Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Not That Different
Hinata sat alone, watching other people as they conversed pleasantly. Or, it was meant to be pleasant, she supposed. The ground beneath her was extremely hot, and she was caught between wanting to stand and find someplace cooler and not wanting to move at all. She absently twisted a strand of hair around her finger, sighing. The main branch of the Hyuuga clan had been invited to the Village Hidden in the Sand along with a few other clans. It was to improve relations, she reasoned, for the treaty the two villages intended to make. The Uchiha clan probably would've been invited too if not for... well, anyway. She was tired, alone, and she wanted to go home. Not that there was much for her there, either...
Hanabi had disappeared somewhere in the first ten minutes they'd gotten there, and Hinata was hoping she wouldn't run into her father. As the heiress of the head title of the Hyuuga clan, she knew she was supposed to go talk to people and make a good impression but she was so scared to speak to anyone she didn't know. Or anyone she did know, for that matter. Her father would be so angry...
She stood to her feet, her legs aching from being tucked under her for so long. Better to talk to strangers than to deal with her father, she gave in at last. She stared ahead at them all, feeling anxious. They looked so far away, and each was smiling, as if they were perfectly happy not talking to her. Was this really necessary? She sighed again. She'd never have the strength for things like this. Well, the least she could do was find some shade, she supposed. She turned around to look for someplace else when she noticed someone else had been standing there.
"S-sorry," she said instinctively, even though he was standing ten metres away and she couldn't possibly be irritating him.
He barely glanced at her.
She stared down at the floor, wincing. Couldn't she do anything right? He probably thought she was an idiot.
Great. Her father was going to kill her, she thought. Making a good impression? She was too scared to even talk to anybody! Why was she so pathetic...
She stared at the floor, angry with herself. Then she sighed, long and slow, and glanced back at the person. Well... he seemed quiet enough, and he was alone too. Maybe she could try talking to him? And if he didn't respond, at least she could say she tried...
She clenched her fists and walked over to him stiffly.
"He-hello," she said, wanting to kill herself for stuttering. He glanced at her again, expressionless. Not even bored, just expressionless. She took a deep breath, hoping he didn't notice.
"I'm-" she blinked a few times. "I'm Hinata Hyuuga. It's nice to meet you..."
His arms were crossed, and he wasn't even looking at her anymore, just staring ahead at the people talking. She looked at them too, feeling discouraged. He didn't even acknowledge that she had spoken...
She wanted to give up, to just sit down again and pretend none of this had even happened.
"I-I'm from Konoha..." she said weakly. Why was she even bothering? He was still staring ahead.
"So, um... are you from Suna?"
He was quiet. She wanted to walk away and cry.
"Yes," he said after a moment. She looked up sharply, surprised. His face was still expressionless and she wondered for a second if she'd just imagined his response.
He didn't say anything else. She looked back at the ground.
"I'm supposed to talk to people," she said, not looking up. "I'm supposed to talk to the people here. To help make good relations for the treaty... but..."
She shook her head, not sure why she was saying this. "I don't know. I'm sorry."
The silence was awful.
"I'm not supposed to be here," he said, finally. A shiver went up her spine.
"...how did you get on grounds, then?"
What if she was talking to an assassin? What if he'd come to kill everyone there? What if-
"I live here, but I'm not meant to join them."
"You live here?"
He didn't respond.
She wondered if he was some kind of servant. He didn't really look like one... She coughed.
He looked at her.
"I'm trying to tell you you aren't supposed to talk to me."
"Oh..."
She was going to cry.
It was quiet. Hinata's hands were shaking and he just stood there impassively.
She'd been doing so well... okay, not really, but she'd actually tried and look what happened...
She sighed. Well, just because she wasn't supposed to...
"Well, um," she said. "Not to be rude, but... I mean… you aren't supposed to be here and you are so why can't I talk to you?"
Ugh, no, why, no, why...
She was such an idiot, why did she have to say that...
"I didn't say you can't," he said. "I said you aren't supposed to."
Oh God... so much for making good relations. He probably had nothing to do with anything...
"What's your name?" she asked, if only to be polite.
"Gaara of the Desert," he said after a pause.
Hinata's eyes widened. His name was Gaara?
She didn't know what to say.
"Oh... I'm Hina-"
"I know. You said that earlier."
"Oh."
She cringed.
He muttered under his breath.
Gaara of the Desert... he sounded important.
"Do you work for the Kazekage?"
"I'm a shinobi."
So, yes, then, but...
"Wh-why do you live here, though?"
