"Garrus... what in the name of sanity are you wearing?" Miranda asked. Shepard had clapped a hand over her mouth, trying to contain her laughter.
They were in the middle of a battle. A raid on a suspected Blue Suns warehouse. But... he'd seen it, and he couldn't help but wear it. It was as if something had called to him... compelled him... told him to pick the thing up, and put it on his head.
"It's a hat. A really cool hat." He told her. Bullets still flew over their cover. Garrus reached up with one hand, and stroked the rim of the hat arrogantly. "It's a fedora."
"Why in the world would you put that on your head?" Miranda demanded. Shepard was starting to loose it.
"Because, it's a hat. You're supposed to put them on your head. That's what they're for. Duh." He popped out of cover, leveled his rifle, and fired, taking the head off of one of the mercs before he crouched back down again. He maintained a very serious face, unlike Shepard's cracking composure.
"Howdy." That did it; the straw that broke the camel's back. Shepard burst out laughing, and Miranda glared at him with the fury of a thousand suns. Garrus made a pleased, rumbling sound in the back of his throat. Maybe that was part of the reason he'd picked up the fedora? It had been too long since Shepard laughed like that.
"We are in the middle of a warzone!" Miranda exclaimed.
"Yeah. And heroes wear fedoras. Good thing you've got a hero with you." he deadpanned, before popping out of cover again, this time to kill three mercs in succession. Shepard managed to reign herself in, and fired her trusty hand cannon, bullets meeting their marks as always. The wind suddenly picked up violently.
Unfortunately for Garrus, fedoras were designed for a human head, not a turian one. He yelped as it was blown off his head, reaching up with one hand to try and secure it. But it was already too late.
"Drone!" one merc shouted. In and instant, several bullets burst through the flying piece of headwear, dropped to the ground, ruined, before the mercs realized it was not a drone, but a rather unfortunate hat they had shot. Garrus watched with his jaw hanging open, mandibles parted, a mortified expression on his face.
"Hmm." Miranda commented. "That merc is my hero."
"Your mean." Garrus whimpered at her, before looking at Shepard with glistening puppy eyes, pointing at Miranda with one claw. "Mommy, she's being mean."
Shepard reached over Miranda's back to pat him on the head. "Shh, shhh. There, there. Mommy will get you a new hat. How does that sound?"
Miranda's mutinous expression was all they needed.
I am getting EXCEPTIONALLY positive reception to Legion the Geth and the Case of the Kitten. You guys voted for the Flying fedora, so here we are!
What next? Thane Krios and the Spiders of Nope, Tali'Zorah and the Trench Coat Full of Bees, Javik the Jerk and the Friday Morning Routine, Urdnot Grunt and the Frabjous Snow Day, or Ashley Williams and the Smelly Surprise.
Your choice! Vote up!
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