Prologue - Thoughts

BPOV

Edward is gone. It's been six months since he left me in the standing in the woods. He left me broken and afraid and barely alive. Even now the pain rips through me when ever his memory passes through my mind.

My walls are bare. I took down all the poster and pictures that had once hung there. I even took down the mirror. I couldn't bare to look at myself. At first it was because I hadn't been enough for him. Now, it was because I couldn't bare to see what everyone else saw so clearly. The pale, gaunt cheeks, the deep bluish circles under my eyes, and the look of absolute hopelessness.

I had changed all of my bedding. Even after washing the old stuff time and time again, I could swear his scent still lingered. If I could have afforded it, I would have replaced the whole damn bed.

I died my hair. Edward had said brown was warm. He had at least at some point like my hair. I couldn't bring myself to cut it, but I died it black. It seemed to suit my mood. Especially these days.

For awhile there, things had been better. Jacob and I became friends, best friends. He soothed the pain that ravaged my chest and made my life feel like it was something worth living again. I thought I could count on him to be my rock. I was wrong.

After that night at the movies, I couldn't reach him. He just shut me out. I was finally able to put the pieces together and see that he had become a werewolf. I didn't care. I just wanted my friend back. But Jacob couldn't see past my former relationship with Edward. Once again I was left broken by a creature other than human.

I threw out the dream catcher. Jacob had given it to me when he was still my friend.

I took a crowbar to my bike. I left in his garage like that. I wanted him to see that he broke me as much as I broke the bike.

I refused to drive my truck. Jake had rebuilt the engine for me before his dad gave it to me. I think he may have left his jacket in there.

Maybe I should burn that.

Now, as if everything wasn't bad enough, Victoria is back. She wants to get revenge on Edward for killing James by killing me. Too bad she doesn't seem to realize that he won't give a shit. He left. I wasn't good enough.

The pack says they will protect me. I want to believe them. I am forcing myself to trust them. Jake may not be my friend anymore, but he does care about me. Doesn't he?

So why does it feel like everything is about to come crumbling down even more?

Just a little something to get this ball rolling.