He was going to kill Loki for this. He could practically hear the trickster god chortling three seats away, hand up to muffle his laughter. The lights were still dim, and the characters went through the motions on stage.
It had seemed like an innocuous late birthday present: he had been out riding, flying with Mud below him in Night Fury form. They had danced among the clouds, Hiccup freefalling with Toothless at times.
They had come down at sundown because of the new curfew Mom and Dad had initiated; Hiccup had accidentally found out that Mud was sneaking out on the nights that he had nightmares and Dad had nearly popped a vein. Bedtime before moon time, he had shouted. Mud hadn't looked better after the shouting.
"Oy! Hiccup!" A thin man wearing a dark cloak had appeared.
"On my way!" Hiccup had bounded over, Toothless following him. "What's up, Loki?"
"Uncle Loki," the god had corrected him. "Remember, you're my second-favorite nephew now."
Hiccup had grimaced. His uncle had produced two small pieces of paper, two small hard squares.
"Here. Happy late birthday."
He had taken the papers, didn't recognize the writing on them.
"These are tickets to a special performance," Loki had said. "We Vikings and Vanir don't have plays, but the fairies do. Queen Titania of the South sponsors plays and has commissioned this one. They have a troupe that is performing a celebration of dragons, using life-sized puppets and wires for flight."
"What are tickets?"
"Oh, right. You mortals don't know about them." Loki had explained what a ticket was, had said that Hiccup could take his dragon and another mortal. His father or girlfriend, perhaps. "Are you game?"
Hiccup had known that Loki liked offering challenges, that this was a test of some sort. But on the other hand, it was never wise to refuse a god known for causing mischief.
"I'm game."
So here he and Astrid were, Toothless laying his head on Hiccup's lap, watching this performance from an elevated seat called a balcony. Loki sat at the far end of the balcony, eyes on Hiccup's face. It was an indoor show, but the building had no roof. Creatures sat below on flat benches for seats, some clenching nuts and puffy candy.
He had received another piece of paper, a "program". Loki had tapped the writing and translated it into runes. The name HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON LIVE SPECTACULAR appeared. He read the details, and his jaw dropped.
This was about him and Toothless. And Astrid.
"Of course, it's not the ACTUAL spectacular that will appear in a thousand years or so," Loki explained with a devilish grin. "It's the equivalent that the fairies came up with. Titania loves young heroes."
Astrid read the program with interest.
"I wonder how they know our story," she whispered as the lights dimmed, and dragon puppets started to float.
"They're fairies. They watch everything," Loki replied.
It went wrong the minute the blond boy appeared on stage. He was about six feet tall, well-built, and wearing baggy clothes. He stooped to appear smaller, less confident than he should have. His voice also sounded whiny, and he fell down a lot.
Hiccup was brunette, a fishbone, and he didn't wear over-sized tunics. Yet this blond impostor was posing as him, saying lines he had never said, whining the way he never had. The guy playing his dad sounded . . . meaner. Much meaner.
"I don't sound like that!" he whispered to Astrid. "Do I?"
She shook her head, but the show enthralled her. They got her character right; a pixie blonde girl swung onto the stage, grabbing a baby from a burning hut. Hiccup had to admit that the show's effects worked well, what with fire and explosions.
"Oh gods, your face," Loki chortled. "That look on your face!"
Hiccup glared and kept silent, scratching Toothless behind the ears. The scratching kept him from flying down there and terrorizing that blonde boy. He'd live through this. He had survived worse.
Yet, seeing someone else portray his life was uncanny. Even uncannier were the life-sized puppet dragons. They had a Monstrous Nightmare march onto the stage like nobody's business, the puppeteers hidden either under or beside the dragon. No actor acknowledged the puppeteers, treating them as if they were invisible. If you ignored them, you could pretend the dragons were moving on their own.
Then they got to the scene in the woods. Hiccup's actor gave a horrible "I am a Viking!" screech that made Hiccup sink into his chair, but Toothless's ears perked as he saw his cloth doppelganger on the stage. The dragon actually put his snout over the balcony edge.
