„So…Dray…Who are you going to ask out for the ball?" Blaise asked Draco during breakfast.
It was early December and from the ceiling of the Great Hall, soft snowflakes were falling down and vanished before they touched anything.
"Don't know yet…", the blond wizard grumbled.
"Really?" Goyle looked confused, "I could swear you already got more than twenty invitations. Why don't you take one of them?"
"Just because people tend to invite me, I'm not as desperate as you to go with anyone."
"So there is someone you want to ask?"
"Argh, shut up Crabbe, don't you have something else you can occupy your tiny brain with?"
Luckily, his friends were used to him insulting them or they would have noticed that he was a lot more thin-skinned recently, especially when it came to that stupid ball. Since the Yule Ball took place two years ago, students had been adamant that there would be a ball every year. Professor Dumbledore had liked the idea of spreading the Christmas Spirit and joy in these dark times, but as many students went home over the holidays, he had suggested to celebrate life on New Year's Eve. So when the headmaster announced the party on the first night of this school year again, everyone above the third grade had gone crazy. Ball attire was bought, hairstyles were planned and all girls seemed to walked around in groups giggling every time a good-looking boy walked past them. It was just like last year and Draco couldn't understand all the fuss his fellow students made.
"I guess you know exactly who you would like to ask, don't you?", Blaise whispered into his ear, so Crabbe and Goyle couldn't hear him.
His good breeding didn't allow him to blush, but he couldn't prevent his gaze to wander to the other side of the Great Hall.
"Jackpot." His friend smirked and leaned back complacently.
"I never should have told you", Draco hissed and turned towards his porridge again.
Draco hadn't planned on telling anyone about his secret crush on Harry Potter. He had been hard enough to accept it himself that he had fallen in love with 'the Chosen One'. Somewhere between their third and fourth year of school, his hate and repulsion towards him had changed. He always had enjoyed mocking him and his friends, but over the course of time, he had rather lost himself in those beautiful green eyes than insulting Potter, Weasley and Granger. He had hated himself for months, he had tried to go out with as many girls and boys as possible, but none of them had been as interesting, as strong and as captivating as "the Boy Who Lived". He had no idea what it had it been exactly what he fell in love with, but by the end of their fourth year he had to admit that he liked him more than he wanted to.
While Draco had been able to cover his upcoming feelings that year, he had spent the whole fifth year trying to not let anyone notice and to forget about his crush. As fighting with Potter hadn't been as much fun anymore, he had already stopped that before the summer holidays after their fourth year. People had been curious of his change of mind, but he stayed silent and covered it as a sign of maturation. With his icy look, he could make anyone shut up and crouch before him, but some of his friends were intelligent enough to notice the change in his behaviour and the hidden gazes he had darted at Gryffindor. For one whole year, he had succeeded in avoiding every conversation with Blaise and Nott that had led into that direction. It hadn't been only his strange and new behaviour towards Potter, there had been other things that were different about him.
His father had always put a lot of pressure on him and although he always acted like he didn't need to put a lot of effort in things, he had to work hard to keep up his performance in school. Usually Draco had been fine with that, making everyone believe that he was gifted with everything. But during their fourth year in Hogwarts, there had been no Quidditch, so he hadn't many opportunities to work himself off. Getting himself all exhausted had always helped him to calm his mind and to relax a bit. This way he could release his mind from all the pressure and the negative thoughts that followed him everywhere. Now, that he had realized that his feelings for Potter weren't the same as before, he needed to distract himself more than ever.
Due to the Triwizard Tournament, 'the Chosen One' had been more than present as he was one of the Hogwarts Champions. It was one thing to meet him every day in school, but hearing his name in every corner, seeing his face on every newspaper article and just imagining him being exposed to all the dangers and risks that were part of the Tournament didn't relax him at all. He had no idea where these feelings came from. Why would he worry about the boy he hated the most? His dreams at that time were hunted by those green eyes that usually looked at him with disgust. Even worse than the nightmares he had of Potter being killed by a dragon or drowning in the Black Lake, were the dreams when they spent time together like they were friends. Dreams in which "the Boy Who Lived" laughed at a joke Draco had made appeared quite often and one time, the Slytherin even dreamt that they had been holding hands. When he woke up the next day, he could still sense the warm, tingly feeling in his stomach and he swore to himself that he would never sleep again.
As this idea didn't work out after he nearly fell asleep in on of Snape's potions class, he had started working out in the Slytherin common room at night when everybody was asleep, in order to exhaust himself so much, he would fall into a dreamless sleep as soon as his body touched the comfortable pillows of his bed. But while he could run away from the dream-Potter, the real-life-Potter hunted him every day. Draco would never forget how much it hurt when he laughed at him when he was transfigured into a ferret by that stupid guy who pretended to be Moody. Yes, he had supported Diggory during the tournament, but if he didn't, everyone would have noticed that something was up with him. He laughed at Harry and he mocked him all the time, but it didn't feel good at all. All the satisfaction he had received from hating him the past years had vanished. At least, he couldn't deny his feelings anymore, when he found out that Potter had faced the Dark Lord. The relief that flooded his body when he came back from that graveyard alive, showed him more than clearly what his true feelings were like.
During the summer holidays that followed their fourth year at Hogwarts, Draco had done something incredibly stupid. He had a bit too much of the wine that had accompanied dinner which wasn't a strange thing in general. He had started to drink a little more than he tolerated to be able to fall asleep without thinking about Potter. But this one night, he hadn't been able to close his eyes. He had been sitting next to the huge window in his room and asked himself if 'the Boy Who Lived' was still awake, too. Suddenly, he felt sorry for him. Not only because of what he had done to him during the past years, but even more because he had to witness the Dark Lord's return and Diggory being killed in front of his eyes. He wished he could tell him, how strong he thought he was for still keeping on fighting, even though many people hated him, but Potter would never listen to him and even if he did, he wouldn't believe a word. But another idea came into his mind and back then, it had sounded not bad at all. He wrote a letter. He didn't tell his true name, of course. Instead, he had signed if with D. L. – Draco Lucius. In that way it didn't seem impersonal, but it wouldn't reveal himself as the writer. When Draco had woken up the next morning, he would have loved to kill himself as soon as he remembered his study idea from the night before, but it was already too late. He had sent his owl right after he had finished writing. He just hoped that Potter would think of it as a joke or a trick by some Death Eater and he even managed to push it in the back of his mind, when suddenly one night his owl returned – a letter in its beak.
'Dear D. L.,
I hesitated quite a while to write you back, yet I assumed it to be impolite not to.
Recently, a lot of people seem to distance themselves from me as they cannot stand the news that Voldemort has returned. As if this would help them. Just because they don't want to think about it, doesn't mean he isn't plotting something. I wish I could distract myself as they do, but I'm stuck here.
Anyways, I thank you for writing to me and for believing in me and what I saw.
Kind regards,
Harry Potter'
Since then, they had exchanged letters from time to time. Harry didn't write much back at the start, but Draco had been surprised that got an answer in the first place. Just knowing he had a way to communicate with 'the Chosen One', made him incredibly happy – happier than he admitted to himself. They had even continued through their whole fifth year. Draco had been writing about how much he really hated Umbridge, how hard school was and about other things that came to his mind without revealing to much of his identity. This way, he had been able to compensate for his behaviour towards him in school. He knew it was stupid and that it wouldn't work out forever, but for the time being, he enjoyed the nervous but exciting feeling when his owl came back to him carrying a letter from Harry.
When exactly Draco had changed to referred to him as 'Harry' and not 'Potter', the Slytherin couldn't remember anymore. It felt a lot closer, fitting their relationship a lot better. At the least the relationship they had on paper and since 'the Chose One' had started to just sign with his forename, he had somehow adapted it into his thoughts. Nott has been the first one to notice the secret letters that only arrived at night, but Draco had managed to talk him off. Blaise, however, had been a lot more persistent and one night, when the blond wizard had felt that the whole world was lasting on his shoulders, when he believed that he couldn't go on following Umbridge in whatever she did, they had been drinking Fire Whiskey together in the deserted common room and Draco told his friend about his feelings. Zabini had been confused at first, believing that he was kidding him, but soon he understood that Draco had been honest and he fell silent for quite some time. The blond boy had prepared to be mocked and laughed at, but neither of that happened. Instead he scratched his head and said "Guess that explains a lot." The whole night he had listened to Draco without judging him. "I just don't know what to do anymore, Blaise," he said when they were already lying in bed. His friend yawned. "Maybe you should start being a little nicer to him."
From that point on, Draco had tried to take Blaise's words to heart and started being friendlier to Harry and his friends. At first, he had only started greeting them every now and then. Then, he had started throwing an encouraging smile to him every time Snape shouted at him or punished him. Of course, 'the Boy Who Lived' had been confused, but soon he seemed to become used to this and sometimes he even smiled back which always made Draco's heart skip a beat. So far, not many people had noted the change in their relationship apart from Weasley and Granger as most people had stopped caring about his behaviour towards Harry since he had stopped mocking him. Draco, however, had decided to even go a step further.
His life in the following days had been more than annoying as his fellow Slytherins kept on asking what had been wrong with him or what he had intended to accomplish with his behaviour, but for him, these few seconds in which he was able to hold Harry's hand, were something he would never forget. It had been the first Quidditch game of the year and though Weasley had been a lousy Keeper, Gryffindor had won. The scarlet red team had celebrated their win on the field when 'the Boy Who Lived' suddenly stood next to Draco. Gathering all his courage, the Slytherin had reached out his hand. "Congrats, Potter. Well played." Much to his surprise, Harry had smiled at him, taking his hand. "Thanks, Malfoy." If he hadn't been so caught up by the other's sparkling green eyes and the feeling of their touching hands, he would have loved to see the astonishment and disbelieve in the faces around him.