He looked at her out the corner of his eye, still expressionless.
"The Kazekage is my father."
"Oh!"
She'd been talking to his son?
Red crept across her face. He was the Kazekage's son! And she'd been so rude, and oh no, she'd probably ruined the treaty... This was all her fault!
"I-I'm sorry," she said breathlessly. He turned toward her, properly acknowledging her for the first time.
"Why?"
Oh, no, what had she apologized for? There was nothing wrong with him being the Kazekage's son!
"For being so rude and-"
"What?"
She cut herself off. Confusion had flickered across his face but it was gone now.
"What if he wasn't my father?"
She felt horrible.
"I-I'd still be sorry- I mean- oh, it all came out wrong..."
Now he was looking at the floor, and when she studied his face she could see he still looked puzzled. She quickly looked away. She'd probably offended him, and now he thought she was an idiot and-
"I... don't understand..." he said. "What you're apologizing for."
She wanted to take the apology back.
"F-for asking too many questions and-"
"Stop," he said. She clamped her mouth shut. "It wasn't rude."
Her face was red.
"A-alright..."
"Why are you still talking to me?"
She looked ahead at where she'd been sitting earlier. Now that she thought about it, she hadn't even realized she was standing right beside him. She took a small step to the side.
"I just..."
"I told you I'm not supposed to be here."
Why wasn't the Kazekage's son supposed to be here anyway?
"I don't want to be alone."
He blinked.
"There are hundreds of others," he said, not exaggerating. Actually, he had a point.
"I don't want to talk to them," she admitted softly. He looked more confused. She was confused too.
"If you aren't supposed to be here..." she trailed off.
He didn't beckon her to finish her sentence.
"I-I mean, if you're the Kazekage's son..."
His face was no longer confused, just expressionless.
"Why aren't you supposed to be here?"
She regretted it as soon as the words were out of her mouth.
Gaara didn't seem offended, but then, the only expression he'd had so far was confusion and that was at her inconsistency.
There was a long pause and she was about to apologize for asking when he said, "They're worried that I'll kill everyone."
"What?" she said. Why would he kill everyone? Had he lied to her? Was he really an assassin? Suddenly, she felt cold though the heat had been scalding a moment ago. He didn't elaborate further.
"Wh-why would... why would they think that?"
She didn't even want to know.
"I'm known for it."
His voice had a raspy quality to it that was starting to scare her. Then she thought, 'but I'm still alive..."
It was too hot again.
"...I don't think they know you very well."
He looked confused again but it quickly faded.
"Excuse me?"
"Y-you wouldn't do that..."
"You've known me for ten minutes," he pointed out.
Yes, but..." her thoughts flashed to Naruto. "But... I'm still alive, so..."
He waited.
"So... you'd have started, right? And... and even if you're not supposed to be here, they knew that you could get in and... nobody's died, so..."
He turned back to the crowd.
"You should be afraid."
"I-I am afraid," she admitted. She was staring at the floor. "But I always am..."
"...you're... always afraid someone will kill you?" he sounded skeptical.
"No," she said. "I'm always afraid people will hate me."
"Hmph," he said. "If people want to hate you, they'll hate you no matter what you say. That's a stupid thing to be afraid of."
She looked at the ground. Sand was swirling gently around her ankles.
"And I'm afraid of accidentally hurting people."
A look of amusement flashed across his features. "You're incapable of hurting anyone."
She sighed.
"I hope so," she said. "Because then people won't have a reason to hate me."
"Hurting people makes them hate you?"
"Sometimes," she said. "If they don't really know you..."
She thought of Naruto again.
"People sometimes hate people for things they didn't do... or couldn't help..."
Gaara looked at her sharply. He said nothing, but it was clear that he wanted her to elaborate. She sighed, not sure if she wanted to continue.
"That happened to my friend," she said slowly, her cheeks warming at the claim that Naruto was her friend. "People blame him for things that happened years ago, things he couldn't control, just because he's..."
She searched for the word.
"...connected to the one who did it."
"Your... friend?"
"My father told me not to talk to him because he was dangerous... I never understood it."
She was staring into the distance now, remembering the exact instance when her father had told her that, years ago.
"He... well, he tries so hard. He always says he'll prove everyone is wrong about him, that someday people will respect him... I don't think he even knows why everyone hates him." She clenched her fists, staring at the ground. "And neither do I..."
"I told you not to talk to me," Gaara said.
She looked up at him. "Why do they think you would kill everyone?" she asked again.
"Because I would," he answered, sending a chill up her spine. She looked up and straight at him, noticing his eyes were green.