Onstage, Toothless's puppeteer was a slender girl dressed in black. She walked beside the dragon, controlled his motions with several metal rods. Thick strings connected the rods to the puppet dragon, were even able to move his eyes. Although the girl didn't speak, she vibrated with personality as puppet Toothless growled and pounced on blonde stage Hiccup. Her eyes glittered despite her dark costume.
The real Toothless watched as if hypnotized.
The Toothless parts made the show bearable for Hiccup: he saw his blonde counterpart bonding with the large puppet, drawing with it, and even flying thanks to well-placed wires. Otherwise? It was pure torture to watch his actor fumble through dragon training, even stronger torture to see that mean representation of his dad.
Astrid pursed her lips when seeing the actress playing her fail against a Nadder. Which wasn't what had happened. That was her only complaint, because they nailed her character. Completely unfair.
They reached the part where the bad acting and Toothless's puppet collided, in the Kill Ring. That was the only time Hiccup leaned forward, and he bit his lip. The blonde's whining made sense here, begging them not to hurt Toothless. That was what Hiccup had done, and the puppet's gestures made it more heartbreaking. Hiccup's mind went back to that awful day, despite himself.
At last, the show was over. Stage Hiccup kept his leg, probably because they couldn't fake a prosthetic, but the Green Death was still defeated. People applauded, stage Hiccup and Astrid came out to take a bow, and they received several encores.
"This is an outrage," Hiccup muttered. He stood up, face bright red.
"Where are you going?" Astrid asked.
"To have a word with that guy," he said. Toothless followed him with concern.
"Look for the dressing rooms," Loki called helpfully. "Find that hidden door next to the balcony staircase, head down one flight-"
Hiccup was half-listening. He stormed down the steps, not caring if he pushed past people. Most were still in their seats, but a few traipsed to where a small man sold nuts and candy.
He somehow found the dressing rooms. People stared at the dragon following him, but he didn't care. Rage and embarrassment churned within.
He found the door whose runes matched the name on the program. The door was slightly open. He was about to knock, to bang and demand an explanation for that representation of him, when odd sounds came from within the room. He peered through the crack in the door.
His actor and Toothless's puppeteer were locked in an embrace, kissing passionately. In the bright light, Hiccup had to admit she was pretty in her black clothes. His actor's makeup was smudging onto her face, onto her cheeks.
That was how they had managed a convincing performance. Hiccup's actor was a lucky guy.
He didn't bang on the door. He didn't yell. Instead, he waited with his dragon. When the kissing sounds stopped, he knocked, gently. The door opened.
"Hi," Hiccup said. "Ignore the dragon."
It took a while for the blonde guy to comprehend. Then he looked down, realized that Hiccup was wearing a genuine Viking vest and shirt. His eyes landed on the prosthetic, and on the dragon who watched with curiosity.
"Oh gods, it's you!" he said, and it was his turn to blush. "I didn't realize- I didn't know you were-"
"Believe me, I didn't either," Hiccup said. He saw the girl in black wipe her face, eyeing Toothless with curiosity. That helped his anger dissipate.
His actor had meant well. He had tried to give a convincing performance; he just needed a little guidance.
"You did a decent job," Hiccup said. "I just have some background information and notes you may be interested in. May I?"
The actor ushered him in. Toothless followed, the girl watching the dragon with fascination. She still had some stray make-up on her face. They sat down on plush chairs, Toothless on the floor.
"Just to let you know," Hiccup's actor said, "we have to pack up so we can perform tomorrow in Titania's castle. So there isn't much time to talk."
Hiccup smiled. "Then I better get started."
It wasn't the complete humiliation that Loki had planned for him, though it was humiliating. But it was certainly not a dull late birthday present. And, as Hiccup detailed his gentle criticism about his actor's voice intonation and the way things had played between him and Astrid, he realized what a gift it was.
Others were watching his story. Others were learning about dragons, about how he had bonded with Toothless. And Loki had given him the chance to refine that tale.
Heroes didn't often get to revise their legends and legacies. Now Hiccup could.