoroughly damaged manner, decided he would forever and ever on be kind to William); his fastidious, detail-oriented self set down to cleaning Grell of any kind of cream imaginary or real.
While he was doing that Grell started to beg, rather desperately, for Sebas-chan to come into him and let him carry his child. He wasn't even precisely aware of saying it until Sebastian pulled back, licking his lips. A thin string of mingled precome and saliva stretched between the demon's lips until, with a heart-rending snap, it broke.
"Are you ready?" Grell nodded blindly, willing to do or say just about anything to ensure that this feverishly mad turn of events would continue.
Much to his uncertainty, Sebastian spread his legs up over his shoulders but did not stand to remove his savory shorts. Giving a little shimmy, Grell peered up between his own knees to see the demon loosening one of those impressive bananas from its kin.
Oh.
Um.
What?
"Wouldn't you rather use your prick~?" Trilled Grell, eyeballing the banana that had been chosen. Even amongst its brethren it was unquestionably the biggest, the girthiest, the longest- and at that, considerably larger than any cock the shinigami had ever seen.
"Don't be absurd," Sebastian grunted, taking up his whip and whipping at the cream to their left, then at the cream right over Grell's wrists- both of them. He held terribly still- he'd seen, in the sudden gleam of light, that Sebastian's whip was metal, and he really did appreciate being able to see out of both eyes. "It wouldn't be a banana split then."
The cream to their side Sebastian took as a lubrication for the banana, wetting his fingers with it and then tracing Grell's entrance methodically. The owner of said entrance was leaning up still, staring at Sebastian.
"A banana-?"
"Split," he said in response, and slid two long fingers inside Grell. (For all his claims of maidenhood and purity and fluttering hearts, Grell was in fact reasonably experienced, and so he took the fingers with aplomb.)
"Ohhhh," wavered out Grell, and dropped his head back. That didn't last too much longer, though- soon he was writhing and begging, panting, pulling at the whipped cream around his wrists. Alas- Sebastian hadn't only been whipping the stuff to still Grell. Now magically transformed by some kind of sundae-making demonic magic (and really, really, Grell had seen a lot but that was just a bit too much to handle), the cream held against his wildest struggles.
Soon Sebastian was pulling his fingers from Grell's body, and while he whimpered and moaned he also had to face the hard reality that he would not be bearing Sebas-chan's child any time soon. No, it seemed he would be facing life as the eternal bride of a banana split.
Well, as long as it was Sebastian's banana split….!
"AH!" Screamed Grell. Good lord, if that was how the demon handled his cock- just shoving it all in there- he was not impressed. He'd imagined Sebastian to have more finesse.
Shifting around the incredible girth of what he decided must have been the king of bananas, Grell felt himself begin to blush again. What fine force the banana had- what driving passion! Indeed, as he found himself rocked back and forth by the strong impulses of a mad banana, Grell spread his legs wantonly, pleading for more. "Please, oh, please," he entreated the air, having completely forgotten Sebastian in the throes of bananaish passion.
"Quite," Sebastian agreed, straddling Grell again. He was almost unsurprised to realize that the banana was in fact fucking him all by itself. (Almost.)
"Sebas-chan," Grell breathed, struggling against his whipped-cream restraints, hips jerking frantically as his body was conquered by the ferocity of a banana long-deprived.
"Allow me to carry your child, Grell," offered the demon, and he stood up to shuck his shorts. (He left, much to Grell's satisfaction, the corset and heels on.)
"Why, I wouldn't want to impose such a burden on you," Grell replied with some surprise, though it actually sounded more like a series of pants and wildly horny moans as the banana continued to make him its bitch. Sebastian seemed to get the gist anyway, for he tipped his head up regally.
"I am one hell of a cream whipper," he proclaimed, and if Grell hadn't been in the process of becoming the bride of a banana he would have sighed in exultation.
Sebastian displayed himself to have excellent calf and thigh muscles, as he lowered himself onto Grell from his standing position. Really, the man was just one hot package of perfection. As he began to slide Grell into himself, Sebastian shivered and moaned, eventually dropping to his knees. (Grell found some satisfaction in the knowledge that his Sebastian didn't take it up the ass very much at all.)
Finally Grell was inside his beloved Sebastian, who, panting open-mouthed, had flung his head back. Grell's passionate bridegroom the banana had cordially stopped pounding his ass to allow the poor demon to adjust, but now that he was seated it began its ruthless conquest once more. Grell in turn began to moan and squirm and buck, and Sebastian, balanced on Grell, was the one to take the brunt of both passions.
"I can feel it!" Gasped Grell, who, while still restrained, was taking every chance to make Sebastian scream with passion. "Oh, I can feel it! It's- it's-"
With a sudden rush his passionate master erupted into him, spreading the sticky essence of banana deep within. Screaming, Grell came into Sebastian, who accepted the brutal thrusts into him with decorum, where 'decorum' can be read as 'ferocious orgasmic howling'.
"Oh," said Grell faintly when everybody had stopped screaming or howling or whatever they'd been doing.
"Ah," said Sebastian, extricating Grell from his body. The shinigami just happened to look up at the right time to see a trickle of whitish creamy liquid leaking from his entrance. (He would have been delighted, but honestly he couldn't see straight yet, and so was uncertain if it was in fact cream or not.)
"What a to-do," said a deep, masterful voice from near Grell's rear. Sebastian and Grell both jerked around and up to look- and there stood a man-sized banana, staring at them with utter passion. "I shall be happy to have you both as my wife and concubine," said the banana king.
To be honest, Grell was so completely overwhelmed by the sheer virility of his voice that he passed right out.
"Three letters from London for the young master," Sebastian offered the boy the little silver tray.
"Nothing interesting?" He flicked through the addresses with an idle, bored expression.
"No, sir. Simply informants' reports and a letter from Miss Elizabeth."
"Hn," snorted Ciel, and resumed drinking his tea.
As the two stood and sat there, Sebastian thought over the past few weeks. Nothing exciting at all had happened- which was odd, given they'd run into Grell thrice.
Each time the shinigami had blown Sebastian an absent kiss, as if it was simply a habit, but he'd neither said nor done anything further. To his utter horror the demon found himself harboring feelings of jealousy, rather as if he were a jilted lover. While he certainly didn't welcome Grell's disgusting attentions, it was something he'd grown accustomed to.
However, he did wonder what had brought on the change. The only connection he could make was that, each time he saw the other man, he had a banana somewhere on his person- in his hand, in a pocket, tucked into his sleeve- but that solved nothing at all.
No, nothing at all.