Being so close to Harry for just one time had made it even harder for him to have to watch him at the first annual "New Year Ball" that took place much to Umbridge's dismay. She would have loved to cancel it, but the headmaster had insisted on it and even the Ministry of Magic had found no reason to support Umbridge's application Draco hadn't been too excited to go there, so he had just accepted Pansy's invitation. She was alright to dance with and he could talk to her, at least. But the whole night, it hasn't been his companion who bothered him, but Harry's. 'The Chosen One' had been invited by a cute Gryffindor girl approximately from the fourth year. The Slytherin had no idea why Harry had accepted, because he didn't seem to be too pleased with her as she sat next to him nervously playing with her hair. Draco knew that it shouldn't have bothered him so much as they definitely weren't a couple, but watching them dance had made his chest feel tight and his jaw tense. At the same time, however, he hadn't been able to take his eyes off the Gryffindor and when he laid in bed later that night, he imagined what if would feel like holding Harry into his arms while leading him in the waltz through the Great Hall.
From then on, Draco had had a hard time in is fifth year. Way too often he was torn between doing what he thought was right and following Umbridge's and his father's orders. Having accepted his feelings for Harry didn't make things easier at all. He had tried to secretly warn him and his friends if the High Inquisitor had planned to make a move on them. More than once he had experienced her punishment of letting pupils write lines with their own blood. On his hands he could still see the light shadows of what she had made him write over and over again 'I must not disobey.' Luckily, most people who had been aware of this had been too afraid to mock him, so Draco was relieved when he was kicked off the Inquisitory Squad. Thinking of it, it hurt a little that Harry would never knew that it was thanks to him that the D. A. wasn't exposed. The Slytherin would have loved to know what he would think about him, if he ever found out. But what good would it do telling him? He wouldn't believe him anyways.
Draco got up from breakfast and wanted to leave the Great Hall, but not without walking by the Gryffindor table. It had become a habit he had developed some time last year and he wasn't willing to give it up. He loved to see Harry's hair that was still all tangled from his sleep. He was looking forward to see him nearly falling asleep as Granger and Weasley were arguing. Sometimes he dared to wish him a good morning, sometimes he just nodded to him. Most of the time, however, he silently enjoyed his increased heartbeat as he walked past the table. As much as it hurt sometimes to be stuck with this unrequited love, he had become used to this pain and tried to focus on the small moments that made him forget that he would never be able to tell Harry about his true feelings. Different from usual, Harry didn't seem to be tired this morning. Instead, he was holding a letter in his hands. A letter, Draco just knew too well. The Gryffindor tried to read it while sheltering the view from the red head that attempted to catch a glimpse on the text.
"She wrote you again? Why doesn't she finally stop?", the weasel asked his friend.
"Because I answer them."
"You keep answering her? Why did you do that? You don't even know who she is. D. L. That could be anyone, maybe even a Death Eater."
"Because I like exchanging letters with them. I don't think that they want something bad happening to me. I know that it might sound naïve, but their style of writing is so honest, I can't believe they were told to write me by Voldemort. During the last year, their letters have made me really happy sometimes. They have encouraged me to keep on fighting. They even helped me a lot after Sirius…", Harry stopped and his face convulsed in pain. "And why do you think, they're a girl, Ron?" he changed the topic.
"Which guy would write so many letters? I bet it's a girl from Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw that's just too shy to talk to you."
"Maybe a guy who is a lot more sensitive than you, Ronald," Granger who had been reading 'Confronting the faceless' barged into their conversation.
"Nah, that's not plausible, Mione. And look at the words – that's definitely a girl's hand-writing."
"Not every guy has such a scrawl as you."
"Guys, please," Harry tried to prevent his friends from fighting, "it's neither the handwriting nor the fact that they do write letters, but I just felt like D.L. is a boy."
"And who do you think he is? He's in Hogwarts, too, isn't he?"
"I don't know. I just know that he must be in our grade."
"And you're not curious to know who he is? Why didn't you ask him if you already send him replies?"
"Yes, maybe I want to know. But I don't need to. As long as he doesn't want to reveal his true identity to me, I'm fine with it."
"But Harry…Sorry Malfoy, is there anything we can do for you or do you just like overhearing other people's conversation", Weasley addressed Draco who had hadn't been able to move since he had seen "the Chosen One" reading his letter.
"I…I'm sorry…," he stumbled and nearly ran out of the Great Hall.
He first stopped when he reached a hidden corner far away in the dungeons. Harry liked writing to him. He really enjoyed it. Draco had to cover his mouth or he would have laughed out loud and he couldn't stop smiling. When he had started writing to 'the Boy Who Lived', he surely wanted him to feel better, he wanted him to know that there were people who believed him and cared for him. He never would have expected this to be something that would go on over more than a year, neither had he dared to believe that the Gryffindor would enjoy this as much as Draco did. If he could only tell him about his true feelings, then…Yeah, then what? Harry would know that there was somebody in love with him – not something completely new to him as he still was admired by hundreds of people. Even if Draco was stupid enough to confess, the other boy would never knew it was him. Maybe for a few moments, the Slytherin would feel relieved. But Harry already said that he imagined the writer to be a boy. Would he be disgusted if the was confessed to by someone of the same gender? Would he stop writing to him? And what would happen if he ever found out that it was Draco who hid behind D. L.? Would he mock him? Would he let him pay for all the years he had treated him like trash? He sank onto the floor, the joy that had just filled his body completely vanished and the coldness of the dungeons lingering for him. He was cursed. Maybe this was a punishment of the heavens for his insolent, conceited behaviour. He was doomed to be in love with Harry Potter without any chance of even conveying his feelings – let alone have them returned.
He didn't know how long he was sitting in the cold until Blaise walked past him. He hadn't noticed him at first as he was hidden by the shadows, but he took a second look and recognized his friend.
Dray, what the hell are you doing down…? Dray? Are you alright?" He knelt down next to the blonde boy and look at him worryingly. "Hey…What's wrong? Did anything happen?"
Draco would have loved to tell him how much he hated being in love with "the Chosen One", how much it hurt seeing him every day without the chance of getting closer to him. He already opened his mouth when he heard voices in the distance and he got up as fast as he could. He straightened his robes and walked past Zabini not saying a single word.
The whole day, he wasn't able of thinking of anything else than Harry. He didn't listen to any of his lessons. He missed out on everything people said to him. He didn't even notice that Snape was scolding him for not paying attention until he was standing right in front of him, shouting at him. "Mister Malfoy! I'm not used to see such a behaviour from you, but this is going to be punished nevertheless. Ten pages on the use of Calla palustris in the middle ages until tomorrow night." Some Gryffindors laughed. Some smirked. But the only one who mattered looked at him without a malicious glee in this eyes. He rather looked troubled and pitiful, but he smiled at him encouragingly – just as Draco had done so many times before. Although he would have expected this to awake this warmth in him that he always felt when Harry smiled at him, his heart tensed as though it was hit by a curse. It hurt. Why did it suddenly hurt so much? For the rest of this lesson, the Slytherin tried to turn his gaze away from the boy on the other side of the room. Even though it hurt, he couldn't stop looking at him and it felt like his heart was shattered a little more with every moment that passed.
Draco was more than happy when Blaise dragged him out of the class room into their common room at the end of the lesson. He wouldn't have been able to turn his eyes away from Harry.
"I don't know what's wrong with you, but don't tell me there's nothing! You look even more pale than usual. Take a rest. I'll excuse you and ask Madame Pomfrey for something that makes you sleep."
Zabini didn't even give him the chance to fight back, because he shoved him to their bedrooms and left the common room again. Draco lied down on his bed. Probably some rest would be nice. He hadn't slept a lot lately. Every time when he closed his eyes, he remembered last year's ball and how much it had hurt to watch Harry dancing with somebody else. Just writing to him had made him so attached to him, he couldn't keep up his emotional distance. Would it get only worse if he continued?
Maybe he should just stop writing him. Maybe it would stop hurting so much. Maybe he would get accustomed to the feelings that dwelled inside him if he cut the only contact they had. If he just watched him from afar without secretly talking to him through their letters, his feelings might fade away. A sudden knock on the door rouse him from his thoughts, but when he opened the door nobody was there. Draco looked down and to his feet, he found a small bottle filled with a golden liquid and a note. He picked up both and recognized Blaise's writing. "Sleep well and dream of me ;)". The Slytherin smiled and returned back to his bed. He should thank is friend later. One more time, Draco realized how lucky he was having at least some friends he could count on. He brought the small bottle to his lips and emptied it at once. At first, he felt nothing, but soon his eye lids felt heavy and he fell into a sleepless dream.
'Knock, knock, knock.' – "Go away Blaise!" – 'Knock, knock, knock.' – "You wanted me to sleep. Why are you waking me up know?" – 'Knock, knock, knock.' – "Argh…" Draco opened his eyes. It was already dark outside. Even though the Slytherin common room had no windows, the bedrooms were equipped with two large ones. It would have been a pain if they couldn't let some fresh air in. Right outside the window next to Draco's bed, his eagle owl was waiting for him to let him in. In his beak, it held a letter and there was no doubt it was from Harry, although it was quite unusual for him to respond the same day. With a sigh, Draco opened the window and his owl hopped right onto his bed and snuggled up to his master's hand. The Slytherin fondle his feathers.
"Thanks, Darius."
He had read that name once in a history book. It had been the name of a great king of the Persian Empire and he had liked it. He tried to ignore the letter that had fallen into his lap. He wanted to distance himself a bit from Harry. At least emotionally. As he didn't open it right away, the owl kept nudging his fingers as if his job was only complete it he read the letter. "Okay, okay." He cautiously opened it and recognized Harry's untidy hand-writing.
'Dear, D.
I hope this letter finds you well. I hope that all this homework isn't stressing you out too much. But I certainly believe they want to kill us with that. The only ones who survive will surely pass the N.E. at least with an A. That way they'll make sure that nobody is failing the whole exam.
I totally understand what you were saying about the this stupid "New Year Ball". All the excitement is just ridiculous. I mean, it was nice last year, but I don't get why everyone is making such a fuss about it. If one more girl asks me out, I swear I'll ask Neville just to make them stop. I guess it's only something special if you have somebody accompanying you who you really like.
I prefer to think about the past year in quiet and make a wish for the new one on my own than being forced to dance with someone I don't like in a fuggy room. I must sound really unhappy about my date last year. She wasn't a bad girl at all. She was easy to dance with, but…we haven't had a lot to talk about, you know. If I spent the whole night with someone, I want it to be somebody I can talk to, somebody I can have fun with. So for this year, I decided to go on my own rather than going with just anyone. That way I can sneak up the Astronomy Tower at midnight without somebody noticing. For the last years, I've always spent New Year's Eve up there. It's so quiet there, I have time so sort my thoughts and think about the past year and the upcoming in peace. It's a calm moment I have just for my own. Of course, it would be nice to share it with somebody, but I'm already used to being on my own during the holidays. It's not different from my childhood at all.