"Wh-why?"
"It makes me feel alive."
Hinata froze.
"Wh-what?"
"It gives me a purpose."
"I don't understand..."
He closed his eyes.
"Before I was born, there was a demon. A sand demon."
Her eyes widened.
"My father wanted it controlled, so he sealed it within me, using my mother as a sacrifice."
He seemed to be looking behind her at something. "Yes, my mother died so I could live. There was no other reason for my birth. I was to be trained as a weapon for the Sand village and that was all."
He looked down at his hands.
"My father gave me everything I wanted, put me into training before I knew what being alive meant. And that was how it was until I was six years old."
Hinata didn't like where this was going. She looked at the sand and saw it was swirling faster around her ankles than it had been earlier.
"The power... it was too strong. I couldn't control it. People started dying, and I became a threat to the village rather than a tool. So, my father tried to kill me. Many times, he sent assassin after assassin..." Gaara was so calm as he said it, as if it meant nothing. "I didn't understand it... I didn't understand why he had stopped loving me... and after a long time, I realized it was because he never had. And... that was all. I was alone. There was nothing to live for, everyone wanted to kill me... the entire purpose for my existence had been taken from me."
Hinata knew all too well how it felt for your father to hate you, but at least hers had never tried to kill her...
"Then I realized I didn't need his love... his, or anyone else's."
She looked up at him. On his forehead was the word 'love'. Written like it was a reminder of something...
"If I could love myself, if I could live only for myself, I would never need anyone else... so I made myself the only person I cared about, the only one I live for..."
It sounded lonely.
"So I kill others," he said. "I'll kill everyone. I'll kill every other person in the world, because it reminds me of why I live. It reminds me that I'll never need anyone, and it gives me a purpose. Something to live for. A goal. I can never disappear while there are still other people in the world for me to get rid of."
She thought his voice had a trace of an emotion in it, but then dismissed it as her imagination.
"That's why."
Hinata was silent. After a few minutes, he opened his mouth to say something. She cut him off.
"I wish someone had been kind to you," she burst.
He looked surprised.
"It's not your fault," she said, feeling the same anger she felt when she thought of how people treated Naruto. "You were a child, you didn't know how to control it..." Her lips trembled. "You were only six years old, did your father expect you to have mastered a demon he couldn't even control? It's so horrible, and unfair, and, and-"
He stared at her, looking bewildered.
"And cruel! You shouldn't have had to put up with that, and you were so young, I mean, you are so young... You didn't even know what you were dealing with and you were punished for it..."
She blinked several times.
"...what?" he said, sounding absolutely confused when she didn't speak for several minutes. "I don't understand... why don't you fear me?"
She shook her head. "I don't know... maybe I'm just foolish..."
"Yes," he agreed.
"I wish I could help you somehow..."
He glared at her. "I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's help."
"I know," she said softly.
He stared at her.
"I really want to kill you."
The sand had twisted around her ankles.
"At least Father will be pleased," she said. The sand fell.
"What?"
"He doesn't want to kill me," she said, quickly realizing her mistake.
"What, then?"
"I'm so unfit to lead our clan I'm certain he'd break tradition and give the role to my sister if he could," she said, unable to stop the words spilling out.
He was quiet. The sun was giving Hinata a headache.
"I'm sorry for bothering you," she said, realizing he probably hadn't wanted to talk to her.
"I just told you I want to kill you."
"I know."
"Why..."
She shrugged. "You want to kill everyone."
"Why don't you hate me for it?"
"I don't hate anyone."
He stared at her, probably because he couldn't understand how someone could hate no one when he hated everyone.
"And... thank you," she said when he didn't respond.
"Why?"
"For not killing me... and for talking to me."
He didn't answer that, but his eyes looked a little wider. She guessed he wasn't told that often.
"I should go now..."
"Yes."
She smiled at him, figuring it was the least she could do.
"Goodbye, Gaara."
"I'll kill you next time, Hinata Hyuuga."
She nodded, then walked away. She decided that she liked Gaara. For some reason, she could see some of herself in him. She secretly hoped that someday, her family would come to Suna again.
A/N: GaaHina is my favorite Naruto pairing. It can be difficult to write, though. I decided to challenge myself with this one-shot. Re-reading it, it's not as good as I'd thought it was at the time that I'd written it (which was a few months ago), but ah well. I have a few chapters that continue it, and if inspiration strikes, I may keep writing. I'm not going to post those unless I either finish the fic or officially decide to discontinue this. Thank you for reading, and reviews are always appreciated!