Anyways, I don't care if people talk if I don't have a date. I'm way above that already. There is only one person I would like to ask, but I don't know how to approach them. What about you? Do you already have a date? If you don't, maybe we could go together? Just kidding. I totally understand that you want to remain unknown. I just thought it would be nice spending that night with you.
Anyways, will you spent Christmas with your family or are you going to stay in Hogwarts? If you don't want to tell me, it's fine. There usually aren't that many people here during the holidays… As for me, you might already guess, but I'll stay here as usual. I was invited over to Ron's family, but I wanted to have some days in peace.'
There was a huge spot of ink on the letter.
"Sorry for the smudge. Ron wanted to read the letter and I had to fight against him. I know I could make it vanish, but it looked a little like an owl and I thought it was funny. I should know better than writing to you in front of my annoyingly-curious friends. They don't understand why I keep up sending you letters. But I like it and I don't want to stop just because other people might think it is weird. I might sound too emotional know, but I feel like I can talk to you without being judged. Yes, my friends are great and I'm more than happy to have them, but sometimes….Argh forget about it. I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your letters and that I'm awaiting every single one.
- Oh and don't worry. Neither Ron nor Hermione ever read a single line you sent me. This is my precious and mine alone… (If you don't get it, this is a reference to a pretty popular muggle book called 'Lord of the Rings'. You should give if a try if you have time. The first hundred pages are a bit boring, but the rest is totally worth it.)
Anyways, I hope to hear from you soon.
Harry'
Draco's hand trembled when he lay the letter aside. There were too many things he had to think about. It had hurt him a lot to read that there was somebody Harry would like to go to the ball with. He wouldn't stand seeing him being surrounded by another stupid girl again. Draco never really had learnt what jealously was when he was growing up, but maybe due to that, it hurt so much he thought he mind get mad. Last year, he might have had a little crush on "the Boy Who Lived", nothing really spectacular. One year later however, thanks to all those stupid letters, his feelings had grown to an extant he never believed possible. Draco had once heard that love is the strongest when you want the other person to be happy, with or without you. Back then, he thought it was stupid. He wouldn't give up on somebody if he truly liked them. Now, however, he understood. Reading his words made one thing clear to him: Even if it hurt him so much he wanted to die, he couldn't stop writing Harry. If this was the only way he could contribute to his happiness that so it should be.
When Draco woke up the next morning, he wished he had left some of the sleeping potion from last night. While his little nap yesterday afternoon had made him feel refreshed, last night's sleep had exhausted him again. He hated those dreams and if they wouldn't stop soon, he would have to ask Madam Pomfrey for a stronger 'dream eater' or he would go mad. Why did it feel so good sitting next to Harry in his dreams, having all the conversations they had written down in reality face to face? Why did every little smile from the Gryffindor have to make his heart beat so hard, it might crash his chest? Why could he still feel the other's boys soft touch on his hand when he woke up? Draco looked outside. The weak winter sun was just rising on the horizon. He decided to work out a little in the common room as long as there was no one awake besides him. If his muscles hurt from the exercise, he might be able to forget the gentle feeling of Harry' warm fingers on the back of his hand.
An hour later, sweating like a pig, Draco's body didn't know any feeling but pain. He probably had overdone it, but at least he was able to focus on something different than his dream. After taking a nice, hot shower, he decided to go to the library instead of waiting for his friends to go to breakfast. He wasn't hungry anyways and he didn't feel like being asked about who he would ask out for the ball every day. Maybe because it reminded him a little of home, the silence around the shelves, filled with thousands of book, comforted him. Whenever he needed to free his head, Draco came here, sat down in a section that nobody normally came to and hid himself in a book. Most people didn't know, but he loved reading a lot since this was the only way to hide from the dark shadows Malfoy Manor threw on his life.
When he had been a child, they hadn't felt as heavy as today, but even then, he had wanted to escape from there every now and then. Especially last summer, he had been hiding himself in books to flee from this place where Death Eaters gathered. They had even wanted him to join them, but luckily with the help of his mother, he had been able to convince them that it was less conspicuous if he didn't walk around Hogwarts with a Dark Mark on his arm. How in hell should he have told them that, since he fell in love with the one the Dark Lord wanted to kill the most, he had questioned everything about their mission and goals.
Draco walked through the shelves looking for something particular. He had heard about the book before as it was one of the most famous wizard-written book in the muggle world. Most of the creatures in there were just loosely based on the actually living ones. Things like Nazguls didn't exist, of course, but dementors did. Somewhere deep in the section for the muggle literature (why it existed, Draco had no idea as nobody ever went there), he found what he had been searching. A thick, rather old and well-thumbed looking book in tones of brown and red was standing before him. He retrieved it from the shelve and sat down close to one of the large windows. 'Let's see, if he has a good taste in books.'
About one hour later, Draco had to force himself to stop reading and make his way to class instead. After the huge birthday party, the book really got a bit slow, but he already love the universe a lot. He was looking forward to the adventures of Frodo Baggins and Gandalf the Grey, even though the latter reminded him a lot of a certain headmaster. Before he went to Transfiguration, he stopped by Madame Pince to borrow the book. She looked at him a little confused.
"Nobody wanted to read this in years," she mumbled when she returned it to him.
Quite content that he had found something he could read instead of sleeping and dreaming of Harry, Draco hurried to his lesson. He didn't want to be late at all, since he already missed it yesterday and he didn't want to stretch out Prof. McGonagall's patience. Not taking care of his surroundings, he suddenly ran into somebody.
"What the…" Instantly, he fell silent.
Of course, he didn't run into just somebody – he ran into Harry Potter himself.
"I'm…sorry…I didn't…"
Geez, why was he always feeling so nervous lately when he was close the 'the Chosen One'. If he only could talk normally to him, things wouldn't be as bad. But anything that went beyond "Good morning" and "Good night" seemed to overwhelm his brain.
"No need to apologize. I didn't pay attention either."
Draco tried to move, but the beautiful smile the Gryffindor gave him, made him stay were he was. For an awkward, yet amazing moment, none of them dared to move. Instead, they looked into each other's eyes. For a second, the Slytherin felt recharged with power. He felt like his usual, confident self again. If the boy in front of him was able to get caught in his dull grey eyes as much as Draco did in the most stunning emerald green ones, there wasn't nothing between them. Maybe, just maybe he should just try to be courageous. He took one step forward and he nearly had asked Harry if he wanted to go the ball with him. But he just had opened his mouth, he heard a group of chatty first or second graders walking around the corner. Within a second, he realized what he just had done. He turned around and wanted to run as far away from Harry as he could, but he was stopped.
"Malfoy!"
'The Boy Who Lived' caught up to him and handed him the book that had fallen down when they crashed.
"You lost that."
Draco's eyes widened in shock when he noticed that Harry had been able to read the title. He would be more than stupid if he didn't draw the only obvious conclusion: that Draco was hiding behind D. L. But the Gryffindor just smiled at him again.
"Good choice." And with these words he turned around and left, leaving behind a confused and terribly trembling Draco.
The following days, the Slytherin had a hard time to sort his feelings. Still shocked that he had nearly asked Harry out and afraid that he had been discovered, he hesitated to write another letter. At the same time, this short moment were both of them were caught up in each other's eyes filled his heart with this sweet and warm feeling as if somebody had poured honey over it. When he closed his eyes he saw the Gryffindor in front of him, his gaze fixed on Draco's body. How would it feel like if they weren't only touching his robes, but below them? How would it feel like following them as they wandered from his face over his bare chest and even further downwards. Would Harry trace the lines that shaped the Slytherin's muscles with his fingers?
Draco rested his head on the edge of the bathtub of the prefect's bathroom. He had come here to relax himself and to think about what to do regarding 'the Chosen One' and luckily, nobody was in here to disturb him. Instead of clearing his mind however, the hot water and the soft foam made his thoughts travel into a different direction. When he closed his eyes, he saw 'the Boy Who Lived' in front of him. He was sitting on the other side of the bathtub and came closer and closer to him as he reached out for him. Imagining that it wasn't his own hand but Harry's, Draco let his own fingers wander down his abs. A shiver went down his spine and into his legs when he reached his cock. Just thinking about those emerald green eyes watching him had made him half-hard.
Slightly bronzed fingers were slowly tipping over his pale, tensed skin. Gently they were stroking up and down the whole length of his erection. Draco felt his heartbeat increase and his breath got heavier with every second. His eyes were stilled closed when he took his second hand that had been resting on the edge of the bathtub under the water, too, and started caressing his own thighs with it. As soon as they broke trough the thin surface however, they didn't belong to him anymore. They belonged to the boy in front of him who bend over him, his eyes fixed on the Slytherin's every move. Being watched so closely made Draco shiver even more. He would have loved to reach out for the trained body in front of him which has been 'hunting' him in his hottest dreams since he had seen the Gryffindor swimming in the Black Lake just wearing his shorts for the first time. But as the Harry in front of him was just made up, he continued to focus more on his throbbing cock that had grown in the meantime.
'The Boy Who Lived' in his mind reached out for his jaw bone while gently increasing the grip on Draco's dick, still moving up and down. His fingernails were leaving light scratches from behind his ear where they set on, down his neck and along his collar bone. They wandered along his chest, pinching his nipples which made the Slytherin moan silently and grab his cock more tightly. Harry smirked at him and his hand was moving a lot faster than before. When it reached up to the tip of his erection, he circled it softly with his thumb, pressing against the point where precum already leaked out. With his eyes still fixed on him, Draco knew he wouldn't last long. His hand tightened around him even more and as his heart was beating heavily against his chest, his dick was throbbing so much it nearly hurt. The Slytherin was close. He needed only a bit more to finally come. In his mind, Harry bend closer to him, so close that Draco could nearly feel his breath on his sweaty neck. He licked over the sensitive skin behind his ear and whispered, "Come for me Draco!", and in that moment he burst over his own hand. Panting heavily, the blond boy opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling above him. How desperately in love could he be, to come from imagining the Gryffindor calling his name.
For more than a week he had not answered 'the Boy Who Lived' until Blaise forced him to do so.
"Would you please stop looking at him like you would die for him is he asked you to? This is disgusting. If you want to talk to him so badly, then finally write him another letter. I don't think I can stand you reading the last one over and over again with that heart-breaking expression on your face. I bet you must know it by heart already. If I see you reading it one more time, I sweat I will tell him, it's you."
Draco knew that his friend would never expose him, but just imagining it was enough to pull himself together. This night he sat down and finally wrote down all the things on his mind.
'Dear Harry
I'm sorry it took me so long to answer. I wish I could blame it on all the assignments, but I'm afraid I just hesitated to write you. I don't know how to put into words why I faltered, even though I enjoy these conversations as much as you do. So far, they have given me so much more than I have ever hoped for and I cannot thank you enough for giving me the change to talk to you this way.
Similar to you, I don't want to accompany someone to the ball who isn't important to me. Therefore, I have decided not to go at all. Due to things I dare not say, I don't have last year's dance in good memory. I'm already not my usual self and I don't want to expose myself to things, I surely cannot handle. I also have somebody I would love to ask, but much like you, I don't know how to approach them. In addition to that, I don't want to crash the small ray of hope I have by getting turned down. Your invitation flatters me, however, and from the depths of my heart I wish it would be possible for us to go there together.
Regarding Christmas, I already decided to stay in Hogwarts months ago. For quite some time now, I don't feel comfortable with my family anymore and I prefer to stay as far away from them as I can. I hurts me, however, not being able to see my mother, but this is a price I have to pay.
I have taken a look at the book you suggested to me. I'm halfway through it and I really enjoyed it so far. I didn't think you'd have such a good taste of books. Isn't it fascinating how well the author manages to describe all those creatures and even though they have another name, you know exactly what he really means. I haven't been able to loose myself so much in a book lately. It's like a beautiful and amazing place I can visit when my thoughts take over. So I really need to thank you for introducing it to me.
Don't worry about your friends. I bet they just mean it well. It's okay for me if you let them read, because if you trust them, I have no right to tell you to do otherwise, but it makes me happy to think that you don't want to share this with anyone but me. Actually, I do feel the same. I wish we could keep on with this for way much longer. This is the only connection to a happier life I will ever have. You have no idea how much it means to me that you let me be a part of yours, a life that has a lot more to hold than mine. I wish I could play a role that would be much more important and useful to you, but I know myself that this is a selfish wish and I have been selfish enough to fill up more than one life with it. I'm just writing this, because all these thoughts and a lot more keep up stirring up my head. They make me hesitate and insecure if I'm doing the right thing. Please forget about my last lines as soon as you have read them. I don't want this to change our relationship. But be assured: I will continue to write as long as you can enjoy it. Just say one word and I will vanish from your life.
D. L.'
Draco wasn't sure if he should sent that letter as it was. He felt pretty emotional when he had been writing it and he hadn't decided yet if this was a line he wanted to cross in their letters. Although he wanted to open up to Harry, he didn't want to force his feelings onto him. He also knew that it might have been stupid to tell Harry he had borrowed 'the Lord of the Rings', but he wanted to tell him that he valued his suggestion and that he was interested in things he liked. He tried to frame it as if he had just start reading it, although he had already returned it to the library days ago. It had only taken him three days without sleep to read it through. When he had returned it back to Madame Pince, he had noticed that Harry had been at the library at the same time. Hopefully, he had noted that Draco brought it back, so he wouldn't get suspicious of D. L. reading the book that the Slytherin was supposed to have.
When he sneaked up the owlery, he still hesitated if this was a good idea. He hadn't written anything too deep, so it should be fine, but at the same time he was afraid of being rejected. It was cold in the tower and he wanted to return to his warm bed as soon as he could. He was looking out for Darius who had found himself a place next to another eagle owl. Snuggled together, they ate a mice. Darius must have noticed that his master had come in as he opened his glooming yellow eyes and turned his head towards him. Examining Draco for a while, he finally spread his wings and flew to him, sitting down on his arm. He looked at the letter that was still in the Slytherin's hand, waiting for his master to hand it over to him, so he could fulfil his duty. Draco really tried to let go of it, but his fingers wouldn't move. All in him baulked to let go off it. Darius, however, wasn't feeling like playing a game as he snatched the letter out of the blond boy's hand and flew right out of the window and vanished into the night.
A few days later, one week before Christmas, Draco found himself waiting with his fellow class mates and the Gryffindors in the dungeons for their Potions lesson to begin. Harry hadn't replied to his letter yet, and even though it was not unusual for him to take his time, the blond boy was afraid that he had gone too far. Constantly, his mind was absent from school and he worried if he had made a huge mistake. Of course, his friends had noticed, but luckily, Blaise had told them something – Draco had no idea what – to make them leave him in peace. He was the only one who dared to shake him awake from his daydreams when it was necessary. More than once, he had tried to talk to Draco, but he had realized pretty soon that he wouldn't get a word out of him.
"You still don't have anyone you are taking to the ball, don't you, Draco?"
When the Slytherin looked up from the ground, he saw Pansy standing way too close to him, fluttering her eyelashes.
"No."
By the way she was nervously playing with her hands, he could guess that she wanted him to ask her out. Something that would never happen again. He had held up her hopes long enough. He wasn't interested in her at all and he didn't want her to think he was.
"Soo…I wondered if you…"
"Pansy," Draco sighed and continued to whisper. Not everyone needed to know that he was going to turn her down. "I'm sorry, but I can't go with you this year and any other year to come."
"But…why?"
For a second, he reasoned if it was a good idea to tell her. On the other hand, she was his friend and she deserved to know.
"There's somebody I like. I won't be able to go with them, but I don't want to spent the night with anyone else either. I'm really sorry."
He smiled at her and turned towards the others, when she shouted so loud it echoed from the stone walls.
"And when exactly did you plan to tell me, you already have someone you like?" and she stomped away.
Draco closed his eyes. Why did she have to tell the whole class about this? Even through his closed eyes, he could feel everyone's eyes on him. 'Why didn't I just stay in bed today?', he thought in the moment Snape opened the door. Throughout the whole lesson, people kept turning around looking at Draco as they couldn't believe he was able to like someone. He didn't particularly care. It was one person that made him feel uneasy. More than once Harry had examined him with a look in his eyes, the Slytherin couldn't quite read. If he was naïve, he would have said that 'the Boy Who Lived' was worried, yet there was a sparkle in his eyes. He knew he had to ignore him, at least for his poor heart's sake, but his body moved on his own and once again, Draco found himself caught up in Harry's eyes, forgetting everything around him until Blaise hit him with his elbow before Snape could give him another penalty.
'Dear D. L.
Your words have shaken me a lot more than I believed they ever could. I never thought I would be a source of happiness for somebody. It hurts me to read that you don't see a happy future for yourself. If I can do anything for you, just tell me. Even if I don't know you, I want to make you as happy as you made me so far.
It's a pity that you don't have any nice memories of the ball last year. I hope this this year, it will be different. I know it's not really funny, but I like the idea that both of us have somebody we would like to have by our side, but we are too afraid to ask. When I think of the person I want to spent this night with, I can't keep myself from smiling. Every time they walk past me, I have to hold myself back not to reach out to them. I guess it must be the same for you.
I'm glad you like the book. I've read it a thousand times, since my cousin got it once and threw it away as soon as he had noticed that there weren't any pictures. I really like the Hobbits. If I could choose, I would love the a part of their community. They seem to be so much fun. They enjoy their simple life. I guess I like them so much, because they are so different from the life I'm living. What folk do you like the most? If I try to sort you somewhere, I guess you would be an elf. I guess it's the way you write, but also the perspectives you have.
I know you told me to forget about your last lines, but these were the ones I liked the most. It feels like you're opening up to me and I feel so honoured that you confined that to me. I wish I could do something for you. I wish I could give you some hope. But by now, all I can do is to tell you that your letter bring me so much joy and ease, I wish, you would never stop writing to me. Maybe I should be a good role model for you. Maybe I should finally gather some courage. Because if I can do it, you can, too. Maybe I should do something I'm afraid of, so both of us can become happy.
Thank you.
Harry'
Much to Draco's content, nobody dared to ask him about his argument with Pansy and its implications. They had looked at him, had been whispering behind his back, but nobody talked to him directly. The Slytherin was used to being among the top 5 gossip topic in the other three houses, but it was new for him to be secretly examined by his house mates. Therefore, he was quite happy when most people left the castle two days ago to visit their families until they would come back in a week for the 'New Year Ball'. It was the day before Christmas and Draco was walking through the empty Balls. Somehow he hadn't been able to stand the silence in the common room. The echo of his steps, however, were the exact amount of sound that he fine with – enough to tell him that he could still hear, but not too loud. Also, walking made him stay awake. Since he hadn't got a lot of sleep due to all the assignments and the fear of dreaming of Harry, he was so exhausted he would probably fall to sleep as soon as he closed his eyes. But falling asleep would invite the Gryffindor to his dreams. Lately, even working out at night couldn't keep 'the Boy Who Lived' away from being the star of Draco's dreams. His last letter had stirred up so many emotions. If felt great knowing that he meant something to Harry. To have it written black on white that 'the Chose One' cared for him and would do anything to make him happy, had made his heart nearly explode from his heavy beating. For hours he had been carrying around a huge smile on his face. His plans to distance himself emotionally from Harry and the letters were working out quite well so far. Not at all to be exact. For a few days now, he had been working on his reply. He wanted to choose his words wise, not like the last time. He hadn't evoked the end of their conversation as he had predicted, but from now on he wanted to change and deepen their relationship in smaller steps.
It was dark outside and the stone hallways were only lighted by candles. Draco was used to seeing huge contorting shadows on the wall, so he had never been afraid of them. He rather enjoyed them , because they gave him a feeling of home. He knew that Muggles had something like electrified lamps, but he had always preferred the light of candles. They always spread a certain type of mood that was convertible for every situation. The flickering flame could be comfortable, romantic and scary at the same time. Draco turned around a corner. At the end of the hallway, he could already see the Great Hall. He didn't feel like seeing other people now at all, but he wouldn't say no to something small to eat. He had nearly reached the huge doors when he heard voices just behind the wall next to him. Usually, he wouldn't have cared at all, but when the second person started to speak, his body didn't move.
"I'm really sorry, Mirella. I appreciate your invitation, but as I've already told you: I'm not interested."
"What is it? What is it about me that you don't like?", a girl cried in a rather hysterical tone.
"It's got nothing to do with you personally. I bet that you're a really nice girl. It's just due to other circumstances that I have to decline."
"But everybody says that you don't have a date yet!"
"It's true what they say."
"They why won't go you with me?"
Harry just sighed what made the girl even more furious.
"If you don't want to go with me, then go alone!" she shouted and ran past Draco without noticing him.
The Slytherin didn't know why his body suddenly started to move again. He walked around the corner just to see Harry leaning against the wall, his eyes closed. When he heard the blond boy's steps coming closer, however, he opened them again.
"Oh. It's you, Malfoy. I feared that it would be…"
"That girl? Don't worry. She's nowhere close."
Why Draco was able to form words and pronounce them correctly while standing in front of his crush, he had no idea. Instead of thinking about this, he examined the Gryffindor. He looked tired and exhausted, knitting his brows.
"So…I guess you heard everything, hm?"
"She was so loud one could not avoid to do so."
"I see. Malfoy, I don't want you to think of me as a bad person. I know it was not nice to turn her down like that, but…"
"You don't need to explain yourself. Especially not to me. I assume that you have your reasons. As if there was something you could do that would make me think badly of you." The last sentences, he only whispered.
"Sorry?"
"Nothing. I understand you, however. As you might have already heard, I also prefer going alone or not going at all, respectively, than going with anyone."
"Have you asked them yet?", 'the Boy Who Lived' asked bluntly.
"Who?"
"The person you like."
"I…."
"It's okay if you don't want to answer. I guess I was a little too curious."
"No, no. It's fine…", Draco stumbled and turned his face towards the ground. "It's just…. I guess I'm not…I won't…They are…"
As no full sentence wanted to come out of his mouth, he stayed silent, his gaze fixed on the tips of his shoes. He didn't hear Harry come closer, he just saw his feet standing quite close to his own. He lifted his gaze and looked into the Gryffindor's eyes. He had seen his expression quite often, but never that close. He seemed so determined. "Would you like to go to the ball with me, Draco Lucius?"
Everything in Draco wanted him to run. Harry knew that it had been him who had written all the letters. He had found out what D. L. stood for. What his intentions behind his invitation were, the Slytherin could not say, but that didn't matter right now. He just needed to get as far away from this place as possible. He turned around and tried to create some distance between him and the other boy. After some steps, however, someone grabbed his arm and made him stop. Draco's legs were shaking and he felt the urge to wrest himself free, but when the hand that hold on to his upper arm gently caressed him with its thumb, he didn't move. Slowly, the hand wandered along his arm and reached out for his hand. Warm fingers cautiously slipped between his own.
"Mal… Draco. Listen. There's nothing to be afraid of. I'm not angry nor am I disappointed or shocked. Instead, I always hoped it was you. I assumed that you could be D. L. quite a while ago, but until now I wasn't really sure. But I'm very happy you are. Please, let's go somewhere quiet and talk, ok?"
The Slytherin lifted his head and looked into a beautifully smiling face. Harry's green eyes were sparkling like diamonds and his expression was so hopeful and encouraging, Draco couldn't say no. He couldn't say yes either, because his mouth wasn't able to form words, but he nodded. The Gryffindor's smile widened and he led him down the halls, not letting go of Draco's hand.
After walking up and down some magical stairs, Harry stopped in front of the library. Usually, it closed at 8 pm, but older students were allowed to work in there for two more hours. The door was enchanted so only sixth and seventh graders were able to step in and every book that was not officially borrowed would be pulled out of your bag if you tried to take it with you when you left. If the school was deserted during the holidays, the library was abandoned. Only the most conscious seventh graders came in here to study and at this time of the day, nobody was in there. Good for Draco and Harry. The Gryffindor walked towards the back of the room where a huge fireplace was filling the room with warmth and light, taking the blond boy with him. He sat down on the floor, leaning against a wall on the opposite site so they could look at the crackling flames. The Slytherin sat down next to him and watched the fire licking the logs. For a while, none of them said anything and Draco became more and more comfortable sitting next the boy he had fallen in love with. Actually it was like in his dreams. It just felt more real this time. Before Harry started to speak, he cleared his throat nervously and placed his hand so close to Draco's, their little fingers touched.
"When I got your first letter, I was more than sceptical. I'm not stupid. I knew that this could have been an evil plan by Voldemort or any Death Eater. I tried out several charms. I checked if the ink was bewitched or poisoned. Then, I read it, multiple times. It was really nice to read from someone who believed me aside from my friends. You were the first one who wrote me to tell me that you were sorry for what I had to go through, but you didn't exactly pity me. You wrote that you were impressed by the strength I had shown so far. 'It's more than remarkable that you went through this nightmare and you still stand tall. You earn my deepest admiration for that.' I read this line over and over again. The way you expressed yourself made be curious about you. That was probably the only reason why I replied to you. I wanted to see how you would react. I had planned to keep myself distanced from you. I was still plausible that you were a Death Eater. But with every letter that arrived, I became more and more attached to you. As soon as my friends found out. They wanted me to stop, but you already were such an important part of my life at that time, I didn't listen to them. Although I tried to respect your choice of staying unidentified, I couldn't help myself but imagining who you could be. I tried out several people in my head and you were the only one that fitted perfectly. The way you expressed yourself, the differentiated point of view, the slight undertone in every letter that you felt sorry for what you had done in the past. Everything screamed of you. When it came to the initials, it took a long time for me to realize that you had used your second name. I even didn't knew you had one until I saw your name written on one of your assignments. From then on, I was pretty sure that you were writing the letters. I hoped that it was you. Because, thanks to these letters, I fell even more in love with you.
I don't know when I fell in love with you, but I first noticed it around that time. I guess it started a lot earlier as I have always felt strangely drawn to you. I have always been able to ignore those kind of feelings until you started to change. You stopped mocking us, you greeted us. I thought it was nice that you seemed to have grown up finally. It was nice being able to concentrate on other things without the fear of being disrupted or peached on by you. When we shook hands after the Quidditch game last year, I realized that this was more than just growing up. You still weren't particular friendly, but you tried to be as kind to me as you could without other people noticing. The small things that you did, however, changed my opinion about you and my feelings, that I've been ignoring for so long, came back to the surface. Every time you smiled at me, my heart began to race. I was searching for your eyes whenever I could. It was merely a crush until you saved us from Umbridge."
Draco who had been looking into the fire place the whole time, looked up confused.
"Do you think I didn't find out? When I heard it at first, I couldn't believe it. It just seemed to absurd. But the longer I thought about it, it made more sense. You were thrown out of the Inquisitorial Squad. You had your hand covered in bandaged for weeks."
He took Draco's left hand and placed a soft kiss on the scars.
"How often did she let you write this, that bloody…" He sighed before he continued. "After I realized what you had done I came to respect you. You had risked so much just to save us. But it was a lot more than respect I felt for you. The next time I met you and you smiled at me, I understood that I wanted to preserve that smile forever. I wanted to see it whenever I could, but at the same time, I didn't want to share it with anybody. I accepted that I fell in love with you. I'm telling you all this, because I hope that I did read all your signs correctly. I really like you, Draco. I really do. So when I wrote you I already had somebody I wanted to ask out, I meant you."
During his speech, Harry had look into the fire place. Only sometimes, he had examined the Slytherin from the corner for his eyes. Draco hadn't dared to turn his gaze away from the flames. Throughout all the words, his heart had been beating so loud, he was sure that the Gryffindor had heard it. His fingers were trembling and when 'the Boy Who Lived' had moved his hand a little closer to his, letting two fingers rest on the back of his hand, he had instantly pull his back. He didn't realize at first what he had done until he heard the other boy swallow hard. It hadn't been his intention to move away from him. He had just been surprised of the sudden feeling of warm, slightly sweating fingers on his skin. Slowly, working against his own body, Draco returned his hand to where it had been, resting his fingers were on Harry's hand. The realisation that 'the Chosen One' was in love with him didn't want to sink into his mind, but his body was full of excitement. He couldn't understand why somebody, who could have everyone, would choose him? Yes, Draco didn't look bad, he was liberated and if he wanted to, he was also well-mannered. But his past, his family and the rumours about him being a Death Eater overshadowed him. These were only qualities that a certain group of people was interested in. A group, he wanted to distance himself from.
For a while, they just enjoyed each other's company. Sitting next to the Gryffindor felt a lot better than Draco had expected. Finally, he wasn't nervous anymore. Instead, a warm prickling was filling his stomach. That Harry had told that he liked him, had given him courage. Courage he needed to lay his full hand on the other boy's and bend his fingers. The 'Boy Who Lived' didn't hesitate for a second. He intertwined their fingers and squeezed Draco's hand.
"I haven't gotten an answer from you though," Harry interrupted the Slytherin's thoughts.
"Answer?"
"Yes, you didn't tell me, if you'd go the ball with me."
Draco turned towards the boy next to him. "You can't mean it."
"I do. Draco, I just told you that I'm in love with you. You are the only person I want to spent that night with. You are the only person I want to dance with. So I'll ask you once more: Will you go to the ball with me?"
The blonde boy pulled his knees towards his chest and leant his head against them. Of course, he would love to join Harry. But showing their affection for each other in public would lead to large consequences and Draco didn't want to be the reason why people would insult and avoid Harry again.
"People would talk. I don't want you to ruin your reputation again."
"Let them talk! I thought I already told you that I don't care about their gossip about me anymore. I just want myself to be happy, I want you to be happy. So, don't care about what people might say and do what YOU want."
Draco thought for a while until he answered with in a whisper. "Okay."
"Okay, what?"
Turning fully towards the Gryffindor, the Slytherin got on his knees. If 'the Boy Who Lived' could be brave, Draco should reward him by doing the same. "I'd love to go to the ball with you."
Harry's eyes widened in disbelieve, but when he looked into Draco's eyes, a wide smiled formed on his face. He reached out for the blond boy's face and pulled him close, his hand buried in his hair. The moment their lips touched was short, but for the Slytherin it felt like an eternity. A tingling, honey-sweet stream ran down his veins, spready over every little inch of him. His heart was absolutely out of control, hammering against his chest. Before he could realize what had been happening, Harry moved back and avoided his gaze.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…I just…"
"No need to apologize," Draco replied and smiled at him. And Harry smiled back.
On the day of the ball, Draco woke up and felt excited. A little nervous, too, but in general, he couldn't wait for the evening to arrive. He had been looking forward to this day since Harry had asked him to go out with him. He still couldn't believe that 'the Boy Who Lived' had asked HIM. That he knew it had been Draco who had written those letters and that he was happy about it, because he liked him. Since that day, the Slytherin was on cloud nine. For someone who had never experienced real love before, it was an amazing transformation he went through – even if it was a little scary at the same time. The world appeared to be a lot more colourful than usual. Everything seemed brighter and even the unemotional Christmas card he had received from his parents didn't get him down too much. He had read through the distanced words written in dark grey ink and skipped the part where his father had reminded him of his duties as a future Death Eater. Draco didn't want his mood to be ruined, although the last lines made him a bit uneasy.
'We furthermore received message that you haven't decide on an escort yet. We hope that you just kept silent in respect of the girl, but we are assured that she will fit our standards.'
Our standards… The blond boy didn't wasn't sure if he wanted to be present when his father found out that 'their standards' differed a bit. Draco tried not to think about how he would react. Everything from shouting at him and throwing him out of the house to being tortured with the Crutiatus curse fell into the range of possibilities. The Slytherin sat up on his bed and shook his head vigorously. Now wasn't the time to think about such things. He wanted to enjoy the night with Harry without any restrains.
They had decided to keep quiet about them going together. Only Ron, Hermione and Blaise were in on their secret. If 'the Chosen One' and the Slytherin would shock the whole castle, they wanted to do it with a bang. That meant for them, that they had to stay away from each other as soon as the other students came back on the 30th. Being separated from each other for only one day sounded like nothing. They had spent the last seven days together, only 24 hours shouldn't be a problem. When Draco sat on the Slytherin breakfast table, however, he had a hard time not to get up, walk towards the Gryffindor table and sit down next to Harry like they had done it in the past days when they had been alone with the teachers and a hand-full of students that hadn't cared about them. Instead, the blonde boy permanently glanced towards 'the Boy Who Lived' exchanging smiles when nobody looked at them.
"I couldn't believe when you told me that you were dating. But seeing it with my own eyes, I still don't get it. Anyways, please stop, eating him with your eyes. That's disgusting," Blaise whispered into his ear.
"Shut up. You're just jealous."
"Jealous? Me? Tonight, I will be joined by one of the most stunning girls in the whole school. And you? You only get Potter."
Draco rolled his eyes. He could list hundreds of things that were better about Harry than Zabini's date. His smile, his humour. His cleverness, his strength. His trained body, his beautiful eyes….But for the sake of their friendship and due to the anticipation that his friend would vomit into his porridge, the Slytherin stayed silent.
The rest of the day went by in a blink and before Draco noticed he was standing in the bathroom in front of the mirror and tried to get his hair done. He had already put on his new, white robe and his black waistcoat.
"Hey, Dray", Blaise shouted through the door, "are you going to come out or will you stay in there the whole evening? I thought you couldn't wait until you and Potter…"
"Alright!"
The Slytherin opened the door. His arms crossed in front of his chest, his best friend was waiting for him, already wearing his robes, too.
"Finally. I wondered what you've been doing in there. No! Don't tell me. I really don't want to know."
"Shut up, stupid. I tried to do something with my hair, but…"
"Aww….you want to look good for Potter, so cute. Hey, don't look at me like that. I might know somebody who can help you."
Blaise walked out of the door into the common room and returned only seconds later, followed by a girl with auburn curls. She was dressed in a beautiful, but uncontentious dark blue gown. She smiled at Draco and made a step towards him. She retrieved her wand from somewhere out of her dress and summoned a tube of gel.
"May I?"
The blond boy shrugged. Putting some of the hair gel into her hands, she got to her tiptoes and applied it cautiously. Then, she stepped back again, letting Blaise see the result. He laid his arm around her waist and placed a kiss on her cheek.
"Good job, Arielle."
The girl blushed. Draco went back to the bathroom to see what she had done.
"Wow…Thanks, Arielle."
She was really good at this. Only a small amount gel had been applied to his hair, but enough to hold the tips back from falling into his face. Hopefully, Harry would like it. Thinking about his date again, the Slytherin couldn't wait to see him dressed up. He only hoped that he wouldn't do anything about his hair. Draco loved its untidiness. When they had been practising dancing together, he had had a hard time not to claw into it all the time.
It had been three days after Christmas and Harry and Draco had been sitting in the library again. During the past days they had spent a lot of time together. It had felt great to finally talk openly about so many things. Things of their past. Things they had done. At first, the Slytherin had been nervous, sitting right next to 'the Boy Who Lived'. Being so close to him while opening up his heart was so different from writing a letter. But soon, he had become used to it and enjoyed their closeness. Sometimes, they had stayed silent, but these moments had been as beautiful as the others. It had been hard to control his heavily ponding heart, when Harry had rested his head on Draco's shoulders and it had taken even more time for the blond boy to dare ruffling through the soft jet-black hair. The Slytherin had been sitting on the floor, 'the Chosen One' lying on his lap. They had been talking about 'the Lord of the Rings', when the Gryffindor suddenly sat up.
"I don't know how to dance."
"What?" Draco was confused, "Last year, I saw you dancing with that girl. It wasn't even that bad."
"Yes, I know the male steps, but…" Harry blushed slightly and turned away. "If I want to dance with you, I need to learn how to…."
Getting on his knees, Draco cupped his face with his hands and forced him to look into his face.
"You really want to dance with me? In front of everyone?"
"Sure, I wouldn't have invited you, if I didn't."
The Slytherin smiled softly. "You could lead me. I learnt both steps when I was younger."
"Yes, but…" Harry turned his face towards the ground again. "I want relax and enjoy being with you without needing to concentrate not to run into somebody. People always expect me to lead them, so just on time, I want to follow somebody I trust. Also, I really want to be hold by you."
His last sentence was hardly audible as Harry had whispered it. His face was red as a beetroot. 'So cute,' Draco reckoned. Without giving it much thought, he pulled him closer and kissed him. They hadn't kissed since the Gryffindor had confessed to him, but now, Draco had no idea why they hadn't. He had missed these soft and warm lips on his own. He loved how that stream of joy flooded his body.
"Sorry…I…" Draco stumbled, when he moved back.
"No need to apologize. Honestly, I was just waiting for you to kiss me."
For a moment, they got caught up in each other's eyes, until Harry got up and reached out his hand to help the Slytherin get up, too. A bit confused, Draco took his hand and followed the Gryffindor out of the library.
"Where are we going to?"
"You need to teach me how to dance the female steps. And I know the best place to practise."
The following days, they had spent most of their time in the Room of Requirements. Harry was a way better student than Draco had expected. At the beginning, the Gryffindor had to get used to being led by somebody else, but soon he had relaxed and was following the blond boy's steps. Holding 'the Boy Who Lived' so close to him, had made the Slytherin incredibly nervous. More than once, he made a false step or lost the timing, but when Harry smiled at him, nothing else mattered anymore. Feeling the muscles of his back under the shirt made Draco want to trace down every single line with his fingers. He had lost count how often he had to remind himself that they were practising and not there to do something different. In general, they had a lot of fun practising together. When he had laughed so much in the last years, the blond boy couldn't remember.
"Are you ready, Dray?" Blaise brought him back to presence.
"Yeah, sure. Let's meet in front of the Great Hall. I have to pick Harry up first."
From the corner of his eye, the Slytherin could see that Arielle was looking confused at Zabini who just shook his head.
"Sure," he answered. "But don't let us wait too long."
As fast as he could, Draco left the common room and made his way to the library, where Harry was already waiting for him. When he saw the Slytherin turn around the corner, the brightest smile formed on his face and when Draco was standing in front of him, he placed a soft kiss on his lips.
"You look fantastic, Draco," he whispered.
"You do, too."
The Gryffindor looked really amazing. He was wearing an emerald green waistcoat and tie under his black robe. They had the exact same colour as his eyes, just that his eyes sparkled a lot more.
He slightly blushed and mumbled: "I tried to fix my hair, but as usual, it didn't want to stay put."
"It's alright," Draco smiled and placed a kiss on Harry's head, "I love it this way."
Taking the Gryffindor's hand and intertwining their fingers, the blond boy turned towards the stairs. "Let's go."
They were still holding hands when they reached the Great Hall. In front of the tall door, Blaise and Arielle as well as Weasley and Granger were waiting for them. Much to Draco's surprise, his best friend was talking to the Gryffindor girl. Once more, he couldn't believe what a great friend he had. Of course, he wanted to spent a nice night with Harry, but he also wanted to talk to his friends and the same was applying for 'the Boy Who Lived'. When they reached them, Draco reached out his hand at Hermione who was accepting it, smiling at him. The red head hesitated at first, but after his friend had hit him with her elbow, he took it.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," he muttered, earning himself another hit by the Gryffindor girl.
"Are you ready to give Hogwarts something to talk about?" Harry asked him and intertwined their fingers again.
"Sure, if you are." Draco smiled and kissed Harry way to short as they were interrupted by Weasley making vomiting sounds.
"Please, try to hold back. I still can't handle…This…" He pointed his finger at them and made circles around them, obviously meaning all about them being together.
'The Chosen One' laughed and walked through the doors, Draco at his side.
As soon as they stepped into the Great Hall, heads were turning towards them and the students started muttering. Somehow, Draco enjoyed the whispers on the quiet. He felt proud that it was him whom the great Harry Potter had chosen. He loosened his grip around Harry's fingers and placed his hand on the other's waist instead. This way, he could hold him a lot closer. This year, the hall had been decorated with thousands of icy-blue butterflies. The huge chandeliers which were made out of ice, spread a warm light and every time a butterfly flew past one of the candles, its wings shimmered like they were diamonded. They walked towards one of the round tables covered by a white cloth . In the middle of it a huge buquet of crystalized roses was standing. The flowers were enchanted to glow from inside spreading little dots of reflexed light. The huge Christmas tree had been switched with a tall fountain. But there wasn't only water coming out. Fireflies were splashing in the basin and from time to time some of them decided to come out and dance above their heads. Before Draco sat down himself, he pulled out the chair next to his own, letting the Gryffindor sit down first. Blaise and Arielle took their seats next to Draco, while Weasley and Granger sat on Harry's other side. They didn't have a lot of time to get comfortable, because only a few minutes after they had arrived, the headmaster got up and the whole hall fell silent.
"Dear students, dear colleagues. I am pleased to welcome all of you at our second "New Year's Ball". I suppose you are all looking forward to a delicious dinner, so I'd like to ask Professor McGonagall if she would do the honour of giving me the first dance to start the feast."
The transfiguration teacher blushed slightly and got up to join Professor Dumbledore on the dance floor. Draco hadn't noticed before, but the floor had been bewitched, too. When he looked at his feet, it looked like he was standing on an iced lake as several glowing fishes were swimming below him. The conductor gave the orchestra at the other end of the hall a sign and they started playing a beautiful slow waltz. Gracefully, the teachers were gliding over the floor, moving feathery to the music. After a while, the headmaster opened up his right arm and invited the students to join him. One by one, the dance floor was filling up with other pairs.
"Would you give me this dance?" Draco asked Harry reaching out his hand.
The Gryffindor smiled and laid his hand on top of the other's. The Slytherin lead him to the middle of the room and placed his left hand on Harry's back just above his waist. Harry put his left hand on Draco's upper arm and gentry caressed him with his thumb. Closing his eyes for a moment to listen to the rhythm of the song, the blond boy made the first step.
If felt amazing leading Harry over the dance floor. Their practise definitely paid off. All the steps, he had taught the Gryffindor were feeling all natural and Draco would have believed he had wings if he didn't sense the ground under his feet. Never in his life, he had felt so light, so care-free and probably never as happy.
"They are all looking at us," Harry chuckled after a while.
"So let them. Why do you look at them, anyways? Your eyes should be completely on me."
"Yes, as yours should only be on me."
"They always are."
Draco lead 'the Boy Who Lived' into a turn and when he held him in his arms again, he pulled him a little closer.
"I still can't believe you're here with me," he whispered into his ear.
"Me, too. I had to convince myself several times that this isn't just a dream. This is real. And I'm so happy that were here together and that you hold me in your arms."
The song just ended at this moment and Draco couldn't hold himself back and pulled Harry close to kiss him. This kiss wasn't like their others. This was longer, deeper and it conveyed so many things Draco did not dare to say in front of so many people. Yes, this was real and he would to anything to make it stay like this.
For two more songs, they stayed on the dance floor and when they returned to their table, it was already filled with all different types of food and drinks. Sitting next to Weasley and Granger was less annoying then Draco had expected. Blaise did his best to keep up a friendly conversation with them and at least the Gryffindor girl seemed to enjoy talking with this best friend. The red head still seemed to have a hard time to accept the sudden change in their relationship, but Arielle did her best to make him feel more comfortable. Draco heard a something that sounded like "Chudley Cannons" and was sure that he didn't want to join their conversation. Instead, he poured some pumpkin juice into Harry's and then his own goblet and helped himself to a deliciously looking pâté.
Time went by in the blink of an eye. After they had eaten a bit, Harry had pulled him back on the dance floor. Draco didn't care at all that they were in the centre of people's attention for the first hour. Instead, he enjoyed holding the Gryffindor in his arms who had started to whisper nasty things in his ear commenting the people around them. Draco's task was to lead them in a way that made it possible to look at the pair in question.
"Isn't it a shame that I dance a lot better than Lavender and I'm not even a girl."
"Guess, you had a good teacher", the Slytherin smirked.
"The best!" Harry answered and placed a kiss on the blond boy's cheek.
When they were not dancing they were talking to their friends. In the meantime, all of them had warmed up with each other. Deep in a conversation with Granger on a play they had both read, Draco's glance wandered to the other side of the table, where Harry and Blaise were lively arguing with Weasley and Arielle about some Quidditch teams. Right in that moment, 'the Chosen One' turned towards him and their gazes met.
"You really like him, don't you?" Granger suddenly asked him. She chuckled at his confused look. "It's the way you look at him. I wonder why nobody noticed before."
"And…what do you think about us?"
"Well…I'm not lying. I wasn't really convinced at the beginning, but seeing you caring for him so much shows me that you're honest with him and that's everything I need to know."
It was 11.35 pm, when Draco gently took Harry's arm and led him from the dance floor and out of the Great Hall.
"Where are we going?", the Gryffindor asked him curiously after they had climbed two staircases. Draco just smiled at him.
"That's a surprise!"
These words had just left his mouth when an interesting thought popped up in his brain. From an outsider's perspective, all the things he had done, including his mysterious behaviour now, could be part of a huge trap. Nobody had noticed that they had left together. Draco could have organized a Death Eater gathering to bring 'the Boy Who Lived' to the Dark Lord. Harry, however, didn't seem suspicious at all. All he did was curiously examining the Slytherin next to him. Harry who had to take care of every single step, who couldn't trust just anyone, who had numerous powerful enemies. But he followed Draco patiently. The walked next to the son of a Death Eater and the heir of a family that was infamous for their connections to the dark arts. Suddenly a wave of incredible heat dashed into Draco when he realized something. Although they had been enemies for the longest time and even though their relationship had consisted of only communicated via letters until they had confessed to each other just recently, Harry trusted him. He trusted him so much, he allowed Draco to lead him anywhere without restraints. The Slytherin slightly blushed as the heat had reached his face. Hopefully, 'the Chosen One' didn't notice anything. But even if Harry did, he didn't say a word, but Draco could have sworn that he had squeezed his hand for a moment as if he wanted to encourage him.
Up and up they walked in silence until they reached the foot of the stair to the Astronomy Tower – the highest tower of Hogwarts.
"Draco…what…?"
"You told me that you like to spent New Year's Eve up here, far away from other people. I didn't want to take that away from you, because I could read behind your lines how important this is for you. At the same time, I want to show you that you're not on your own anymore. You have your friends and now, you have me. I don't want you to feel alone anymore, because I know exactly how that feels. So I thought it would be a good idea, if we.." He didn't even end his sentence, when Harry threw himself at him, his arms wrapped around his neck. Draco places his arms around the other's waist and pulled him closer to his chest. For a while, they didn't dare to move until the Slytherin moved back a little.
"Shall we go up?"
It was pretty cold when the boys reached the platform and climbed out of the window. Draco conjured two blankets, one to sit on and one to shelter them from the wind. They sat down on the small ledge, leaning against the wall and their feet pushed against the parapet. Before putting away his wand, the Slytherin bewitched the stonewall below and behind them to emit a pleasant warmth. Harry rested his head on Draco's shoulders, took his right hand and intertwined their fingers. With his other hand, the Gryffindor gently wandered over the Slytherin's long fingers while looking at the starry sky in front of them. The landscape around them was dark and the only source of light came from the moon above them. Far away from any further source of illumination, Draco could make out a lot more stars than usual. Even the weakest of them seemed to be shining bright today. Also, the Milky Way was clearly visible as it as it wafted through the black sky.
"That's absolutely beautiful," Draco whispered.
"Yes…and it's even more beautiful now that I can share this with somebody – with you."
"I like being here with you, too."
The blond boy cleared his throat. There was still something he wanted to ask Harry, but he had been too afraid of his answer. Surely, it was stupid since the Gryffindor had made his feelings quite clear. Yet, there were small thoughts of doubt in Draco.
"Harry… what does this here make us?"
"Um?"
"I mean, I loved the past week and I can't remember when I felt so happy the last time. I just want to know what is going to happen when school starts again."
"What do you want to happen?"
"I don't want to go back to there things were before. I want to keep on meeting you, spending time with you. I want to sit next to you in the library and hold you hand. I want you to fall asleep on my lap next to the fire place. I want to be there for you. But, if that's not what you want…"
"Draco." Harry stopped his stuttering and turned towards him, cupping the Slytherin's face with his hand. His expression was so soft and loving that the Slytherin's heart stopped beating for a second.
"You know…There's a saying in the muggle world that if you kiss your love when the clock strikes midnight on New Year's Eve, you will stay together for the following year."
Somewhere far below them, Draco could hear that the other students were leaving the castle to watch the great firework, Fred and George Weasley had prepared. The headmaster had invited the two to the ball to present their latest inventions.
"And would you like that?" he cautiously asked Harry.
The most beautiful smile formed on the Gryffindor's face and his eyes were shining brighter than the butterflies in the Great Hall. From far, far away, he heard the people shout.
"3! 2! 1!"
In the same moment, Harry leant forward and kissed Draco. It was a sweet kiss, sweeter than all the ones before. Then again, it was passionate without deepening things too much. It was loving and gentle. It was a promise. A promise that nothing would be like before. That the Gryffindor would stand by him and Draco would be a fool if he wouldn't do the same. Yes, it wouldn't be easy. His father would go mad if he ever found out and he would, like always. The blond boy's body tensed a little when he thought about what he would have to face in the future. The other students didn't bother him. All they could do was talk. Someday, however, the school year would be over and he would be forced to go back to Malfoy Manor. Maybe he could move to his aunt Andromeda. She had always been disgusted by his father's behaviour.
"Draco? Are you alright?" Harry was gently caressing his neck and looked at him with concern and fear.
"Yeah…It's nothing really…I just…Never mind," the blond boy stumbled.
"But I do mind! Listen. I thought I told you that you're important to me. So I want to know if somethings wrong with you. Or did I….?"
"No! No! You didn't do anything. It's just…," Draco sighed, "It's my father. He still has so much power over me. I really want this. I want us…But I can't help to think about what will happen in the future."
Harry's hand wandered from his neck to his cheek. "I won't say that it'll be easy. But I can assure you it'll be worth it. I want to be with you and nobody will change that. But most of all, I want you to be happy. I want to be happy with you. I want…"
Suddenly, Harry pulled him up and dragged him down the stairs.
"Harry...what?"
But the Gryffindor didn't react. Instead, he hurried down the halls, holding tightly onto Draco's hand. Much to the blond boys astonishment, they didn't pass anyone as they nearly ran through the corridors. Just before they turned around a corner. The Slytherin realized were they were heading.
"What are you plan..." he started, but never got to finish his sentence. Harry opened the huge door to the Room of Requirements and as soon as it fell shut behind them, Draco found himself pressed against the cold stone behind him.
The boy in front of him had to look up to him. His eyes were burning like green fire. They completely looked through the blond boy and hit something inside him. They pierced through the small place of his heart that still hold him that this was a stupid idea. That he should stop now while he still could and ran away as fast as possible. But that small voice was killed with Harry's gaze. Instantly, Draco knew that everything that would follow now would show him that the boy in front of him and the feelings they shared were worth all the trouble they might have to go through.
A lot more gentle than his expression, 'the Boy Who Lived' caressed his cheek and wandered to the back of his neck to fondle the skin right below his hairline.
"Draco...I..." he started, but the Slytherin already knew what Harry wanted. Wrapping his left arm around his waist and carefully stroking a strand of hair out of the Gryffindor's face, the blond wizard pulled his (probably) boyfriend closer to him, until not a single piece of paper would fit between them. As their faces approached, Draco felt the urge to close his eyes, yet he wanted to follow the other's gaze much longer as Harry hastily switched between starring at his lips and looking into his eyes. By now, there wasn't much of his iris to be seen. Only a thin ring of emerald green was lining the huge, black pupil. His hands were slightly trembling as the Slytherin could feel on his neck. Nervously, his nails were scratching over Draco's skin and when 'the Chosen One' finally bit his lip, the blond boy had reached his limit.
Within milliseconds, he had closed the small gap between them. At first, he tried to stay soft and calm, but soon Harry showed him that there was no need to hold back. Kissing him like he didn't need to breath, Draco wrapped his arms tighter around the other's waist, pulling him hard onto his body. At the same time, he was licking over the Gryffindor's lips and was soon allowed to enter. He fought a teasing fight against Harry, but quite fast, it appeared 'the Boy Who Lived' was more of a submissive character than this behaviour made him assume. As much as he enjoyed kissing the Gryffindor, however, he soon felt something uncomfortable pressing against his trousers and if he trusted the senses on his thigh, Harry had the same problem. Draco moved his leg a little to the side to be able to press it against the other's crotch. 'The Chosen One' thanked him by letting out a silent moan and by grinding against his thigh. Without thinking much about him, Draco lifted Harry up who crossed his legs behind the Slytherin's back and carried him to the huge bed that was standing in the middle of the room. It was a canopy bed with thick, heavy red curtains. It's cushions looked quite comfortable yet the blond wizard had more important things to attend to. When his legs hit against the mattress, he threw Harry on top of it and followed him only a second later.
When they had taken off their clothes, Draco couldn't remember at all. Somewhere in the back of his mind, pictures of him kissing down Harry's body as he unbuttoned his shirt appeared, but he couldn't focus on this right now. Instead, he threw back his head and covered his mouth with his hand in order not to let out any embarrassing sounds. He opened his eyes and regretted it a second later as he nearly came by the sight in front of him. Harry's mouth was swallowing up Draco's length, letting his tongue gently glide up and down with the movement of his head. His left hand, he used to support himself on the mattress while the right one did things that let slip out a silent moan out of the Slytherin's lips. His right arm was stretched over his back and disappeared between his butt cheeks. He was preparing himself while sucking Draco off. The Slytherin clawed his free hand into the Gryffindor's hair and pressed him down, forcing him to swallow the whole length of his erection. Yet Harry kept a straight face, his eyes wandering up to Draco's. By now, nothing of the green ring was left. His pupils were dilated to a maximum and the reddish shimmer on his cheeks gave him an incredibly hot expression. 'The Boy Who Lived' kept their connection as he pressed his tongue against the blond boy's dick and mimicked swallowing movements.
"Damn…Pott…Harry…" Draco tensed his grip around Harry's hair, leading the latter to smirk.
He gently tipped in his tongue where the precum leaked out and the Slytherin had to push him away or he would have come. Still bended over Draco's dick, Harry whispered, his hot breath leaving goose bumps on the Slytherin's skin, "This is so different, from what I'm used to. It's a lot larger than my pl… and… I wonder if it will…fit…but…"
"Are you sure you want this?" The blond boy had a hard time to control his voice. Everything in him screamed to throw himself onto 'the Boy Who Lived' and thrust into him until he couldn't sit for a week.
"Draco," Harry let go of his boyfriend's cock and his own ass, crawled up to him and cupped his the Slytherin's face with his hands, "I told you I want be hold by you and I meant it." He blushed and turned his face to the side. "Actually, I wanted to do this for months…"
Now, it was time for Draco's reason to say good-bye. He didn't care about anything anymore. All he needed was to be inside of the boy who sat on him, shily looking at him. Trying not to hurt him, the Slytherin rolled on top of the Gryffindor who had instantly wrapped his arms around his shoulders. The blond boy wasn't even in the mood of teasing the other one, so he directly let his hand wander from Harry's ass to the small hole that was already throbbing when he pressed his fingers against it. At the same time, he had involved his boyfriend in a passionate kiss in order to distract him from the pain. Gently, he let the first finger glide inside 'the Boy Who Lived' and soon added another one. Harry had prepared himself quite thoroughly as Draco didn't have any problems to enter a third finger only a few minutes later. Instead of thrusting inside him, the Slytherin was only stretching the ring muscle much to the Gryffindor's dismay. His hips were grinding hard against Draco and muffled through their kiss, he was moaning non-stop.
"Please, Draco…", he panted when he freed himself to breath for a moment, "I can't take it any longer. I…I want you…"
The desire and the unconditional trust that lay in Harry's eyes when he spoke to the Slytherin caught the latter off guard. Unable to think at all, he reached out for the condom which the room had kindly positioned on the night stand and put it on. It was quite hard to do so as his hands were trembling like leaves, but after taking some deep breaths Draco was able to focus. Then, he took the lotion that was also standing on the night stand and spread some on his dick as well as around and inside Harry. Looking deeply into his eyes, he positioned himself and after the Gryffindor nodded, he slowly pushed inside.
It was tight, more than tight. Draco had a hard time not to start thrusting hard into Harry. He wanted to give him time to adjust. He examined the other's expression. Harry's eyes were closed and he had buried his teeth into his lip. The Slytherin took his right hand to free it and caressed his boyfriend's cheek.
"Does it hurt?" he whispered.
Harry didn't answer, he just took some deep breaths in.
"Shall I pull out…?"
Instead of an answer, the Gryffindor just shook his head.
"Ok. I'll stay and you tell me when you're ready, ok?"
He bend down again and placed soft kisses all over Harry's face while his hand was fondling his hair. Draco nibbled on his ear and whispered numerous things into it. He told Harry how beautiful he looked. How great it felt being one with him and how long Draco had wished to be so close to him. He let his fingers wander from the Gryffindor's neck down his arms and intertwined their fingers as he led them to his back where Harry clawed into the Slytherin's muscles.
"You…you can…" he panted and opened his eyes. Although there was still a little glimpse of pain, the desire in them prevailed.
Slowly, Draco drew back a little only to thrust into Harry again. He kept on moving gently as he didn't want to hurt his boyfriend. After a while, the Gryffindor wrapped his legs around the taller boy's waist and pulled him closer. Draco took that as a sign to start moving faster and the moan Harry let out told him that he had understood it correctly. Harry arched his back, inviting Draco to thrust even more powerful into him. His beautiful, swollen lips were slightly apart, letting out moan after moan. 'The Boy Who Lived' was grinding against him in the same rhythm as the Slytherin thrusted into him and Draco felt that he was close to come. He placed his hand on Harry's hip pulling it up a little while changing the angle of his thrusts. Suddenly, the Gryffindor tensed heavily and his insides tightened around Draco. He threw back his head and let out a moan full of lust that directly arrowed into the blond boy's erection. Doing his best to hit this point more and more, he increased his speed. His boyfriend's nails clawed into his back and Draco moaned by the slight pain the scratches left.
From all the times he had had sex before, this one was definitely the best. For a Slytherin it was not uncommon to have your first experience with both genders quite early and even if he hadn't, his father would have made some arrangements. But not even the most experienced person had made Draco feel this great. It was amazing, holding the one he loved the most in this world close. Sensing Harry's heavy heartbeat right under his own showed him that he was not alone. Even though they had lost their usual rhythms, both hearts beat synchronously. It was like they were one person. One being that finally found it's missing piece.
As he kept on moving fast, Draco felt that the end was near and Harry seemed to be the same. The Slytherin moved his weight to the other side to be able to wrap his right hand around the Gryffindor's dick that was throbbing between their bodies, leaking out precum. The Slytherin was gently stroking up and down leading Harry to tense even more around him.
"Please…Draco…."
As he felt himself standing on the edge, the blond boy tightened his grip and after two more strokes, Harry arched his back so heavy, Draco thought it could break and released himself in the Slytherin's hand. The rhythmic contraction around his own dick made him jump of the cliff and he came, too, resting his head on Harry's shoulder.
Both boys needed to catch their breaths and as soon as Draco was able to move again, he pulled out of Harry, removed the condom, lay down next to him and wrapped his arms around him tightly. The Gryffindor snuggled up to him, placing soft kisses on the blond wizard's neck as he rested his arm on the other's chest. None of them said a word, but they didn't need to. Everything between them was clear now. There were no doubts, no hidden fears. Still, it felt like a miracle. Not only the slow, even breath against his skin, but the last week still seemed unreal and yet, he had never felt happier before. He placed a soft kiss on the forehead of 'the Chosen One' who had already fallen asleep. He was sleeping in the Slytherin's arms, calmly as if nothing bad was going on in the world outside. Draco felt so lucky to be the one, Harry had chosen to fall in love with. To be the one he had chosen to be with. As his eyes got heavier, too, the blond boy pulled the Gryffindor closer to him once more. Holding Harry in his arms was everything he had never believe to receive when he wrote that first letter to Harry – a secret letter of love.
